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 TallDarkPassionate
Joined: 5/13/2009
Msg: 26
women as pure sexual objectsPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You are not going to like this answer.

Because 80% of the guys have already figured out that they aren't going to be interested in you for a relationship, for whatever their reasons, but aren't opposed to just having sex if you are up for it.

If it was someone else, a woman who they could see themselves actually involved with, then they wouldn't bring up the sex thing so quick.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 27
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:40:08 AM
forgive me for not reading all the replies but to answer the original post..

if he bought you an expensive dinner first, would it still make you a cheap slut if you slept with him??
 big22blue
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 28
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:44:48 AM
you'd be suprised how many times it is the other way around. We can fumble around and all of a sudden someone is in your lap.
 big22blue
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 29
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:45:52 AM
Rain, I love reading your posts. You should have one of those columns in the newspaper. short sweet and to the point. at least if you get a meal you're not completely wasting your time.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 30
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:51:20 AM
After 5 minutes, we've probably introduced ourselves to each other and are no longer strangers! I almost never initiate a conversation about sex on the first date or two, but I've found that women often will, and if they like me will often want to do more than just talk about it.

I like a little buildup to having sex, so have often found myself in the odd position of trying to slow things down! Many women don't follow their own rules - unless they don't like the guy.
 jolee1155
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 31
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:57:50 AM
I'm a man, and I fantasize about being a woman's sexual object. Probably most men and women at times want to feel that way. It voids responsibility: "She/he made me do it. I was just a sex object/slave." We all feel embarrassed and guilty about sex, and being powerless let's us really kick back, relax, and enjoy it. I wish that women would be bolder in this age of women's equality. Most things that turn us on stem from childhood fears and crises, and sex temporarily neutralizes then. So it's all psychological sex play. Being treated as a sex object by a loving partner, with whom one shares the day-to-day "normal" experiences, is just a spicy-hot way of enjoying each other.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 32
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 12:50:36 PM

We all feel embarrassed and guilty about sex, and being powerless let's us really kick back, relax, and enjoy it.


HUH??

sex never renders us powerless unless bondage is involved and either you like it or its illegal. Which could make us feel guilty or embarrassed I suppose (ponders)



If I had that special someone in my life, I would be his adoring sex object anytime he wanted . Hmm I would probably be his "cheap slut" too..
 Isobel135
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 33
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:03:45 PM

All you gotta do is clean your pipes before the date. Twice if your 20-25. It happens to most guys, unless they get laid enough already.
A very pragmatic approach to dating.

OP you've just come out of a 41 yr marriage and have separated status. You're vulnerable whether you choose to believe it or not. You'll need to re-learn to be happy by yourself first and to love yourself before you're ready to dive back into another relationship. Just saying....take it for what it's worth. Free advice on a singles dating site. I personally would surround myself with friends who will emotionally support you instead of trying to find your self esteem on a dating website. You may have more success with the former.

Good Luck.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 34
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:46:43 PM
its called networking, probibly 5% of the guys are making really indecent proposals to 1000 women whether in person or via the computer (knowing one or two are going to go for it)
years ago one of my roommates cousins used to continually drag women over to our house. -he was scrawny and nowhere in the looks dept. -however i would watch in dismay as he would make his way through the bar asking every girl in there if she wanted to go home with him and suck his d**k, -unbelieveably he would get a taker -usually slutty, gross or ewwwww type of women, however he got results.
 mysticfox
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 35
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 2:08:26 PM
Lol I dont know if im unlucky or luky tbh cos this dont happen to me lol x
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 36
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:36:48 PM
Msg: 1, WERE I to date you, it would be BECAUSE I had a sexual
interest in you. That SHOULD be UNDERSTOOD. I'm not as crude with the
subject matter as your previous experience seems to indicate, but I
will NOT date a woman UNLESS I have a sexual interest in her. I would
ask YOU out on a date BECAUSE of that interest, even though everything
on the SURFACE would simply be dinner and drinks.

The WOMAN'S **DUTY** is to UNDERSTAND this interaction. Yes, I said
****DUTY****. She accepts OR rejects the request for a date BASED on
this DUTY. If she rejects, she discharges that duty. If she ACCEPTS,
she renews that duty.

In MY "Imaginary World", if a woman accepts the proposal for a date,
she ALSO accepts the possibility of sexual activity. The DATE is
simply a mechanism to ASSESS such possibility.

Again, in my "Imaginary World", I EXPECT a response to my overture,
either positive or negative. If I detect the possibility of a positive
response, I will pursue what I consider to be a viable relationship.
If, however, I detect NEGATIVITY she will never hear from me again.

I NEVER **FORCE** or **IMPOSE** myself on ANY woman. If I sense the
need to do that to fulfill my desires then she is a WASTE of my time.

The expression of my desire for deeper intimacy is a request. Her
subsequent behavior becomes her response, which, if it is LESS than
enthusiastic AUTOMATICALLY **TERMINATES** any further interaction I
will have with her. My request was SENT. Her reply was RECEIVED. That,
in itself, SHOULD **TERMINATE** the nauseous bargaining procedure.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 37
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 3:47:33 PM
Starregeezer, I think the difference in how many (if not most) women's perspective differs from yours, is that women see sex as an augementation, or by product, of the relationship itself. The relationship is the goal and the sex is hopefully a happy benefit to both. You appear to have sex as the goal, and hold that as the essence of the relationship.

The only DUTY I would hold to my partner, is to be open, honest, loving, communicative, supportive and be me! My duty could never be an outlet for his sexual expression. I would consider loving sexual exchanges as our gift....to each other.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:25:05 PM
All you gotta do is clean your pipes before the date. Twice if your 20-25.

