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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:56:18 PM | Still not sure if this was a date, or just plain weird. It happened long, long ago in another lifetime, anyway.
I was looking for a job cooking on a fishing boat while I lived in Seattle, and this one boat owner wanted to interview me, but the only time he had available was in the evening. No problem, I knew how busy everyone was all day getting their boats ready to go, so I said sure, 8 PM was okay. I met him at his boat, he said he was hungry, we'd go someplace for a sandwich. Fine, he was paying, after all. His idea of a place to eat was a rather notorious [at that time] gay bar downtown! Never did get a sandwich, but he got plenty of beer, and I got to drool over some very attractive males - which the boat owner was definitely not - who weren't the least bit interested in anyone female.
I don't know what he was expecting, but the next day I told him I found a job on another boat. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:18:27 PM | wow, all of those stories were funny....makes me kinda jealous since i haven't had any dates that left me laughing let alone any dates in a while. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 10:41:21 AM | | I went a date a few years ago - met the guy at an outdoor concert. he took me to dinner and then I invited him in my house for some wine. He was very polite during dinner. While drinking our wine he looks at me and says "I want a BJ" excuse me? "I want a BJ -that is what I usually get" Finally I asked if there was anything in it for me and he shrugs his shoulders (as a NO). He did not get his BJ I occasionally see him out and for the life of me I can't remember his name because now I call him BJ ! | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 11:03:07 AM | Nice to know that everyone else has the same problems, as me.
New to POF about 5 months ago, mind boggling, and it was like shopping, which to pick, what to pick, and how now.
Finally cracked it by narrowing it down to birth signs, age, and things in common.
After being brave I wrote to at least 15, and got about 2 replies, seems no one is interested in a 50 year old with two children.
Meet a guy, same age, 5 ft 9, blue eyes, intelligent, and we began to correspond. We began telephoning each other, he could be saucy, aren't we all. After telephoning each other (he wanted to meet after two messages, and I held back), he tells me that one of his girlfriends from POF whom he dated was a SWINGER, and the other married. Being naive I asked friends if this was normal, they said no, but I ignored them, thought he might be naive. Finally I decided to meet up with him, and out the blue, said come on in town 10 minutes. He arrived, over weight, 5ft 5, sweating, and in dirty clothes. We sat, he spilled the coffee.
Then two gay females who had been standing nearby decide to start pashing up tongues and all, I was digusted, he was glued to them, I got up said u can stay I'm off, he made no move, I left.
Second guy - talking for about 3 months, really nice, nothing sexy in conversation, discussed our lifes, funny things, our children etc. Asked him if he wanted to meet, he hesitated, he was going racing. Then out the blue he admits he's only after sex, if I'm interested please stay in touch, if not bye bye.
IS THERE ANY DECENT GUYS. This is only a portion of my stories to many to tell. Is there any hope. Please write and convince me. I've given up hope.
CAT | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 11:21:22 AM |
Then out the blue he admits he's only after sex, if I'm interested please stay in touch, if not bye bye.
He actually vocalized this? The absolute nerve of the man..
Okay my last date after dinner told me how much he likes to give oral sex and that he is very oral... I just said ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I really can't stand that YUK !!
I am very conservative!!!
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 1:42:20 PM | | He invited me to his company dance. We were both young and foolishly I didn't ask where or take much money. We caught a bus to a nearby town and train to a city and I thought OK. But then we met the rest of the staff and boarded another bus to some place miles in the country. My date never danced all night which totally frustrated me, and we had to stay to the end until the bus took us back. Obviously missed the last train so had to wait until early morning. Finally caught a train back, but there were no buses. I said 'let's take a taxi' (stupid - because he didn't have enough money and was too proud to let me pay at the other end). So we walked to his friend's flat, woke him up and he drove us home. I still chuckle at my naivety, and learned to always take enough money to get home and ask questions before going anywhere. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 3:10:59 PM | I was 19 and sharing a house with two girlfriends. A guy I vaguely knew phoned and asked me to see the Rocky Horror Show (it was when it was first playing as a stage show ...OMG I'm so old). So I said sure and invited him around for dinner first as we were having a barbecue.
So, all the way through the show, I keep smelling this dreadful smell. It was really weird - couldn't work out what it was or where it was coming from, but it was close.
