| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 6/18/2009 12:58:23 AM | | Oh and a lot of these supposive "nice girls" also do nothing but make excuses when they meet a good guy, regardless of what they might tell their friends. I Met a "nice girl" once, she made contradictory remarks as to why she decided to end it. Most of these so nice girls nothing will satisfy them thats why their still popping up on the site. not to sound bitter but seriously.. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 6/18/2009 1:10:22 AM | | If i met someone that was not confident, has no opinion, and couldent speak up for themselves..i would have to make um laugh? How could you just say NOOO thats a turn off...see ya! There is way more then meets the eye. If people are givin a chance to express there belives and strengths..and ideals then you might find a stronger person then you know. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:33:09 AM | | It happens when you were raised by someone who instilled a drive to excel, be better than others, and in so doing modeled the habit of pointing out who was worthless losers, which may be a good way to motivate a child to perform and to think highly of themselves, but it leaves them with bad social skills and perfectionist standards. Overly critical parents can produce children with tanked self-esteem whose primary need is status. Being all they can be is all they can be. But it's not abnormal or bad in anyway, and people who dislike being talked down to are just jealous losers resenting their betters. Social labels are used to rank people. Being better requires others to be worse. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:39:38 AM | well, I think we all talked about this stuff in a thread long ago, I'm not sure if you were even born yet Tina.....hahaha.
ummm....the mistake a lot of people use..is putting things in little boxes and labeling them 'bad' or good'....words you use a lot here.
a Bad Boy is not necessarily and Evil Boy.......just, you know...not bland...not vanilla ..k?
he might muss your hair...and not apologize...
or, rub you the right way...and not apologize or ask for fcukin directions....
but...he'll have your back......ya can count on that.
the drama people...well, some of it is situational....so, I get that...sometimes a woman is left alone with 4 little animal kids to raise on her own, no money, no skilz......that creates tension...tension creates drama....drama raises blood pressure and other interesting issues.
we ...a lot of us can, and have made a choice to live a more simple relaxed life, personally, I would rather put a stick through my head than to live with a drama queen. It would feel better.
Picky is picky..that's all...the super picky ones...are simply alone....that's all....bad ..or good, as you call it.
the good ones...not taken? well, that's unanswerable...there is good in everyone
but, there is not necessarily blandness in everyone,
ya gotta know when to kick it up a notch
and, keep it sizzlin' but not about the same old soap.
Just say NO to Drama.
Kimbo*********************************** | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:02:10 PM | Good answer.
I created this profile to see what kinds of responses I would receive. Was very interesting to note that none of the so called "bad boys" made any effort to contact me, rather, it was the normal. "successful" and normal types who did. I think everyone wants spice in their life. But saying that standards play an important role here too. Why cant we have both? | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:51:44 PM | This is simple one to answer OP.
Abelian gave you the biggest clue as to why a lot of men prefer the 'Drama Queen'/Bad girl.
Its because she will be a filthy slut in bed for men, she has no reservations, or inhibitions. She fulfils the need that a lot of men have for filthy sex. Really, its as simple as that.
Most men could'nt give a damn about how decent, good, or together a woman is,.. they dont care wether she is honest, has integrity, intelligence etc. All they care about is how she looks, is she sexually attractive, and will she be happy to do X Y and Z in bed.
Most 'decent' or 'good' women are living in reality,.. these men are living out their porn fantasies. they will never be satisfied with a so called 'real' or 'normal sex life. They want to push every boundary. The Crazy women are better for fulfilling their wants in that respect.
Sad, but true, that a good number of men dont care what youre about, they care about what you'll do sexually. Simple.
G. x | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:00:54 PM | | I dont think all men want what you just described. i think there are some guys out there who have an edge to them but are also responsible and look for the same in a partner. Its all in the packaging I guess. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:09:20 PM |
It's got me curious, what the heck is up with men passing up the good girls for the drama queens who are full of nonsense baggage?
Seems simple to me. But I live in my own world.
they don't have any of their shyt together, can't keep a job, have three kids from three different men, can't pay their bills, mooch off their boyfriends, you name it, and ALL of them are in relationships with seemingly good guys.
The guys WANT to be in relationships. The "damaged" girls are the easiest way for the guys to be in a relationship. They don't mind being used, as long as they get the relationship. Which they are using the girls for. They need to be needed. And everything is great for as long as the women stick around. And they will stick around as long as they are getting something from the guys.
So everyone wins. It's a transaction based relationship rationalized as an emotionally fulfilling one.
own their own homes, have great jobs, have no kids, have never been married, have no skeletons in the closet, are sweet, witty, fun, easy-going, blah blah blah are ALL single and can't seem to meet quality men.
