| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:57:55 PM | I vent on here sometimes, but I don't use his name. And i don't really care if potential dates see it because it is really how I feel. It makes me feel better to write it down. While he has spoken about me by name to women, I don't feel the need to be the person to spread his name around, though it's tempting..lol expecially when I see a pic he posted on here that he took for this site while I was there!
But honestly, when I write, the goal is to worry about me and my feelings, not his. In fact, that would onky inflate his ego more than it already is. So vent away if it makes you feel better I say, but you don't need to use names to do it. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 6/16/2009 10:18:20 PM |
Have you ever broken up with a loser, only to come on POF and read a post where he (or she) is professing to be the victim in the relationship?
...I thought that was the purpose of the forums...oh, wait, that's just the majority of the posts.
They're still fun to read and post to, as it didn't happen to me...this time.
In the end, I deleted instead of posting. Not sure why.
Because if you had you:
a. would put yourself down to his level
b. validate him by showing he is worth a response (to you)
c. might have been unsure if some things were perspective or actual lies
d. didn't want him to contact you in response, or get into some escalating retribution thing
e. maybe didn't want to risk possibly being wrong if "attacked" by other forum posters | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:54:04 AM | | I anticipated this situation before I even started dating and made sure of one thing above all else before I hooked up with the woman with whom I am now in a long-term relationship: that she couldn't type. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:51:13 PM | Have you ever broken up with a loser, only to come on POF and read a post where he (or she) is professing to be the victim in the relationship? No.
I really hope I'm smart enough, and capable enough of using sound judgement, that I never end up having a relationship with the sort of person who would ever do that.
I personally find it amussing when people air their low-class relationship drama in these forums, as if they're on the stage of some trashy daytime tv show.
But, just like the types of people on the Jerry Springer Show, I certainly wouldn't date any of those people.
I do have to wonder, if the person who's the subject of the first thread is starting their own thread, to call the person a loser, are they really much better than the first person? Or are they just doing the very same thing?
I guess that by just calling someone a loser, they're acting slightly more dignified, than if they'd wrote a long post airing all of the person's "dirty little secrets. But not too much more dignified. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:59:13 PM | "I have not repeatedly said in each post that he was a loser"
That is actually incorrect, because you called him a loser in the subject line of EVERY post so far (and sometimes in the body of your posts).
Also wondering: How sure are you he's ranting about you? Couldn't he have had another fling that turned sour? If he said 'ex' and used the 'b' word, others might qualify, too. Or did he use unique details? | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:16:55 PM |
I'm not sure if this has been discussed before but;
Have you ever broken up with a loser, only to come on POF and read a post where he (or she) is professing to be the victim in the relationship?
WOW. It was like a kick in the stomach for me, and made me so mad to read the lies that, I spent an hour composing my own post to tell all his dirty little secrets and expose him for the liar he is.
In the end, I deleted instead of posting. Not sure why.
OP
This happened to me a few years ago on another website (not POF), where a lot of the participants knew us outside of the discussion board. The guy trashed me for about a week and it was really hard for me but I didn't comment on the disparaging comments because that is what he wanted me to do. He ended up losing a lot of friends because of it and guess what, my ratings went up up up hahahaha! I agree, participating in such crap lowers you to a degree so its really hard to watch yourself getting defamed but whenever possible, unless you can institute a successful lawsuit outside of the board, it is usually just a good idea to let the poster hang themselves with their own rope. I think in general when one does things like that the damage they do to themselves is worse in the sense that, people don't even realize how important SELF RESPECT is. When you do something like that your SELF RESPECT is what you have to look at in the mirror everyday and realize that you are looking at a scumbag and you know it and its the truth and......its worse than anything anyone else can do to or say about you. I would grab a bag of popcorn and watch them commit suicide. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:53:09 PM | Writing it was a great way to vent, deleting it was the RIGHT thing to do!!!!
revenge really isn t that sweet. Self respect IS
I ened things with a man i met at a POF event, dated a while............... He can say what ever he wants about me, ill never post anything negative ever..............
Why let him know you even care | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:16:50 PM | yeah, not cool what he did. He could of use more tact, but we are talking about a man. You must of really broke his heart for him to be such a baby about it. But it's good you didn't lower yourself to his level.
But I do agree with some of the other posts on here. I don't think it would of been wrong for you to write a little note about how things just didn't work out and your sorry he felt that way..Or some other tactful way to say shit happens move on and get over yourself. With out being imature like he was.
