| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:14:19 AM | | Guys in there 20's just wanna party? What?! I had enough of that by the time I was 21. Seriously, don't put all of us into that catogory there are a good amount of guys around 25+ or so who are ready to settle down when they see the right one. Early 20's not so much. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:19:19 AM | Hun get a profile review. You talk tons about what you are looking for but not about why you are a great girl to date.
I would also increase your age restriction. Maybe to 30? Just a couple years can make the difference between guys starting out in life and guys that are ready to find one to settle down with. Butttt you make it clear in your profile that you live in x and blah blah blah. Perhaps you are the one not really ready for the commitment?
You are so young, I think the average of a woman getting married, last I looked was about 28. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:41:41 AM | As for me personally, I like to keep things simple. If we're attracted enough to each other to sleep together, meet all of each other's friends and family and spend all of our free time together for weeks on end, that IS a relationship.
OP -- Wow, you certainly have a weird perception of what a relationship is. That sounds more like a prison sentence than a relationship. Extra emphasis on the "spend all of our free time together for weeks on end" bit.
That smacks of needy/clingy. 
As for the apparent lack of "decent guys", you're pretty wrong there too. They're not all either gay or taken, they're just not into you. At least, not in the way you'd like or demand.
You're pretty jaded for someone so young. Hopefully age, maturity and experience will help alleviate that handicap for you.
Good luck. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:45:32 AM | There are plenty of decent guys out there, just maybe not here on POF...not saying you do or don't but don't rely on this site or other sites alone for finding someone, use it like a way to just getting to know what kind of people are out there....just talking to others as friends you can learn a lot of what you like and what you may not.
Most of us what the same things the "needs" in relationships, Love, attention, security, trust and so on.....but its the things we "want" they can hinder us in our search, maybe someone who is extremely good looking can distract us from their horrible personality....just one example.....but just saying some of the things we do seek isn't something that really ends up being the most important but at a time it may.
I ask only as a reminder, Do you truly know what you want from a mate? Can you see your past mistakes and not have made them twice?
Maybe a bit of soul searching, time off from the whole dating game and just time for yourself....many grow in this world only by age and not really experience...life passes us by mighty quickly, so its not very hard to get swept up by the current of time. Truly, learning more about yourself you end up learning more in detail what you need in another.
this is just advice, take it as you wish. Just be happy and be the best you can be for yourself | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:46:19 AM |
You are so young, I think the average of a woman getting married, last I looked was about 28.
It's closer to 25.6 -- in the U.S. at least (according to wikipedia).
But maybe you're right that the OP would benefit from aging some, as she comes across as being so insufferably petulant and demanding that no really decent guy could stand her for long. With the plethora of negative attitudes she has about men one can't help but wonder why she's so desperate to get one of the horrid creatures... except for the purpose of making his life a living hell. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:06:52 PM | Q: Why does every woman think that every decent guy is either taken or gay?
A: Because they go through life with blinders on focused exclusively on a mental picture of what they imagine their perfect mate to be and anyone that doesn't fit that image can't possibly be worthy of their time.
I feel no empathy or sympathy for a 23 year old woman that is convinced every guy out there taken or gay. Honey, do you think you're every decent guy's fantasy? Do you think decent guys only come in one shape, size and color? Do you think they must have a certain education? A specific job type?
I'm sorry here but the problem is you, not the guys out there. Your myopic vision is creating this problem. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:54:17 PM | ^^^Post #33 is SPOT ON!
I think it's pretty lame that a 23 year old would even have to resort to online dating. Internet "dating" is for two types of people; people that are out for a fast "hook-up" and older, more settled people whom love has put through the ringer a few too many times (read: injured and fed up.) Of course, there are exceptions. One exception could be people that are just plain too lazy (possibly timid) to get out there and TRY to meet people.
OP, you're an attractive young lady. There's really no reason that you can't have a guy based on your looks alone, so the real problem is YOU, not guys. Could it be that you know you're somewhat of a looker so you think you're entitled to having only the Brad Pitts, George Cloonies, et. al. of the world. Or whomever the young women's heartthrobs are these days; Shaya LaBouf, the dorky Jonas brothers?
Besides, you're only 23. Way too young to be wanting to be that committed. You probably haven't even grown mentally all the way into a woman. Enjoy your young years while you can. Sow some oats and give lots of head. Think about the commitment stuff when you're 26+. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:09:06 PM | | OP, add me to the list of guys surprised that someone so young is so intent on settling down.......when you are 27 you will find a ton of guys looking for that, not to worry. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:25:04 PM | In a word, yes. All of the "decent" guys are either taken or gay.
