| Debt
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:05:25 PM | Considering that this is the "Over 30" forum... I would say that debt, outside of a mortgage, possibly student loans or maybe a reasonable auto loan, is a huge red flag.
I expect someone in their 20s to be kinda dumb about money, and to buy a fancy car they really can't afford or run up their credit card. But, if you haven't outgrown that in your 30s... I say run away. | |
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Posted: 6/20/2009 9:09:55 PM | "well...unless you are in a house that is completly paid off, have no car payment, have no credit cards, then you are not in debt....(which I find hard to beleive)
so in turn, I think 99% of the population is in debt...."
Well I'm in this 1% but the hardest and most frustrating part of it is the only way you can really do this is to look like you are probly in the lower half of the otherside. People don't want around with their bank/financial account statements sticking out for all to see like the price of their cars.
I'm really not sure what I've done is smarter than the guy above who said he has a debt but has a hottub...
As far as dating its a non issue to me..To only date someone who is debt free, even to forgo dating people with a decent amount of variable interest rate debt strikes me as dating suicide..far too limiting the pool. | |
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Posted: 6/20/2009 10:41:51 PM | I have one more payment on my bike but other than that... I am not in debt  | |
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Posted: 6/20/2009 11:53:46 PM | OH Boy, I can see the future now...
Now you have to have credit to buy a car, house, credit cards, cell phones, even a decent job.
Soon, men and women will have to post their credit scores on dating sites to attract a relationship.
Why can't it be that men pay for everything on the first date? Hold the door open, pull out the chair, be polite and courteous. Thats what I do.....wait a minute, IS That why I fail? hmmmmm....... | |
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Posted: 6/21/2009 10:30:30 AM | | I am not in debt. I also know how to live within my means. So, if I cannot have it, or afford it, I do not get it. I am in College full time, work part time, and manage to do just fine on my own. And, once I do graduate, I will probably do very well, but have no intention on going out and blowing all my money on useless things. I would never "not" date someone so much over them being in debt...but maybe as to WHY they are in debt. If you have a boat in your driveway, and do not pay your child support...I would probably tell you to take a long walk off a short pier. If you pay your child support, and decline buying a boat and can barely pay your rent, I will buy you dinner or cook for you. Not everyone is in debt for bad reasons. It it the ones who are foolish with money and cannot support themselves that worry me. I would far rather stay home, and live inexpensivly, then be with a man who has to spend all his money on shit he cannot afford. Sometimes people's priorites amaze me. I am not perfect, but I know how to live. I owe my father and mother for raising me the way they did. The smart way.It is not what you have, it is what you do with what you have. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2009 3:58:47 PM | | I enjoy nice things, which I work hard to pay for, and I am very good about living within my means, so have not developed a large debt, as I don't borrow. This means that I can afford nice things, like an expensive dinner out. I expect the person I'm dating to also be able to do this, it tells me they have been responsible with their finances, and won't squander my money also if we ever get that far. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2009 6:35:15 PM | | I am not in debt, other than my mortgage, and my mortgage is pretty small compared to my income, not one of those crazy huge ones. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2009 7:35:48 PM | | I think that as soon as you have to wonder about the price of a dinner is the time you dismiss the whole dinner idea. If you can't afford or don't want to take someone out for dinner then don't do it. Jeeeezzz now I have to worry about my credit rating when it comes to dating? Like there aren't enough things to worry about. Dating should be about fun. Being excited to meet someone new. The last thing I worry about is if the guy has money. If I can't pay for my own meal I just won't go for dinner. It is amazing how difficult some people make dating out to be. Be open minded. | |
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Posted: 6/22/2009 8:00:00 PM | | Student loans (which don't even come due till 2012) and a car payment. No other debt here. | |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 12:27:45 AM | I could care less about anyone's debt situation. I don't need anyone's money and no one is touching mine.
I also do not discuss my finances to strangers on the internet. Or anyone for that matter. I've always been that way and I will continue to be that way.
If anyone ever has a problem with it.........I don't care. It's not for discussion. | |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 7:07:21 AM | Minimal debt and I live far below my means. I don't have a credit card by choice. My boring sedan is paid for.
I have no problems paying for dinner when I ask a lady for a date. Just because I'm frugal in some areas doesn't mean I'm cheap. I spend my money where I think it's important. Regular, frequent, vacations with my kids are important. The latest gadget, fancy furniture, and giant screen TV are not. | |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 8:19:26 AM | At the moment, I'm about $10k in debt, due to I had to dole out about $6k to get my business going (in the hopes that it would pay for itself plus support me, which didn't happen). If not for the expensive cameras and editing equipment that my business requires, I wouldn't even touch my credit card--it'd be gathering dust, unused.
I'm looking for a second business or job at the moment...pickens are slim out there...maybe when this pesky economic recession blows over, I'll be able to work my ass off and pay this shit off quickly.
