| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/13/2009 1:25:13 AM | I remember being at work some years ago and one of my co-workers was asking for relationship advice from a group of about seven of us. It struck me that every person in the group had been through at least one failed relationship! I suggested to this girl that she'd be better off seeking advice from people who had managed to maintain good relationships, rather than we of the damaged goods category.
To the OP, I could say you'll be fine, keep plugging, you're a good bloke, love will come along. I could tell him about the two simple principles I work on... "Say what you mean" and "Mean what you say". But does that work for me and will it work for him? As he's discovered, many of us have been here for quite a while and probably will be for the forseeable future. We now roam the forums and spread a mix of joy and good humour, or in some cases depression and bitterness to our fellow fish, but as they say... You wouldn't be dead for quids! ;-) | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/13/2009 3:11:15 AM | message 36, ran ran said:
"This is a really silly thread. Lovers don't want brutal honesty, they want poetry. The 'brutally honest' are nothing more than bubble-poppers and enemies of love. His friends got brutally honest with Don Quixote and it ruined him - another great lover gone - they won't be happy until there's nothing left but accountants and attorneys."
now that was very very funny! 
i see now where i have been going wrong all these years. bring on the poets and the baseball players!  | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:08:45 AM | | Older women don`t seem to want to bother with the process of finding a good mate. They want him to arrive at the door with a carriage, roses and a glass slipper. I have noticed too that many will stay in a crap relationship because it`s just too much trouble to find a new man. easy is always better it seems. Most really do seem to want a fairy tale and when they read a profile with reality in it they run thinking the handsome prince is still out there with the keys to the kingdom. I have been on several sites over the years and always mention i`m a good man and a bad boy yet i only get asked about the bad boy because they are afraid it will not be nights filled with poetry and wine under the moonlight. I of course run, who wants a woman who is not a bit adventurous? | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:12:12 PM | I'm an older woman and the LAST thing I expect is a carriage, roses, and a glass slipper.. process, there's a process? We have all had our share of "crap" relationships, so I don't buy it. Poetry, men read poetry? No way.
I posted my pic (such as it is) and was getting ALL kinds of " hey call me's" some were downright F'ed up as far as what they want to do. So I revised my profile..."let them no where you stand" I thought> GOOD Gravy! Now no one contacts me. LMAO I find this too funny. But then it is what it is. SOME men are looking for a quick roll without having to "grease the wheel" so to speak. Personally I want him to MEAN SOMETHING to ME before I "bed and breakfast " him. Looks don't matter, seriously. Not to me. He does however have to have a damn job, I work my rear off to pay my bills, I don't have time for a man who thinks he doesn't have to have a job. Retirees excluded.
Last but not least, adventurous, what all does that envolve anyway? I'm willing to try alot of things, but if ya want to rob the 5 and dime I am not your Thelma...... | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/25/2009 8:12:16 PM | | Artz....laughing...thank you so much for the sense of humor! I don't know why that struck my funny bone, it just sounded like such a guy thing to say! lol! | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:00:15 AM |
Older women seem consumed with the process, apparently hoping to avoid the consummation of the process.
Now seriously speaking most of the time there is zero chemistry.. It has little to do with trying to avoid the consummation process..
Just means you do not float her boat..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:19:59 AM | | Don't know what your other posted questions were (must've been of a sexual nature), but some people don't like to look too closely at themselves (or you). | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:39:48 AM | I'm with you about manuals...manuals for MEN, that is. If you think WE are hard to understand, relate to etc. be assured that it is just as difficult for us to get a handle on YOU guys! It is like visiting a foreign country without a phhrasebook.
At first, we're all just circling around each other (no--not like shark coming in for the kill!) not knowing what to say, do, reveal and when if at all. Sometimes its more like stumbling and mistakes and , sometimes funny, misunderstandings result And it really DOES get worse with age, as we all get more and more gunshy.
Stay with it and be patient and keep your sense of humor--it will start to make sense and work...even tho you're forced to work with that alien species called Women!
Good luck!!
Joanna | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:27:24 AM | OP...you have to have patience. There seems to be a larger percentage of misleading profiles than truthful ones on these sites, so most genuine men and women become more wary and ask more and more questions. You're more than entitled to ask your own questions as well. If someone takes offense, go on to the next, they obviously don't want close scrutiny for obvious reasons.
Yes we do become gun-shy, but the only way to over come this hesitance is to be honest and upfront and to take the time necessary to get to know each other. When a guy pushes me for an instant committment, before I'm comfortable with what I know about him, he only succeeds in pushing me away from him. | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 12:55:42 PM | | What honesty? u get fed alot of bullshit about how wonderful it will be - Please! give me a break - heard it over&over - just be yourself & who knows......... | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/26/2009 2:25:28 PM |
This is a really silly thread. Lovers don't want brutal honesty, they want poetry.
I usually delete those that send me poetry so this comment was really funny for me to read. The only exception I would make is if that man is a poet? Otherwise I might just assume he is trying to blow wind up someone's skirt and that someone is not me.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:38:05 PM | | Men are stupid. Women are crazy. Accept that and life will be a lot easier. | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:39:03 PM | | Thank God I had a marriage where my late husband knew how to be honest, and how to accept my honesty. I know I had honesty and love...............after reading so many posts written by so many posters about how honest can't survive a loving, romantic relationship, I might believe it, if I hadn't experienced something else. | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:30:38 PM | Poetry, humor, honesty, integrity, silence. All of of the afformentioned are fine ways to communicate with your mate.
Important to remember that one is not speaking AT a refection of oneself.
One would hope that whatever communication is used, ones intent is to reveal a feeling or thought by speech, writing, or gesture to further understanding between the two of you.
Regardless of gender.
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:50:44 PM | | funny we all say we want total honesty...but do we really....and really who, if they are being totally honest with themselves doesnt tell those little white lies...kinda what makes us a polite society | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:32:54 PM | | The little song-and-dance called seduction means NOT always being totally honest, but only saying what you think she wants to hear ("you're so beautiful" or "I love you so much") so you can get laid. And it's sometimes sincere; it's not always bullsh-t! | |
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| honesty between the sexes
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:18:06 PM | Dude, wake up. A "Realtionship" IS poetry, but it has no description. I t is not the antisthis there-of. ~LOL~
emma_2 | |
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