| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:18:25 PM | My response addresses the post about celibacy for 10 years and cuddling. I was celibate for over 10 years after my ex of 25 years and I drew apart. I also did not date for three years after our divorce. I had a "long term" 2.5 years boyfriend. The sex was great. But he treated me badly. Got satisfied but was very unhappy. So glad I dumped him.
Now I have a friend who was celibate for 10 years. We have decided to go slow. We do LOTS of cuddling, sleep entwined in each other's arms, share sweet, deep kissing and touching. In my opinion, this is much better than intercourse. There is a close bond between us. Intercourse doesn't matter right now. It's the close contact and waking up to a face that is smiling and looking into my eyes as I look into his. Everyone is different; this works for me and my love. I feel loved and safe in his arms. I agree that cuddling is part of making love. It IS making love. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:23:48 PM | | cuddling the best at anytime leaves a conection but then i a tru cuddle bunny and a hopeless romantic | |
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Emmy**
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Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 30 | |
| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/19/2009 11:39:04 PM | Here is my veiw...
If i'm really into the guy and hes got something to cuddle... i will..
But if i'm not into the guy so much and hes a bit on the skinny side...then i won't..
So all in all i'm just bias towards men who have something to cuddle...
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:29:37 AM | I am tactile... in the extreme...
So I guess Im the most demanding cuddler, and toucher .... I cant help it, there is just NO WAY that I cant be draped over the SO. I'll lay on their back, throw my legs over them, fiddle, tickle, stroke.... whatever so long as Im touching.
Sex has nothing to do with it, I just have to touch. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:15:38 AM | | cuddling is great on the couch while watching tv or a movie, or sitting by a fire, but im not a big fan of bed cuddling. alot of ladies have said they like to cuddle until they fall asleep, well how do i un cuddle without waking you up. i cant roll your head off my chest or yank my arm out from under you without disturbing you. i bought a california king bed for a reason, when i go to sleep i need my space, | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:48:12 AM | | I like cuddling at all times! Cuddling is great after sex, as long as the woman doesn't get mad if I fall asleep. The act of a man getting off releases a load of melatonin into a man's system, which can make it difficult for him to stay awake. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:06:53 AM |
The problem with cuddling is that in no time she wants to do it again.
And the problem with this is...... what again?
Hm..I was wondering the same thing...Sometimes I cuddle hoping for round two..
For the "kick 'em out" ladies, thanks for the heads up. Why bother with a HUMAN if that's all the emotion you feel during or after THE greatest thing two people can share.
I don't know about all that...Sometimes it's a good thing..
Takes a guess work out of - OK I am done here, now how do I tell her I want to leave-
situation...This way no one gets hurt.. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:07:20 AM | | At 49 I find it amazing that some men don't hold the woman they have just had sex with afterwords, whether it was love making or just sex there should have been some bond of tenderness.....that being said.....cuddling can lead to a healthy, peaceful state of mind, and yes, lead to doing it all over again and what is wrong with that? Is everyone here just a "one trick pony?" Not me...a night of intimancy can last and last as far as I am concerned.... | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:07:43 AM | | For me cuddling after sex is the probably the most important part. My ex would not cuddle with me after wards and it always left me feeling empty and unloved inside. I can relate to the feeling used part because to me making love is not a casual thing, instead it holds very deep meaning for me and I will only have sex with someone I love, never as something for instant gratification. My feeling is this, the greatest gift I could ever give to the man I love is myself. Women and men should treasure every moment that making love offers and it should never be viewed as an indoor sport. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:21:23 AM | alot of ladies have said they like to cuddle until they fall asleep, well how do i un cuddle without waking you up.
You don't. You get up and go - once I fall asleep once, I can go back to sleep easily enough if woken up. No worries.
Then again my "cuddle" is less intense, so there's not a lot you have to move. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:21:27 AM | This morning about five minutes after we finished making love, the cell phone went off. My significant other was being called in to work. They needed help with a job.
If I ever wondered how much the cuddling after means to me, the way I reacted to this news really reinforced my feelings. The phone call stole our cuddle time. If not for that call we would have laid in bed cuddling and talking for an hour before getting up and getting dressed and going on with the day. Fortunately, he didn't rush out the door. We got dressed after a quick shower, and went to breakfast, and had an hour before we had to part.
