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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:30:10 PM | To all, young men and women alike, carolann0308 laid it down for you. ~ The way it "is" and has always been ~ with few exceptions ~ outside the fairy tale dreams of youth and few of these "ever" last for long.
Women are busy! and got things to do. ~ Just like us men but more!. It's not a job requirement to pander to a man, just to keep his ego inflated and him feeling superior.
They may do it ! and do it well! ~ But that's not a woman's purpose or even her desire, but some women are willing to do so, if that's what it takes to make it all work.
And as for men, a man that is content to just lay at a woman feet, ain't worth spit. Don't lay a a woman feet ! Leave women to them selves, if she want to be with you ~ she'll be with you, she'll make the time. Let her lead in such matter, for she's leading anyway but only letting you think it's your idea.
It take both of us to make this world complete, we learn to honor each other and come together. ~ and it's not complicated. You control your personal space and wait for a invite for those special moments and occasions to share.
You come in the world with your mother naked ~ you leave alone dressed in the cloths and trappings you acquired along the way. Between the womb and the tomb your job is to make other's glad your here and proud to know you.
It's not complicated, but very simple. Have some fun!
I had a lady friend tell me once , that she thought it was sexy to see her husband get up and go to work in the morning. ~ I took her at her word, she meant it!
Quit trying to make life complicated.
Dance | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:34:51 PM |
Anyone else male or female have this experience ?
Not since I started questioning why I was seeking women specifically to help validate my arrogance and solipsism. I then consciously started going after different types of women. And the problem was solved. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:42:21 PM | A man who is his # fan is not a threat to a woman's ego. A woman with a healthy ego doesn't want to be with a man who's ego needs filling up at the gas station every 30 miles.
A smart, sarcastic witted woman will tear your ego to shreds PDQ when you try to lay the patronizing attitude on her.
Stay with the fragile ego women who will treat you like a king. It works. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:20:17 PM | The answer to the OP's relationship conundrum is simply find a woman that shares his mindset, intellectual prowess, and personality traits.
However, the problem I see from reading his posts is it will terribly difficult finding that rare partner who will stimulate him both intellectually and behaviorally, is strong enough to keep up with his many and varied tastes and pursuits, and is physically attractive enough to pass muster. His bar sounds unrealistically high.
But the real kicker is once he finds that dream woman, will she want him?...lol | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:32:22 PM | Not to be rude but the way you described yourself makes me think manic or ADD.
A man with too much going on, too many things taking his attention and
functioning on several levels at once makes me tired just trying to comprehend what you wrote.
frequently rework at lot of my communications and viewpoints and preferences as I go along because I become aware of connections and relatedness between topics and experiences that may not be so quickly visible to others or which may just be obscure.
Huh?? Sounds like you waffle on everything and change your opinion to suit whomever you're with and/or refuse to have much of an opinion. That to me says unreliable and flaky. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:41:05 PM | well, you do make the disclaimer that it's all women that you meet that feel this way.
So you just haven't met the Striker yet....that's all.
But, helI yeah, there are certainly women who are attracted to different....I'll tell ya that.
and...there are women who feel more comfortable with plain vanilla.
The real question to ask yourself is.."Am I a bad boy"?
I don't know you, it's true, but it sounds as if you do complicated workarounds....maybe to some issues that simply don't require all of that energy.
I don't think that would 'threaten' a woman, but, you know, it might make her a little bored, and off center trying to follow all of that posturing.
Bottom line (to all of us, is) , all we wanna to do is find 'one' that 'gets' us, know what I mean,Giro. And that's not going to be everyone you meet. It just isn't.
regards,
Kimbo********************************************* | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:49:13 PM |
By the way you guys are fantastic I never expected so many divergent viewpoints and insightful commentary as you all have shown. Regardless, if you've thrown everything back at me, criticized me, shamed me, held me in contempt , tried to damn me with faint praise, humbled me , or encouraged me, it is all good I assure you, and thank you all, and those still to come, for your contributions to the question, and for the time you've taken to respond! This has been a learning curve for me and I think I am going to be a better person and maybe a better potential mate for having taken to heart and acted upon what you all have had to say, particularly the women on here who have spared no feelings and pulled no punches.
