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 Andrew Wiggen
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 201
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?Page 9 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
When it comes to intellectual superiority by someone simply stating they are, online, with nothing further to back it up but their word, it often becomes subjective in these forums, based on many things, particularly that of the reader's own intellect and reading comprehension/interpretive skills or lack thereof.


Agreed. And very well stated. I often find that the mediocre are always the ones who rant about how smart they are, and often times get furious whenever challenged.
You can spot these people by their inability to follow the logic at hand and their absolute statements without content to back them up. For example, if I make a logical point, the Mediocre Mind's only retort is to completely ignore that valid logic, and simply states "You are stupid." as if childish name calling means that they win the argument.


In other words, intelligent people have nowhere to turn because stupid people will harass them for speaking out.

You are not going to let up are you? So basically, if you speak out you must be assumed to intelligent? I mean since we are generalizing and everything.

Let me break this down.

Savant: Heavens, I am at the moment in need of some form of nourishment. It were as if I were a famine victim.

Country boy: I'm hungry as a mule..

Both of these people want food, yet why is what the savant said assumed to be the more intelligent? nothing more than the social class system that evolved from the monarchies of old.

What I find amusing is that the country boy said the exact same thing with less oxygen, effort, and energy. Yet the savant is the "intelligent" one.
 StraightjacketOptional
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 202
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:38:18 PM

In other words, intelligent people have nowhere to turn because stupid people will harass them for speaking out.


Now,let's just replace the words "stupid people" with the words "people of a different mindset",shall we?
Otherwise,it appears to be somewhat judgemental.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 203
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:38:27 PM
A key to good communication is understanding. A good communicator can rephrase it in a way that the other person can understand it, a poor communicator has no idea how to make the message understandable. It's not always a matter of intelligence or lack of, some people use different vernacular or phrases that the other may not be familiar with.

Of course it's easier if they know each other, but a good communicator will continue to communicate until their message is understood. A poor communicator either doesn't know how to or doesn't care to. (Same for educators, IMO)
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 204
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:42:12 PM

In other words, intelligent people have nowhere to turn because stupid people will harass them for speaking out.


I don't believe that's what I said at all.

The world's in a mess for various reasons and I wouldn't place intelligent people being harrassed by stupid people as the root cause (yes, I'm being a smart a$$). In fact, it's very often intelligent people who have found devious ways to mess up the world, not the least of which is often their own inflated egos as the root cause.
 Andrew Wiggen
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 205
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:43:25 PM

Now,let's just replace the words "stupid people" with the words "people of a different mindset",shall we?
Otherwise,it appears to be somewhat judgemental.


That is the point that being made. But he doesn't want to come off like a****when he says it, so he has to pretend to want everyone to get along and be merry, but at the same time be able to call people stupid and dumb. America is awesome. At least cw35 admits he is a jerk. It as if we have to deal with two archetypes.The man who is intelligent yet secretly wishes to be a jerk, or the jerk who secretly wishes he was intelligent. Loose loose either way.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 206
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:43:50 PM
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
............that is the question of this thread!

If a man is claiming to have a complicated personality......he is probably a man that doesn't even understand himself and I am so totally asking him.....why the hell would he expect a woman or any other person, male or female to understand him and/or his personality complications.

Next.......I am not sure why it would threaten a woman's ego when it is unclear what the threat really is. I say.....confusion would mostly likely make her or anyone else want to run hard and fast.

Yah need a trained professional sweetheart to uncomplicate you, before you can expect anyone else to understand you. Are you looking for a woman to be your
"Fairy God Mother."
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 207
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:44:19 PM
Bean's humility and lack of ego in the face of his many superiorities ...


Therein lies the key to being loved by and loving your fellow man. Unless you can check your ego at the door you will undoubtedly suffer loneliness forever. All people have their positive qualities, if you are not capable of seeing other's beauty then you are a going to die a lonely man. Looking strictly at man's intellect is sad. Kindness, love, patience and nurturing do not depend on intellect, you are missing out on so much.
 TopChuck
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 208
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:54:04 PM

We're a funny species.


Useless species, is more like it.

I comfort myself with the knowledge that I wasn't intended to be born into it.

