| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:07:27 AM | | Love the use of the term fiance. Five years and counting? That's not fiance. Just because you're starting to think about getting ready to start talking about maybe getting married some day doesn't rise to level of fiance. Sex has stopped now? Just remember it will stop completely once you get married and for sure if you have children. If He's unconcerned about your needs now think about it years from now when you're married. Uh Uh | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:15:00 AM | We've been dating for 5 years, recently engaged.
I've got another post in : http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12545857.aspx
I figured it was a little more appropriate in that section.
That one also carries on more of the story line.
I'm sure of it, that there is more to the story than just what I'm offering up. I'd love to hear his side of it.
Also, I use this site to keep in touch with friends, as well as find others. This site is not completely for sexual deviants and singles. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:19:36 AM | I am still with my fiance, because I love him. We have an issue, and I'm not willing to break up with him over it. I'm sorry I don't treat relationships like underwear. My bad.
Like I've said before, I don't use this site as a dating site. If it were specified to be a dating site, there wouldn't be options for social networking.
Yes my profile states I am married, because there was no option for engaged.
Like BBW stated below your first post, you should check out my other post in:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12545857.aspx
I figured it was a little more appropriate in that section that this.
XO | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:24:37 AM | My advise would be when you are left unsatisfied you tell him, then take care of the problem yourself. If you don't tell a man how to please you they never seem to figure it out on their own.
The problem here is communication not sex. But if you do not nip this in the bud you can plan on having a lifetime of lousy sex. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:18:51 AM | Mmmmmmmmmk, the more I read from the OP, the more I shake my head. That is really all I need further say.
OP, best of luck to ya. My intuition says that you're going to need it.
Cheers! | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:40:38 AM | You ABSOLUTELY need to dump this loser. If you've talked to him and he STILL doesn't care, what else can you do?
I don't know what branch of the military he is in, but if he's a marine they're TRAINED to be p.ricks. The way those guys talk about women is absolutely disgusting and I doubt it's much better in the other branches.
Run away, run far away and quickly. You're a beautiful girl, you could get any guy you want. Don't settle for an insensative jackass.
~Justin | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:04:09 AM | Like I've said before, I don't use this site as a dating site. If it were specified to be a dating site, there wouldn't be options for social networking.
Funny, see that headline, right up there at the top? It says, "Free Online Dating" How is this not a dating site? And why on earth would a person sign up on such a site if they weren't looking for a date? If you want social networking, I would think you'd choose MySpace or Facebook.
Coming here to date and changing your mind and sticking around, I can see. Happens all the t ime. But coming here and registering with no intent of dating at all? Makes no sense. Unless you have ulterior motives. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:17:52 AM |
I don't understand how my asking for millions of peoples help, is considered trolling.
Because given the other info in this post seems like you started this threed so that he would find it and read it.
Seriously nothing anyone says here will do much of anything except assist you IF he happens to read it. I would likely bet it would be accidently left up on the screen too right?
Even though I think this is the purpose I will still comment because I was in a very similar situation. The roles were reversed though. It was me always left high and dry (Literally)
I tried what you mentioned about trying and things just got worse and eventually resulted in nothing happening for long periods of time.
My suggestion....
Change the spot. If you two are always doing it the same way in the same place like the bedroom then just grab him on the kitchen table or counter or washing machine set on spin cycle with a imbalanced load...lol 
My guess would be that things between you have become routine and it is pretty much just going through the motions. Tease him but don't tease him to be mean.
Just my opinions.. good luck | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:32:53 AM |
ve been with my Fiance for about 5 years now.
Lately we haven't been having much sex, (and usually only when he wants to)
But hes been leaving me high and dry nearly everytime.
Is it wrong to ask that he takes care of my needs and finish me?
I have spoken with him about how this makes me feel... but to no avail...
Would it be wrong of me to retailiate by getting mine and then getting up and walking away with no worry about how it affects him?
5 years..? It means he no longer cares about you when he does something like this. I know when I've done this in the past it meant I wanted to free myself from that person but I also wanted to get my nut while she was still around.
I guess you should be happy you're saying 'my fiance leaves me high and dry' and not my husband. If he's like that after 5 years of a relationship it doesn't improve after you're married. Your looks will not last forever. I'd cut him loose while you still have your 'hook' to lure them in... | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:32:09 AM | Let me put it in terms that are more stark.
He isn't making love to you, he's using you to masturbate.
If you want to be more than a stand-in for his hand, then he needs to change or you need to leave.
