| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:05:59 AM | | I think you are right--it's not right to misrepresent yourself. If they're married, they shouldn't be on a dating site saying they're not. It's just lying, plain and simple. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:37:02 PM | | Hey, married fellows, lol, it's enough being a single guy on this site with all the other single dudes, we don't need guys on here that already have someone. And, please don't give us the old 'but, she doesn't understand me' routine, or whatever it is, 'cause that's just pathetic. | |
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| Thoughts....
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:01:55 PM | 1) No picture = married
I'd agree for the most part. Certainly I am compelled wonder why ANYONE would not have a picture up on a dating site. In my experience...there is ALWAYS a reason. Married sounds good.
2) Will email you his picture = married
Redundant, but yeah.
3) Available to meet between 2 and 4pm on Tuesdays = married and in sales profession
I don't' agree. I am available when I am available. Mine you, this seems like an odd time...but if someone wanted to meet sooner versus later, and this is when I am available...this is when I am available.
4) Never available on Holidays = married
Depends on what "available" means. First and foremost comes my kid. Next would could my family. Now...depending on how long we have been going out, you might be come peers with the family. You'll never be a peer with the kid. So...I am "available" once I've seen to my commitments to these to constituencies first.
5) Separated and his wife doesn't understand him = married (she does not know they are separated)
Absurd. I AM separated and my wife DOES NOT understand me...if she did, we wouldn't be separated.
6) Never takes you to his place = married
Depending how long the persons in question have been dating, my thoughts are vary from "no, not really" to "absofcukinglutely"
- see if he's ok with pics of the two of you
I am likely NEVER going to be good with pictures of the two of us, because I don't do pictures, and I REALLY don't do the whole stupid "MySpace / Facebook" thing. I have a friend whose professional life right now is in disarray thanks to this bullshit...and note I said "professional" and not "personal".
I value my privacy...a lot. I don't see how your picture taking fetish trumps that.
- call him Sunday evenings at his home phone
If we are dating, you can call me a t any reasonable hour on any day. if I can talk, I will. If I cannot, I will not. But, if someone FORBIDS you calling at a certain time, yeah, I'd say that is a "red flag". "Married" sounds good to me.
- meet him and his friends at a random outing
You randomly show up ANYWHERE to surprise me and we are done.
If I like you and you are a significant person in my life, you will get to meet my friends when I deem it appropriate. If you are 'Cuddy Buddy", you don't get to meet them at all. Neither means I am married.
- spend a major holiday with him
Addressed above
- saturate him in your perfume so if there is a woman in his life, SHE will straighten him up.
You saturate me with your perfume we are done because you are a paranoid b!tch who doesn't respect my boundaries (because I don't want to be saturated with perfume). This doesn't mean I am married.
All of the above BEFORE you go for a shag
If all of these need to take place before we fcuk (especially the major holiday thing), then there is no concern because we aren't going to be an item. Third date baby....those are the rules. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:20:05 AM | | Liars and cheaters are a fact of life everywhere. If there is an advantage to be gained, many people will behave unethically. Married people need love and sex too, but this is not the way to get it! | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:12:56 PM | I'm married, and I don't hide my status.
I agree that it's wrong to lie and deceive people, that's why I'm honest about how things are with me.
For those of you who will choose to instantly judge me on this, save your time. You don't know me, or my situation. I am truthful with anyone that I talk to. They know my situation and anything that happens is between consenting adults with eyes wide open. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:41:49 PM | There is someone I had been seeing on and off for a few months that I began to see the red flags with. I aksed him flat out a few times if he is married, has a wife somewhere, etc. He vehemently denies it. His picture is in his profile, he says he's been divorced for 13 years, but guess what? HE'S MARRIED! Google and public records are a wonderful thing. Sure enough, he has a marriage license (not from the first, and supposed, only wife) and no divorce. Oh yes, and they both have the same address, which I might add, is recent.
Those of you who are married and at least honest in your profile; that's not my place to judge. But the ones who lie about it, all I can say is here's to KARMA! | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:38:25 PM | I was just looking up someone that did a post on one of the threads. Though not my type he was not. a bad looking guy but his picture sure looked like he was taken. So I looked closer at his profile...Married.
