RMH_84
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Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 51 | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:37:35 PM |
EVERY female on here has been very badly "hurt" in some way - by men. (This is NOT a criticism girls!)
Odd. Every last one, eh? Maybe it's true of a lot of women, but it's a pretty lousy assumption to make.
ut the very reason you are ALL here, is that your previous relationships/marriages/de-factos - or even the death of a partner - has left you feeling abandoned - "damaged" - certainly hurting - empty - worthless - shattered - and it's very hard, after these episodes to "pick-oneself-up" and face the world confidently again.
Ok, this is getting really negative, really fast. It really isn't that hard to pick myself up and dust myself off.
They ALL want ....
Seriously.. don't speak for all women.
Generally.. most women put what they want in their profiles. Or they don't put much at all.. which is a common occurrence on this site for both genders. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:37:41 PM | I find it hard to believe you were ever in Clinical Psychology if these are your serious conclusions...
Not every girl on here has been badly hurt. Call me a Case Study, but I have not been badly traumatized by any man in my life. Perhaps your first problem is that you view all the women on here as damaged, needy goods that are just waiting to reject you, and treat them as such whether they present you evidence of that or not. I suggest you read some real studies on self-fulfilling prophecy. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:12:28 PM | ALL of you women I email better love me or else I will go off to my room stomping my feet along the way.
Like a little kid. How about asking the ladies to look at your profile and give some advice in the profile review section first.
Yes ALMOST everyone (90%) male or female has been hurt in past relationships.
Stop pointing the blame and start looking in the mirror. It is instinct to wonder "what the hell am I doing wrong" when your single and trying to date with no success (this applies to men and women).
Unless your so stuffed up your own a$$ that you cant breathe fresh air and see what it tastes like. This is typically the outcome | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:58:46 AM | Dude, did it take a degree in psychology for you to figure this out? Really? And do you really think you just described "women" here? You pretty much described every PERSON here. Probably yourself included. I don't think your "deductions" have anything to do with your alleged education nearly as much as they do with the amount of rejection you have had here. In other words, just another "sour grapes" post from yet another person who can't get the hotties they want, so there must be something wrong with all of THEM, because it certainly can't be you, right? You can't have them because THEY are somehow too "damaged" to see what a great catch you are. We ALLLLLLLLLLLL want someone younger? I don't want anyone younger than me. Again, you are speaking for yourself, and projecting. (oooh, I know psychology terminology.)
It sounds like your degree came from www.freepsychologydegree.com or something. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:04:01 AM | | Clambroth, looks aren't EVERYTHING, but they are the FIRST thing. No one, and I don't care how PC one wants to pretend to be, NO one wants to be with someone they aren't attracted to. If I find someone unattractive "to me," I would not pursue anything with them. And neither would anyone else, they just won't admit it. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:08:40 AM |
So, did they tell you that because you're a Clinical Psychologist that means you know every single thing about women? I mean, let's put aside the fact that every single human being is different and every single human being wants different things... But, really???
Apparently he was absent in "Everything There Is To Know About Women 101" class the day they covered the unit on "Knowing When To Keep Your Mouth (keyboard?)Shut: It Can Be Done." | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 60 | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:26:00 PM | As a supposed Clinical Psychologist you certainly do not do justice to your former profession. It's gender biased, and I expect more of an open mind from someone claiming a background as yours. What happened to a more egalitarian mode of thought?
A lot of people, not just women, or men, have been hurt in some way.
"here" You mean the internet, specifically a dating site? This is a microcosm of our society. These are the same people you meet in bars, in church, at the bus stop.
You know, I could go on, but you distress me- a former psychologist who hasn't sorted these most basic things out for himself. I question your credentials, and success in helping people find some sense of well-being, and worse- you give me pause: I had enough reason to doubt persons of your profession (and associated schools), but you take the cake.
Sorry, but, wow. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:43:15 PM | Gawd...it was wayyy too easy to get clinical Phd's back then....
OP...hold up a second here. Firstly, coming off by insulting ALL of the women on this site as being broken, bruised, tattered smithereens of personhood is not exactly going to win you brownie points with the ladies. Ya feelin' me? It's simply not true. There are many women here who are widows, some are just young and starting out, some are here because lo and behold, they are single again! Go figure! Oh sure...some of us have had the magic sucked out of our "love" sails and we are looking at things from a more jaded perspective but are you going to fault us for doing exactly what you just chose to do here?
You are in fact appearing jaded. Jaded by the rejections, so much so that you have resorted to all encompassing generalizations of an entire gender in order to demonstrate how much it hurts to still be alone past 60. How is this working for you so far? Any takers?
I didn't think so.
Okay, you are a "former" clinical psychologist (remember keyword former) but let's see if you remember a word that applies to you very much here...PROJECTION! So, let's see how it would fit if we put it back on the person who projected it and see if it fits...shall we?
1)YOU have been rejected over and over and over again. ALL your efforts have been thwarted...they have lacked significant interest in you.
2)YOU cannot speak for "all us guys"...but took it upon yourself to do so anyway creating an "us" against "them" mentality...ahem
3)EVERY time you put down females on this site, you get ZERO interest from them
4)YOU assume they ALL want a soulmate...NOT, some are here to get laid, some are here to find love, some are here to just date and some are here to just chat on forums...novel idea huh?
5)AGAIN DOOMED is exactly what this thread has given you...nada but more fuel for your anger at these 1000 Knock-Backs you are smarting from.
6)YOU want someone younger than yourself because you are feeling old, rejected and lonely.
And you know what OP? It's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to feel resentful. It's okay to feel jaded and undervalued.
BUT YOUR APPROACH ISN'T WORKING!
P.S. You don't look 10 years younger let alone 20.
