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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:23:42 PM | Thank you for your interesting observation regarding female profiles on POF. I wish I had the title of clinical psychologist so that I might analyze why I have been rejected by many guys over the last 36 months - many I've lost count.  It probably had something to do with the fact that they didn't find me attractive.
But then ... I have done my share of rejecting - so I think I'll analyze that. After all, I have a heck of a lot more insight into my own behavior than that of everyone else.
First, I would reject a guy who lied about his age, even if he admitted it (without admitting his real age) with the excuse "oh, POF won't let me change it and I am just too lazy to redo my profile so it's right" - because creating a profile on POF takes about ... 3 minutes, less if you cut and paste your "about me" from the incorrect profile.
Next, I eliminate guys who say "age doesn't matter ... " and then limit the age of the woman they want to something significantly younger than they are. This is especially true if they also state "everybody says I look younger than my age" and the pics they have up suggest very poor eyesight on the part of "everybody". Or perhaps loyalty. Or courtesy.
I reject men who demonstrate tendencies toward negativity in their profile, in any postings they may make, who say things like "all" or "always" or "never" while analyzing women's behavior.
Ok, I think that pretty well sums me up as a "rejector". :) | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/16/2009 6:48:05 PM | Pro filer total accolades for your post..
First, I would reject a guy who lied about his age, even if he admitted it (without admitting his real age) with the excuse "oh, POF won't let me change it and I am just too lazy to redo my profile so it's right" - because creating a profile on POF takes about ... 3 minutes, less if you cut and paste your "about me" from the incorrect profile.
Next, I eliminate guys who say "age doesn't matter ... " and then limit the age of the woman they want to something significantly younger than they are. This is especially true if they also state "everybody says I look younger than my age" and the pics they have up suggest very poor eyesight on the part of "everybody". Or perhaps loyalty. Or courtesy.
I reject men who demonstrate tendencies toward negativity in their profile, in any postings they may make, who say things like "all" or "always" or "never" while analyzing women's behavior
Yes, don't you love guys who think dating someone their own age is out of the question, because she is TOO OLD... However they have deluded themselves into thinking they are all that and a box of cookies when hitting on younger women... Then are totally dismayed that the woman rejected them, because they lied about their age...
I also agree for those that say AGE doesn't matter, really seems to mean, yes I am older, but I want what I want, and that is that fresh young meat, that will take on someone that is near their daddies age, and in the next 5 to 10 yrs will have to be changing MY diapers, and wiping the droll off my face...
I don't mind so much if a person is delusional enough to think they look 20 yrs younger, however I do have a problem when they want ME to agree...
So lets create the woman profile that says what the OP wants...
Wanting some older guy, because age doesn't matter... I don't mind if you have lied about your age, and now can't change it, because once again age is only a number, and we are all gonna die right??? Doesn't matter that the guy of my dreams has a foot in the edge of his grave...
Want some one without a sense of humor, after all laughter is over rated, and it is stated that people who laugh will live longer, however why bother living longer... So skip the humor thing, I don't need the laughter in my life...
Do want someone that does have a steady stable income, because as a woman I want security, and stability, also please make it a point to have a really nice life insurance policy, once again since I am young, and women live longer, I want to know I will be able to travel after your old carcass is hauled off in a wooden box...
This is a biggy, looking for someone that wants to control me with their superior knowledge, being a damaged female, I can't make decisions on my own that are healthy, and for my best well being. After all lets face it, I am a damaged woman, with major wounds from past abuse...
Please be someone that my religious ideals clash with, because since age will hinder sex, the next best things would be arguing points of religious contention... It is a great sport, and of course I would concede in the end that you are right...
One thing that is most important, is that I need a man that will tell me how wonderful I am, because as a shallow, mushy, damaged headed woman, I need to be assured repeatedly I am the best thing you have ever met...
Please contact me, because as an old fashioned, well raised woman, I can't contact you, that would be totally unlady like... | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 28 | |
| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 3:12:20 AM |
Yes, don't you love guys who think dating someone their own age is out of the question, because she is TOO OLD... However they have deluded themselves into thinking they are all that and a box of cookies when hitting on younger women...
Hmmm... What if I'm not "all that" but I AM the box of cookies? What does that get me?  | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 3:43:04 AM | They ALL WANT someone younger than themselves ("becasue all my friends tell me how ravishingly beautiful and young-looking I am") - Having someone younger (if it ever happens!) boosts their EGO and gives them a (false) sense of "power" over the relationship...
LOL...project much?
You've got your own age limit set for "under 55." I'm under 55 but you look incredibly old to me, I wouldn't be interested at all in you. While I agree that there's alot of 'broken' people in this age bracket because you don't live to be 50 or 60 without experiencing some heartbreak in your past, it's not exclusive only to women.
