| Women and Children First
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:43:51 AM | | I definitely agree. Personally....guys.....I would be very cautious of women who you date who are trying to get you to meet their kids soon. Unless they are only being introduced as a friend in a public place, kids should only be brought into a parent's relationship with someone after they both feel that the relationship is serious and have every intention of making it work. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:19:10 PM | I think I mostly agree with the perspective that children should be kept seperate from dates unless or until they become serious.
I can appreciate the idea that dating is natural and you want to expose children to this part of life. In fact I usually fall on this side of the fence for most things. Protecting children from life just makes them ignorant to it when they are older.
But I say keep the kids away from dates to protect the image of the mother. She is a holy vessel. If children feel she is making poor decisions, or is being treated disrespectfully, that can alter that image. They don't need to be privy to all the ups, downs and oddnesses of dating.
That might sound strange to you, but remember I'm coming from the perspective of a boy who saw his mother dragging a drunk man up the steps who kept puking all over her.
~Justin | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 6/13/2009 11:37:27 PM | | There's not a lot of room for selfishness when you date a woman with kids. The only thing lacking in this area is opportunity and distances. Many woman are pretty much geographically locked, and my roots are established too. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:00:35 PM | | would never waste time with single mums to be honest dont need the baby mummas dramas at all and alot of childless guys wont date them either well see what single mums well for starters they have already experinced the birth of there child then theres factor 2 if they go into divorce with there last ex then the suition they will end up with another child cause the next guy dumpes her then shes fending for herself and she would had 2 failed realtionships 2 alot of single mums are looking for a daddy replacement but 3 the guy will be the back burner of her children she wont have time nor to date even you see woman have been down that road of having children alot of guys dont want the responseabilty of raising another man children key factor most woman between the ages of either 18 to 35 years of age arent intrested of wanting more kids in future alot of guys prefer to have family of there own with childless woman witch the childless woman win out big time i would like to experinced fatherhood in future with the right woman then we hear single mums dont want to date single fathers which is a bluff alot of childless woman want to experinced mother hood for there right partner single mums should give single dads a fair go they think its aloss cause guy wont date them or wont give them the time or day either and its not a lost some single mums quoting cause people wont date them thats a prefrence | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:03:04 PM | | would never waste time with single mums to be honest dont need the baby mummas dramas at all and alot of childless guys wont date them either well see what single mums well for starters they have already experinced the birth of there child then theres factor 2 if they go into divorce with there last ex then the suition they will end up with another child cause the next guy dumpes her then shes fending for herself and she would had 2 failed realtionships 2 alot of single mums are looking for a daddy replacement but 3 the guy will be the back burner of her children she wont have time nor to date even you see woman have been down that road of having children alot of guys dont want the responseabilty of raising another man children key factor most woman between the ages of either 18 to 35 years of age arent intrested of wanting more kids in future alot of guys prefer to have family of there own with childless woman .witch the childless woman win out big time i would like to experinced fatherhood in future with the right woman then we hear single mums dont want to date single fathers which is a bluff alot of childless woman want to experinced mother hood for there right partner single mums should give single dads a fair go. they think its a loss cause guy wont date them or wont give them the time or day either and its not a lost some single mums quoting cause people wont date them thats a prefrence | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:19:06 PM | I kept my dating life mostly separate. My folks split young, too. And my mom married an alcoholic when I was 15. I left home at 16 and emancipated myself in the court in order to be able to stay in high school.
When my daughter was born, I focused more on raising her. Men were more for getting laid. And I was still coming out of a very protective & inward mode for myself anyway. So, a relationship wasn't really something I wanted. When I did have a couple, they were pretty dysfunctional; mainly because I was f*d up. But, also because I didn't choose well (good guys , just not for me).
It's a huge responsibility and I think you're right to not go into it lightly. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:20:02 PM | | I have had a man in my life for 14 months. He met my kids 9 months into the relationship. We both agreed that our kids were most important and if we were just enjoying each other then there was no need to involve the kids.. There has never been any overnight stays with the kids home. I believe mothers shoukd put their kids first, too many times women want to bring their kids into a relationship , the excitment dies downs after a few months.... so, i think people should give a relationship time to see if it might be serious before bring the kids into the picture. Also, moms need to make sure they still pay attention to the kids when the man is around..... And i want to thank you for your post..... It makes me know i've made the right decision.... i have a 15 yr. old son. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:29:27 AM | OP - the reasons you list for being hesitant about dating moms tells me - you probably should be someone's step-dad one day...because you are the kind of man who would do a wonderful job with children.
My ex (my boys' dad) was - well, I'll just say not the greatest. But he was always a part of their lives. Their step-dad was introduced into their lives when I knew it would be serious - indeed, after he died, and my boys were in their older teens, I continued with that policy, simply because I didn't feel it was necessary to parade every coffee date in front of them and, actually - it wasn't their business at that level. But their step-dad - at first he was a playmate. Gradually, he became more of a fixture, and funnily enough - when they got into arguments or shouting matches over punishements - I told him, you are really part of the family now. He became the "neighborhood dad" over time, the one who was out in the driveway shooting hoops with all the kids, the one who not only my sons, but their friends, talked to when they needed advice. I think the greatest testament was, when he was ill - I had a houseful of 16 year old boys, doing my dishes, mopping my floors, and having my dinner cooked when I got home from the hospital at night.
So OP - I think you are right to be careful, until you know the relationship may be going somewhere...and I think that resentment is there and is very natural. I also think, that you unfortunately did not have the benefit of a good step-father, and so didn't get through the resentment to the good relationship. I hope that doesn't deter you completely - because I think YOU could be that man in some other child's life. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:44:39 PM | Hell f*ckin no. I would never date a single mother with kids. To much drama, to much bs, and most of all...I don't have time to deal with the extra baggage.
Regardless of how much they have to offer, they are nothing more than damaged goods.Especially the one's on welfare abusing the system.. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:51:37 PM |
Hell f*ckin no. I would never date a single mother with kids. To much drama, to much bs, and most of all...I don't have time to deal with the extra baggage.
I am not gonna date a single dad going through the same crap for the same reasons too LOL | |
|
| |
| Women and Children First
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:54:22 AM | ^^^yet another generalization. Men always go on about women being compassionate and kind and blah blah blah. Sure, I find in general women to be more compassionate, but I don't think that men cannot be also.
Some people were not meant to be parents, some people were unable to be parents and some people should have been sterilized long ago.
Just sayin.
I like a man that puts his children first when getting to know a new partner. The inclusion can come once the relationship is committed. You don't want to be dragging a bunch of men in and out the door. I think that your children should know that you are dating, but remember you are setting an example! | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:17:50 PM | ^^^Let me point out two key words here..."thought" and "most"...which is what I stated in my post.
You know it amazes me how some people make assumptions and jump to conclusions. But of course that seem's to be normal in the forums.. | |
|
| Women and Children First
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:17:15 PM | Dear Justin,
If you date women with children, do not insinuate yourself into their lives until and if you know that you want their Mommy to have a permanent place in yours. Problem solved!
In simpler words, avoid establishing a relationship with your date's children until you believe that you are committed to a full time relationship with their Mom. | |
|
Home
login 