Men really have a hard time with rejection. Some woman do too. Learning to express your feelings like and adult is a virture that is good to have. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:46:03 PM |
And btw... one of the best way to assess how someone truly is, is to look at how they treat and/or speak of their Ex's... because YOU might be the next person they speak that way about.
This is absolutely true and should be applied to all relationships, whether they’re Ex’s, friends, relatives, co-workers or whomever, online or IRL. Oftentimes, remaining silent speaks louder to the truth and demonstrates a much higher degree of integrity. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:56:48 PM | | No it hasn't happened to me but there's three sides to every story and it's pretty juvenile to have online fights/revenge. Some people will believe him, some will believe you and many will just laugh at you. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:43:48 PM | I think it shows that you have moved on emotionally. Although it angered you to see the internet bashing, a voice inside you said "WTF do I care, I'm done with him anyway". Bickering back and forth with him in that way would just extend the relationship, dysfunctional as it may be. I'm pretty sure that was his intention... to get your attention, even if it was in a negative way. You didn't buy into it. Good for you!  | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:03:56 AM | People vent in forums all the time.
I dont think badly of them. Everybody's human and this place is as much a medium for learning and debate as it is for moral support and sometimes even therapy.
Im ok with that and I dont think badly of people when they do it.
Im not gonna lecture them that if they do it... they're somehow to blame or arent taking the higher moral ground... people have limits unless they're freakin nutty by nature.
Just cos someone does something completely out of character... doesnt mean they're a nutter either... it makes me wonder what somebody else did.
We pick it up
If they did it ALL the time... thats another thing... and regular forums posters will know who does and who does not.
Ive seen many posters here that are one minute singing the praises of their current screw and next minute posting threads that make themselves look like a hero or victim.
And they do it continously.
So if a person's worst case scenario is sharing with strangers events... rather than going postal and shooting random strangers or doing the exact same sh*t over and over... whats the problem?
I quote things that have happened to me all the time and they certainly arent always "bad". RARELY so.
Does that make me directing them at the other person? No
Just means Im sharing a situation and discussing what I have or havent learned
*IF* those things are outright lies... you're welcome to confront me on them.
I dont have a problem with that... anymore than they should have a problem seeing what it is that they've *done*... and how thats impacted me.
You dont like that? meh...
If you're guilty... bad f*cken luck if I choose to share what you did.
You'll only react if its true or keep your mouth shut for the exact same reason (cos you dont want anyone to find out)
Really depends on the type of person YOU are as well.
You have no grounds to do anything about the truth if it is.
And you'll only KNOW if you're concerned about what I might say and are following what I do after we've parted ways if you know you've f*cked up.
Ive seen what happens... and have had people "talk" to me and other people purposefully or not... across forums and other sites as they've vented whats happened. eg. like I see ppl doing on facebook or myspace all the time in status updates etc.... so its not just me Im speaking about.
Its quite interesting infact.
Has shown me that what Ive said when it is NOT directed at them cos otherwise I'll say it directly to your face... not only means their reaction is a guilty conscience... but that they're assuming what I said .... was even about them.
Im a VERY easy going person. I RARELY speak ill of anyone.... so *if* I did speak ill of you... then keep this in mind...
...I LOVE to debate in forums and butt heads cos its fun and informative, I will use what is pertinent to me... thats nothing but logical rather than speculation... but I also pride myself on trying to be empathic... seeing both sides of the coin... for me... AND anyone else involved...
....if I speak derogatively of you... not only have you completely overstepped your bounds when it comes to me personally... and I not only have a pretty f*cken well informed opinion... but I likely have proof what you've done.
What exactly you gonna do about that?
Point the finger at me? I dont think so. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:24:39 AM | | Don't worry OP. As long as he is not revealing your username. I think there is a rule about that, even though I have seen people reveal this kind of info in their dirt fights. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:27:30 AM | | I know that it hurts when someone that you have cared about starts bashing you. I think that you are just stooping to his level in starting this thread. Let it rest, not worth it. | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:50:15 AM | You know how men are with their FISH STORIES.........bahhhhhhhhhhhh as if I actually believe most of what they say about their exes!!!
One thing Ive learned in my years is that the ex is always a ****.....yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah...... | |
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| Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/11/2009 2:22:46 AM | | When people conduct bitter post-mortems in the forums, IMO, it speaks volumes about them. Good for you for not retaliating. It would've been undignified and only dragged things out, OP. | |
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