Averse to punctuation? That's one helluva runon sent...paragraph....sentence. I'd say verbose but then I'd have to look it up (giggle).
You seem to have a very set idea of who you are or what you're like. You also appear to want to present yourself as somewhat of a "challenge" to women.
I scanned your profile (short attention span) and I wouldn't have said Renaissance or complicated. That's my opinion, what you really should think about it are the women you're hoping to attract telling you you're a Renaissance man or complicated? Because that's the ones who will count.
Do you lead an active life or an "activity filled" life, there is a difference.....I don't know all that much about ADD but I see why it was mentioned.
I have several complicated personalities (yeah..that's THIS profile...) it's a lot of fun but tiring at times.
Here's a challenge, see if you can get a woman that you're attracted to you to give some honest input.
Best if luck with that...sinerely. Personally I'm never threatened but often threatening..and more fun that a pack of tube sox.
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:39:18 PM | I'm sorry...but you're not that complicated. You seem kinda scattered...and at your age that's a surprise.
I doubt that it's the "good activities" you've listed on your profile that's hindering you. You might not be a "gun nut" but your words tend to slide you down that road a bit. That alone will cause a lot of women to slow down...and keep moving.
Women lose patience with you because you may come across as arrogant, or that you're trying to hard to be this "guy" and they might feel that "guy" isn't the you. And yes, some could be intimidated by you...but not because you're complicated. You might be complex but most men will tell you themselves that they aren't that hard to figure out.
Do you make things a challenge when it comes to getting to know you? I'd be curious to see what you meant by losing patience with you--any examples of what has been said when one of these women bail? | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:51:58 AM | This has been a learning curve for me and I think I am going to be a better person and maybe a better potential mate for having taken to heart and acted upon what you all have had to say, particularly the women on here who have spared no feelings and pulled no punches.
Good! That's what it's all about and I assure you , you are not alone. Other's are learning with you.
That's the greatest benefit I have ever got out of the POF forums, knowing that you are not alone.
There is all kinds here, ~ and I mean that, "all kinds" ~
We had white females 45 years old , soft bodies , 40 pounds over weight claiming to be athletic, ~ seeking black men or any younger men that can keep up with her.
We have women haters, ~ victims of life and maybe a bad rub, ~ who really knows, ~ and does it really matter why? ~ If you are wounded , you are wounded. ~ They are lost, lonely and confused, full of pain. Lashing out ~~ expressing their pain
We had young women that are way too sensitive and naive with low self images problems.
We have young men hitting on every pretty face they see, some want to show every girl their pecker and talk dirty.
We had people that are attempting to oversell themselves and hiding self doubts.
People in all stages of the rebuilding and comeback to being health again.
Then there is the ones like myself, ~ I 've rebuilt so many times ~ a patch work of pain and life circumstances. ~ With my superman suit on ~ I feel impervious at the moment but I know my next mistake is right around the corner. ~ I too can be brought to my knees by those batting eyelashes and a prancy girly walk.
I 'd like to think that my "project girl" days are over ~~ but I did love it so. A good cowboy known the taste of dirt and develops an appreication for it, texture and flavor. My appetite is much smaller then it use to be.
It's hard on the heart, I now accept my limitation.
We never get too old to learn something new !
the "Eagles" summed it up best,
"She can't take you anywhere, you don't already known how it go"
So take the responsibility for your life ~ the world will not change to you, you must change to it, ~ Find your own personal happy place.
You might have to compromise.
Dance | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:10:37 AM | I understand. I understand that you are a self-involved, gun bearing, right-wing mysognonist. I attack and am hostile because your world view repulses me. You are anti-intellectual not intellectual.