You mention that people have told you that you look 20 years younger than your real age - was that said by the Harley motorcycle salesman trying to get you to buy a bike? I'm a firm believer in bringing to the table the same thing you want in a partner. Being very honest, you kind of look like Burl Ives, yet you expect a youthful looking woman to be interested in you. How's that working for you? Oh yeah, I guess with 1,800 rejections, it's not. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:23:14 AM |
I AM the box of cookies?
Though it was a chocolate..Or, I am all that and a bag of chips..Oh, well...
was that said by the Harley motorcycle salesman trying to get you to buy a bike?
What are you saying???? | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:17:45 AM | Op,please throw away your magic mirror and admit to being well into your 60's...............yet,you want a woman Under 55.......
Please...............................be realistic and stop aiming so "high".......come back down to earth.
Oh,and for ever woman who's been hurt in the past,there's a man who has also been hurt/damaged.........we dont all come with a travel shop full of baggage,
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:37:34 AM | What is wrong OP, seems to be more you than it does those you are trying to contact.
First and foremost, if you are educated to the masters level, and a clinical psychologist, you would be able to spell and use grammar more succinctly. Those of us that have attained that higher level of education, have written many papers, letters, and put thoughts down on paper with some form of logic, correctness, and ease of reading.
The next part is the hard one for you to maybe understand, but I will try and do it as politely as possible........
Maybe the women are rejecting you one after the other, because you are searching for those that you do not meet the criteria for, and even though lofty, you are shooting for the stars when you can not even light the fuse.......
Face the facts, dear sir...........You are overweight, bald, average to less than average looking, in your 60's, and seeking only those younger than you are..... Is there any other reason that so many are not considering you a viable choice?
You can list all those things that you THINK, but the reality is in the mirror, and I suggest that you work on that first before placing the blame on women that use this site for potentials.
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:46:54 PM | | At the risk of being uncharacteristically brutal, OP, based on your perspectives here, I suspect the real reason you are a FORMER Clinical Psychologist is that you weren't giving very good assistance to your clients, due to your own skewed beliefs and biases. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:05:42 AM | | hahaha WOW..!! - Well THAT was fun wasn't it boys and girls?? .... all the amateur armchair critics were in their glory..! IF indeed there is no substance to my previous obvservations - I WONDER WHY - the same female faces and profiles are on these dating sites for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS - PROVING that these females either have endless "excuses" for AVOIDING a relationship. Why they are ON a dating site, I don't know... | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:03:26 AM | Let me help everyone out. We all have been rejected and hurt. Internet dating sites like POF allows everyone to be in some kinda of control which probably something that was missing in their relationship.
Rejection keeps us going. Think of it like this. If every time you went to the basketball court and you attempted to make a shot and no matter what you did the ball went in; How long would you play until you got bored and stop playing. Rejection keeps up coming back so we can tune our skills.
Ladies keep rejecting because, I never take it personal and you have saved my time and my money. Thanks! | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:18:21 AM | | Here's a tip OP: Women don't like to be analyzed by a potential dating partner. Maybe THAT is why you're being rejected. Maybe you're being unreasonable and demanding right off the bat. I actually had to check your profile to make sure you weren't a guy I chatted with when first on POF. On the face of things, he met everything I wanted, but he was rude and demanding. So, I stopped responding to him. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:37:07 AM | OP, I have been in a relationship for a year now... Took us a year on POF to find each other (ok him two months, I was here first).
So does that make A typical, or are you going to tell me I have commitment issues because I come and do forums????
What is not in a womans profile usually...
1. Not looking for a sour puss, that isn't honest about his age.
2. Must be in an age bracket that we can related to each others youth, and current stage of life.
3. Wants someone that is willing to take a risk on a woman a few years older than herself.
4. Must be looking for a relationship that is not LD.
5. Wants a guy with a healthy relationship, and doesn't over analyze who I am.
6. Wants someone that doesn't view woman as broken because they have had broken relationships in the past...
I can go on all day, but I won't... I have to wonder about the men down under sometimes, unless you are this one kid, or his Grandfather that about 6 mo ago, wrote a rant pretty much the same as yours about how women are too picky, feel entitled to have someone over them  Seen the same faces on here for years and years...
As someone who is sliding her minor to more of a major in psychology, this rant does NOT sound like a clinical psychologist, but rather one of us arm chair shrinks...
The difference is most of us know we are handing out opinions, and how it is taken is up to the poster as to whether they like what we have to say or not...
I am on here STRICTLY for the forums... They are great practice in learning about different abnormal psychology, as well as a lot of fun... I have met some really cool people through the forums, and my SO and I sit on the bed together as he plays Mafia wars, and I do home work or come to the forums...
