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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:05:46 PM |
....but obscure references to proust with quick segues to existentialism or maybe even korzybsk's semantic reactions are not date conversation material unless you phrase it "just right".
^^^You think?! Still seems a bit of a stretch imo. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 3:24:53 PM | Lil Brooker
First of all, your failure to correctly attribute what was said by whom nails you as a careless commentator. If you go back in the posts you will see that the idea that the OP is "mentally ill" was first floated by posters who are so threatened by I don't know what, that they just couldn't resist hitting me below the belt. Sorry to disappoint you, but I was not the one who originated the accusation that I was mentally ill. You have got to be kidding, you really thought I was the one who originally floated this red herring? What you dear lady have done is politely called "misattribution". Look it up. Constantly having to correct neophyte posters like yourself is a pain in the derriere and does nothing to move the discussion forward. It slows everyone down. And then, we have to pay attention to you! Hmmmmm. Plus it gets really tiring. Do you always expect someone else to clean up after you've made a mess of things, Lil Brooker? In the future, make sure what you post is accurate. If it isn't, or you're not sure, or you're too lazy to find out, then don't post it!
And second of all, you really need to dump the psychobabble. Seriously. You're either a wannabe practicing medicine without a license, or some clinical scrub who thinks she's a psych wing of a regional hospital completely unto herself. Talk about a heightened sense of self importance! Has anyone else noted how these healthcare scrubs run around yakking about "their patients" as if they were fully licensed medical doctors? Spouting diagnoses and medical terminology to impress those around them? And let's not forget all the drug knowledge and accessibility as well. I think the whole damned healthcare field is a magnet for bipolar disordered personalities. So I am thankful I am never ill. And , at 60, am twice as physically fit as most people half my age. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:04:10 PM | OP
I doubt anyone felt threatened by anything to do with you. You just are that sort of guy who projects an overblown and mostly false air of superiority. We aren't threatened.
You just piss us off.
Somebody mentioned that you might find a course in interpersonal communication useful. I doubt it, you'd think that you knew better than the learning facilitators.
You asked for opinions, and since you didn't get a gajillion guys responding that "yeah, women have fragile egos", you are going to lash out.
There is nothing wrong with a complicated personality, but when it f*cks up human interactions then it's usually smart to either CONTROL the way you come across to people, or else learn to be happy with a more limited and less satisfying social life.
Cindy O | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:15:48 PM | I'd love to answer "yes" to this in order to make myself feel manly, but the fact is, women whose egos seem to be threatened by my personality (I think have a pretty complicated personality) are women who have ego problems to begin with.
Most people don't have the patience for things that are complicated, my personality included. That's just the way it is.
Often, I remind myself that not everything NEEDS to be complicated. It helps. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:25:08 PM | Even though I strongly disagree with the thrust of the OP, in his defense he "has" made some good and interesting points. He's done a good job of staying with this thread and being visible. He hasn't hidden behind a bogus profile or avoided answering posts, some of which have been personally vicious and off topic. Other OP's have wilted under much less pressure.
Many posters have also made some fascinating and illuminating points.
To me, the bottom line is very simple. It doesn't take a PhD in psychology or human behavior to figure out. We all must first understand "ourselves" -- our strengths, weaknesses, and limitations (I hope the OP truly "believes" he has the latter two, and not just giving us lip service to be PC), what we bring and don't bring to a relationship -- BEFORE we even attempt going after what we "think" we want in a partner. The next important thing is being realistic and totally honest about the partner we can attract and be compatible with. In my observations, this brutal self-examination is crucial, but rarely done. | |
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| get the shovel
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:39:13 PM | saw your profile, read some of your strange ramblings
you are mentally ill
and you own firearms
a strong argument for gun control
get the help I suggested -- it really is a matter of your mental health and sanity | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:42:41 PM | most people i've met are different.... in fact, very few people, if any, are the same as everyone else, in reality...
everyone has their own life story
it's just finding someone with whom your biography can become an adventure classic :) | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:19:59 PM |
I think the whole damned healthcare field is a magnet for bipolar disordered personalities. So I am thankful I am never ill. And , at 60, am twice as physically fit as most people half my age.
