| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:08:44 PM | I can't say that it is rude to not respond. If you are their type, then good. If you aren't, you aren't. No feelings hurt, no time wasted.
I will say this. Simple emails that say hello, or saying what's up, or even Hi I think you are beautiful...these messages don't stand out. If a person is truly beautiful just imagine that they get plenty of emails all the time. Responding to each one will get redundant.
Instead try to be original and show some creativity. I had a man write me a poem...just about me. I thought how cute and romantic, although he wasn't someone I would initially be attracted to he surely caught my attention and made me want to know more about him.
So if you didn't get a response. Please don't be mad. They really aren't that interested in you or you just didn't say something original to stand out from the crowd. Either way, you can still continue your life as it was.
Happy Fishing! | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:05:17 PM | The more revealing a woman is in her picture
has a direct ratio to the number of emails she will recieve
and the number or ratio she will respond to
So guys to improve your response ratio look
for the women in turtlenecks or big sweater | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:45:20 PM |
You need to grow a thick skin when entering the world of internet dating. - truer words have never been typed
Many people ( men and women alike) feel because they are hidden behind a pc, they are invisible and can be rude or hurtful to people who contact them, without consequences. I believe there are consequences to my actions, so I act accordingly, because karma is a b*.
I have had nasty responses to "No TY's" - I simply ignore them and block that person from contacting me again. If they are lewd and crude emails - I block that person immediately, because their lack of respect towards me does not deserve a good mannered response.
I had a man send me a very short email to say hi and he would be attending an event I was going to.. I sent him a nice reply back . We have met and been out twice now, talking every day on the phone. He is a super nice man and if I had insisted on only replying to long emails, I would have missed out on meeting him. I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow. Be polite when greeted with politeness - it costs only a few seconds of your time. There are some really great people here that you could be missing out on meeting. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:37:53 AM | I think that if someone takes the time to read your profile and email you, it is only good manners to respond to them, even if it's only a simple 'thank you for your comment.' Doesn't mean you have to continually engage in conversation if you find you are not interested...but isn't "communication" the reason we are all on here?
Or is this just a huge skank-fest?
...well...that's my two cents worth for today!
Willow
happy fishing | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:20:25 AM | | Do I have to post pictures of me shirtless in order to get attention cause it seems that is the only way ANYONE would ever respond to my messages. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:53:36 AM |
Other posters have stated you get what you give, and I agree.
If a guy sends me a horribly mashed out attempt, that obviously hasn't read my profile or is using filler to get to the minimum message requirements, the only response will be read/deleted. I do not owe him the effort of a reply, no more than a guy that's screaming something rude from a passing car.
If they have taken the time to read my effort, and have put forth an effort, I will reply in kind.
I am somewhat in agreement with Mae. I am sick to death of copy and paste messages where there's no indication at all that the person read my profile. I have put effort in writing my profile to give the reader a glimpse of who I am. A copy and paste is usually all about them and what they are looking for and completely oblivious to know me as a person.
I don't read/delete unless a message is rude but copy/paste e-mails and those that make me wonder if they even scanned my profile - well, I reply depending on my mood: sometimes I call them on it and sometimes I just reply we're not a match.
Is it really that difficult to show genuine interest in getting to know a woman past her picture? | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:14:02 PM | OK, but what is this REALLY about though, acknowledgment? Or validity. We all have varying opinions of what is worthy, as a general view, and to ourselves, and usually there are enough people that agree to warrant discussions like this, but the point remains the same.
Just because you want something, doesn't mean you're going to get it. And just because you don't get it, doesn't mean that you being denied, was wrong.
A rant I often fall back on, but a good rant all the same is that people are nothing but animals with an affinity towards thinking too much and dumping all major decisions on our big squishy feelings, but at the end of the day, your ability to "get with" the opposite sex is based on the same things; how bright your feathers are, and how useful you can be to that particular animal you lust for. That's really all there is to the match between 2 people.
I've had many a discussion with another (male) friend of mine on POF about how despite how clearly we represent the kind of people we are, and the kind of people we want, we continually get the direct opposite emailing us. I think one of the most clarifying points often made is how insulting it gets eventually to constantly feel categorized as less than we ourselves would believe we are, based on who we are pursued by, and what means are used to get our attention.
I think it's obvious that opposites can attract simply by filling in the spaces the other person may lack, but that usually doesn't involve fundamental issues, and on the flip side, most people, though they are more than happy to compromise on things, like the initial approach to be along their wavelength.