Ok what would a married guy be doing registering POF, even if its just for the forums.
Hey there are a ton of forums out there that are not connected with a dating site.
Hey I've come to understand a bit why those that stay after for the forums. But I cant figure out the reasoning for registering in a dating site if you married, even if the forums are the reason.
Guess that is why my profile blocks those that have themselves listed as being married. Warrning you guys the married ones area always that honest. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:59:32 PM |
I decided that if we have any interest in someone who claims to be separated, that we should have dinner or drinks with the husband/wife alone
Interestingly, I am separated and I actually had a date say that if we were going to go forward after the initial meeting that she would have to meet my ex to confirm where things stood. This would have been perfectly acceptable to both me and my ex. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:50:24 PM | There is where I am going to have to disagree. Sorry but I have to be honest. I have friends who are separated and who are both male and female and they have been waiting 9 mos to 2 years to get the divorced for one reason or another. The few Separated couples I do know are tired of being lonely and want to move on with there lives and want to find someone special even thou their divorce are not final yet. I cannot fault them for wanting to be loved again and I really don't blame them if they tell someone they like they are divorced even thou they are not. I agree honesty is the best policy but there are sometimes where total honesty can make you really lonley.
And for those married people both male and female who are out looking for sex.
Let's get real we are all adults and we all make choices. People who are unfaithful are that way because there is no love making/sex going on at home, Or they are using sex to fill a void that is there in there soul and they don't care where they get it... | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:40:22 AM |
Interestingly, I am separated and I actually had a date say that if we were going to go forward after the initial meeting that she would have to meet my ex to confirm where things stood. This would have been perfectly acceptable to both me and my ex.
That's great...it confirms the fact that you actually are separated, and gives you a firsthand impression of what the relationship is with the soon to be ex.
The few Separated couples I do know are tired of being lonely and want to move on with there lives and want to find someone special even thou their divorce are not final yet. I cannot fault them for wanting to be loved again and I really don't blame them if they tell someone they like they are divorced even thou they are not. I agree honesty is the best policy but there are sometimes where total honesty can make you really lonley.
Most people who are out of recent relationships don't want to be alone. Doesn't mean they should give in to that - generally it's just a withdrawal from someone being around all the time, not a readiness to get involved again in a healthy relationship. Lonely or not, it comes with the process of separation/pending divorce. Most get past this and actually enjoy their space eventually which is healthier. People can overcome loneliness without dating again...there are many other ways to work thru it. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:58:50 AM |
Interestingly, I am separated and I actually had a date say that if we were going to go forward after the initial meeting that she would have to meet my ex to confirm where things stood. This would have been perfectly acceptable to both me and my ex.
Onlythis,
That's exactly my situation. I've called girls from my home number... and at a later time they called me back at that number thinking it was my cell, and they get surprised when my Ex answered.
I get the impression that at least some of the people I've conversed with can't get their head around that my Ex is my Ex and that she'd be okay with me dating others even though the divorce isn't final. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 8:39:14 AM | | I think they should get a set of balls and move on!!! The majority that have come online over the years have said their in an unhappy marriage and given this as their excuse or the other is....they have a great marriage but their wife has gone off sex. I personally hate dishonesty in any shape or form and married men covering their identities to aff load annoys me | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 8:56:07 AM | The separated men I sort of understand. My experiences have not been too good with them though. Most separated only men are not ready for a commitment though, with an angry spouse hanging around sometimes. Those that have an agreeable and cordial spouse might be a different story.
However, I Do Not understand why married/committed men play on singles' sites even if they put down married. From what I have heard there are sites, forums and chat rooms for those wanting something on the side. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:53:23 AM | Heh let's not forget the married women who never plan to meet, but love the mail, or the under age ones, or joksters who create a profile just for the fun of it.
In the electronic age, there's no way to verify the truth.
Hmmmm. Maybe Aunt Mimmi's friend's daughter isn't such a bad possibility after all.
Ketch | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:23:47 AM | Heh let's not forget the married women who never plan to meet, but love the mail, or the under age ones, or joksters who create a profile just for the fun of it.
