| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:32:00 PM | I don't miss sex so much as intimacy. I had a good sexual life with my former wife--in fact, I think it was splendid. That part of our relationship worked--at least until I took medication.
As I said, I miss physical initmacy, touching, aromas, and just being with a lover. I am 66 now and I think that I could live the rest of my life celibate though I hope not--at least, sometimes. However, I did have a great sex life for a long time. I treasured it.
Thanks for the posts. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:48:02 PM |
I have been celibate.... Have any of you similar experiernces?
Only when I was married...
Actually, after one particular b/f, despite me doing the dumping, I went 6 years before I could even contemplate another guy and the only reason I did is because I knew there was no going back... it was time to move on. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/18/2009 3:13:27 PM |
You are not alone. I don't know about meds. But I do know that years can roll into one another and before you know it you can't believe how much time has passed. Today is a new day and you are alive. Anything is possible.
Anytthing is possible until you realize the things you want to do cost money and you can't make enough money to do those things despite efforts to over the years so time drifts by and you get more depressed. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/18/2009 10:05:18 PM | I do not understand this. You are a member of a site, where sex can easily be obtained. Even tho, many on her are actually looking for the elusive LTR, there are also many on here, that will 'settle' for a strictly sexual thing, while waiting. Over the years, I have had one 18 month relationship from this site, and currently in a live-in LTR, found here, however there have been many fvck buddy meetings from this site, as well. If you are not troll ugly, have good hygene, and can write interesting emails, there is no reason for unwanted celebacy, while on this site! Get that 17 yr hard out of your hand, and write some of your local ladies on here! Trust me, some of them want sex, every bit as much as you do!  | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:13:44 AM | I went 12 years celibate..........then I turned 13 and had me an awesome 16 year old girlfriend :)
Sex is like air and water..............it ain't no big deal unless you are NOT getting any !
But seriously as I get older it's more about intimacy than gratification. I find that the sex that went along with a LTR was the most meaningful and gratifing.
Never would consider a hooker........not my idea of a great encounter.
A hot cheerleader sounds sooooo much better ! Hey I'm not too picky, if you can shake your pom poms I'll pretend you are a cheerleader.
Gooooooooooooooo Viagra ! | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:00:29 AM | "I went celibate once....man that was the longest two days of my life."
Reminds me of the story about the archbishop who replied when asked if priest ever thought about sex. His reply, "Until 15 minutes after death." | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:41:35 AM |
I do not understand this. You are a member of a site, where sex can easily be obtained. Even tho, many on her are actually looking for the elusive LTR, there are also many on here, that will 'settle' for a strictly sexual thing, while waiting. Over the years, I have had one 18 month relationship from this site, and currently in a live-in LTR, found here, however there have been many fvck buddy meetings from this site, as well. If you are not troll ugly, have good hygene, and can write interesting emails, there is no reason for unwanted celebacy, while on this site!
Really? I think I fit all the criteria but I still haven't met anyone from this site or the others I joined...  | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:45:27 AM | It's been a couple of years, not 17, but I'll admit it. I miss sex and I'm horny!  | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:02:34 PM | mis contemplative.......
no way, no way, no way, are you even a bit overweight....
hot, hot, hot.....
I likee, I likee, I likee | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:48:38 PM | My former wife and I had large libraries on romantic love. She had her library and I had mine, which, I suppose, was an indication of some differences.
She had books with titles such Steven Carter and Julia Sokol’s "Men Who "Can't Love" and I had books such as those by Ethel Person’s “Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters: The Power of Romantic Passion” and Stephanie Covington’s “Leaving the Enchanted Forest”. I read Irving Singer’s volumes in “The Nature of Love”. Linda read Thomas Patrick Malone and Patrick Thomas Malone’s “The Art of Intimacy” along with books on Wilhelm Reich and books by therapists influenced by his work.
The topics overlapped, but I suppose tones differed. If reading could have saved us, we would have made it, but reading did not save our relationship. Being good lovers is not necessarily a foundation for a successful marriage.
I never intended to be celibate after divorce. I am not certain why that happened. I think casual sexual relations was not what I wanted. However, I just never found a relationship to replace the one lost and that probably has, in part, do do with my realization that I might not be a good companion for someone. It has to do with honesty--maybe.