Debt just adds one more element of pressure to the situation. Better to be debt-free.
As far as expensive dinner dates, don't spend beyond your means. You're setting up a precedent for high expectations each date; in short, you're pretending to be something you're not (a rich man). But don't be cheap either. | |
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Posted: 6/27/2009 1:38:42 PM | of course im in debt. im 34 years old, im male, im divorced and i live on gulf coast.
as for paying for dinner..if you have to use a credit card or take out a loan to go on a date you may need to slow down on the dating a little and stop living beyond your means. if you really think that money is the only thing you have to offer to impress a woman then you need to reevaluate you. yeah allot of women on here or looking for mister perfect and have unrealistic goals,, um..duh.. that could be why theyre single. | |
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Posted: 6/27/2009 7:22:18 PM |
You have to be very careful in this bad econ that you don't attract gold diggers and meal hunters. BELIEVE ME! I KNOW!
Really? Women go to all the trouble and expense of getting ready for a first date, just to score a free meal? You must be taking your ladies to some *very* choice restaurants ;) | |
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Posted: 6/27/2009 7:56:29 PM | | Op it's easier to date someone who understands your financial state. If you can't afford to go to five star places then don't date women who are debt free and expect that. Such things are nice to have but the reality is that dating is in and of itself a financial expense as well as an emotional one. If you are debt free then expect that some woman with heavy debt will expect you to be financially supportive in order to ride the love train. Not true in every case but more often than not it's the norm. | |
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Posted: 6/28/2009 1:02:29 PM | I have no debt and just finished a 1-week Puerto Rico vacation out of pocket. Not that I've always been that way.
I spent 5 years paying down debt and then had to do it again after a jobless spell. I just paid off my 2006 car last month. It feels good to be in the black again.
I would be nervous to find out a date was heavily in debt, but then I've found that my mutual attraction with women rarely matches my "well-thought" lists of qualities I want. | |
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Posted: 6/28/2009 1:46:01 PM | Dave Ramsey (AM Radio)
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Posted: 6/28/2009 3:28:32 PM | "Debt"
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That's it. That's the name of the game. It's shallow and stupid. A lot of people drive a nice car, dress in fancy clothes and dream about that castle on top of the world so to speak. In reality they own nothing. The bank own their a$$. When they can't pay for all that junk anymore, the system walks in and confiscates everything and sells it on auction. | |
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Posted: 6/28/2009 6:06:15 PM | | I mean it depends on the income coming in to your debt. I have debt (mortgage, car, etc)., but I pay my bills most the time in full. I have a difficult time dating someone who doesn't have any secure debt and only credit card debt. I think credit rating is the most important not the amount of debt. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 7:41:03 AM | "I have a difficult time dating someone who doesn't have any secure debt and only credit card debt."
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Debt as debt. It's the same $hit and it doesn't matter if there's a fancy name for it or what it's for. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 8:48:19 AM | | You are correct, the definition of debt would say debt is debt. But to me there is something to be said for a person who has a lot of debt and has nothing to show for it and someone who has debt but has equity to show for it (i.e. home, land, etc.) | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 11:56:56 AM | Let's see
House payment
Car payment
Student loans
Next year a small business loan to start my own agency
Then again with all this debt and never missing any payments my credit is awesome and I can borrow as much as I need to go on that cruise around the world before I open my agency  | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:58:07 PM | "You are correct, the definition of debt would say debt is debt. But to me there is something to be said for a person who has a lot of debt and has nothing to show for it and someone who has debt but has equity to show for it (i.e. home, land, etc.)"
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Well, if you get fired tomorrow and you're in debt up to your ears; what will happen is that you can no longer maintain the lifestyle that you're used to. It also means that you'll probably have to sell things off, i.e., the car, the house, etc., and what remains after everything's gone will be you baggage until the day you can start paying off your loans. Having said that, what would YOU have to show for? I'd say nothing. You'd probably be living in a trailer park with loans you can't get rid of. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 11:47:12 PM | I'm 100% debt free. Whatever charges are added to my cards are paid off monthly and everything else is paid for. I don't have a mortgage, but I used too before I sold a few years ago.
Debt is actually something I look at in a potential partner that might go beyond dating. Some debt of fine, but drowning in stupid debt with no good reason and nothing to show for it just shows a lack of responsibility. I have been down that road before with a prior partner and wont be doing so again. | |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 10:53:40 AM | I have manageable debt, but I have divorce debt that I did not know about until we split.
I am living within my means, but that only means I manage my money I have. So when I go out, I don't go where I can not afford.
It's not about spending money on a date anyhow, it's about knowing the person that you are with.
I'd be happy going to a ball game and getting a corn dog if it afforded me the opportunity to get to know the person more. | |
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