I apologize. As a woman my comments just hit on men. The problem is with both genders. Both men and women misrepresent themselves on these sites.
So I guess my statement from above should say
I Do Not understand why married/committed people play on singles' sites even if they put down married. From what I have heard there are sites, forums and chat rooms for those wanting something on the side. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 68 | |
| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:40:09 AM |
That's exactly my situation. I've called girls from my home number... and at a later time they called me back at that number thinking it was my cell, and they get surprised when my Ex answered.
Oh god, another onw eo lives with the X and wants to date.
Fine for you but under zero curcumstances would I date a man who is not divorced and this is a perfect examply of why.
I Feel in my OWN OPINION, get your business done first. Anyway I dn't need another woman's husband, I can get my own man who is fully free like me.
Savona | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:34:42 PM | | If you have been on this site for any length of time you've probably come across someone who is married. There are sites now that are specifically for married people to meet up on, so it would be nice if they left us singletons alone and went there. I've found some who are honest about being married and some who lie in order to get a quickie, just have to be careful and go with your instincts. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:52:28 PM | | My experience said he was separated had a messy divorce going on and was using a family friend as a lawyer. I know most lawyers in the area... so I asked oh who are you using I may be able to help you out with some info to bring to your lawyer... now this was someone who claimed to have very little time etc because of the divorce and kids- that I get I am going through that process myself. The response I got was- I don't remember my lawyers name of two years who happens to be a close family friend? ya ok then lol. Still married and not separated is what that says to me. It happens pretty easy to catch. Usually there is an excuse to why they are always busy, won't go out in public and why you can't go to their house. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:52:13 PM | If you could pay actual money for certain traits how much would you be willing to pay for lets say....'respect' 'trust' 'honesty' 'monogamy'?? What would traits like these in someone you love be worth to you?
Would their word that they possess these traits be as good as the price of Gold?
On the flip side, lets say you had to 'pay' for every time you went against one of the traits you claimed to possess.....which trait would you say would cost the most to the other person?
The big question is ....... how much are you willing to sell the traits you claim to possess, or how much are you willing to pay for your poor actions? What are YOU really worth as a human being if it came down to 'money'?
Because if you aren't worth much and you were a pretty easy sell, then your poor actions like, being married and lying about it are pretty much expected from such a poor quality of a human being.....
BUT if you claim to be the one who's 'word' is worth the price of Gold then being married and going on single dating sites, lying and meeting woman or men etc comes with a pretty heafty price tag I'd say because pretty much your going against every viable trait that most people would pay big bucks in having from someone if it were that easy.
'Since money can't buy the love we long to have', we are responsible for our own actions and every action in life whether good or bad has a 'price tag' figuratively speaking. Hence the phrases 'reap what you sew', 'what comes around goes around', 'he who laughs last, laughs the longest' etc.....
And the price tag for someone's actions all depends on the depth, the severity of the damage(s) ppl cause when you hurt other ppl...
And that's my synopsis of the day......
And no, I haven't met any of those who think they can afford to phuck with me!!
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:23:52 PM | NO NO NO... You fail to take in account the people that never got caught again, or who havent been caught again... No women in there right mind would ever date a rapist, child molestor, or anything more to that degree... If i found out my babies mommas were seeing someone like that HEADS WOULD FU
Within 3 years, 2.5% of released rapists were arrested for another rape. Which means 97.5 failed to recommit the crime of rape. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:54:11 AM | | Doesn't date......especially anyone from this site.....Took a chance with a couple that emailed me........No dates, but called, them.....ugh........anyway.....I enjoy the forums.... | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:05:10 PM | | this was in 2006, a married man confessed to me he was married to a woman who was dying and she hd no interest in sex with him. I told him i felt bad that I kissed him because he was married and that his wife was dying, he told me he did not feel bad about it. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I told him this is too weird and I can not see him no more. I have morals and ethics. He tried to tell me I am not doing anything wrong. I broke it off with him. | |
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| Married Men on POF
Posted: 8/10/2009 2:07:34 AM | This place is swarming with marred men, I have ran into several!!
^T^ | |
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