I agree with this, even for women - if you don't have pipes, substitute above advice for "take the edge off". The way you do this is your choice, and your business. No one should go on a date with raging hormones. It runs you the risk of not using your common sense. It's no more productive than going to the supermarket starving with an unlimited spending budget.

will not lie I like sex, but to me I wait for the woman to so interest in sex.I would not mind a woman that only wanted sex for sure.

There's a shocker! lol
 js6seaj
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 39
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 4:29:23 PM
I will not lie I like sex, but to me I wait for the woman to so interest in sex. I would not mind a woman that only wanted sex for sure.
 Mxchic
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 40
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 7:51:30 PM

mumbling to myself] must not ask about her rates...


heeeheeheeheeeheee too funny!

what was the original question.....men wanting sex right off the bat? Duh! Hello, dear old dad told me about this phenom way back when I was 16! Experience hasn't proven him wrong!
 New and Improved!
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 41
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:01:18 PM
Has no one ever seen the movie "Something about Mary"???
Guys!!! You are going out there with a loaded gun!!! Take care of that before your date and IT is not an issue!!! ;-)
Besides, she might need the 'hairgel'
 emruld
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 42
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:03:13 PM
oh i belive 80 percent of men do this.. because as soon as they get my msn.. thats one of the first questions..... even tho. in my profile i put im not interested or ready for this... and even had that i was into women for my next relationship so.. go figure eh
 Kelli.K.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 43
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 8:28:31 PM
I find that the way in which one handles themself, by the way they speak, to the way in which they carry themselves and dress, usually determines how a man responds to her. I rarely if ever get a man that is rude right out off the bat, but when I do, (maybe 4 to 6%) it's only because he doesn't know me.
Maybe 80% of the men you meet do this...perhaps evaluate what signals your sending out and possibly change them if you find this statistic bothersome. Men will treat you the way that you let them, or even the way they assume you will let them.
 dontbreaktheoath
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 44
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:09:19 PM
Because guys are guysand can be sluts too!!. But girls can be the same way too so can't knock the guys too much.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 45
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:34:22 PM

Because guys are guysand can be sluts too!!.


Yep. I'm a slut. Hey, if everyone just outed themselves and admitted it, then there would be a yellow ribbon around each tree in this forest, and all the sting would be forever taken out of that word.

OP, my theory is that, of all the personal things men might discuss with a new female acquaintance, sex is probably the one he feels most confident about. It's his strength, and for that reason alone, wants to show it to you. So, the bull takes a run at you. Just step deftly to one side as he charges past you, maybe wave a red banner in his face to work him into a lather, and let him charge again. Repeat, and at some point, when you're still standing there, he'll get winded. Then, you can safely approach and talk with him. About almost anything.
btw, toreadors get to wear snappy flashy outfits with jewels on them and stuff. And the bull never wins. Try cunning instead of outrage, and you can bag the bull. He might, just might, be worth it, under the initial bravado.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 46
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:58:01 PM

Msg: 37 -- The relationship is the goal and the sex is hopefully a
happy benefit to both.


I agree, in part, but when ONE in the relationship has a negative
regard for sex, do you REALLY expect it to last for long?

I think the term "FRIGID" applies EQUALLY to man or woman. I have seen
"FRIGID" complaints from BOTH genders, which tells me that sex could
be FAR more than perhaps a mere "happy benefit".



Msg: 39 -- I will not lie I like sex, but to me I wait for the woman
to so interest in sex. I would not mind a woman that only wanted sex
for sure.


I do the same. I think most women have grown bored of sexual
expression from men, so I limit it to simply asking for a date and
leave the rest for her. If she fails to show interest I know she is
wrong for me.
 girliegirl76
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 47
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:47:09 PM
no it's not exaggerated i have received about 23 messages since yesterday and 17 of them had sexual innuendos
 Oceanview111
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 48
women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:58:03 PM
Come on 80%? Really? I find that figure really out there; granted I've only been on maybe 5 first dates; and 2 second dates, and one third from this site in the last year. My percentage of any of them asking me if I "Do sex on the first date" (Juvenile) is a big fat zero! And the "
i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this" Wow; I did not know that having sex on a first date made you a "Cheap Slut"! If the chemistry is there, you are both consenting adults, why put a time frame on it? Seriously, "lighten up", and "live a little!" I have to agree the Europeans say it best, we American's are simply put Too Prudent, and uptight about sex. It's not supposed to be that complicated, nor is it required to have strings attached because you do have sex with someone. This reminds me too much of High School "Good Girl" vs "Bad Girl"; or maybe I should say what "Cheap Slut" vs "Expensive Slut"? LOL
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 49
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:10:23 PM
OP: Put some verbiage in your profile which makes it clear that you're looking for a friend/companion for activities right now. There's nothing wrong with stating in your profile that that's as far as you want to go right now. Otherwise, you're going to have to deal with overtures constantly. That's the nature of dating and it's not going to change. Be clear about what you want and screen guys well.

EDIT: It looks like you did mention seeking friendship in your profile. Put that verbiage in bold and go from there.
 2HEDZ
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 50
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women as pure sexual objects
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:34:45 AM

why is it thta 80 percent of men say they are okay getting to know you and within five minutes go into the do you do sex on first meeting i am not aqgainst sex but i am no cheap slut what are other veiws on this


whats wrong with asking that question? if the answer is no and the guy ditches you then he did you a favor. maybe the guy just wants to know if you're a rude or not i mean having sex on the first date doesnt mean you're a slut, cheap or otherwise.

i'm all for bluntness when it comes to asking questions on a date. why wait until three or four dates have gone by only to find out your date isnt what you're looking for?
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