We go to the foyer in intermission to get a drink and he pulled a chop out of his pocket. He'd stashed away some of the bbq in his pants in case he got hungry later on.. (He was a poor student, but still...) | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 3:23:49 PM | My dating life has given me back my sense of humor.....
I meant my date at a restaurant....never ever meant him before....as soon as our food was placed before us he blurted out to me he wasn't gay. Out of no where. Then proceeded to tell me how he got drunk and woke up to a friend of his doing him. Later on he told me he belonged to a group that swaps partners.......oh lucky me.....now I am one of those people that can see things as someone is telling the story and I started gagging.....I was trying so hard not to throw up. I started laughing so hard because of the absurdity of having someone that I have never meant tell me about his sexual experiences......at least if he was going to tell me he should have told me a better one than that.........
He called the next day and asked me to a party........I told him that I wasn't comfrontable being seen naked by large groups of people...he never called again. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:15:06 PM | | I had been chatting with this guy via the net for months. We lived approx 100 miles apart. He seemed to always prolong meeting. He finally told me that he did not want to meet until he had completed his teeth implant surgeries. ok. So we finally met, went for dinner and dancing. A nice guy. Dinner was cream soup for him. We had fun dancing, but he could not carry on a conversation, it was like pulling teeth (haha) Well, he went to kiss me good night, I put my hands in his hair (which had not moved all night) and there was a wire in the back of his head! He had a rug wired on!! Well, I am a very visual person, and cracked up laughing right in the middle of a kiss. I could imagine getting his rug caught on my ring. I sooo tried to stop laughing!! Then I had more visuals (not going there) LMAO He could not figure how I could be so effected by one glass of wine that was hours later! Then, because the tears were pouring down my face, I could not get my breathe or even talk, he thought I was choking. I never heard from him again. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:20:31 AM | I was 18 and had just started living in the dorms at university in my home town. It was summer session with not many people on campus so I was bored and lonely. A few months before I had been working in the "ladies' accessories" department of a department store when two long-haired, outrageously dressed guys showed up at the counter. Turned out they were in a rock band getting ready to go on tour and one of them wanted a bunch a long, flashy scarves. I sold them a whole bag while the shorter, blonde one (a real cutie) flirted with me. I hadn't thought much about the incident until I got a call at the dorm (this was back before cell phones when all the students on one floor shared a couple of pay phones) from a guy saying "Remember me, the rocker who bought the scarves from you? Wanna go out?" Turned out he had tracked me down through the store by telling them he was an old school friend of mine. I was thrilled and agreed to meet him on the steps of the student union that evening, where he said he would pick me up in his red convertible. I dressed in my best hippie girl duds, black bellbottoms, suede boots and lots of scarves and beads and sat on the steps waiting.
My date was late but meanwhile a very cute fellow student came by and sat next to me and introduced himself. We hit it off and he invited me to go get a coffee -- told him I was so sorry but was waiting for a date, but.....just as I was about to ask him for a phone number so we could get together some other time I realized his gaze had turned toward the curb and he had this look of shock. I turned to look myself and saw this enormous red low rider Cadillac approaching, at least I think it was red because it was almost completely covered with bumper stickers with slogans like "F**k the Pigs", "Revolution Now", "All riders pay: A*s or Grass" as well as flaming skulls and naked women, etc. The finishing touch was the naked plastic baby doll impaled on the antenna. Leaning out of the drivers window was this hulking, scowling guy with waist length black hair, a bristling moustache, a large scar on his cheek and a gold ring in his nose, dressed almost entirely in black leather. "Hey, College Boy, get away from my date!" he yelled as he sprang out of the car, and my new friend jumped up and scurried away. Too dumbstruck to react, I let this apparition steer me into the passenger seat.
I realized too late that this was NOT the cute blonde guy I had been focusing on back in the store, but his large sullen buddy who had been standing behind him during the transaction. It turned out my "date" ("just call me Dirty Dave") was the band's "security chief" (i.e. chief roadie) and told me proudly he was a former member of the Hell's Angels. He proceeded to drag me through a tour of the wild underbelly of the city: biker bars, topless joints, after-hours clubs -- it felt like a Fellini movie. I was seriously underage and had never even tasted a beer. I don't think I said anything more than " uh, nice to meet you" during the whole night as he introduced me to an endless string of fellow bikers, tattooed thugs, pimps, drag queens and strippers boozing it up and snorting coke (I managed to discreetly avoid ingesting anything but a couple glasses of 7-Up). I couldn't have said anything if I had wanted to because he kept up a constant rap about his life and his run-ins with the law and the price on his head and the unruly fans he had to "stomp" when the band was on tour.
