| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:56:47 AM | | Here's a question for you to ask yourself.. do you want to be in a relationship with a person who is willing to cheat ? If she is willing to cheat on the person she is with to be with you, if you ever do end up together.... well... use that yardstick to measure her moral compass. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:08:53 AM | | Do you think if she wasn't already "taken" you'd be as interested? Do you think she would be? She feels "safe" around you because you are a decent man; some men would not be so "decent." If she's really committed in a relationship she would A. stop seeing you. B. tell her boyfriend about it. C. tell you it can only be friends. It's her leading you on. No wonder you're confused. She is too. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:54:21 AM | You KNOW this is a bad idea, go with your gut feeling. From experience I have learned that one who is not satisfied with the one they are with are not missing something from an other but from deep within themself. If it takes more than one man to make her happy, she is broken and YOU CAN'T FIX HER!!
I do NOT believe that this in your ONLY chance for happiness, unless you are giving up. If she has respect for herself, she will do the honorable thing and choose just one of you. However, there is a great chance that if she selects you, and the grass is not greener on your side of the fence, she shall leave you for the other man. If he is smart, he will say no and she will then have no one and hopefully forced to take a look inside. There are a lot of trust issues at stake here. How would you feel if you were in the other man's shoes? How will you look at yourself in the mirror knowing you were a part of this? What would you want your daughter to do??
Please, PLEASE be careful. Are you willing to lower your standards or are they always this low? I am sure they are not. You sound like a man with integrity and a woman's dream. We look on here for what? It is difficult to find the right one. If she is the right one, you all will do the right thing, but it is all up to HER!!!
Stop meeting her and do not set yourself up for temptation. You are emotionally involved with her and you are not available to anyone on here. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:50:48 AM | Thee is a wise old saying "He who steals a puss steals shit" Or is it Purse? Either way it can set a negative president in your relationship if you are involved in cheating.
I stole my wife of 18 years from a guy who treated her badly. I made sure she knew and felt the strong sexual attraction between us but did not act on it until she asked for the divorce. Not on moral grounds but because I wanted her to know that I can be trusted even with a naked woman in my arms who wants me deep inside of her very badly.
When you care about her and you know what is right for you do it and nothing else or you give up who you are. If you want to play horndog, ( As I have been too ) just know what you are choosing and go for it. To yourself be true and have no regrets. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:08:27 PM | You just want what you can't have. Once you get it, the grass won't look so green. You love the excitment and the thought of some hot sex is really stroking your fire.
The long and short of it is, that neither of you are emotionally available, and doing everyone you deal with / or meet a dis service. Why are you on POF claiming to be looking for Ms. Right when you are clearly pining for another?
You're both playing games with people's emotions and y'all better stop before some serious damage is caused, or someone gets shot!!! | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:28:14 PM | | Ugh. Please heed my warning. Do not do this. It will end badly. I did it. Oh my, did I do it. He was my (sorta) friend's babies' daddy. I'm a heathen. We had wonderful chemistry. We were friends, and it turned out the sex was fabulous. He finally left her to move in with me. You can't imagine the drama and hell that followed. We hurt my (sorta) friend terribly and she didn't let go easily (of course) after she caught us together. He and I were together for three years. He cheated on me constantly. Finally asked him to leave, and he moved to another state. Three days later I found out I was pregnant with his child. Our child is nearly a year and a half now. And the saga continues... | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:37:48 PM | | She may feel like your soul mate etc. I cannot say what you should do but since you've had this experience before the best thing to do would be look to those times for insight. Actually find others who've also had similar experiences because wisdom comes from that, they may be able to offer more judgement which is sounder. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:50:08 PM | If she wants you why is she with him?
If she will cheat on him with you, who will she cheat on you with while you are taking your last chance at happiness?
I am not judging.... you asked a question | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:55:40 PM | This is a bad idea, for one very good reason. If you cheat, even for her, neither of you will ever forget it. Your morals are never a good thing to forfeit, even for love. If you do eventually get together and it's over cheating and some day you start to have problems then you'll both remember the cheating and wonder if you could cheat once what's to stop you from cheating again.
Not to mention, I hope you realize you two might simply be attracted to each other so much because it is so excited because you know you shouldn't. Once that spark dissipates how do you know there will be any true feelings once that disipates? | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:02:40 PM | EarthFire is absolutely right! You just want what you don't have - the friendship connection is great and you THINK the sex will be too. What if it isn't?! What if it's just ok...then where's does that leave the friendship?
She sounds like the type that settled for Mr. AlmostRight while keeping one eye open for Mr. EvenMoreRight (YOU!). What if you're NOT? Her quest would continue. What if you are? But....she encounters someone with something she didn't even know she wanted? Continuously looking for an upgrade is a serious character flaw!
We can't always get what we want - and that's a good thing! Cuz, if you WAIT sometimes, you discover...you didn't really need it anyway. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:56:57 AM | | She ain't married. "If he liked it then he should have put a ring on it." Just go ahead and hit it. Girls cheat on their boyfriends all the time. I know, because I'm the one causing them to cheat! Just don't fall in love or anything, because if she cheats on him, she'll cheat on you. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:15:27 AM |
war1977: And I don't care who you are, when a hot woman kisses you, you don't pull away. So we haven't done anything since then, but we talk about our attraction to one another.
Sonny, you are being played.
There is nothing that makes dogs feel more powerful than chasing cars that keep running away.
Think of yourself as a passing car.
However you will deserve all of the heartache that comes your way when the other "relationship" wins the day. And it will, or you wouldn't be posting this. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:55:50 PM | So, I have scanned almost 40 messages & don't think anybody has even raised the possibility of approaching this whole problem (& 000,000,s more) from a starightforward position of ethical, open, concensual non-monogamy .... dah, what a concept!
