| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:47:30 PM | I think it is soooo important. I think it shows respect for a woman and her feminity. I am a hopeless romantic, which also helps fuel my desire for chivalrous men. I say, keep up the chivalry!!
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:53:29 PM | | It's hit or miss these days whether the woman appreciates chivalrous gestures when dating, but a gentleman will act as he feels right because he can do no less. The key, I think, is to extend courtesy without conditions or obligations. If a man can open a door for a woman he should do so whether or not she wishes to pass through. Also, even if a woman does not put out, the man should still pull her chair out from under her as she goes to sit down. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:16:12 PM | I LOVE CHIVALRY!
I love manners!
I love having my doors opened for me, my chair pulled out, the man walking on the outside with me (closest to the street for those who don't know), he tucks my hand into his arm, he guides me with a hand on my back toward where we are to go, he leads when we dance, he instructs the server on what we've agreed to at dinner, he buys me dinner, and he comes to get me for a date. He phones first and approaches first.
He is considerate of his language in front of me and is the first to assist me if someone is hard-timing me. He also is not pushy for sex until I am ready.
This has been going around for a long time...way before the fifties. Women have been cherished/valued and I like being cherished/valued.
I am a very intelligent woman, self-sufficient and have good self-esteem. In fact, I am considered a strong woman.
Chivalry is something that brings the soft woman out in me.
It's a good thing.  | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:30:07 PM |
Also, even if a woman does not put out, the man should still pull her chair out from under her as she goes to sit down.
farceur:
That begs the question, "Should he push it back in, before she sits back down? | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:45:11 PM | It's such a turn on when a man is chivalrous. I don't think it's demeaning...any man who behaves in this manner toward women (and all people, but particularly women) just look like they were raised right, that's all. They look like they know how to treat a woman and that is definitely, again, a turn on!! Please guys, I wish more of you would act this way lol.
Women really do go through a lot to impress and be presentable to men (in terms of dating), the least you could do is open a door for us! | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:48:52 PM | Oh and to you davidj23, ...
I'm so sick of men ****ing about "equality". Why can't women be equal? Women should have the same rights as men, AND should be able to have doors opened and chairs pulled out for them. We don't have tho choose between having the job we want and being treated with respect by men. I don't get this shit, seriously...what does a woman being INDEPENDENT have to do with you being a GENTLEMAN??!! Are you serious?!
What are women supposed to do? Tie themselves to a train track and wait for some man to come and rescue her? I just don't get what your problem is with women having equal rights, and being treated decently as human beings. Men try to keep women down because they know that we are sacred and a force to be reckoned with. That's what oppression is...a fear of a people, and trying to keep them down because of this fear and insecurity...that they will rise and be equal to or even more successful than you. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:20:55 PM | Boudiaca nd Angel,
You guys must be strong women....anyone who states in fora that they appreciate chivalry...and the motions that a chivalirous man goes thru....is just askin for the feminist and equal rights men to bash the snot outta them.
But, then who would be out there for me? if not for women like u's? | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:47:45 PM | | if you are equal and independent then you dont need entitlements. Simple as that, you are either equal or not you cannot live in the old fashioned and new age world at the same time. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:54:02 PM | msg 38:Yeah, from my experience, this is what guys who like to live off women say.
Good scapegoat for having bad behavior and being a user. Perfect badboy ploy, for those men who don`t want any responsibility, or do anything for a woman. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:54:19 PM |
I'm so sick of men ****ing about "equality". Why can't women be equal? Women should have the same rights as men, AND should be able to have doors opened and chairs pulled out for them. We don't have tho choose between having the job we want and being treated with respect by men. I don't get this shit, seriously...what does a woman being INDEPENDENT have to do with you being a GENTLEMAN??!! Are you serious?!
What are women supposed to do? Tie themselves to a train track and wait for some man to come and rescue her? I just don't get what your problem is with women having equal rights, and being treated decently as human beings. Men try to keep women down because they know that we are sacred and a force to be reckoned with. That's what oppression is...a fear of a people, and trying to keep them down because of this fear and insecurity...that they will rise and be equal to or even more successful than you.
I think men are just as concerned with equal rights then women are. But then we get confused why some women want unequal treatment when it comes to everything else besides employment ( Among other things )
Tell you the truth I do feel a bit uncomfortable in this day and age to pull a chair out for a woman when she is perfectly able to do it for herself.
It should be courteous to help any gender when they NEED it. I hold a door open for someone if their arms are full. If someone is disabled I will pull out a chair out for someone. That is something that everyone should do.
To me being a gentlemen means doing something she can't do by/for herself. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 4:56:49 PM | ameliamd, you have wisdom beyond your years.
I believe strongly that a major criteria that makes a woman feel loved is being respected. It was part of the female's gender makeup, long before chivalry, but the ideal of chivalry was about respecting women. (The 'ideal' being the way it is now portrayed, not how it may have actually been in the middle ages.)