So why don't intelligent articulate people stick to emailing their own kind and mouth breathers do the same? I don't know, but I blame pictures, as it goes back to our first biological response, which is simply "YES, what you're saying is all well and good, BUT, would I hit that? Yay or nay" Lol, I just think if the answer is indeed a yay (yay!) then why not pretend you're an evolved creature and see if there are OTHER levels you could connect on..and if you can't, leave it alone! If you try your luck because you just can't help yourself, and you still get no response, that's your confirmation.
Don't make it about manners though. That's just not the truth. In fact, all the threads on these forums about manners are covers for the truth. It's not about what you consider good manners in life. It's about your expectations of how you feel you deserve to be treated, and if someone doesn't treat you that way, you waver in your opinion of yourself, and that just makes you scared, unsure, and mad. Admit it. Yes the world is better with pleases and thank yous, and lending a hand to your fellow man, but none of those things have anything to do with your sense of self.
Set standards all you like, but unless you meet the standards of a person you want, your standards are nothing but an ideal. Kind of like, well I'd like a corvette, but I can afford a corolla, so that is what I'll be driving!
I really don't think picking on people (like oblivion) who are stronger minded about what they prefer really makes anyone else look good either. If there are certain hobbies, habits, or personalities I can't tolerate,and I get annoyed they kept emailing me too! Also, some girls aren't really all that swayed if you think they're cute/pretty/gorgeous/sexy either. Especially after it's said about a million times, it really loses it's sparkle. Lots of women put up more revealing pictures of themselves because they want attention but also because that picture may make them feel good about themselves, may shine them in the light they feel they want to be seen in. We all have internal images of ourselves we try to match on the outside, but that doesn't mean that's all we're about, or that it's the first and/or only thing we want acknowledged.
It seems like the ones who are quick to single out someone else on here as petty or overly opinionated are envious usually of their balls to be able to say how they feel without fear of repercussion. Not everyone is politically correct, delicate with the word play or fears offending anyone. Why not try it on instead of ostracize it? Maybe it'll feel good. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:48:43 PM | | For a long time on here I didn't reply to a lot of messages but now I try harder. My thing is I hate hurting anyones feelings and I just dont know how to say thanks but no thanks. Oddly enough one guy who I did say Thanks but No Thanks to, I ended up going out with once. Maybe a great point of POF is that it broadens your horizons | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/18/2009 11:07:25 PM | I don't understand why people get so upset if someone doesn't respond to their e-mail. Seems needy if you ask me. I have several female friends who've shown me some of the e-mails they get. I've also seen some of the responses to a "not interested" e-mail back. For starters it seems that any response seems to implicate that it is ok to continue to e-mailing. Or they sometimes start sending insults. Would you want to have to deal with this? I've had a few women do the same thing to me after a polite "not interested" response.
You don't know these people and they don't know you. They "owe" you nothing. You may think they are rude for not responding to your e-mail, but try to remember some don't respond because they don't want to deal with the potential backlash for doing so. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:06:11 AM | I agree also with ^^^ . I use to reply and would get back insults and crude remarks. When I don't respond same outcome. So why bother....  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:24:54 AM | So, dizzy, there is no backlash from not responding at all? I would have thought that, if anything, without a definitive "no" people would just keep on emailing until they get a reply. People may not "owe" you a response but then you could say the same out of any human interaction. If someone approaches you in person with genuine interest and sincere intentions, without being crude or hurtful, it would be considered rude to outright ignore them.
Dealing with insults doesn't really bother me, especially when I know it's a natural reaction to being hurt/rejected. I have gotten nasty emails back myself when turning someone down and it has never phased me in the slightest; if anything, it has showed me what this persons true character is. I understand that it's easier to do nothing but it is definitely a cowards way out. If you put yourself out there to be emailed by the masses, deal with the consequences of your actions properly. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:02:37 PM | Think of it like this. If you are in a club and ask a girl to dance and she isn't into you than why would she dance with you? If a girl looks at your profile and you send her a message and she isn't into you for whatever reason, than why would she message you back? It only gives the impression to us guys that she "may" like me.
So I don't think it's rude if a girl doesn't send me a message back because atleast I know I'm not going to waste my time chatting to someone who isn't attracted to me.
First rule of dating is;
Swallow your pride
second rule of dating is don't take it personal. As men we rise and fall, we get stomped on and rejected but when you find that right girl who likes you and wants to be with you than all that rejection and embarrasment washes away in one swift wave like the tide over a sandy beach. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/20/2009 1:09:50 AM | "you would think it only polite to say thanks but no thanks. I don't get it either"
No reply IS "thanks but no thanks." Now you can get it.
You're welcome. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/21/2009 3:50:11 AM | ^^^Yes, FishOwl makes a valid point: "No reply IS thanks but no thanks," without the sometimes rude and often uncalled for comments that might be found in a rejection note.