Sex is easy to understand. Romantic love remains a mystery to me. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:20:54 PM | Good for you OP. I'm celibate by choice, do I miss it, yes. Do I need it? No. Sex is over-rated. Look at all these people that cant fathom living life without...goes to show some have nothing else worth-while going for them.
Its not going to kill anyone by not doing it. In fact, I needed "me" time after a break up and went 2.5 years. Broke my streak and decided I was having more fun before and went back to the no sex thing. Yes it gets tough sometimes but no one "needs" it.
Although let me bring up, if you've been on anti-depression meds this long, there is a more serious problem than no sex. Talk to a chiropractor, I know it sounds weird but chiropractic helps depression, its how I got over mine. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:32:33 PM |
Sex is easy to understand. Romantic love remains a mystery to me. It's the opposite for me. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 2:34:18 PM |
and write some of your local ladies on here! Trust me, some of them want sex, every bit as much as you do!
That's the spirit!!!! | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:23:46 PM | | I don't think I could last that long. I did the celibacy thing for nearly 2 years just to see if I could hold out that long. Probably won't happen again. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:54:20 PM | | For the women who "could not go past x amount of time without sex"...if you are not in a relationship, what do you do? | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:11:34 PM | Well, sex not being a really high priority for me, I can go without for years, and have. Was celibate from 17-21, 21 to 36, 36-40, and I'm back on the wagon.
Do I miss it, sometimes. Do I need it? no. And I'm sick and tired of bad sex, so the next time, if there ever is one, will be with someone I can't wait to rip the clothes off, not just because it's been a while and I want to see if I have cobwebs.
Oh, and for cosmicmisfit, if not in a relationship, there's always the self love option. Or random sex. Just like for everyone else. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:22:12 PM |
Have any of you similar experiences?
Heck no. I think even Michael Hustence and David Carradine (with their paraphilias) were better off than you are; but to each his own.  No, not many have similar non-experiences to yours. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:24:40 PM |
Really? I think I fit all the criteria but I still haven't met anyone from this site or the others I joined...
Perhaps your emails are only interesting to "you?" It does take more than one short message, asking "Hey, wanna get it on?" As hard as sum guys seem to find it, women really do have brains & expect to be amused a bit, at the least, before dropping their linen. Meeting someone from the dating sites only requires a bit of intelligent emailing & making the to travel to a meet, in my experience. Heck, I've even had 3-4 who came to me. Of course, I deal with my own locality, too. Anybody over 50m away, I ignore, no matter how hot! T. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:46:16 PM | | Being celibate is easy. I just think about all the diseases out there and that pretty much kills all my desires. I don't know of anyone who has ever died from not having sex. I became celibate after becoming single and moving to Florida while my kids were little. I think I've probably had sex 4 times since 1994. None of them memorable, so for me its easier to be celibate because when I go through the trouble of taking off my clothes for a man it had better be worth it. I'm also in the dying breed of people who believe sex should be part of a committed and trusting relationship. I've never had a one night stand and never plan to. For me sex is a big deal and I'm not going to give it up to just anyone. | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:07:53 PM | Ted,
No, I can't say that I have. While you won't actually DIE without sex, there will be many times you'll have wished you had died after such prolonged celibacy. Human beings simply aren't meant to do that, or be alone for that matter. Sure, you can go a few years being SINGLE, view it as a break from any emotional or mental issues that arose during a failed relationship, still, that is no reason to not pursue sex. It's just not a healthy thing to do, prolonged celibacy.
On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with abstaining from sex with a woman that really does not click with you, that is a healthy choice, but still, the "pond" as it were is stocked full of very excellent candidates in which fine intimacy can be had. There is nothing wrong with entertaining "Ms. Right Now" until "Ms. Right" happens along. The law of averages says she will too! Having said that, I am convinced that you have done more to AVOID intimacy than you have to ALLOW intimacy. I just don't see this as a good thing in any aspect and especially for such a hellish prolonged duration.
Ted, get out there and go feed your johnson. Both you and your johnson will be all the happier for it.
Now, go get 'em, tiger! | |
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| Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:44:35 AM |
I've never had a one night stand ...
Trick is to go back for seconds... heck, make a weekend out of it. | |
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