| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 3:20:56 PM |
i am in a new relationship with a great guy from here... he tells me i am perfect ... that he is going nowhere and he is 110% happy...so why does he still need to talk to other women on here?
It's seems what needs to be questioned is your lack of faith and insecurity that truly needs to be addressed.... do you now pick and choose who his friends are before he met you, perhaps he is 110% happy with friends in addition to having a relationship with you....
maybe it's time to make some friends of your own kettle meet pot.? | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:17:23 PM |
I hate to sound negative but it sounds like he is a player. If you were everything he says about you, then why is he dabbling with other women? Don't fall into his verbal trap. Get rid of him.
Not sooooooo quick there....
She hasn't really definined this "relationship" that they're in. He may have made lotsa women "friends" while in this site.
He may just be extremely social.
I don't go out of my way to be friendly on the forums, and I probably have about 20 or so "women" friends that I chat with regularly. Some of them have boyfriends. Some, I've even chatted with their boyfriends.
OP, I think what's triggering this feeling in you, is that you "see" that he is on a "dating site" chatting with other women, who are probably single. I'm sure you are aware that this guy probably has friends in his life before you that are also women. There's really no need to jump to the immediate conclusion that he is still on the "prowl".
I would simply talk to him about it, and let him no that there's something that's making you uncomfortable about things between you two, and evaluate based on his reaction.
Don't speculate. Nothing good ever comes from speculation... | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:07:39 PM | OP: go back and read msg#44.
I'm her other half. And a history search will reveal that I post quite a bit on here.
Honestly, pof is addictive. ANY forum reg will attest to that.
Other than that, we are still social beings.
In some ways, talking with women helps me better understand women. In some ways, it helps me understand myself.
In any case, other intelligent POVs allow us to see the many sides to the same thing.
I would say that you should trust him until it's time to not trust him.
Instincts are wonderful things.................and usually right! | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:50:19 PM | He is lying to you, that is simple........ He is advertising for friends, he wants more women, he likes the ego boost of picking up women........
He is 110% happy with having a sucker like you on the side while he is picking up more women, he has you to come running home to if he gets rejected to re boost his ego.....
I would put my boot up his ASS and buy him some bait and send him on his way......
He is wasting your time and time is valuable.........
Never speak to him again, dont be so desperate you can and will do better........ | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:26:04 PM | Mr. Provocative-
POF is addictive? This coming from a man, lol. Certainly you have better things to do than read the posts on here. It's the same crapola day after day. After about 3 postings I'm done.
Maybe you should go to the gym and find out how addictive exercise is. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:40:37 PM | | i think what you are experiencing is the vulnerability one feels as they begin to open themselves up in a new relationship. which is all the more reason why people usually chill out on the opposite sex a bit during the initial stages till trust is built and both are feeling comfortable. then its still inappropriate for him have an unhidden profile. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:59:32 AM |
It's just talk.
Actions speak louder than words. Never mind what he says, pay attention to how he treats you. Talk is cheap.
Your next comment proves just how "cheap" some talk really is!
Maybe you should go to the gym and find out how addictive exercise is.
Now that is just messed up. I'm thinking the only reason that comment was even made is because his post is proof that not all men that stay on the site after they find an insecure control freak are here to do wrong!
How fecked up in the head does someone have to be to think that commenting about a guys weight in any way discredits his point? 
Then again as fecked up as someone who thinks the world should revolve around them just because the guy says he's in to you!  | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:37:50 AM |
my profile is turned off his still says that he is divorced and looking for friends
You've lost me. You don't want him to have friends?
Be careful - this could be interpreted as insecurity, possessiveness, control and/or jealousy. Not an attractive look... | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:17:55 AM |
but obviously he is still looking............it's sad the way some people behave really.
Then that should apply to "anyone" on this site who is not single/ not looking- seeking friends or chat and e-mail! Married, dating doesn't matter! 100% across the board!
Anyone who falls in to that category is up to no good! Obviously!
That sounds so ridiculous it was hard to write!  | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:36:34 AM | I agree with the rock man's posts, well said.