I have been the recipient of more than a few emails that say little more than, "You're kinda cute," or "Wanna f*ck?" In my mind, neither of these merit a response, even though the first one is a complimentary one. At the same time, I have received some over the top, nasty, vile replies to my own well thought out notes of interest.
For me, if a man couldn't at least make reference to something we have in common, and thereby make it clear that he had actually read my profile, it is unlikely that I would reply to his email, negatively or positively.
I used to be one who got her sh*t in a knot stewing about the "no reply" phenomen, but it wasn't long before I came to understand that it was a much kinder form of rejection than a negative, often rude reply. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:39:10 PM | I reply to every email myself as well. I also will never turn someone a way for the simple fact, theres no reason people cant be friends either, right?
majority of women dont respond because it seems that they get flooded with emails, just dont take it personally
it is REALLY cool of the girls that DO write back even to say not interested, I always enjoy that air of respect from them | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/18/2009 6:08:56 PM | | Yes, its very rude not to respond, I don't understand it myself. Even if the e-mail is of bad taste and decorum it still deserves a response. If the person continues to be nasty and crude then just report them or block them, its too easy. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:26:33 AM | I think it is a bit rude, but also horribly limiting as well. If you think that everything about me is written in that message or in that profile page, you are mistaken. I have had far too rich a life and am more than can be written in a few paragraphs. Should you choose not to reply to find out more, then you may have missed out on something.
I think this place is more of a shopping center for some than anything else.
Women find the time to say 'Thank you" to a compliment they may receive in the real world, yet is seems difficult for them to do that here. That's okay. Anyone who cannot even reply to an email is really not the kind of woman I would be happy with anyway. If you ever wonder what happened to chivalry, it was killed and stomped on by rude indifference.
As for the women who have '500 emails to respond to', seriously....if I got 500 emails I promise one of them would be the one to get me off this site. But perhaps for some leaving is not the goal. | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:10:00 PM | Well yes not responding to someone who emails you is rude !
And yes most women are on here just to play online!
As anyone knows its the ol I'm a woman and your just a stupid male!
Women are better then any man and men should be happy if a woman replies at all.
Well I have and do reply nicely to every female who bothers to waste her time to email me .
Yes I had an email just the other day and was very polite in my reply but she seemed pissed at my nice reply !LOL
I guess I should have sent a nasty reply !LOL
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:57:33 AM |
And yes most women are on here just to play online!
As anyone knows its the ol I'm a woman and your just a stupid male!
Women are better then any man and men should be happy if a woman replies at all.
If that mindset of yours comes across in your messages to women participating here..well.... good luck with that!
Well I have and do reply nicely to every female who bothers to waste her time to email me .
Yes I had an email just the other day and was very polite in my reply but she seemed pissed at my nice reply !LOL
I guess I should have sent a nasty reply !LOL
Really now! :) | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:20:42 PM | On several occasions women have actually deleted their profiles after I have messaged them which makes me laugh, cause then they sign up under a different username a few days later and repeat the process all over again, I pity anyone who doesn't bother to take a minute out of their day to say they are not interested  | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:01:48 PM |
I pity anyone who doesn't bother to take a minute out of their day to say they are not interested
Pity? Really? As has been shown in this thread there are plenty of reasons some will justifiably not respond.
How do you figure it's worth wasting your time to a message like "nice tits. you interested in a **** ?" | |
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:42:43 PM | Well I know women send the same type of emails there nascar3!
I had one email me and say take me out & get me drunk cause she gets horny when she drinks !
My reply was sorry there has to be a coffee meet first before I even think about anything else including a first date.
Her reply was read & delete of my reply !LOL
But yes I do find most women are just on here because their bored .
If they answer email at all thats probbly very rarely done.
A lot of you pof members male & female tend to be desperate people and think who ever replies wants to date you or get into your pants!
Well I have never been desperate let alone dateless!
But then that whats seperates me from the rest of you !
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| Is it rude not to respond to an email???
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:24:42 PM |
lot of you pof members male & female tend to be desperate people and think who ever replies wants to date you or get into your pants!
Well I have never been desperate let alone dateless!
But then that whats seperates me from the rest of you !
I just had to quote this and repost it .... just so the rest of the masses can have a chuckle the second time around, or should I say the 20th???
In one word to that comment above.....bullocks!
90% of this pofers posts SCREAMS desperation!
And wait for it....he will come back with some kind of snide remark about me, cuz that is what richards do!
On topic, I reply to all emails, even to say thanks for saying hi, and I hope you have much success in your search. That reply is generally appreciated! It is nice to be acknowledged, even if there is no interest! | |
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