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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:17:07 PM | Oh it happens all right. Problem is true LOVE at first sight is very uncommon. LUST at first sight is another matter entirly
...Hmmm, that's debatable. There have been a number of ocassions...where I have met someone and said, " Someone catch me, I think I've just fallen in love" 
...maeflowers | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:38:05 PM | | Love at first sight never happened for me at any age. Infatuation or attraction...many times. But love was something that grew...and not always with a person I found attractive initially. They became more attractive the more I got to [u]know[\u] them. | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:41:50 PM | Love at first sight never happened for me at any age. Infatuation or attraction...many times. But love was something that grew...and not always with a person I found attractive initially. They became more attractive the more I got to [u]know[\u] them.  Completely and emphatically agree!! | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:48:14 PM | | I'm almost stunned to find expertise on the impossibility of love at first sight mixed in among the many other reasons single people have handy for sustaining their solitude. It's like there is some mysterious plan behind it all. | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:31:28 PM |
...love at first sight mixed in among the many other reasons single people have handy for sustaining their solitude. It's like there is some mysterious plan behind it all. farceur, your pithy comments are often very intelligent and on target; however, I very much disagree with this point.
One can certainly follow up on an initial attraction; in fact, I don't think anyone here is suggesting not to. The point is, though, that it is just an attraction, not love. Love grows over time, whilst getting to know someone. It has often happened to me that someone I found initially attractive lost his appeal the better I got to k now him: happened to me just this winter, in fact, twice. Happens all the time. Doesn't mean I am going to stop allowing myself to get to know men I initially find attractive. What also happens is that someone who doesn't initially have any particular appeal turns out to be someone I really like and am drawn to and is the man I really do want to be with.
I don't think this can be a case of people finding reasons to be alone. If you follow up on an initial attraction, it doesn't mean you are going to continue to be attracted, once you know that person better. | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:22:26 AM | I can't believe that "love at first sight" is caused by anything other than visceral physical attraction, not reason. And evolution has fashioned us so that visceral physical attraction does not occur when we see people who are, shall we say, past their prime in years. And that reaction does not change just because we're older. So the only way you're likely to get that is if you are a woman who is willing to have a relationship with a younger man who goes for older women. And you can be sure he won't share your love at first sight experience; he'll be in it for sex, at least initially.
We older folks (and by older folks I mean anyone above the age likely to be portrayed as a romantic lead in the movies) need to spend the time learning about each other in order to allow love to develop as the result of a comprehensive relationship, and leave romantic infatuation to the callow.
That said, love at first sight is not impossible even at our age. But if it happens, be aware that it could be the result of self-delusion -- or bad eyesight! | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:58:09 AM | | I tend to agree with RanRan's philosophy. What we once (younger years) thought was "love at first sight" was sheer animal magnatism, a strong physical attraction, and lust. Can it still happen at our age? Oh heck yeah. I saw this hot dude in tight jeans last week and had to do a double take...... rofl. Well you get the idea. It can happen at any age! | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:54:56 PM | Lets all hope that "Love at 1st sight" never goes away .... All I know is that as soon as I met my (now ex wife) I fell in love ... married her 10 months later, yeah sure we're divorsed, but good friends still ... so NO .... will never lose hope that love will strike again ... and if its at 1st sight then great ...
Living in hope ... Paul | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:50:59 AM | thanks for all your opinions. It's just that i'm not a bad looking woman...here in POF get a lot of messages, of course, i reply and that's it! Never met anyone because i back off, for some reason. I feel like i don't need anyone, but why am i here for. My social life is very good, i dance a lot, i sing and i have a good laugh with my female friends. I'm just wondering why am still without anyone??
There is always something missing..... You are wondering why you are without a man or why you do not have love (from a man I assume) in your life. Perhaps, it is better the way you are. We can not get everything we want. When you start dating, you will notice that the men who are available to you are rather boring, annoying or too good to be true. Those men are not good for a successful relationship. That is why they are available. They say: "All the good men are married." True. You might meet such men and fall in love with them, but they are not available! It does not stop some women. You might get lucky and meet a widower who loved his wife and was devoted to her. He might be fathful to you too. But it does not mean that he will love you. Anyway, do you want to go through all that? Smart busy women need men only for sex and that is what most men are for. | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:17:14 AM | OP ... I've always thought "love" at first sight misused the word "love". But, "lust" - intense attraction that makes the heart beat fast - I think is still very alive and well, and always will be.
Occasionally I still "feel it", where a guy can make me instantly flushed and flustered ... I just don't know what to do about it anymore... | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:28:33 AM | | it's more like lust at first sight at any age...and most of it is the result of pheramones and physical attraction...so if you don't take care of your body and appearance as you age, the likelihood of lust at first sight dwindles....may be better to adjust your mindset to finding real love by being a loving and kind person and see what happens... | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:01:01 AM | You could be delusional, yes, or maybe it's me instead, but I think Love at first sight is at least mostly a visual sensory perception and I've run upon quite a few women in my age range ie. my age plus or minus a few, no 20 or 30 or even just hit 40's, women that in person it might happen for me  | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:09:56 AM | Not love at first sight...but I can get 'lust at first sight'. Sometimes it happens when I view POF profiles! Of course, it takes a lot more than that to make it go anywhere....
If lust at first sight was all it took, there would be a lot more relationships going on...and a lot less 'poor me' forums...IMO
~DC~ | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:42:01 AM | I still believe in "love at first sight", and that it can happen at any age. But, a lot of times it turns to disillusionment by the second or third sight. And it's not all just "lust" at first sight, although physical attraction plays a big part.
By first sight, I mean first time meeting, seeing, talking. Like the wonderful lady that just happens to be on the next bar stool, and you strike up a conversation. It doesn't mean all you want to do is to jump her bones...it means that you are impressed by her whole personna.
Oh, yes, I fall in love at first sight about two or three times a week, these days! | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:23:51 AM | Actually, I think love at first sight DOES happen...but it isn't recognized until later.
For example, if you were very attracted to someone the first time you saw them, (call it lust or infatuation), and as you grew to know them better, it turned into love, getting stronger all the time...then, looking back you would say it was 'love at first sight'. I experienced that with the man I moved out here to be with. So yeah, its possible...you just don't know it for what it was till hindsight hits ya.
~DC~ | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/17/2009 4:23:20 PM |
What you trying to say Ms Mae? geez I thought great minds think alike and so do ours but I guess not.
...I am trying to say that I have indeed fallen in love at first sight...ok maybe not so much love, but I've *really, really* liked someone at first sight. Whatever it was it really got the old adrenaline going haha
...maeflowers | |
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| Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age?
Posted: 6/17/2009 4:33:47 PM | There is nothing like "romance" or "love at first sight" Sadly most romances unless backed up with mature loving do not last. How lovely to have those butterflies in your stomach and be breathless in the presence of your "love object." Loving takes time, attention, emotional intimacy,trust and a whole lot more. It cannot happen at first sight. What happens is you end up loving who you think that person is. Not who s/he really is. Some lucky people will still have those "romance /love at first sight" feelings for their SO for a lifetime. Many of us will develop loving "romantic feelings" over time. Personally I mistrust that high romance state because it means that I am not seeing the person, I am seeing my romantic image of that person which is not real. If I happen to have those feelings I will continue to date that person but I will not act on my attraction unless and until I know and trust the person and have a clearer image of him/her. I believe even as mature adults we long for that instant "love"and if it is not there instantly many of us move on looking for it which says little for our emotional maturity.  | |
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