I would encourage you to look deep inside yourself and find your own denial. Good luck with that. And stick to gardening...I think you'll do less harm. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:09:21 PM | Insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly in the same way and expecting different results.
OP, you have a negative attitude towards women. You have to LIKE women if you want one of them to date you.
It seems to me that you are blaming everyone else rather than yourself for your dating problems. It's not the fault of 1000 women that you've constantly been rejected. It's solely your fault. Work on your attitude, social skills and approach and you'll probably have more luck. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:21:23 AM | I don't get it either; you certainly do have EVERYTHING I want in a guy.
You are such a charmer Op; I cannot begin to fathom why over 1000 rejections.
Believe me, it's not you, it's us. How can we not appreciate a guy who knows us so well and is not afraid to tell it like he sees it (and it is)? Then there are the photos of a guy with merely a few extra pounds; a bit shy about acknowledging actually overly plump?
Don’t give up….keep going after those of us that are just too lost to appreciate a sweet, nice guy. One day it will all change for you and you will find a full mail box.
Whatever you do though do not contact, older, larger, bitter women. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:52:42 PM | | You are generalizing about all females and I resent that. I don't fall into any of your catagories stated. I haven't been hurt. I dont require someone who makes me laugh, I don't want or believe in soulmates, I will fit into HIs life and not vice versa, and I do not require someone younger. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:01:20 PM | | Or maybe none of them were into you, why do you think every woman has to fall madly in love with you just because you offer a few decent human traits they are looking for? Everything except maybe for the one key factor, that elusive element no one seems to understand. So, blaming it on the fact that all women have been dumped on (as are men)and thats why they arent interested in you, is just the sour grapes. An internet dating site doesnt gaurantee meeting "the one". If it were that easy, we'd all be happy in love. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:23:24 PM | My uncle is an attorney in the north. He had an uncomfortable level of association with the tribulations that women can face with men. Maybe you've some of that - the situations you've encountered encourage empathy.
I won't go on about agreeing with the women as they've laid it low. On a positive side ---- well,. you seem to have some care for how things go on. I'm not sure its easy to understand this environment, grasp how its working. I'm finding some very strange biz myself that I'd like to ask questions about. Good luck with your quest. | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:16:26 PM | First, I would reject a guy who lied about his age, even if he admitted it (without admitting his real age) with the excuse "oh, POF won't let me change it and I am just too lazy to redo my profile so it's right" - because creating a profile on POF takes about ... 3 minutes, less if you cut and paste your "about me" from the incorrect profile.
Next, I eliminate guys who say "age doesn't matter ... " and then limit the age of the woman they want to something significantly younger than they are. This is especially true if they also state "everybody says I look younger than my age" and the pics they have up suggest very poor eyesight on the part of "everybody". Or perhaps loyalty. Or courtesy.
I reject men who demonstrate tendencies toward negativity in their profile, in any postings they may make, who say things like "all" or "always" or "never" while analyzing women's behavior
Yes. Indeed.
In all fairness to the OP, it may be true that some women specify certain requirements in their profile, but not others. For example, in my profile, I may not have mentioned that I need to find a guy who is physically attractive to ME. You know, I want to have the desire to rip his clothes off. The reason I do not mention it, and the reason why I surmise some others do not mention it, is because it SHOULD BE OBVIOUS!!! In addition to all the other "stuff" women and men want, we also want to "get" with someone that we find to be sexually attractive. Maybe you need to comb profiles for a woman who says, "Looks don't matter to me. At all." Unless a woman makes such a comment, assume she wants a good looking dude.
OP, out of the 1000 women who rejected you, how many of them were in their mid to late sixties and substantially overweight?
That, OP, is your "target rich" environment....people just like you! | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:40:16 PM | ahum... Dude.
Not ALL Women are the same,just as not all Men are.
True enough what your looking for is FEW,& FAR between,and unfortunatly as time rolls on the GOOD ones become fewer,and farther.
Regardless they're STILL out there,it's just a Mathmatical issue.
We used to do this thing in Landscaping,I believe most people call it WEEDING.
It works WONDERFULLY in other places besides your yard! | |
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| Most rejections stem from what is NOT in her profile...
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:12:05 AM | Dear "Seriously Seeking You" OMG I bet you wish you didn't post your analyzation.
People, he's entitled to his opinion. Let's go back to why people are on here in the first place. Most are looking for an alternative or additional way to try and find a special realationship that results in...LOVE! Low or no response to a profile is probably the normal experience for all people, men and women.
Answer this question: Can I be totally represented in a formatted profile, no matter how well designed or crafted for who I actually am.?
This is just as much a leap of faith as approaching someone in real time based on an attraction. In realtime, you know nothing of of the person you are going to chat up, except something is attracting YOU and it starts within you. What happens after is where the "dance" of two begins.
On line you are provided an informational sheet on the person. The profile can be accurate, or inaccurate, The person may not be good at preparing the profile and may have composed one based on what they would like to be not what they are. Most are probably close but none are totally accurate.
We need to be kinder to each other. It would be helpful for people to receive feedback when you're not attracted and won't respond. Try and look beyond the written profile. I'm not saying take a person that has absolutely no common interests or goals and approach them by their looks but reasonably close.
I would say that you are on here to attract people and some will approach people on physical attractiveness without consideration to content. While that may not be prudent, I'm sure it happens all the time. I wonder how many successful relationships have happen between people that reached out regardless of differences?
My main point is you can't evaluate why someone does or doesn't approach you from this experience. It should help that many really great people don't have a great response from this site, even if in reality they would be the "catch" of the century. LOL!
People that really want love will be willing to take the chances and go out on a few less than successful dates. Because they could find LOVE.
Peace. | |
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