Hmm? ~ I'll put that in context and ignore it like I do so much I read.
I will say this site is where people rebuild themselves, at what stage of the process they are in, ~ varies greatly. ~ Like this "renaissance" label ~ that covers 300 years! Where one might be "at" in this 300 years , who can tell? ~ It really don' t offer us much.
The ego thing and words of threaten intimidation, you perceive yourself as one of the "enlighten" one I suppose.
Not being a woman, but just a man, ~ I've always enjoyed enlighten people unless they attempt to rub my nose in it. ~ I would think that would go for women as well, ~ don't you?
Enlighten people are by the nature of enlighten ~ non-threaten. ~ It come with the smarts! Rare is there a moment, scaring the crap out of someone to your benefit. ~ Fearful people will kill you! ~ I could drop a name or two here as examples ~ but I think you know them and understand what I'm talking about.
Not if say one is just a little enlighten and very proud of it ! ~ It's then more then a simple matter of fact but flaunted. ~ I'd suppose one might have a problem with women and men as well. ~
To speak on many levels requires you to know many level and be comfortable and proficient with all. ~
The only exception I see to this might be a person very focused, working inside an enviornment of "like minds" ~ like say the Manhattan Project for extented periods of time. Constantly working isolated at that high of caliber, one can lose the ability to converse with "Joe Q. Public"
But I have enjoyed your "can of worms" It's been fun to air out. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:31:15 PM | In a word, "huh?"
OP, it's great to be able to think outside the box and embrace a very wide scope of the world. Yes, you'll encounter many women who don't share your extensive outlook, but that doesn't make them 'intimidated', as if your qualities made them feel inadequate about themselves or their intellect. I highly doubt they're wishing they could be as smart as you are.
It may just be that you try too hard to impress, and it gets boring.
When you feel a discrepancy with any woman, decide if it's a big enough deal to warrant moving on, or perhaps finding out if somebody whose mind is, uh .. not quite as *enhanced* could still fascinate you for her many differences in perspective. You might try being more tolerant of those who see things in a simpler way.
If you're sure you can't handle that, ask yourself who's not tolerant. Then resolve to not settle for less than someone who can match your stratospheric brain. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:03:36 PM | I find it really fascinating that normally I find complex thinkers, and those outside of the box absolutely fascinating, and number several in the group of my friends. Often I am lost in their fields of expertise, but I am always patient to listen intently, ask questions, and hopefully acquire knowledge. Often, I will go home and find a good documentary online to watch ,having to deal with a topic they discussed so I can learn more. I really enjoy this kind of interaction.
But you are a different matter. Your conversation , be it intentional or not, seems to me to be peppered with an overiding air of superiority, arrogance, impatience and anger. This is what is bothersome. Not the big words, not the intellect.
There are several posters on the forum that seem to be incredibly witty, gifted, extremely intelligent and insightful, and yet don`t seem to have the need or intent to
degrade or place themselves at a higher level than other posters. People on the forums, as well as life come from all different backgrounds. They have all different types of communication styles. If you continue to be rigid and inflexible with your communication style, and expect others to conform to you, you might very well have a small circle to choose from . We are all individuals. People you meet seldom are going to look up to you and wish to clone your thinking, and you shouldn`t expect them to. We really don`t want to be like you. At least I know I don`t. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:26:01 PM | Hey easy2like--
1. Put the bong down for a minute. There aren't any "ramblings" on my profile.
2. You have an inordinate faith in your own omnipotence. Somewhere in the clinical literature there is a name for that particular delusional state --it escapes me at present. But I'm sure the nearest lockdown facility has a warden who would know immediately what I was referring to, and might even recognize you by name or social security number as one of the chosen few.