I'll probably be here for a long time, because it is educational, and cathartic to see different ideas, or issues that people struggle with, but in RL apparently don't have someone to share their hurts with...
If some women don't want to be in a relationship then so what??? Being single is not a disease, and certainly is NOT an indicator that a woman has broken wings... Really would you like to have some illogical label slapped on you simply because you aren't with someone???
Here's an arm chair shrink pointer for ya, and it has been stated before, but if something makes sense to a large group, then perhaps it IS worth trying...
How about raising YOUR age limit to say 5 yrs about your real age... Perhaps then you will find less no's and a few more yes. Other wise it is like complaining that you never get picked to play football for the HS football team... You aren't in the age range as these younglings are... Your choice, perhaps YOU are projecting your own fears of finding someone compatible, and certainly make it a point to have AGE as an issue to you...
Meh, I am just saying... | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:03:26 AM | | Based on this assumption I need to get off this site. I have not been hurt, rejected, or damaged. Some woman have choosen to be single! I felt ready to date again and found this world had changed. I thought the internet was the way to meet men. Just let me say all my ex's are or were wonderful men! I am still not sure just what it is I left out of my profile, so if you get a chance read it and let me know. Thanks | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:40:00 AM | What you are doing wrong is:
(1) Your profile may sort of let someone know that you have certain qualities that person wants, but it's written in a way that's rather uninteresting to read and doesn't give any hints about your personality. You don't have to describe yourself in the driest, most obvious way possible. Use some imagination to write something that stands out.
(2) You might have an unrealistic expectation of how many replies you should receive relative to the number of messages you send out. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:51:16 AM | | first off.. nice paintings! second.. everyone has theyre personal taste.... maybe you do have everything they want... but.. maybe they want someone younger? thinner? heavier? with blond hair? everyone has theyre own preference in what theyre attracted to... ive seen some 62 year old men who do look 10 years younger... hell ones a good freind of mine visits a few times a week... would i date him? maybe... if he wasnt married.. woudl i want to get married prob not.. his life and mine dont mesh that way... i dont ride a harley. never will... maybe youd be better off searching for women on here based on there interests... not age... but still keep it within 5 years up or down... or... even older up.... after all.. women do live longer than men ;) and.. ive seen some good looking 70 year old women! | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:55:09 PM | OP, are you addressing me???
No I don't need a man to give me accolades... And I certainly don't run around telling people how wonderful I am... HOWEVER I do find your sour grapes as a sad statement when you are telling women they are broken winged birds...
If you want people to have interest in you, you have to be willing to open yourself up to REALLY not seeing age as a issue yourself...
We all have likes and dislikes, as well as what we see as a criteria to have a good relationship...
When you go public and give a sweeping generalization of what is wrong with women, you ruffle feathers, and will get a lash back as to what MAY be wrong with you...
I can assure you there is A LOT that is not in most peoples profiles... Whether it be that they imbibe in pot, or their real age, or that they really are lazy bums looking for someone to take care of them...
If you have a truly broken winged bird, they will with out a doubt have that in there profile, which usually says no game players, (or some variations) please be kind I have been hurt enough) no liars, abusers, drunks, et al... Men will also say the same thing, which is perfectly clear in their profile...
Things people can't put into writing is their VIEW, of what the perfect partner looks like in their minds eye. Thus you will get descriptions that could fit any person, that have the same words, but these words are limiting...
If I have to much confidence, well doubtful, because I too carry my own carry on baggage of a life lived, but it has been years of work...
Sorry you find my jests as offensive, however I find your observations as short sighted, and in general a case of bitter grapes... Perhaps you will find more success if you open up your age limit and entertain the idea that women your own age may have just as much to give as someone younger, Just a thought...
Cheers | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:11:12 PM | EVERY female on here has been very badly "hurt" in some way - by men.
False = lie. LIFE (including my own self) has "hurt" me OP - it wasn't men. Don't like your fellow men much do ya OP? Or perhaps you felt the need to shoot a few men down in order to bolster yourself up?? Or I know - maybe you thought you could shoot down BOTH gender in one shot huh??
Let's see - men are bad and women are even badder aka stupid for going after the bad men.....typical nice guy/bad boy oh look at me I'm the only nice guy left and all you bad wimminzs go for them bad bad men wha wha wha. Bravo OP...you just killed two birds with the proverbial stone! 
They ALL want "someone the make me laugh" - false = lie.
They ALL want a "soulmate" - false = lie.
even though most would'nt have a CLUE what one actualy is! - false = lie. I know what a soul mate is - I don't believe in it - know and appreciate the difference between having a clue and having a BELIEF.