Because these women don't "really" want to be in relationships. It's too much risk towards losing their own homes, independence and lack of responsibility for having no kids, focus on themselves.
But in general the world they live in keeps promulgating the belief that they "should" want relationships. So they put forth half ass attempts at building one to fulfill that pressure. But always subconsciously choosing guys they know will never work out. Coming up with attribute lists and "preferences" to make sure to keep the ones they will have to change their lives around and work with away.
So they never have to change, face true risk, or accept responsibility. But they get to maintain the self delusion they are, and blame the guys for the woman's failure.
Not to mention some of the "quality men" are doing the same thing (picking women they know subconsciously will never work in order to preserve their security, independence, lack of responsibility, decrease risk, blame the women, etc).
So everyone wins! They get to maintain their status quo, and place blame on others because of it.
That's just how I see it. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:37:12 PM | | This whole online dating things is sooooooooooo weird to me. Like a giant smorg...lol. I have many facets to me that I cannot describe my personality wholly in just a few paragraphs....and it anyone is like me I dont want to read a book on here either... so which facet so you present in order to land the big fish? What do ppl want dammit? | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:51:26 PM | I understand what the OP is saying here because I've thought the same thing at times. I've had male friends claim they couldn't stand drama but yet they go for a drama queen, a woman who is demanding and/or treats them badly. I think some people are subconsciously the "rescuer" type. Both men and women fall into this category. My male friends who always go after this type of women claim all women are like this. Of course, we aren't, but all the women they go for are, so they've formed this impression of all women.
I get what Abelian is saying, too. Some men are only concerned that you're attractive, fun and sexual. They don't care if you have anything else going on, like owning a home, paying your bills, having a good job, etc. I get this and he does have a point. However, I've seen men marry irresponsible women who are only attractive, fun and sexual. Most of the time, years later, they were complaining that this woman spent all their money, complained about this and that, made them miserable, etc.
Now are all attractive, fun and sexual women irresponsible? Of course not. Many women have both sets of traits. And generally, I think men who are older go for women who are responsible, attractive, fun and sexual (the total package). Most of the younger men I know are the ones looking for one quality - a hot woman!
Also, the issue about being a nice girl or good girl. I think I'm nice, but not nice to a fault. I'm not going to allow someone to walk all over me. I'm not going to bend over backwards for someone. I have my own interests and friends. I'm not going to drop these for a man. I've done this in the past, though, and then I started examining what I was doing. I could see how men who were interested in men up front lost interest. I stopped doing everything I enjoyed in order to spend more time with them, and this changed everything they liked about me.
I'd like to think that while I own my own home, have a good job and am responsible, I'm also fun, attractive and sexual (well I know I'm sexual). I don't think it's an either/or thing. But OP, I definitely know your frustration. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:03:40 PM | | Women who like badboys can burn in hell.I am not a badboy but I am physically strong and mentally strong and I'm certainly not going to go "badboy" to attract some worthless whore because those are typically the type of women who are into the badboy thing. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:54:09 PM |
I hear all the time on here and from male friends the whole thing about how women never seem to want a "nice guy" ... they go for the "bad boys", the a$$holes, the scumbags, whatever else you wanna call 'em and pass up the good guys out there.
I just made a point in another post that I think a lot of men really, truly aren't interested in meeting that "nice, normal woman" that so many of them claim to be seeking. I have females friends who are NOTHING but drama queens and losers (yeah, great group of friends I have, lol) ... they whine and nag constantly ... they don't have any of their shyt together, can't keep a job, have three kids from three different men, can't pay their bills, mooch off their boyfriends, you name it, and ALL of them are in relationships with seemingly good guys. My female friends who own their own homes, have great jobs, have no kids, have never been married, have no skeletons in the closet, are sweet, witty, fun, easy-going, blah blah blah are ALL single and can't seem to meet quality men.
I wonder if this has more to do with the fact that the "good ones" are single because they're picky because they KNOW they're a great catch, or it's more that it comes down to men just doesn't want a "good girl". It's got me curious, what the heck is up with men passing up the good girls for the drama queens who are full of nonsense baggage?
It's simple.
Both the "bad boys" and the "drama queens" are approximations, often subclinical (but a lot of times not), of Cluster B personality disorders.
"Bad boys" approximate sociopaths. "Drama queens" approximate borderlines.
Both sociopaths and borderlines, and I also think their approximations, are very good at being charming and flirtatious. They can't do much else, though. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:53:03 PM | I've stopped wondering about such things.
Chances are, there's just as many couples out there who have their ducks in a row as those whose lives are a shambles. We only see those whose lives are crap and don't see who are the successes.
There's just as many successful couples as there are failures.
I just choose to see and emulate those who have made the right choices and try not to wonder about those others who make bad choices. It's a waste of my time trying to figure those things out.
