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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:04:45 PM | | Ive been where you are before.This guy told me he loved me we done things toghter was constantly toghter or talking on the phone he was my world and i thought i was his till one day he said he loved me but couldnt be with me no more because there was a girl befor me who was pregnant and he needed to be a father to the baby and that he wanted to try to work it out with her.I dont blame him for wanting to be a father to his baby but he was with her for 3 months and called and said it wasnt working called me and wanted to come back but i couldnt take him back because i was afraid he would leave me again for his babys mom so it still hurts but im getting over him and its not easy but ill get by this and go on with my life.So in time you will get over her and find the one God meant for you to be with.Good luck. | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:21:38 PM | | Actualizing is right on, she nailed it on the head ....you cant be freinds with someone that would do that to you ive had that happen to me just 4 months ago i just started filling better a month ago just get rid of every thing that reminds you of her and remember how she looked when she told you, she probly didnt look so good then ....mike | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:34:09 PM | Time and distance are the only cures. You said it. There are some people who are in love with being in love. I have enough of those in my past (at least she told you; one I found out when he put his dating profile back up and the weekend he stood me up a woman put up a testimonial about their night together).
Ignore her calls and texts. Eventually when she gets no response she'll just move on to someone else. | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:27:57 PM | You might not want to hear this but..... U are her safety net,go to guy etc.She keeps this contact to make sure if she wants U back she has U.I am an older woman with two sisters and several friends that all have their "go to" guy.Sorry but this is how I see it.If U allow her to keep a hook in your mouth and reel U in when she needs somebody U will never find a woman that you deserve.Bottom line boy is she playing U. | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/22/2009 2:34:56 AM | Heya
Just because she left doesn't nessisarily mean there was something wrong with you. From the simple line about "The day before we broke up we were sitting talking about getting married." gives a little clue into what happened. Maybe she got scared.
It's hard, but you go on because you do. Most of us have that survival instinct and just keep pushing forward even when we just want to let go. I know how you feel..I lost a 7 year relationship and it was HARD, but I am still here and I am still goin!
Don't give up on yourself ok?
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:23:58 AM | OP, I'm sorry this happened to you, but I would see it as a red flag that she wanted to talk about marriage so early - I know it happens for some people, but being ready for that big of a committment takes a couple of years, realistically, sometimes more. Marriage to someone you hardly know? When I read that kind of thing, I always cringe.
Devastating breakups are no fun - I know. Good luck in your future relationships. As for me, I keep reading these things, hoping that someone will post a magical place that we can go to have a wand waved over our heads and hearts and make it all the hurt go away....... Darn, still haven't found it! | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/22/2009 12:25:57 PM | You know what l don't get is why anyone wants to be with someone who don't want them. I can understand that people get hurt and feel the pain of the break up but wanting someone that`s making it obvious they don't want you by telling you so you just ain't bright.
So my advice is move on find someone that wants you and stop pursuing your dream with this woman that don't shear you dream anymore.
realtalk..... | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:47:22 PM | A couple of things here.......first and foremost.....time will help you get past tis, sad but true......it has been 3 years and I am fianlly walking around here with out toualking to her like she was still here............second....if she has moved on so quickly......9 times out of ten.......she has found someone else to replace youen before you even had the talk.
Women don't move away from the type of relationship you talked about, being so close and sharing thoughts of a future, without having someone there in their world. I hope I am wrong dude, but I am willing to bet that within 6 months, you find out the truth and then you will realize........somehow your future will be better without her.
No one can care about someone that much and then destroy their world with out having a fall back person.
You will make it. You have no other choice.............Your world won't be the same......every song, every place you use to go, couples in the mall, the smell of her, everything will remind you of her and it will destate you for quite awhile, your heart will never be the same and you wil always wonder...........but again, be happy somehow that you found out now instead of later when you had committed your life to someone who could do this to you...............you seem to be a nice guy.......they say women are out there that are looking for someone exactly like you......go find them and do your best not to go crazy before you do find the true love of your life.
j | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:28:08 PM | | i gotta tell you. as the days go by i feel like you are exactly right. i was always the 'go to guy' for her. that's sort of how we got together in the first place. i am tired of it, but it's also ingrained in my personality to be there for people when they need me. sucks. | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:41:19 AM | You have to just let her go. Simple sounding yes, but not always easy to act out. Removing the negative out of your life and being true to yourself and what you want is how you will truly be free. Sometimes things are truly not meant to be, people just fall in love with the situation and surroundings, but thats not true love.
You don't want to hurt or be hurt correct? Then don't, accept this as a learning expierence more than a disaster. Just like I told a gentlemen in another forum, If you love something, let it go and if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be. Give yourself some time to heal, talk to her one more time and let her know you are doing fantastic and leave her with something to think about. Then, just completly stop speaking with her, as hard as it may seem, it turns out to be very effective and very easy. When someone hurts you and you make it out like it don't bother you, to a women especially it is frustrating. If she texts or calls and ask's you something just be very short and brief, keep her guessing and if she wants you back then thats when you will have complete control or complete closure.
The time you spend being sad over it all, is time you can be spending happy and living life. It hurts at first but it really is a glorious feeling, I will tell you why.
It's because when you are hurt that bad and you are able to overcome it, this is a time when you truly will feel alive and in control of yourself and your relationships. Afterwards, you feel like nothing can hurt you ever again. All your emotions, thoughts and feelings are raging at there peak during that type of hurt and for that, you should feel thankful because you get to have those feelings. Be thankful because the person who hurt you, doesn't share the abillity to care and there for you should not care for them. Instead, feel sorry for them and go on with your life. Thats closure for you right there :) Feel sorry for the person who hurt you, don't blame yourself and don't feel sad. For every 60 seconds you spend sad, is a minute of happiness you will never get back.  | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:30:43 AM | | sorry for ur pain--we have all been there--its one of the things proly the whole human race shares--everyone has had a broken heart--or 2 or 3--give urself time to grieve--but set a limit, like --ok im gonna cry and carry on and talk about this to all my friends for 3 months and then the next day im goin to get up and be over it--works for me | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:36:52 PM | I totally agree with -cheeky-. I too, am working through a break up.....it's been just over a month......and I still find it very difficult. I think about him all the time. Having read these Forums for a while now, I know the answer is to have absolutely no contact with him - it only makes sense , however, I find that easier said than done. BUT, I am working on it!
Just know that you are not the only one feeling this pain......and that we need to move on.....if only taking baby steps to start with ... | |
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| How do I go on after a devastating breakup?
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:06:23 AM | ^^^^^^^^^ Sounds like that you have been delt the same shitty hand as myself. I had ran into this rather recently. the best thing to do like what has already been mentioned change your routeen around the complete opposite of the things you use to do with her. plus do something that will occupie your mind so you will nolonger think of her. I know this is easier said than done but it works, try it. | |
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