After making love I need that intimacy of cuddling, or conversation. It strengthens the bond in the relationship. Without it, it would feel like meaningless sex. I don't do that anymore. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:13:21 PM | I like the cuddle, of course... but the constant movement drives me crazy if the guy is rubbing a dent in your side.
You want to cuddle, great! But hold the hell still (please). | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:44:10 PM | As much skin to skin contact DURING sex and even more AFTER sex. IMHO, if you don't want to be THAT close to your lover before, during and especially AFTER making love you should save it for when you're with somebody you do feel that way about. Being with anybody you don't feel that way about just cheapens the feelings when you spooon later.
For the "kick 'em out" ladies, thanks for the headsup. Why bother with a HUMAN if that's all the emotion you feel during or after THE greatest thing two people can share. What you should concentrate on is fresh batteries and an OFF switch.
SAD!]
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I totally agree. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:45:20 PM | Personally I hate cuddling. I hate a person being more than 6 inches close to me while I'm sleeping. I especially hate when their hot breath irritates the back of my neck while I have my back turned to them. If I don't care about the person I literally will either not sleep or sleep on the floor. I just feel that its my space and it should be respected.
If, however, I'm in love then the magical properties of love transforms me into a new man where my significant other is an extension of my body. Only then do I become the grand master of cuddling and actually like it too. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:27:50 PM | I love to cuddle afterwerd and I would probbly be offended if i was "kicked out of bed"
sex for sex is good but sex with true intimacy cant be beat | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:29:14 PM |
Not all people need to do sleepovers in relationships. If you only sleep well in your bed with no one else in it, then it doesn't make you sad. It makes you someone who likes to sleep undisturbed and without being smothered.
To each his own
what womaninprogress said. I toss and turn and have trouble sleeping. I can't sleep with someone in the bed next to me. Definately can't sleep with someone touching me. Too hot and I don't want someone breathing on me. Just because people like to sleep certain ways, doesn't mean they're sad. Because you don't agree and call them sad, shows that you have issues of your own. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:38:15 PM |
Now I have a friend who was celibate for 10 years. We have decided to go slow. We do LOTS of cuddling, sleep entwined in each other's arms, share sweet, deep kissing and touching. In my opinion, this is much better than intercourse. There is a close bond between us. Intercourse doesn't matter right now. It's the close contact and waking up to a face that is smiling and looking into my eyes as I look into his. Everyone is different; this works for me and my love. I feel loved and safe in his arms. I agree that cuddling is part of making love. It IS making love.
Now that sounds appealing. Forget passionate and arousing; I want affectionate and comforting. | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:46:53 PM | | I think cuddling is important , shows that you care about the other person, that it wasnt only about the sex, but the closeness......... | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:55:15 PM | I'm a cuddler...toucher...got to have it. I'm a very affectionate person. It's part of the entire experience.
I like to lay together and just gently run my fingers over his body. It just adds to the whole feeling of togetherness. That is part of what "making love" is all about.
I hate it when it's over and he just gets up and leaves. That will not be a person who stays around me very long.
To the others of you who say "I can't cuddle" or "get up and leave so I can sleep", you've got to be kidding! SELFISH. What was the point then....obviously nothing. Sex...just sex and nevermind. Nope..forget that. Don't need it, don't want it.
Go away.... | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:10:06 PM | I'm a cuddler...toucher...got to have it. I'm a very affectionate person. It's part of the entire experience.
I like to lay together and just gently run my fingers over his body. It just adds to the whole feeling of togetherness. That is part of what "making love" is all about.
I hate it when it's over and he just gets up and leaves. That will not be a person who stays around me very long.
To the others of you who say "I can't cuddle" or "get up and leave so I can sleep", you've got to be kidding! SELFISH. What was the point then....obviously nothing. Sex...just sex and nevermind. Nope..forget that. Don't need it, don't want it.
Go away.... | |
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| Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:14:12 PM | ^^^I don't throw someone out right away, I will cuddle for a short time till I do start to fall asleep if it's my place...so it's not that abrupt. If I am not tired, maybe longer. Long as I can have the bed to myself once I am tired, I'm good.
If we have somewhere to be, then naturally we'd get up and go do whatever it is we had to...cuddling is counterproductive if you're not planning on sleeping after sex for me.
It's not selfish, it's just different. | |
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