MacAuthur, dang you found me out... To much Prozac... yeahhhh, Shug I didn't write the study or even participate... When I read the study, and it basically stated this is all that is needed, and ta da your search is over, I thought, WOW, I can save all of POF by telling them what a University study has found...
J/K
By the way I have an awesome guy, we have been together a year the 27th of this mo...
Now to those who understand it is a posed question about a study, thanks... I agree typical BS of putting out what seems most important to the researcher...
I think admiration is very important...
Men want FIVE things in a relationship
Respect
Gratitude
Love
Sex
Admiration.
Everything else is secondary and not of major importance.
Men, like women, want these things from someone they find attractive. The flaw in the study you cite is simple. It gives one a set of choices, and these are not ALL the possible choices that one might come up with on one's own.
People confuse attraction for love. Attraction is not a choice. Love is a choice.
Oldguy, I think you have some valid points there...
Respect, Gratitude, love, and admiration are earn (someone said that before me) However for a good number of men sex is one of the running goals when meeting, just an observation from the threads...
I do know from a womans perspective that those five are important as well... I also know that for some men they want the house well kept, but can skip the good cook part...
Gratitude for some men is at the top of their list as well... Without it, a man feels used, sometimes I do believe women forget this... There has to be that please, thank you, would you mind doing, et al... With out it a man, or woman feels like a slave...
I also agree with the poster that stated things are so complicated... NOW DAYS, YES...
My running issue with my SO is that we don't share a lot of interests in common... That bothers me at times, because I want to camp, I want to hangout in nature, I want to fish, and have my man know how to tie the line so the whole set up doesn't fall apart as you give a good hard cast...
He isn't into any of that, HOWEVER we make things work because their is mutual admiration, respect and gratitude for being with each other, even if we are just sitting on the bed dinking around on our computers separately... Not much different than sitting and watching TV, we have favorite shows we watch together...
People confuse attraction for love. Attraction is not a choice. Love is a choice. [/quote ] to me this was worth repeating... I see this happen a lot, people are attracted to each other, and believe that attraction is all about love... Yeah not...
OHHHH and to the poster who said they don't want the town bike...
I thought that term was only used by the hicks out where I live, LOL...
Women seem to be more accepting of MEN being a town bike, then the other way around... While we don't want some disease infested cad, we will tolerate that a man has sown his wild oats, HOPEFULLY before meeting us...
Great posts and thoughts... It is great to see that people aren't stuck in some box of ideals, there is to much in the world around us to have a list of 18 things that makes a relationship...
HOW they missed the respect, admiration, and gratitude is a biggy... For each person they may fall into different areas of importance, BUT they are important
Readyornot, I don't think admiration needs to be worshiping the other, depending on the person, and if they have a personality disorder, they may demand it... But a bit of admiration for achieving good things from time to time is not a bad thing either...
It would be horrible if you were with your SO, and you never tell anyone that you are dating, or anything good that they did... In fact I see a lot of UNadmiration on forums as people will bash their SO...
These are some good ideas, and good insight, and NO this isn't for any study, just for my own insight to the wants and needs in a relationship...
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