| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:34:52 PM | | I think all the decent guys are married--even at the age of 56 I'm having a hard time finding someone that doens't lie or just want sex--I'm not even looking for marriage-just want an honest faithful person to do things with.. Good Luck---do they think we're desperate being on a dating website? | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:13:55 PM | that they (gals) are looking for someone to have fun with. now an example of the nice guys profile- nice, honest, hard working, good with kids, loves animals, have traveled and would like to do some more.......blahh blahh blahh and so on. sounds kinda boring doesn't it, how many of you ladies overlook that profile cause it sounds boring and domesticated ?..
We do like those profiles, however if we think he's ugly what's the point?!
I'm sorry, but looks do matter even when you get older. You look at different things, but you are still looking at looks.
I prefer a boring profile like the one above than some twit who yammers on about his possessions. And if people get all uptight about asking for a pic or one that shows their face better, they are definitely not for me because I'm confident enough to do that and accept that I will be rejected on my looks. IT'S A REALITY and I'm a realist.
The nice guy who gets easily taken for granted. Alex' parents even co-signed a loan to help my niece get a car (an expensive Lexus no less---way over her head financially). See, gals, want everything, their fantasy things, they think they should have even in cars.
Why are you blaming Alex? Blame the parents. I'll say this YET again. The princesses of the world are created and mostly by "daddy". How many fathers on here think that no man is good enough for their daughter or they are not liking any boys that come to the house or they make those jokes about the shotgun?
Men and women get their first taste of the opposite sex right at home. If you want to complain about men or women, you'd better be raising your kids with the opinions you spout out on here, otherwise you should seriously STFU. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:22:55 PM |
...........yet you're single and looking on POF?
Not really, no. I don't look anywhere, I tend to get involved with people by accident not planning cause I don't think being single is something to avoid - but if I was going to look, it'd be offline.
Evidently they weren't nice enough or they didn't love the same animals you did.
Wrong on both counts. They're still nice, and still like animals - you do know people break up for reasons other than niceness and common interests, I hope.
The bottom line is: You're still single so they didn't work out.
Yep...and your point is? Everyone single now isn't with someone anymore they used to be with - um, so? | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 4:08:38 PM | I believe that guys taken or not gay or not have issues just like women do. Its called human nature. Some are mature and respectful and others are down right nasty. There are users abusers, losers. Not to mention liers, and phonys. So its hard to find what your looking for in such a vast mish mosh of mixed up messed up people.
I am not a man so i do not know whats going on inside their heads. I often think that when a women asks them what their thinking and they say nothing that they are thinking of the next door neighbor bending over that morning lol. Guys think about sex alot. But the one guy who says that if a women shows her body the man will automaticly think about sex. Is that true when your at a beach? I mean be real. People do not always have themselves wrapped up in blankets. I just don't get the whole cover up thing, or men will think your after sex. What about nudist colonies? I think 2 people have to click, and that is a process no one knows how it really works but its almost magic. Until then we have to keep baiting our lines and waiting and waiting and waiting lol for that one. We catch alot of throwbacks and want to give up but tomorrow is another day.
I would be happy with a guy that has a great sense of humor, can rock my world and is not afraid to fall in love. Thats about as simple as it can get. But alas I do have my requirements. Having learned the hard way that not all men are not as nice as their profile indicates. Infact some need to be locked up, not saying where but you get the drift. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 4:16:46 PM |
why thank you Polyana brightestblue. Glad you have all the answers. So do you send out those everyone is doing great and life is perfect Christmas letters to all the family and friends?
Oh yeah, I'm a real Pollyanna, just because I don't ooze bitterness. And you have NO idea what my life has been like. I just choose not to dwell on the negative.
I have been told by men i am too nice, too positive, and too together for them. So what do you say to that?
I say they should try reading your forum posts to get a clearer picture.
Look, I'm not trying to bash you in particular. I just hate all of these posts by men and women alike, demonizing the opposite gender. Life is hard enough (yes, even my PERFECT one  ) without dwelling on all the slights, real or imagined, visited by one gender upon the other.
I'm really sorry about your dad. It seems that often, the best among us get taken much too soon. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:11:42 PM |
But the one guy who says that if a women shows her body the man will automaticly think about sex. Is that true when your at a beach? I mean be real. People do not always have themselves wrapped up in blankets. I just don't get the whole cover up thing, or men will think your after sex. I have some breaking news......yes men will think about sex when scantily clad women are seen......I'm tired of some women who play dumb. That would be like a buff guy wearing a tanktop showing his manly muscles with low cut jeans showing his ass crack and going "what....WHAT" why do all you girls just think about sex?????" Gimme a break please. Let's get real. You know women do it largely because of the leverage it gives them in attracting a man. You know it and I know it. Don't deny it. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:17:01 PM |
We do like those profiles, however if we think he's ugly what's the point?!