3. Just to clue you in on a few things you brought up in your last posting: (a) You don't get to decide who is mentally ill, and who isn't. (b) You don't have a say as to who qualifies for gun ownership and who does not. (c) You don't get to decide anything about attempts, cleverly disguised as "gun control", to disarm the law-abiding American citizen. (e) And, you most certainly haven't the societal or professional standing to direct, command, or otherwise order me or anyone else on this thread to take a course of action you deem necessary . Get it? | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:39:56 PM | desert wildflower
You write really well. And you have an active imagination. That's nice. But it's not enough. I think you're out of your depth on this thread. Let me know when a thread opens that has as its sole or evolved purpose the investigation of your own personality. I'll be there to add my two cents. Until then, please tell me who is the "we" you think you represent on this thread? Whenever you talk at me as though you represent other voices, I reserve the right to tune you out. That's just too much arrogance coming from someone like you. You aren't anyone's delegate. No one elected you to any position of spokesperson. Speak for yourself or don't speak at all. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:57:55 PM | anger, anger-----see what I mean? This is over my head? That is not condescending is it? You have just proven my point.
Let me clarify the usage of "we". I referrred to "we" to all persons that you communicate with, in general, not this thread. I do think, I can safely assume, without being arrogant, that most of humanity probably does not wish to clone your thought patterns. But I may be wrong. If I am, humbly excuse my arrogance .
I think the point is that you are having trouble communcating with women and that they often disconnect. Is this what you want? Did you ever consider that there might be something you could do about this in order to have a bit more fufilling dating life? Or would you rather just sit back, get angry and degrade them. I guess it is your choice.
But I don`t see that your way is working too well. Your charm certainly isn`t impressing me. ( although of course, I know I would be of inferior breed and therefore inconsequential). So don`t bother with that retort. I took care of that for ya.
My guess is that you are insecure, have mommy issues, and use your whole schpiel to create a wall,thus rejecting them before they get a chance to reject you. That would be pretty par for the course, which would make you hopelessly normal. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:47:38 PM | desert wildflower
So you're a seven- foot tall woman living in Moose Pass, Alaska? Whose profile does not include a photo? I'm curious as to what you look like. If I send you my personal email address will you forward a photo? You are intelligent and have a quick mind. And even though you may have arrayed your weaponry against me here, those are qualities I still find admirable in a woman. Talk to you later? | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:07:55 PM | miska1
Pray tell, What is all about me? Did you read my original post? The question I originally asked was never intended to be about me. It was intended as an inquiry into other people's experiences with the issue of perceived disparities in intelligence between men and women and how that affects the dating ritual. In the detail, I provided some examples from my own experience, as I am only one person. But the thread quickly got hijacked by a number of misanthropes. They managed to turn the entire original post and all subsequent responses into an exclusive referendum on the value and ultimate worth of--if you can believe such pomposity--me, the original poster. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:18:28 PM | Your whole post just made my eyes glaze over.
If you talk the way you write, the reason you aren't "keeping" anyone is not because they are "threatened" by your brilliance, it's because no one can figure out what the heck you are talking about.
We get it. You can use big words. As a Journalism and Education major, so can I, but I don't need to just for the sake of using them, especially when it renders me incomprehensible to the average person.
Seriously, your original post and your subsequent ones only make you look like you have a high opinion of yourself, which doesn't impress anyone. Did you want honest answers or did you just want everyone to tell you what you want to hear? | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:23:09 PM | motownmaniax
I just knew someone on here was not going to be able to resist a comment. It's fine. Actually, my money is on a hostile response. Desert accused me of putting up barriers so I could reject before the woman did. All based on my terrible "mommy" insecurities as desert perceives them. So for her to be receptive to my overture on this level would mean Desert admitting her original hypothesis was in error. Desert sounds like a woman who has retreated to her head so she's not about to give up that redoubt easily, if at all. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:32:54 PM | think the point is that you are having trouble communcating with women and that they often disconnect.
He's been told this by numerous posters. But he's only looking to reinforce his defense that women can't deal with his "complicated" personality. Pfft. What's complicated about a pompous, self centered man who talks AT people instead of with them?
Is this what you want? Did you ever consider that there might be something you could do about this in order to have a bit more fufilling dating life? Or would you rather just sit back, get angry and degrade them.
I guess it is your choice.
No, I'm not sure it IS a choice. I think he's truly in a "can't see the forest for the trees" dilemma.
But I don`t see that your way is working too well. That seems to be the general conscensus of opinion. I've seen very few posts that are in complete support of his statement, which is what he REALLY wants.