You create nothing of social significance or social value. Occupying your time re-loading ammunition makes you suspect to law enforcement. You're right, you do frighten people. Enough said. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:30:10 AM | if you come back at anyone....with a barrage like that , ^^^^^ up above me here..Bill I. Am......it's still spewing bile, eh?
misogynismt is only one of the 'hates'........
what's the fcukin' difference what flavor hate comes in???
actually, OP, you were doing sortof OK...I mean...you know, you weren't' really removed from the Gong Show...so that 's a good thing......you were doing well, until you tried to thank the Academy.
Now...I'm thinkin Adderol....or Medidate (sp.).........might have some useful properties....that might help YOU focus in keeping a womans attention long enough to say....ummmmm.....well, "Hi'"..let's use that for starters. haha...
This one..clearly...well, it's not about 'them' dude.
regards.
Kimbo************************** | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 5:44:36 AM | | Try reading an OP's profile before making inane comments. I was married for 24 years to a woman whose sarcasm chopped my ego to pieces every day and makes you all look like pathetic pikers. I still have the ego. She is gone. This time I'm going to find a real woman--not a misandristic (don't ask, just look it up) reptilian. Also, making gratuitously derisive and insulting comments about the OP such as repetitive insinuations of mental illness or ADD, is just beyond the bounds of decency, and is only one of the very many posting rules violations found on this thread. With the exception of one or two decent civil responses, you all need to be ashamed as to how little civility, maturity, and self-control you have been able to bring to this discussion thread. The use of thinly-disguised profanity, smilies, semantic jokes and tricks, blatant misquotations and mis-attributions of what the OP actually wrote, blatant attacks on the OP's profile and personality, and finally flaming (baiting the OP for a response), all of these should qualify to have your posts deleted and memberships reviewed by a mod or an admin, though that is not my decision to make. Character assassination, to be sure, is not what Marcus had in mind as the purpose of the Forums here at POF. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:12:35 AM |
We had white females 45 years old... We have women haters... We had young women that are way too sensitive and naive... We have young men hitting on every pretty face they see... We had people that are attempting to oversell themselves and hiding self doubts....
D***it, Dance! Now I feel like breaking into the chorus of "I Love This Bar!" | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:25:07 AM |
The use of thinly-disguised profanity, smilies, semantic jokes and tricks, blatant misquotations and mis-attributions of what the OP actually wrote, blatant attacks on the OP's profile and personality, and finally flaming (baiting the OP for a response), all of these should qualify to have your posts deleted and memberships reviewed by a mod or an admin, though that is not my decision to make. Character assassination, to be sure, is not what Marcus had in mind as the purpose of the Forums here at POF.
I agree, but it's why they come here, what they do, and maybe also what they miss most from past relationships. POF forums provide a safe and convenient way to thicken your skin. Stick around and in no time you will be amused rather than insulted. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:31:00 AM | ^^^ from the pathetic pikers peanut gallery... I happen to love alliteration--couldn't resist!
Op, you have a right to be angry there's been a lot of 'stuff' shot out of nowhere at you, and its disagreeable to read to say the least.
I do recall though that your second post on this thread was one in which you seemed pleased at the responses, albeit there had already been some indication of what was to come. Up until then (meaning post #28) to my way of thinking you seemed to have about 9 good/neutral viewpoints expressed. And while I've read the entire thread, but didn't go through the remaining to look for isolated 'good/neutral' comments, I can assume from that there will be other examples of civility, neutrality and insight littered throughout that section too...but methinks...more infrequently.
That said, it would bring that number up far beyond the 1 or 2 civil posts...not being harsh---just would prefer that you don't knock us all down when some of us who post pretty regularly are not into maligning people willy-nilly (if ever) or shooting our mouths off indiscriminately to see what 'sticks'....clearly though others are. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:41:33 PM |
The use of thinly-disguised profanity, smilies, semantic jokes and tricks, blatant misquotations and mis-attributions of what the OP actually wrote, blatant attacks on the OP's profile and personality, and finally flaming (baiting the OP for a response), all of these should qualify to have your posts deleted and memberships reviewed by a mod or an admin, though that is not my decision to make.