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:19:32 AM | OP lets face it; most online and many in the real world go for one thing; looks; they want someone who is super hot and they will forgive all else. Look at all the posts of mindless young women with guys that are screwing multiple women, treat their girl like a dog, and if they break up the girl says, "I miss him so much; I love him". OMG.
Why do you think most women put up photos of themselves partying like rock stars in a club, in their best black dress or even being sexual with other girls in them? To attract the good looking frat boy type of guy that likes that.
and men are just as bad.
I remember talking to one girl once that was 26, had a good career, and probably was the most dyfunctional and strange person I've met in a long time. She's a mess. in fact I saw a profile of her still on here and if you read it, you'd think she was a great catch, when in reality she's an emotional wreck with tons of baggage.
The internet is a dangerous place to date. And many girls that also say they are so nice, need to realize they may think that, but when you talk to them they are difficult, self absorbed and abrasive. Again, it takes time to know someone and when you dont take that time to talk to them, you will get burned. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:22:37 AM | | Once again these ridiculous bimbos learn about real life real quick once they pop a kid from there cute little badboy and turn around he is nowhere to be seen, and they are stuck getting no child support and still whinning and crying for there little greasball badboy to come back to them. The best part is this type of woman is so intellectually deficient and shallow that it is a sure bet the next "boy" she hooks up with is the exact same type of loser...it goes on and on and on. Then when when she is a worn out hag at 40 she will still be looking for the badboy.... THESE LOSER WOMEN DESERVE WHAT THEY GET. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:37:02 AM | This thread reminds me of a girl's profile I came across where she said she wanted a "soft hearted bad boy".
I contacted her and told her that a person like that doesn't exist.
At first she thought I was trying to be mean but then I further explained the cycle I see how girls go for the bad boy and then complain that "everyone they date turns out to be an @sshole"... well that's what you get when you go for the Bad Boy/Drama Queen.
She simply wasn't aware of the cycle... but I pointed it out and then discussed with her what she really really wanted out of a guy day-to-day... and she changed her profile accordingly.
Nice girl... unfortunately she wasn't local to me.
Many people just do things without realizing what they are doing and it takes an outside influence to make them realize. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:28:39 PM | Life experience and adventure do not come from no-nonsense/'good' people.
I don't believe that myself ... I am trying to raise 3 of my own no-nonsense, 'good' people, complete with life experience and adventurous souls, but this is honestly how I interpret the cycle of bad boys/drama queens AND bad girls/drama kings.
The idea of people constantly complaining about those they absolutely CAN'T STAND, I believe is the concept of 'mirroring'. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:55:15 PM | | Most people are suckers for anyone with a nice shape and good fashion sense no matter what the their personality is like. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:04:28 AM | I like the idea of a guy that is normal on the outside, and crazy fun inside. Vanilla is alright as a flavor for ice cream or condoms, but not for a person. Being able to express oneself (especially for a woman) sexually is not a bad thing. I will take a Neapolitan type of man any day! Tasty!    | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:15:00 PM | Bad Boys annoy the hell out of me. I had my share. The last guy was a bad boy and a drama queen. How'd u like them apples? Talk about the baggage from that concoction. What a live one that was.  | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:26:57 PM | Interesting thread.
I'm lucky enough to be attracted to nice girls with lots of intelligence and education. And they like me, too. It's a wonderful life. | |
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:06:41 PM | Who said good guys are soft weak and unable to speak up for themselves .Good does not necessarily mean weak. I consider myself a good guy but I am a spiritual person I don't like drama I tell the truth I don't like to argue I rather discuss something. I learned how to compromise on things that I can be flexible on. There are things I will never compromise you can be a good guy and have standards. What your really speaking of is weak willed individuals not good guys. The distinction is obvious if your take the time to make it. Does the fact that I am adventurous in bed put me in another light. I don't get the lableing crap anyway Bad people are bad be they man or woman but being good is considered weak somehow and I just can't relate to that. I understand the need of people to lable things but sorry my square peg don't fit any of your round holes.
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| Bad boys and drama queens
Posted: 7/28/2009 10:41:03 PM | Once again these ridiculous bimbos learn about real life real quick once they pop a kid from there cute little badboy and turn around he is nowhere to be seen, and they are stuck getting no child support and still whinning and crying for there little greasball badboy to come back to them. The best part is this type of woman is so intellectually deficient and shallow that it is a sure bet the next "boy" she hooks up with is the exact same type of loser...it goes on and on and on. Then when when she is a worn out hag at 40 she will still be looking for the badboy.... THESE LOSER WOMEN DESERVE WHAT THEY GET. The Village People called they need their leather chaps back, roids free Yeahhhh | |
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