Everyone talks openly; expresses their open, honest & true feelings - including their NRE (we know what that is right?) and collectively bounderies are agreed & set. & then everybody sticks to the agreed boundaries.
This gets rid of this lying & cheating nonsense & could go a very long way to addressing the escalating divotce rate in the western world - we have, I gather on good authority, now passed the 51% mark & that is just the divorce rate - NOT the cheat rate - heavon knows where that is currently! But, if we could get things out in the open, discus with honesty and be authentic, then maybe the divorce rate may pause & start to retreat - what a concept! | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:01:29 PM | | i hear ya on that situation .... but, do you think if you two went "there" that it could be "happiness" ? which stranger things have happened :-) is she someone you could trust IF you two go "there" ?? what IF that was your girlfriend ?? hope it all works out ! :-) | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:47:55 PM | Youre so funny...lol The bad idea is your own brain shouting the answers for you.Your conscence speaking to save you...and what are you doing seeing this married woman anyway!!??? shes game playing...and just because shes cute and nice,shes made her choice or she wouldnt be with him!
Youre letting the chemistry take over your reason ....its not worth it even though you think it will be...getting deeper into quicksand darling.
What does SHE think shes playing at?? l wouldnt like MY partner seeing another woman unless its family or someone for business purposes.
People that have lots of carisma often do this to people around them...its a game of "l could have him anytime l want"....some people arent happy with who they are already with.....l call those people "Hunters" shes still hunting.
ld never go for a married man...its about having rules for yourself in a relationship.l wouldnt invite it.l was married 17 years and never thought of another man.
You should seperate yourself from her and she is holding you back from finding someone accessable.:) | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:37:13 PM | | DON'T. In the end, you will have nothing to show for it. She will stick with this guy for appearances and you will be empty handed. She will be unhappy and you will be empty handed. She will live a double standard and you will be empty handed. That said, soul search it. She needs to decide first. What these Ladies have said is right. I understand that kind of attraction, I've been there, but if she is in a relationship she is willing to go out on, she needs to clean up her house, if you know what I mean. You will both regret it, don't do it to yourself, don't do it to her. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:03:40 PM | | DO NOT DO IT...... WRONG, WRONG, WRONG..... BAD IDEA, BAD IDEA!!!!!!! How many times do you have to hear it from everyone. Even you know its a bad idea and wrong. Karma is a b---# and it will bite you back three times worse. If you do it and end up together, you will be wondering if she is cheating on you because of what she did. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:00:14 PM | | If you aren't married, or at least engaged, the fact is you and your partner are both "available", technically. I see nothing wrong with the OP going out and meeting up with the object of his attraction. If the woman's boyfriend wanted her "off the market", he should have put a ring on her finger. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:30:07 PM | Only you know whether or not it's a good idea. I say go ahead, do it, it might be great!
Sure there'll be complications, but you're a grown up and can deal with it. The other guy is the only fool here. The sooner you two do it, the sooner you set him free.
Let us know if it was as good as you thought it would be! | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:14:37 AM | | been there, at first she was married, just the most incredible down to earth woman i have ever met, married to an a hole, [i did nothing]she got a divorce, but lost rack of her. ,we had been friends for a few years by then, met up with her while she was dating a friend, which is when we realized we felt the same way, this friend she was dating i had known him longer, the conflict of but this is my friend and i cannot... i quit hanging around my friend [because even my dog knows when i am lying] they broke up, i looked for her...a long time off and on over the years, no luck... and to this day, on the days that when i think about it, i don't have regret, i keep hoping i can find another friend 1/2 as good someday... but being married say no | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:35:56 AM | | If u dont expect anything serious go for it. Just remember if she breaks up with him and gets with u-chances are u 2 will break up the same way-with her kissin on a new male friend | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:57:15 AM |
Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
This is a good one how? How does this differ from the hundreds of other threads on "to cheat or not to cheat"?
It comes down to this, if you want to take the risk and she does too, then go for it but obviously you are aware of the possible consequences. If you want to pursue in a wise way, then both of you should free yourselves from obligations to others before proceeding. There's no reason to hurt a third party. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 6:06:47 AM | There is some great advice on this thread.
Op, the best way to handle it is to tell her that if the two of you want to give it a shot then she's going to have to break it off with the other guy.
Sure, it's tempting, it's fun, it's hard to break away from a hot chick who is showing interest in you but show some restraint.
Pursuing this woman while she's in a relationship is wrong on so many levels, and like many have said, it's quite possible that her apparent feelings and attraction for you aren't even real. One way to "put her to the test" is to lay it on the line and see where she goes with it. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for a world of pain as well as interfering with the relationship between two other people. | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:22:13 AM | [ "did I mention this is a bad idea? ...]]
Go with your gut feeling on this one...you'll have 2 less black eyes from the otherguy she is WITH.
[ "But you see, the thing is, she is in a relationship..." ]
Knock, knock...anybody home?
Didn't you just say she was in a relationship? If it is meant to be, wait until she is SINGLE. Then you will be free to enjoy your chance at happiness.
It's always more fun when 'we can't have it' and when you can... it will most likely fizzle within a short period of time.
There are plenty of available fish out there you know!?  | |
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| Listen up Folks, This is a good one!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:36:06 AM | Hmmmm I am not sure.. If the two of you are attracted to each other so much that you cant get it out of your head adn you are afraid to meet anywhere other than in public. One she is not being fair to her man regardless due to these feelings. She either has to end it and figure this out or just do it...
I think the two of you need to get together, get your groove on, see if it what you think it is... If so then you can move forward and if not atleast you know.
She cant be 100% happy in her current relationship if she is kissing you. She already crossed that line may as well know what is for real now.
JUST DO IT! | |
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