I'm sorry, but looks do matter even when you get older. You look at different things, but you are still looking at looks.
I can cetainly understand and accept that.
However, given the topic of this thread, it's one thing to say "yes, there are decent men who are single but I haven't found one I'm mutually attracted to" and another thing to say "all the decent men are married or gay." The latter is nothing more than an insult to all the single guys in the world.
Frankly, I have little time for whiners. If you want to believe that there are no decent, available men out there, all you're going to do is sabotage your own efforts. You're going to walk into all new encounters with that pre-programmed belief and you're unconsciously going to start looking for all the negative traits about the other person to confirm your suspicions. And, inevitably, you're going to find plenty of negative traits. After all, none of us is perfect.
However, if one adopts the attitude that there are plenty of single men out there, and it's only a matter of time and a bit of effort before you find one that you're compatible with, pretty soon you're going to see great guys coming out of the woodwork.
I've noticed such a thing myself. For years I thought my bad luck with women was because women have no taste. I was one of those "nice guys" whining about women always ending up with "jerks." Finally I realized that women were never the problem. *I* was the problem. I finally accepted responsibility for my own lot in life.
And you know what? I've noticed that a lot more women are attracted to me these days. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:19:19 PM | Just because I voice my feelings does not mean I am a bitter angry person. Its better to let things out then harbor them.
That's fine. Unless you have a dualistic personality (aka; bi-polar), then your words express your feelings and thoughts. Your words make you out to be a bitter and angry person.
People that have a positive outlook on life and others, tend to live satisfying and fulfilling lives...........whatever there station in life may be.
I'm sure you don't want to be characterized based upon the actions of others. Don't promulgate it yourself.
I'm reading these posts and all you're doing is ranting about the good guys being taken or are gay. However, I have yet to see why a decent guy would want to put up with you!
Seriously, what do you have to offer a decent guy, besides your hate and discontent and therapy sessions?
Your posts scream of ISSUES that a decent guy would just assume to avoid!
Shiny, happy people tend to attract shiny, happy people and become shiny, happy people together.
Depressing, pessimistic people tend to be depressing, pessimistic people...alone.
And there is obviously a level of disconnect between your profile and your forum posts. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:45:24 PM | | rarebird I might be one of the rare women who don't check out buffed men as I am looking for the smile, energy, twinkle in his eye, and a personality to match his smile. If his body is nice thats good but it not like I have to have mr buff body inorder to be attracted. He may be mr america but if he is dull, boring, self centered and a show off, I am most definitely not interested in the least. You see there are superfical people and then there are those who want substance not a hunk. If I see a normal guy with shorts on and a tank top I still look for the smile and personlaity. You can't speak for all women or men. | |
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| Safety tips for everyone online
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:59:13 PM | Safe Online Dating: 10 Tips on How to Date Online Safely
By Stephany Alexander
Are you nervous about dating online? Find out the MUST-READ TOP 10 TIPS on how to date safely online!
The internet is one of the most dangerous places to meet people because of the ability to hide behind false online profiles. People can say whatever they want so it is up to you to take the time to do your research and investigate a potential partner in order to protect yourself. According to a poll of 2,493 women conducted by http://www.WomanSavers.com, 68% said they google a person's name before dating, versus only 31% said they did not. The below 10 tips will show you some ways to reduce the risk of online dating.
1. Guard Your Identity: Don't use your real name on dating profiles, in chat rooms or while instant messaging. Do not post your phone number, address or anything else that may identify you. If you must give out an address, consider getting a P.O. Box.
2. Get an anonymous email account. Some good options for free anonymous email services are gmail, yahoo, hotmail, or hushmail. Some dating websites offer free in-house email accounts so you don't even need to give out your own email address to correspond.
3. Choose a reputable dating service. Don't go to a “singles” chatroom where there is no screening whatsoever. Choose a long term dating site. Some of these websites allow a completely anonymous technology that helps keep you safer. Some dating sites even have phone services which allow users to talk to each other without giving out their telephone numbers.
4. Take your time. Ask a lot of questions, notice the way the person writes and pay attention. If a person is too pushy or seems to be to eager to meet you quickly, this could be cause for concern. Notice signs of irritability, anger or even people who brag about themselves too much. Ask them out their past relationships. There are two sides to every story so listen carefully when the person answers as to why their last relationship didn't last.
5. Ask for more than one photo. Some people may be using others photos or very outdated photos. If you are concerned the person in the photo is not who they say they are, ask them to take a quick digital shot holding that day's newspaper.
6. Keep copies of your correspondence. I can't stress this enough. If you become a victim of cyber-stalking or have any future problems online, the only way to solve the problems is by having proof. This includes instant messaging.