My profile says not single/not looking as I have recently met someone, yet I enjoy reading the posts on here and have a few friends I chat with every now and then. I also like to look at the profiles of new folks that pop up..... It's nothing more than "people watching" I don't send out any emails. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:49:12 AM | The OP has her profile hidden, that does not mean she can not search and keep in contact with people.
So what her beau does out in the open she could potentially also be doing, I mean if this was that important to her she would have deleted her account me thinks.
One word.... TRUST ..... | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:47:14 AM | hi all
first time in a forum so be gentle lol
the op was asking for opinions , i was in a similar situation to her not so long ago...this guy was all over me all the time we were together loving affectionate telling me i was perfect both physically and mentally and i believed him... it took me a while but i began to trust him... he still kept on this site ..saying he was divorced and wanting friends ... it really wasnt such i big thing for him to change his stautus when i asked if we should..it wasnt me being n eedy or insecure it was about showing committment to a relationship that was open enough for both of us to have online friends and also showing that we were in a relationship to those friends.... no misunderstandings... no ideas that we would leave each other for another or was still looking... so any new friends we made knew exactly where they stood from the begginning....his email count did go down as did mine ...but i think those that those who contacted us after were the genuine ones who were seeking what we were ..ie online friends and nothing else. it can work but it takes courage and belielf in your self and your partner . Most people have insecurites of some sort but sometimes you just have to have a leap of faith and go for it>X | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:47:15 AM | | Any guy can be great online. If he's talking to anyone else you need to move on cause he's not as serious as you. It's guys like him that make the rest of us look like jerks. I recently met someone i hope to be the love of my life & you can look at my profile to see what someone who really cares will do. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:38:53 AM | Your in a NEW relationship...so don't give out ALL the goodies until he can come around to your way of thinking....
Women will usually JUMP in full force and sit there and scratch there heads when they are still on the single sites chatting it up with other women.
You have to think to yourself...SLOWWW DOWN ...don't give everything up if he is online...you could do a song and dance for him but there are always other women that are willing to do the same thing...OR they may live too far away but still have been chatting it up with and enjoying the conversations they share.
You have to THINK for yourself..be responsible for YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL welfare and not give him anything anymore then friendship until it comes to that time to talk about being in a monogamous relationship...
If you already have.....don't be so "available" ...this can become a Friends w benefits thing that he is forming and if you can't deal with FWB relationships..
Then make compromises..if he still have the need to chat with and meet other women..don't have be intimate with him. Simple as that. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:58:46 AM | He's not as into you as he lets on. IF he was he would have "not single/not looking" and professing it proudly.
You just got yourself another PoF junkie OP. Words are cheap. Actions speak much louder than words. Some men are just good at telling women what they want to hear.
Be wise. Don't compromise. Know what a commitment to you looks like and expect it from whoever you give your heart to. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:07:23 AM |
My BF and I are both still active on this site and still interact with members of the opposite sex, GASP! He's made a lot of friends on this site, probably mostly female, and it would be ridiculous and immature of me to expect him to drop all contact with those friends just because we're together now. In fact, it would seem weird to me if he did, and I wouldn't want him to. I even have a half-baked theory that one of the many things that makes him a great boyfriend is his experience with women as friends- he gets us!
I guess I'm one of those oddities that really does believe men and women can be friends without having ulterior motives It's quite easy for you to say this because your SO and you have each other in your profiles and you've made it quite clear that you are an "item" and therefore you are secure enough to say what you've said. In the Op's case.. her b/f has not even indicated that he is in a relationship.. hardly indicative to feeling secure that he's not actively fishing. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:13:26 AM | very well pointed out wishes x
its the fact the he hasnt changed is profile that is making her insecure.... i am lucky cos mine did change his but if he hadnt then i think i would have felt the same as the OP.. its also misleading women that may contact him expecting him to be single x | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:22:33 AM |
Mr. Provocative-
POF is addictive? This coming from a man, lol. Certainly you have better things to do than read the posts on here. It's the same crapola day after day. After about 3 postings I'm done.
Maybe you should go to the gym and find out how addictive exercise is.
Ah, but there are some gems on here that are priceless!
Obviously pof isn't your thing.
I've tried the gym rat mentality and it isn't MY thing.
In the gym, it's just the same crapola day after day. | |
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