I just sort of went on stunned "deer in the headlights" automatic pilot, looking for a chance to flee before he offered me up for a gang bang or traded me for drugs or something but we were in such rough neighborhoods that seemed risky. After about 4 hours of this I finally convinced him I wasn't feeling well and got him to drive me home. Surprisingly, he was quite the gentleman and never got physical with me. However, as he dropped me off he said he wanted to see me again and hoped I didn't have any other boyfriends because then he'd have to "stomp them." He started calling me daily after that but I had left a note on the dorm phone for anyone answering to say I wasn't there. After two weeks (and increasing irritation of my dorm mates) I took his call, disguising my voice with a Spanish accent as "her roommate, Maria" and told him I had transferred to another school in Alaska! I never ran into that cute student from the Student Union steps again.
I was terrified at the time, but actually laugh now whenever I remember that "adventure". | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:07:53 PM |
It did not take long to figure out that what she was looking for was a daddy for her kids, that had enough money to take care of all of them.
This reminded me of something that happened a few years back. I went out to lunch at a BBQ joint with the guy who was my boyfriend at that time, and some of his buddies/co-workers. One of his pals was a nice guy who had three kids and had gone through a nasty divorce, and he was looking for a nice woman to date, but he was really gun-shy since the divorce. He thought the waitress at this joint was really cute, but didn't flirt with her or let on that he was interested. He had to leave to go back to work before the rest of us did, so my boyfriend and his one pal started chatting up this chick on the other guy's behalf. They asked her if she thought he was attractive and she said she guessed so, and then told her that he also thought she was cute. To which she replied, "Does he have benefits?"
(Turned out that she already had three kids of her own and wanted a sugar daddy...) | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:32:29 PM | | One date that made me laugh was the time a man on a 1st meet stated that I offered to show him my breasts on cam. We did not share messenger addies. I looked him straight in the eye and said, " Oh that was a typo! I thought he was so funny! | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:37:03 PM | | I'd love to post it here but I'm afraid the guy would read it and I don't want to embarrass him. I'd send it to you off forum but I can't get past your filters. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:20:56 AM | To CAT:
IS THERE ANY DECENT GUYS. They are married. There might be a decent widower available to you. About your posts - good thing you saw what kind of man he was at the very beginning. It could be worse: a man could pretend to be a nice and decent guy, manipulate you into a relationship and after a while, when you developed feelings for him and got attached to him, show his true nature by abusing you and your trust. Then you would feel used. Not to mention - abused. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:32:25 PM | I had been chatting with a woman for months that I had met in the chat rooms. She had sent me a head photo, we had chatted many times and got on really well. She had always made it clear that she would love a relationship with me, though something was nagging at me about her. Anyway, after about 6 months of threatening to go to her town (about 60 miles away), I called her one day and said, I was going to come over later that day.. She was shocked at first, your not, your not, and when I had convinced her that I wasnt joking, she was over the moon. I got to the the town, and having bluetooth in the car, meant that I could talk to her while I was driving and follow the directions. Eventually, I arrived at her road. Smart area, big houses set well back, longish drives etc, so I was pleased that I hadnt turned up at a sink estate. All the houses had bay windows, and as I was driving up the street, she said that she could see me and that I should look to the houses on the right. OH MY GOODNESS! She appeared to be wearing the bay window she was that large!! The two devils popped up on my shoulders. Accelerate! Brake. Accelerate! Brake. Drive on and throw your phone away! Being the person I am, I stopped and went and knocked on the door. It opened, but there was nobody there, I just heard a voice saying make yourself at home. I went into the lounge, had a look around, nice place and sat on the sofa. A couple of minutes later, she came in. Well I nearly died. She was a large lady, the bottom of her stomach hanging past her groin. And she had a mini skirt on!! There was a blouse too, fighting to conceal the two balloons that were filled with water that were trying to escape! A cup of tea was offered, and thankfully taken to ease the incredible dryness that was taking place in my mouth. When she went into the kitchen, I contemplated bolting for the door, at which stage she came back in with a german shepherd that proceeded to sit in front of me, watching my every move. At this point, I thought about gibbering like a baby and asking for my mummy! Trapped, and surely doomed to see her naked! After what seemed like 10 days but was actually about an hour, I managed to convince her that I was due in the office for a very important meeting the next day, and as the MD, had to be there. So we made it out into the hall, where she stood, puckering up for a snog. She got the perfunctory kiss on the cheek, and then I made like Usain Bolt for the car, and left tyre marks down the road when I shot off.. I got a text off her about 10 minutes later telling me that she wished I hadnt had to go as she had really wanted to spend the night with me!!!