Your charm certainly isn`t impressing me. it's a complicated charm,DW. Women's egos can't handle it.
My guess is that you are insecure, have mommy issues, and use your whole schpiel to create a wall,thus rejecting them before they get a chance to reject you. Let's leave the guy's mother out of it. She may be the ONLY woman in the whole wide world he isn't frustrated with,at this point.
That would be pretty par for the course, which would make you hopelessly normal.
DW, I wish I could agree with you. But he seems to be getting really pissy at any suggestion that he might have any "mental" problems, and comes down awful damn hard on what he perceives to be the 'peon' class of the healthcare industry. He seems awfully bothered by suggestions that he might have a mild form of mental illness or learning disability. I think he IS getting rejected, can't handle it, and so wants to garner support for his position that it's a failing on the part of women. He's just another guy that figured getting dates/finding a relationship on the internet ought to be as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.( yeah yeah, I know, sucky wordplay. Sorry. It was partly accidental. Deal with it.)And when that is SO not happening, he fires up the blame machine. The ego being threatened here would seem to be his, IMO.
Here's what I've come to suspect. Online dating sites are fun if you don't get overly attached to a certain outcome. There are some good people participating. But there is a helluva lot of overthinking and overanalyzing going on, and I for one have chosen to shift the larger part of what's left of my faith in romance back to meeting someone in real time. Those men seem less complicated, somehow.
Just my own thoughts and observations. Others may experience different results.
Cindy O | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:32:15 PM |
The question I originally asked was never intended to be about me. It was intended as an inquiry into other people's experiences with the issue of perceived disparities in intelligence between men and women and how that affects the dating ritual. In the detail, I provided some examples from my own experience, as I am only one person.
Are you kidding? Your OT contained at least 12 references to yourself( I, I've, me) and only at the very end do you ask if anyone else has experienced what you complain of. Had you been truly making an inquiry for your informational use, given your alleged superior intellect, you would have framed your topic so as to draw out thoughtful responses. Instead you comment that you feel you are meeting a "lot "of women with "low tolerance" for "anything out of the ordinary personality wise" that " lose patience with you."
Dude! Pretty much an entire forum of reasonably intelligent, good hearted people lost patience with you quite quickly. And as far as "other people's experiences", damn few people ask about other people's experiences with a particular situation or issue unless they themselves are having a problem with it.
Look, I'm sure that dating and relationships with widely differing levels of the same general types of intelligence probably don't succeed nearly as well as those in which the 2 people are fairly similar. I'm also fairly certain that people with unusual or quirky personalities find it more challenging to establish solid romantic relationships. Some come to accept that they may be somewhat of an acquired taste.Some actually do seek to gain more emotional and social intelligence, to "fit in better". (Do not confuse this effort with 'dumbing down". They are not the same tactic at all)
And some choose to blame their dating/relationship difference on some perceived massive failure or flaw like "low tolerance of anybody different" and "quickly losing patience" endemic to the opposite gender.
Cindy O | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 11:05:02 PM | Asperger Syndrome springs to mind, given the verbosity and apparent self-aggrandizing coupled with a lack of social harmony.
I see expressed here some deep feelings of being 'different'. I also see a curious sense of pride about this disparity, as if others' misunderstanding is a mark of extra-special giftedness.
This proves only one thing: it IS lonely at the top. The view must be nice, but wouldn't it be sweeter if you had someone to share it?
Remember: if she isn't as heightened as you are, she can't find her way to where you are. You might have to come down and find her so you can introduce her to the way it looks to you.
I'm not trying to insult you. I just see that you're very adamant about how honed your wits are, and it's not doing you any favours because it sounds like bragging, even if you don't mean it to do so.
Someone's there for you. Just don't overlook the ones you think aren't smart enough.
They may be *wiser* than you are about other stuff. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 11:44:40 PM | | At least the OP sounds like he'll avoid going after a woman purely on looks and sexual excitement. One thing that has always sickened me is seeing men and women being so lovestruck over physical beauty they lose all common sense and turn into slobbering sycophants. I've seen otherwise sensible, intelligent, grounded men and women go ga-ga over the object of their desires and give them anything they want while being abused and treated like doormats in return. Very irritating. | |
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