~Justin | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:41:18 AM | You seem like a very sweet and genuine person
and . . .
The first line of your post maybe more important than you really being entitled to sexual satisfaction. If he's been your fiance for five years, what is taking him [and/or you] so long to set a wedding date? Maybe it's time to sh*t or get off the pot? This may be especially true if he's not satisfying you. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:45:55 PM | If you have a situation that make you uncomfortable and he does nothing to make it right then he does not love you. He may care for you but not love. You do not need to marry him. Communication only works if both parties listen. He is only conserned about himself.
The blessing is that you learned now and not after 5000 wedding invites went out the door. You should break up and find a man who thinks you are the world...and will work to show that to you. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:50:17 PM | Aft er five years together his behavior sounds more than a little passive aggressive, as does your plan to retaliate.
Maybe he just doesn't care anymore. I mean you've spoken to him and he still doesn't seem to care. Maybe getting off is the least of the worries you should be having in this relationship. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:39:40 PM | | If you are considering retaliation, then I think there are deeper issues than the one you're speaking of. I believe that if you're having problems in the bedroom, they stem from ones outside it. Maybe you should seek some professional help to resolve the real problems. Or at least be willing to see that there might be some. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:07:11 PM | The solution is simple. If he stops before you are finished whisper in his ear, "Hey, Big Boy. This is the last warning. If you don't finish what you started I'm going to get dressed and go to the local bar and find someone who will."
If he doesn't finish what he started get dressed and go out.
Having made prior plans with a friend stay at their place and come home early the next morning in time for a shower and a change of clothes for work. If he asks where you were let him know you will tell him after he shows he's willing to satisfy you the next two or three times.
If he doesn't then you may as well leave because it will never get better. Sooner or later you will leave. The sooner, the better, if he doesn't change. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:52:56 PM | | Ashley, I tried to e-mail you as this thread may disappear but cannot get through your e-mail settings. If this is a problem you want to fix, I would suggest getting the book Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. When something like this is going on, it often has nothing to do with the bedroom and a lot to do with other things, often even things not in your relationship like unresolved issues from a parent in a family company or some other stressful situation in someone's life. It is generally something going on within the individual rather than anything sparked from his/her partner. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 8:28:17 AM | Dear Ashley,
This is very thoughtless of him,
I saw a movie once where this women's man did this to her all the time, she decided it was pay back time, she would have mad sex with him and when it came time for him to satisfy his needs she got up and left him in his agony to finish the job alone.
two can play the game.
I think men used to only think of them selves but it seems now days they care about pleasing their partners and to some pleasing their partners become more important then pleasing them selves,
Just my experience. of course this I couldn't say about the older men they seem to be a little more greedy..
  :  | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 10:01:43 AM | Maybe you need to tie him to the bed, help yourself, then roll over and go to sleep and see what he says hahaha
What is sex to your partner, just dip his wick so it gets wet then he is done? How boring and frustrating is that! Maybe you need to buy you a toy, use it and have him watch, it might excite him and he might join ya and Bob's ya uncle! LOL
Some guys are just rude...or was that selfish or lazy. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:20:36 AM | Two suggestions:
1. Get a vibrator, bring it with you to bed. When he gets off, ask him to help you use it, or ask him to cuddle or hold you while you use it. Hell, you could even have him use it, with your hand on his, guiding.
2. Get him off orally first (maybe even an hour or so earlier,) then cuddle or something till he's ready to go again. It will take him longer to get off while you're having sex. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:21:53 AM |
The solution is simple. If he stops before you are finished whisper in his ear, "Hey, Big Boy. This is the last warning. If you don't finish what you started I'm going to get dressed and go to the local bar and find someone who will."
This is a terrible idea. | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 11:27:57 AM | you always have gotten yours first, right Ash??
you know...this is weird...I 'mean....god, girl, wait until you seal the deal and become bethrothed.... ...if it's like this now......he's gonna be the younger version of Al Bundy with one hand down his pants and one hand on the remote and no hands on you
selfish PricKK
Ok.....first.....ya
get a bag o' toys,
then catch the eye of a couple of rock hard guys...which shouldn't be hard
get what you want
because, really, this sounds like you're both on your way to just surviving the Lie...hahaha
you know..like our parents did....ewwwwwwwww. Kill me now.
but hey...at least youre not alone
KImboooooooo
ohhboy | |
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| My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:29:58 PM |
He knows I am on this site, he has my user name and password, and does log in. Furthermore, I am using his computer.
Well, then...he's gonna realize just how pissed you are once he reads this post, now won't he?? | |
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