I make it a rule now to see at least 33, full length body shots from all angles and distances so that I never end up in that situation again!! lol I laugh about it now, and amuse friends with the story, but at the time, it was probably the worst experience of my life!! | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:59:20 PM | I went on a date once and during our date we started talking about strip clubs.So anyways, after the date I was driving home and I was thinking about the date and the conversation and I thought to myself"yeah,I'm going to hit the strip bar here in town for a quick beer".So as I was driving up to the bar about to turn in I heard this skreaching of tires.I look over to the other side of the road and it was my date!She rolled down her window and blasted the shhit out of me for going to a strip bar and the type of women she's not and everything!
How the hell did she know I was going to the strip bar?!?! | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:37:51 PM | my first date after being with my X 17 years: he was a friend of friends...
we all met at his place, went to dinner, dancing & my friends went home.
the date went well, afterwords we were making out & he in what seemed a nano second laid across my lap & asked me to spank him...and started calling me mommy....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I was scared to death...
i jumped up & ran out of there....stopped at a local 'cheers' like pub on my way home, met a real nice guy, told him what happened and ended up being friends then dating him for a little over a year.
call making lemonade out of a lemon. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:26:19 PM | The one who asked me to a meet and greet on a specific day and time and we agreed. He had it planned right down to the menu and was asking me all kinds of questions about what I'd tried before and hadn't.
The day before he emailed me and we chatted a bit but he was acting like it was a first email. Then he said we should get together for a coffee sometime.
Since one of the reasons I stopped going for first meets with numerous guys at once was to prevent this very type of thing happening, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Could have happened to me I figured.)
So I suggested the same time he should have been meeting me for dinner.
He showed for the coffee but at no point did the penny drop despite me giving him a number of clues -- and chances to save his dignity.
He still probably doesn't know what my problem was when I wanted to keep looking. | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:05:54 AM | I was meeting this woman at Monkeys a few years back. I had my leather patched vest on, sleeveless shirt, beat up jeans, worn out boots and all my arm tats showing.
She walked in all dressed up. She looked at me and said
"You are not my type" and walked out. I cracked up. I love a woman who is direct to the point. Cant get any better than that.
Perfect example of judging a book by its cover. You see, I did that on purpose to see what kind of woman she was going to be. I was right. Very shallow. Hell, it saved me a bunch of cash that night.
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:30:06 AM | Went to a pub which had soft sofa's with half an hour his head was in line with my boob! and still slipping! I was worried I was going to have to put my hands under his armpits and yank him up before he hit the floor! He was 5 yrs younger than me and I so wanted to talk to him like my son and tell him to sit up straight! It is very difficult to talk to someone who is eventually going to end up on the floor so I decided to suggest we went to another pub with up right chairs!!! Walking out with my floppy man was well interesting bit like being with Mr Jelly from the Mr Men!!
Went to enter the next pub, just as we were about to enter a head appeared from inside and promptly threw up !! So we ended up back at the sofa pub!!!
He text me later and said 'Friends or more'? told him just friends, spend the next few weeks with him asking where he went wrong and why wasn't he good enough for him etc I really wanted to tell him to get a spine!!! | |
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| Which date left you laughing
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:25:11 PM | | Chatted online for a bit, his picture was very cute. We did a lunch meet and greet at a Thai place. I arrived and checked in with the hostess, who pointed to a man sitting at a nearby table. I smiled even though his appearance was markedly different than his photo. I could deal with the 10+ years and the 40+ pounds, but as I sat down, I had trouble looking him in the eye. He, for some unknown reason, had shaved off one eyebrow. I didn't know where to look and faked a stomach ache to leave before lunch. I burst out laughing as soon as I was in my car. As soon as I got home, I looked up his profile to make sure his picture included two eyebrows. | |
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