That said, it's been interesting observing it, from the point of view of an outsider.

Undoubtedly, the human species has been far more interesting than the species into which I was intended to have been born.


But demonstrate intellectual superiority and that would be about the time the Hoo-Hah hits the fan.


That's the point. It wasn't demonstrated. From the lack of ability to string words together to form coherent sentences, to the arrogance of claiming to be a modern day Merlin or Leonardo, his posturing belied his essence.

"But you gotta' know the territory. Whadda ya talk; whadda ya talk?"

.
 easy2like
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 209
girogenatalia -- have you ever listened to yourself?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:00:37 PM
Message: I'm more or less a "Renaissance Man" , active and inquisitive in several areas of endeavor. I'm not that easy to categorize, at least not using the terms most women choose when describing their ideal mate. In fact I function on several levels at once and frequently rework at lot of my communications and viewpoints and preferences as I go along because I become aware of connections and relatedness between topics and experiences that may not be so quickly visible to others or which may just be obscure. It just seems to me a lot of the women I've met have a low tolerance for anything out of the ordinary personality-wise and lose patience with me rather quickly. I am becoming alarmed at the lopsided ratio of the number of women I'm "meeting" versus the number of women I'm "keeping". Anyone else male or female have this experience ?

DUDE HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO YOURSELF?? I WAS PASSING OUT IN THE FIRST SENTENCE!!! DIDNT KNOW IF I WANTED TO LAFF OR PUT A GUN IN MY MOUTH!! Your Mom luvs ya cuz that's what Moms do but beyond that you stand a snowball's chance -- got over yourself. Small wonder you bomb with the ladies.

Your problem shines in your first sentence -- Renaissance Man?? Puleez -- don't tell people that you are one -- be one. And a true Renaissance Man -- since I perfected it I am entitled to tell you -- does NOT discuss himself. Being broadened in your horizons means that you transcend the obvious and the mundane -- and you have a long, long way to go.

I would give a seminar but why enlighten the opposition.

BTW I never have your problem -- I shut up and listen.
 giroditalia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 210
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:05:14 PM
Hey easy2like (very original name I might add)-- Gratuitous vulgarity and defacing an OP's screen name are the province of a true Renaissance Man? Did your parents teach you that one? Or are you just playing to the vulgarian portion of the crowd and hoping to get some crib time out of it?

One other suggestion to those who believe I do not have the right to defend myself in any manner I see fit, when personally attacked on this thread. Or that said defense appears to you to be "without sense": Why not start your own thread? Then I will come and visit and savage you personally for the contents of your original post.

I will not act like a guest in your house. Instead, I will act like a boorish, hostile intruder. I will, like the paranoiac that I am, take it on faith that everything you wrote was intended to insult me personally. I will use profanity. I will use sarcasm. I will litter the posts with smilies. I will accuse you of having a mental illness or needing medication. I will lash out with vulgarity and disrespect.

And then I will draw sustenance and credibility from the fact that 256 "Stepford Wives" (and one or two "Stepford Husbands") on this thread will agree with everything I've said about you. Bet that'll just make your day.

But I don't think you've got the guts to handle that kind of fire. That's why good leaders are in such short supply. It's lonely at the top. And face it kids, for the past week I've been your indulgent Pied Piper, haven't I? You may have hated me, but you've danced to my tune the entire time, you've immortalized me for the life of the thread, and what more could any artist ask for?
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 211
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:16:48 PM

But I don't think you've got the guts to handle that kind of fire. That's why good leaders are in such short supply. It's lonely at the top. And face it kids, for the past week I've been your indulgent Pied Piper, haven't I? You may have hated me, but you've danced to my tune the entire time, you've immortalized me for the life of the thread, and what more could any artist ask for?


Oh my Gawd...I...I think you're right OP! You ARE MY personal Pied Piper. I've been a whirling dervish, eagerly awaiting any and every drop of wisdom you prepare to impart upon us unwashed masses here in POF land.

I don't think I've EVER fell this deeply in lust with such an ego. You...you make my heart flutter OP.