Women evolved needing a strong male for protection, while pregnant and during the early years of nurturing her young; while they weren't able to fend for themselves. She had to know her mate would be there throughout that time and that meant that she had to trust that he felt her special enough to want to be her protector; her provider.
Needing to feel special meant needing to feel respected above all others. She learned to trust that he understood her need to feel cared for, protected, treasured, nurtured, provided for, cherished. His being trustworthy made her feel special; respected above all others.
Today, in our modern age, a man who is a lover of women will know these things. (Every age was modern, while it was going on.)
When a man has the love of a woman, which in his mind is her trust, appreciation, and acceptance, he will build her up, not tear her down. Showing respect, in fact, teaching her to always insist on it, puts her on a pedestal that shows her she is special, cherished, and that he knows how she functions; that he understands her.
It builds her esteem. It helps her reach her self actualization. A good lover of women will help her protect her autonomy and reach her full potential as a woman. That in turn, helps him realize his masculinity.
The greater the woman, the greater the esteem in which he is held by those in his social strata. What was the attraction of Cleopatra, but that she was a superior woman, who made Mark Anthony look greater to those around him.
When I walk into a restaurant with my beautiful woman, sure, people notice her beauty, her grace, and even recognize her air of deep intelligence.
But when they look at me, and know she is mine, the single thought in their brain that radiates throughout the room is "He must really have character."
You're right, amelia! Keep insisting on being respected. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:07:19 PM | I used the term guys because I got the crap bashed out of me for using the word gals....apparently gals is a demeaning word to some...and not wishing to offend anyone...any more than normal...I used the word guys...
Of course, the person who was offended by the word gals....is a psycho crazy woman...aside from that she was a nice poster... | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:11:36 PM |
TopChuck needs to change his name to SirTenderloin!
I fell asleep in the middle of his post .. What did he say...? And more importantly ...What are you trying to do to that dolphin..? | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:18:50 PM | Grassroots equality....EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
The right to vote
The right to work outside the home or stay at home.
The right to have a say and do anything political, educational, and legally.
The right to have Human Rights accorded to us.
The right to equal pay for equal work.
To go the extra distance and say that we think the same as men, act the same as men, react the same as men, love the same as men in an emotional and intellectual sense is just being uneducated. We simply don't.
What shows up different physically on us (penis, vagina et al) is also different in our emotional and intellectual make-up.
It does NOT make us less intelligent. It does not make one of us have emotions and the other doesn't. It's in how we react or act out that the differences are there.
Courting is one of the biggest differences between us. Sex and it's drive.
To make a woman think like a man...or to make a man think like a woman is just insanity and brings dysfunction to the genders.
I happen to like being treated as special...just like men like to be treated as special in their own male way.
I like that a man enjoys treating me like he values me. It is also HIS enjoyment. Why take it away from him when YOU don't understand the pleasure he gets from it.
I GET IT. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:35:10 PM |
To go the extra distance and say that we think the same as men, act the same as men, react the same as men, love the same as men in an emotional and intellectual sense is just being uneducated. We simply don't.
To make a woman think like a man...or to make a man think like a woman is just insanity and brings dysfunction to the genders.
It seems some people try to separate genders, and the way they think, into two separate groups ( Obviously Men or women ). Instead of letting them think as separate individuals. I can tell you not all women think the same way or men for that matter. I find a lot of men & women share too much of the same thoughts and ideas that can't be explained away as gender specific. | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:41:04 PM | What did he say...? And more importantly ...What are you trying to do to that dolphin
I believe Chuck was affirming what Amelia said which was really great, I agree with them. Amelia's explanation (and Bodacia's too as I said somewhere else) of the difference between equality for women in the workplace does not mean being treated with disrespect. That works both ways, respect begets respect.
As for the dolphin, I was told I shouldn't have grabbed his fins the way I did but I was so enthusiastic about saying hello he didn't really mind. That's really true!
What's chivalry..? Is that a type of wine..? I don't care what type of wine she drinks..
Not caring is not chivalry, but you may want to try and sell that wine.
P.S I have a new book tittle. "How to crack open a strong woman"
A book that will sell well, assuming there's a market for it! lol | |
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| How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/18/2009 5:57:52 PM | | What I enjoy about behaving in a chivalrous manner is seeing the pleasure it gives the woman I'm with. Generally they just light up, as if they're experiencing something that it's been a long time since they've enjoyed. And, frankly, it appeals to my sense of "protector." If I hold open a door for a woman a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier she's still thrilled. They enjoy the fact that a guy did that for them. It's both the act itself and the consideration it signifies. So, I do it for a woman's pleasure. And she might massage my back or make me chili for my pleasure. It's fun to all play together nicely. | |
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