7. Get a phone number. Try to get the other person's phone number before you give out your own. When you phone, be sure you block your caller ID. Phone directory assistance to make sure the phone number is legitimate. Follow up by phoning between the hours of 8p-11p. If they always have their phone turned off or an excuse for not answering during these times, you may be dealing with a married or committed person.
8. Block any person who you are unsure of. If you begin to feel uncomfortable or someone is harassing you, don't hesitate to block and report them.
9. Google their user profile name. Many times people are on multiple dating sites and use the same profile name. If you find this is the case, ask the person if they are only on one dating site and see what they say.
10. Follow your gut instinct. If something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. If the person claims to be a doctor, ask them some medical questions. If they come on too quickly sexually, they are most likely doing that to others, as well as you, at the same time.
The internet can increase your chances of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right but it can also expose you to many dangerous people. However, if you research before you date, you can increase your chances of meeting a safe, trustworthy person and save yourself from getting involved with a potentially dangerous situation. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:17:19 PM |
I might be one of the rare women who don't check out buffed men as I am looking for the smile, energy, twinkle in his eye, and a personality to match his smile. If his body is nice thats good but it not like I have to have mr buff body inorder to be attracted. He may be mr america but if he is dull, boring, self centered and a show off, I am most definitely not interested in the least. You see there are superfical people and then there are those who want substance not a hunk. If I see a normal guy with shorts on and a tank top I still look for the smile and personlaity. You can't speak for all women or men. Ok that's nice but I don't think you are getting the point. The point is if you advertise sex appeal don't be blown over when men think of you as a conquest rather than a person they actually care to get to know. What do you think many men are thinking when they see your 4th photo in your profile? Here's a hint....it's not your brains or personality. And ironically I'm fully aware that many women aren't interested in ME for my brains because I'm a realist and I know what's up. Play DOWN any aspects of yourself you don't want men to obsess over.
I mean if the goal is to get a "decent" man that is. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:19:06 PM |
However, given the topic of this thread, it's one thing to say "yes, there are decent men who are single but I haven't found one I'm mutually attracted to" and another thing to say "all the decent men are married or gay." The latter is nothing more than an insult to all the single guys in the world.
Yep, I'm not the one who needs preaching to. The majority of men I have dated were decent.
And yes pirate you are getting more dates because of your attitude and outlook :) Your forum posts reflect that too. You can complain about something without sounding "woe is me" or "women are bad". I've got my own reasons why I think men won't date me, but I generally don't moan and whine about it, I tend to discuss it in a soul searching, trying to understand way. And now that I have truly bared it to myself and those closest to me, it usually leads back to something that I need to look at differently or try to understand from another's POV. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:11:12 PM | | I used to think compatible partners were common, until I actually started looking again. Finding someone I am interested in who is also interested in me has been a long and tedious process. Decent really doesn't mean anything if you aren't attracted too. Ultimately we are all after someone wonderful who thinks the same of us and I would say the odds are beyond 1 in 1000 of finding them. Not to say you might not beat the averages and get lucky, but at the same time it might take several thousand exchanges too. It's probably gonna take some time. That or you could settle for the first turd to land on your plate. | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:19:33 PM | I'm not taken. Nor am I gay. but you may not be in my age or geographic demographic so I may not be for you.
That being said. I HAVE noticed that way too many women are way way too picky about what defines a Good & Decent guy.
They are looking for the perfect wedding photo look/height
They are WAY too immature to hold a candle to what their IDEAL guy WOULD want in a PARTNER
They are way too Harlequin in their thinking of what a man should do
They are way too young and UNDEVELOPED as a grown woman
They have way too much of their golddigging gene showing
They seek out guys who are out of their league. Ladies.. IF you are a 5 at best.. stop seeking out Mr. GQ who is a 10.
They still view men as "projects" that need to be "cleaned up" as in "He'll clean up nicely"
The older ones are way too bitter and jaded.. and it smells like crappy perfume
The younger ones present as way too "entitled" and UNcompromising.
Oh.. and they ALL want us decent and good men to deny our sexuality.
Remember.. Sex is NOT made by Skil, Milwaukee, Craftsman or any other power tool maker. It is mutually given and received and NOT a bargaining chip | |
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| Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:20:59 PM | The last GF told me a week before she dumped me that I had treated her better than any guy ever had. Then dumped at the time no reason. Later I discover she wanted back with her x-husband who could barely could keep a job, had 300 dollar a day dope habbit, and ran through all her money. Well I can't compete with that and I won't.
If the whole thing is TMW(to much work) I walk away like nothing happened. I have always been the guy who disappears when that happens. I did my protest and complaints with her at the time I cared. I had not dated in awhile since the divorce. Complaints like this all the decent guys are taken is cause you passed them up on your way to the damaged goods.
I am probably rated as a decent guy most women friends tell me that. Just being decent also means being invisible I can tell ya most women look right past me. So I let them. 
-Travis | |
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