Now that we've got that burning question out of the way: what are you going to do about it?
A few options for you.
(a) Try batting left yourself.
At least you'll be able to share a wardrobe with your SO, and women tend to have less "fear of commitment".
(b) Try stealing a "decent" guy from some other woman who already has one.
A tried and true strategy. Might lead to some resentment, though, and possibly revenge plots.
(c) Celibacy.
At least you can throw out your birth control and buy a smaller condo.
(d) Date the "indecent" guys.
Just toss out your 'dating-relationship-L/T relationship-ring-white dress-semidetached bungalow-2.5 children' program and stop expecting the guys to march to that drummer. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:36:22 PM |
Q: Why does every woman think that every decent guy is either taken or gay?
A: Because they go through life with blinders on focused exclusively on a mental picture of what they imagine their perfect mate to be and anyone that doesn't fit that image can't possibly be worthy of their time.
And men don't do this? We all have a mental picture (yes, even YOU.)
I feel no empathy or sympathy for a 23 year old woman that is convinced every guy out there taken or gay. Honey, do you think you're every decent guy's fantasy? Do you think decent guys only come in one shape, size and color? Do you think they must have a certain education? A specific job type?
I don't see where this OP maintains she's anyone's fantasy, but your post screams "I think I'm a decent guy ~ and I'm sick of being overlooked." Just another complaint in a sea (or pond in this case) of complaints.
I'm sorry here but the problem is you, not the guys out there. Your myopic vision is creating this problem.
 I think you forgot, "In my opinion."
~OP~ There are wonderful men that are not only available, but looking for something long-term/lasting, etc., etc. I have to agree with others here however, just don't count on them being here on the net (not that "he" might not be, but leave real life options open!) and don't be in a hurry. You don't need to waste your time at such a tender age worrying about something that will happen all on it's own in it's own time. Good luck.  | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:44:40 PM | haha, welcome to my world, I've met them all. However, I haven't lost hope. There are nice guys. I've met quite a few, but just none I've clicked with on an emotional level. They are out there. No different then women, there are just as many crazy chicks as half @ss men.
I don't believe the section on what your looking for plays any role on who contacts you, well least not for dating or long term, even friendship. You have to have friendship and date before longterm anyways, so it's all the same. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:46:50 PM |
Just post in your profile what your looking for and what you exspect right off so there is no questions....
Makes no difference, not many will actually read a profile.. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:56:03 PM | OK, I will admit, I have not read this whole thread, but OP there are A LOT of decent guys in the world. And yes, some of them are on line.
I have to say, the majority of men I meet both on line and in real life are very nice men. I think the trick is to not rely on just one venue to meet them. Get yourself out there.
I notice in your profile you talk about moving to Chicago, I promise you, there are a lot of nice and decent men in Chicago.
And in the rest of the world...and they DO read the profile. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:02:53 PM | Q: Why does every woman think that every decent guy is either taken or gay?
A: Because they go through life with blinders on focused exclusively on a mental picture of what they imagine their perfect mate to be and anyone that doesn't fit that image can't possibly be worthy of their time.
And men don't do this? We all have a mental picture (yes, even YOU.)
Not me. I might have a general idea of what I'm looking for in a woman. But I would not reject a woman simply because she doesn't exactly match a certain image or a long list of requirements. I have been interested in many different types of women. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:08:22 PM | OP: About as much as all of the decent women are either taken or dead, and even most of the females that are taken are not decent.
Most females I know who use the old cliche tend to reject the good men and gravitate to the total jerks because they, the females, like a certain physical type or bad boys that they think will turn into great guys as soon as the man hooks up with them, which is delusional. The men who fit the highly desirable physical type are in great demand so they know they can behave any way they want and still find females to date.
Given this is a free dating site, it may attract a large proportion of both men and females who see this as a hook-up site. Also, I would say that I see very few females on this site that really deserve good guys. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 6/12/2009 2:46:38 PM | what the hell is this world coming to, anyway? is that saying true, that all good men are either taken or gay?
i'm starting to really believe that it is.
Nope, I moved out of Chicago and came down to Texas 6 years ago. Yeah it's too bad. But then again, I'd probably find some weirdness in you too OP!
Don't lose hope though. Wouldn't you rather have 2 idiots per day to deal with than 25 horn dogs per day? Quality over quantity. Hang in there, you'll find some good ones in your area. | |
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