I eagerly await further instruction oh mighty Pied Piper....
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 212
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:23:38 PM
What is so complicated about someone's personality? It's either good or it's not... any other variations are like icing on the cake of nails on a chalkboard.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 213
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:34:06 PM

I will accuse you of having a mental illness or needing medication.

Interesting, that you, OP, introduce this idea, because your posts read like the manic phase of bipolar depression.
 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 214
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girogenatalia -- have you ever listened to yourself?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:50:28 PM
" Golly Gee Wally !" " How can I get back my jacket from that girl before mother finds out!

"Well Beav, you shouldn't gave it to her. " " Well Wally she was cold."

Now that's about as complicated life needs to get! ~

I spent a few years down in Austin, running with up-and-coming singing talent, and hanging with life long 38 to 45 year old professional students. ~ Working on their 3rd and 4th degree while slinging hash or hopping table on the side, or just paying a 6 string on a downtown street corner, they were that good. Academian's ~ what a crowd! ~ Talented bunch of people and I really enjoyed them. An open, un-bias mind with the ability to absorb information like a dry sponge. How refreshing ~ They had an ego, sure ~ but had such great control of it and it rarely shown through. ~ When you" know" something ~ there's not fight needed to defend. ~ and they knew alot! It's unbelievable such people exist. ~ Professional students. Some of them taught as well. ~

When we speak of such things a "complicated" ~ I think about Christmas time and having to assemble all the children's toys ~ And heaven forbid if I have to read the instructions that some academian wrote to tell me how to do it! ~ Now that's my idea of complicated!

If a person has left his last lover when she was sick or down and out ~ that's not complicated ~ He just don't want to tell you all the story.

Or you lost your job, home and in the end , family over dirty urine, that's not complicated. They just can't tell you the whole story , because it's incriminating.

We have a lots of things in life we like to call "complicated" it a toy of words.

I got a great e-mail today, let me see if I can retrieve ~ it's a wonderful example of playing with the truth and words.


1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is


' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

(Loved this one!)


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so I see "complicated" is used as more of a way to avoid spontaneous disclosure.

But I'll accept it ! ~~ I really don't what to go there either. I enjoy the "here" & "now" best of all. ~ what we did yesterday is only as important as you have made it.

Dance
 easy2like
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 215
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten your ego giro?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:56:05 AM
Wow and gosh you really really told me !!! Used every unnecessary polysyllabic word you could drum up just to show me that you aren't pompous and foolish. Even though most of the words chosen aren't even applicable. AND it shows that you have a dictionary and a thesaurus -- double WOW!!

Sort of like the girl who cursed and struck a wall to show that she wasn't ill-tempered.

You were much easier to bait than expected -- thanks. Proves my point.

Very good -- proved my point for me in one setting.

Thanks. Now about your therapy schedule . . .

PS -- I read your reply and I am convinced that you are in need of help and on that I am not joking. Get help soon.
 Andrew Wiggen
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 216
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten your ego giro?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:46:14 AM

Wow and gosh you really really told me !!! Used every unnecessary polysyllabic word you could drum up just to show me that you aren't pompous and foolish. Even though most of the words chosen aren't even applicable.


I swear this is something I always wanted to point out about a lot of the terminology being plagiarized around here. I see so many terms utilized out of context and inappropriately for nothing more than use by a poster who wishes to be perceived a certain way. Namely myself.<---take it any way you wish.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 217
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten your ego giro?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:12:05 AM
Andrew: I think you misunderstand my sarcastic tounge in cheek "jerk" comments. I'm a jerk to those that deserve it. You're a jerk because you're arrogant enough to think you have the capacity to question intelligence levels of others just because they don't see things your way. The way you go off on people with crazed tantrums in other threads with disconected rambling and bad sentence structure shows some nutty anger issues in my opinion but that doesn't have anything to do with your actual intelligence level. You could be very smart. That isn't really something that can be judged from forum posts and I would be a complete jerk at heart if I was arrogant enough to think I could make that call.
 TopChuck
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 218
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:48:39 AM

I -am- an idiot.


I didn't say, nor intend to imply that you are an idiot, robert. It takes more than disagreeing with me to qualify for that title.

Op's personality doesn't negate the value of the question he asked, either.