Dude, you need to chill a little. Realize that the forum are brutal, so you take what you can with a grain of salt and ignore the rest.
After reading some of the comments here I went and checked your profile. I do not see there any elusions of grandeur, but a rather humble guy who albeit does not find himself being attractive, you could do with what you got quite well.
Take the same mental discipline and passion that you put into cycling and you could be very, very successful with the ladies. In fact, you should have something in your favor, and that is that you can find ladies around your age group and younger, meaning forty and fifty something that are stunningly attractive, but because most men at that age consider strenuous sport a round of golf, or pushing the remote control, they are morbidly out of shape. So there are a great number of these ladies available and looking for a guy that is in shape and lives a healthy lifestyle.
If anything, as I mentioned to you earlier, part of your problem may have to do that you try to validate your self to these women, instead of just take you for who you are. Back when I was dating sometimes they wanted to get together and I simply declined because I had a race, a century, or having a group going up to the mountains and do six gap.
So more importantly, what do you ride?
Hehehe | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:40:16 PM | But what I can`t figure out, if he isn`t fishing for validation on his looks, why does he have that stupid rating system for his pictures up there. Kind of looks like fishing to me. I`m sorry but the whol profile does not seem confident to me, it seems arrogant; and screaming "Look how great I am."But everyone has a different perception of things.
But I am not into type A overly confident and aggressive superior acting types of men.
Some women like that. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:26:21 PM |
It just seems to me a lot of the women I've met have a low tolerance for anything out of the ordinary personality-wise and lose patience with me rather quickly.
Backing my usual mantra into your post: Relationships between men and women involve an exchange of behaviors by each that make the other feel loved.
An approach that depends on relationships based on personality attributes doesn't work. Nearly everyone on here, who isn't a serial killer looking for his next victim (and maybe some of those), is as virtuous as any other person.
Everyone has the potential to portray and act according to their best virtues; virtues considered positive by nearly everyone else. If it were a matter of exchange of admiration points, every pot would now have its lid. Everyone would be in a successful relationship.
Loving is the secret of loving.
Most men won't accept this simple formula, unless they think they've discovered it themselves. We can't be taught, we can only learn, when we face the need to learn and do it ourselves.
You probably won't accept it either.
Here it is anyway: Learn how to love women. When you accomplish that you will find the trust, acceptance and appreciation, you so frustratingly seek.
If you are as "Renaissance" as you say, maybe you'll be the exceptional male who isn't afraid to accept another male's help. If so, I'll be happy to help you with the rest of it.
And, if you do, we're sure gonna' miss your erudite posts around here. You'll be too busy with the love of your life, for us. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:10:18 PM | The easiest thing you could do to help in getting to know someone is to talk less -- very little -- and ask more questions of the other.
I have a feeling you tend to go on and on and talk too much and that may be what the turn off is that you're experiencing.
You may be thinking it's the content of your speech when in reality it is just too damn much. | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:21:43 PM |
The easiest thing you could do to help in getting to know someone is to talk less -- very little -- and ask more questions of the other.
Very good, janet. But then a woman would know that little fact.
The next thing is not just to question, but to actively understand the feelings, the emotions, of the woman to whom he's speaking.
Maybe, he'll pay attention if he hears a woman say it, janet; wanna bet?
(Shrugs) | |
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| Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:10:05 PM | Msg 41:
emphasizing and focusing on similarities helps achieve connection. emphasizing and focusing on differences helps block it. we all have our preferences, but in the end what we all want is about 90 percent identical.
This is breathtakingly beautiful. Thanks for posting it!
OP, to answer your question: No, a man's complicated personality does not threaten a woman's ego.
You are not asking the right question. | |
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