They ALL WANT someone younger than themselves - false = lie. Just because I don't/wouldn't want a man that looks old enough to be my father and who lies/is delusional about his weight/body type doesn't mean I want someone younger than me. You do know what a fallacy is don't you OP?
Having someone younger (if it ever happens!) <------ couldn't resist that little condensending remark could you Mr. Clinical Psychologist? Well guess what, for some of us, it does happen. Get over it.
("becasue all my friends tell me how ravishingly beautiful and young-looking I am")
Hahahaha. So...us (older?) females are all running around telling each other how ravishlingly and young looking we look huh?
*reminds herself to get herself some damn girlfriends*
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:46:56 AM | To Dear Msg 43.......YOU WROTE to me>> ...... "(2) You might have an unrealistic expectation of how many replies you should receive relative to the number of messages you send out.
Does a ratio of; "Time-wasters" = 1000 plus.....me = something like 6 sound about OK to you Msg 43.???? | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:44:08 AM | ALL us guys need to acknowledge that - almost without exception - EVERY female on here has been very badly "hurt" in some way - by men. (This is NOT a criticism girls!) - but the very reason you are ALL here, is that your previous relationships/marriages/de-factos - or even the death of a partner - has left you feeling abandoned - "damaged" - certainly hurting - empty - worthless - shattered - and it's very hard, after these episodes to "pick-oneself-up" and face the world confidently again. It takes gret courage, maturity and time... MOST people (male and female) have been hurt by our age true....but most women seek counselling and help more readily than men.... NOT ALL men... I have known many men who got help getting over their pain from past relationships, etc.... but it is not the norm.
SECURITY and DEPENDABILITY are two things that females most important to females. (or should be!) However they reflect their carried-over fears and experiences of past relationships Security? - not a chance!!! I long ago learned that the only one I can truly depend on is myself.... check above about being hurt in the past. HOWEVER.... that does not mean I am a cold-hearted b**ch - what it means is that I did the work on myself and have no problems being alone, if that is what the Universe has in store for me.... I have accepted the "possibility" of spending the rest of my life alone - just not the "probability". I would much rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
Dependability?... only so much that he shows up when he says he is going to, does what he says he will do and does not always leave me hanging.... I don't need another paycheck to sustain me.... I am doing quite well on my own in that department.
They ALL want "someone the make me laugh". (nice - but hardly a key ingredient in a sound relationship) Having been married for 20 yrs and in several relationships, I think you really messed up on this one - laughter is essential in life... it helps smooth out the rough spots - again see above about the pain we have all been through. Anyone who has been through much pain will tell you how they learned to laugh again.... their is a lot of strength in learning to laugh.
They ALL want a "soulmate" (even though most would'nt have a CLUE what one actualy is!) There have been tons of threads on soulmates here, and the one thing I learned from them - everyone has a different idea of what a "soul mate" is... and many don't even believe in such a thing.... so if you have been told that is why you are getting tons of rejections - I would say someone is telling you what they think you will hear.
If you live in what SHE considers to be a "socially challenged area or suburb" - you are UNLIKELY to get her to even reply! - UNLESS YOU "take" the relationship TO HER - and DROP YOUR perfectly good life and "tag-along " with her life, family and friends - AGAIN DOOMED to failure old chap!.....lol....(She wil ONLY consider srelationship PROVIDED she doesn't have to move or change a THING!.....lol...
Now this one is just downright hilarious - there was another thread in these forums how one guy posted that he had no place to take women he dated, and was it messing up his chances? The almost unanimous vote was YES!!! ... most women do NOT want to take you to their place, due to safety reasons and/or kids...... they WANT to know about your life - not tag you into theirs.... sorry, old chap, you got this one all "bass ackwards."
They ALL WANT someone younger than themselves ("becasue all my friends tell me how ravishingly beautiful and young-looking I am") - Having someone younger (if it ever happens!) boosts their EGO and gives them a (false) sense of "power" over the relationship.. Again, you might want to do some reading in the forums.... many women do not want to date younger men.... in fact, if you read in the posts from women who have dated younger men, you will quickly learn that the one thing dating a younger man does to a woman is challenge her ego and self-esteem.... it will bring out every insecurity you never knew you had. .... sorry, that "bass ackwards" machine is in your playground again.
BTW - I am really kind of glad to see you got out of the field of clinical psychology. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:05:18 AM | | I know that I am not a "great catch" if you are looking for looks or success in life. I just know I was blind-sided by a divorce back in 2007 and am trying to get life started again. I am overweight,(which I figure is the main reason no one answers me back) oh well, we can't be attractive to everyone. I just don't know if I want to keep embarassing myself by contacting people only to hear nothing back. I have even tried to put a positive spin on my profile. I may just call it quits..... | |
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