Complex men and women probably enjoy each other and aren't intimidated.

But my thrust is and has been (sounds erotic?) that it's not characteristics we love in relationships. It's being loved and loving. To suggest that admiration is at the core of relationships is to miss the essence.

We meet admirable people constantly, who we may get to know, but don't love. It takes loving interaction to feel that connection of loving we seek.

I was hopeful of awakening that realization in the Op; that's all.

Now that I think about it, loving first and then realizing that the person one loves has a complicated personality, might get either or both past feeling intimidated by the "greatness" of the other person. It's probably the same if we realize we're loving a "human dud".

"You don't love someone because they're perfect.", Picnic, by Inge.

.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 219
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 12:56:47 PM
The man who is intelligent yet secretly wishes to be a jerk, or the jerk who secretly wishes he was intelligent. Loose loose either way.


"loose loose" applies to sloppy bandaging jobs, livestock that has found an open gate or broken fence, women who lack morals and therefore, probably the condition of their...never mind!
LOSE LOSE, on the other hand, would seem to be an accurate assessment of much to do with Adventures in Modern Dating.
Because there DOESN'T seem to be a nice middle ground of reasonably intelligent men with no aspirations to jerkdom and a functional fear of God, which the Bible tells us is the BEGINNING of wisdom. Oh, I have no doubt they are out there but they may be rapidly approaching "endangered species" status.

why the hell would he expect a woman or any other person, male or female to understand him

wise women don't try to understand men. They simply decide whether a particular man is one they could HAPPILY not understand. It doesn't have a damn thing to do with ego.

Undoubtedly, the human species has been far more interesting than the species into which I was intended to have been born.

Dude, as someone who is firmly convinced that in a previous life she was a 1959 black DeSoto named Edwina, I feel your pain.

It just seems to me a lot of the women I've met have a low tolerance for anything out of the ordinary personality-wise and lose patience with me rather quickly. I am becoming alarmed at the lopsided ratio of the number of women I'm "meeting" versus the number of women I'm "keeping". Anyone else male or female have this experience ?

Yup. But I think the lopsided meeting/keeping thing sort of goes with the territory.
I'm willing to make some concessions to "fitting in", but not to the extent of becoming a carbon copy sheeple woman. I can't imagine may things more distressing than waking up boring one fine morning, just for the dubious edification of having another man in my life.

And face it kids, for the past week I've been your indulgent Pied Piper, haven't I? You may have hated me, but you've danced to my tune the entire time, you've immortalized me for the life of the thread, and what more could any artist ask for?

Dude, are you FOR REAL? Artist? Wise artists want people to LIKE at least some of their work, so they can pay the bills and keep doing whatever it is they call art.

Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/23/2009 1148 PM


But I don't think you've got the guts to handle that kind of fire. That's why good leaders are in such short supply. It's lonely at the top. And face it kids, for the past week I've been your indulgent Pied Piper, haven't I? You may have hated me, but you've danced to my tune the entire time, you've immortalized me for the life of the thread, and what more could any artist ask for?


Oh my Gawd...I...I think you're right OP! You ARE MY personal Pied Piper. I've been a whirling dervish, eagerly awaiting any and every drop of wisdom you prepare to impart upon us unwashed masses here in POF land.

I don't think I've EVER fell this deeply in lust with such an ego. You...you make my heart flutter OP.

I eagerly await further instruction oh mighty Pied Piper....
AFL, hang on girlfriend. Let me run across the street to the church and borrow their portable defibrillator device! We'd hate to lose you now!

will accuse you of having a mental illness or needing medication.

Interesting, that you, OP, introduce this idea, because your posts read like the manic phase of bipolar depression.

Oddly enough that same thought sorta stumbled across my mind,too. I believe I recall mentions of ADD and Asperger's as well. None of which make the OP bad or unloveable, but before he ascribes his less than spectacular dating/relationship experiences to a superior intellect/threatened ego disconnect, he might want to accept HIS part in how this is SO not working for him, and shut off the blamethrower.

It's being loved and loving. To suggest that admiration is at the core of relationships is to miss the essence.

NO LIE!! I do think that MUTUAL admiration can be a great help in conducting a romantic relationship, it certainly can't be the driving force.

but that doesn't have anything to do with your actual intelligence level. You could be very smart.

Its been my experience and observation having spent 50+ years on the planet, that serious anger management problems are more likely to occur, (outside of brain injury/dementia cases) with very smart-or dumb-people.

OP, my guess would be that maybe you come off as an egghead with ADD or HFA, maybe, and it's not that women's egos are threatened,it's probably just that they don't GET you. What you may have to go for is a middle ground between being a bit more ordinarily intelligent,and realizing that you might be something of an acquired taste and not appealing to every average Jane in the street.
Cindy O
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 220
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:21:22 PM
I will give giroditalia kudos for staying with his thread and answering posts. How many times have we seen people start a thread then go missing in action?

Mo
 Cori1970
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 221
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:40:25 PM
Not mine, and I have to say I disagree with most of the posts I have read on this particular thread. I personally am attracted and intrigued by difference. Age , looks no longer matter when attention is captured in such a way.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 222
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:41:07 PM

And then I will draw sustenance and credibility from the fact that 256 "Stepford Wives" (and one or two "Stepford Husbands") on this thread will agree with everything I've said about you. Bet that'll just make your day.


wow... just.. wow.


I was not one of those attacking or defending, jsut saying i understood sometimes being misunderstood and suggesting tailoring your communication approach to who you're speaking with so you can hear and understand each other.

but in my previous post I had put relatability, as I had frequently been called a Renaissance woman as well, and know we can come across as odd when having that many passions and interests.

Can I take that back? If being a renaissance person is speaking to people like your post above does," I want to find a different word. :)

(but then one of my interests is people; and trying to know where they're coming from, and finding the good and the special and the beauty under the masks, the thorns and the baggage... and that's done by listening, and giving people the benefit of the doubt ; not looking at a bunch of strangers and calling them stepford wives you use sarcasm and profanity and vulgarity and disrespect.)

Might I respectfully suggest, OP, that you try and, while not taking things personally, glean what you can from what you read? Some are smack first ask questions later, but there were some legitimate answers in here... or at least nuggets. If you didn't care what people thought, why did you ask their opinion, and then lash otu at them for telling you their answers? Just tone down the response; and you might get the dialogue you are wishing for, maybe?

Peace :)
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 223
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:49:26 PM

If you didn't care what people thought, why did you ask their opinion, and then lash otu at them for telling you their answers? Just tone down the response; and you might get the dialogue you are wishing for, maybe?


This may also be the reason for not being able to maintain relationships with the women you meet. Again, it boils down to communication abilities, no matter the level of intelligence or complications of your personality (self-assessed or real). Because of your possible "complicated personality" perhaps you might consider some type of course in effective communication skills. That's not a put down at all - sometimes we are unaware of how we communicate with others and the affects it has on others, ie. turning them completely off from an otherwise interesting person.
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 224
Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:58:52 PM
It just seems to me a lot of the women I've met have a low tolerance for anything out of the ordinary personality-wise and lose patience with me rather quickly.

well if you're a true renaissance man, as you say, then it should be self-evident that you can't expect the hoi polloi, the rabble, and the great unwashed to live up to your eclectically elevated standards. you have been accused of being arrogant in numerous places on this thread. i don't know whether that's true or not, but obscure references to proust with quick segues to existentialism or maybe even korzybski's semantic reactions and whatnot over a hamburger and some cleavage are not date conversation material unless you phrase it "just right". i mean come on, you have to build the back story! you can't just jump right into that shit! it's obvious you don't know how to do that because communication is the results you get.
 Barnacle Bill
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 225
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Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:00:36 PM
I'm not so sure the question goes with the description of the problem. My experience is that healthly women are very keen on figuring out BS when they see it. I have to question your meaning of "keeping". Is it that you keep them at home as a hostage? Or that you can't keep them engaged in conversation?

Women like to talk, we on the other hand don't listen well. We can act like we do, but let's get real we really don't listen. Until I can put my ego away and just let them see who I am, then I listen. But before this can happen, she has to have the ability to listen also.

But to answer your question, no, I'm not in agreement.
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