| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:42:57 AM | More and more people today are looking for an open relationship. Where freedom allows them pretty much anything and more then one partner is in order. This is not for all people and you need to know where you fit in. What you think and what he thinks about it.
You will find it hard adjusting to this if you are not open minded yourself. You need to have a serious talk with him as well as prepare yourself for big eye opener. No one is 110% fixed on one person...the fact that he tells you that is because you have some insecurities behind the question . He’s not stupid... if he wants you he will tell you what you need to hear. .And do you want to live with this question lingering in the back of your mind every time he’s out for the night or away on trips? Because this is the direction you are heading my dear if you don’t talk to him and find out what’s up.
If you feel uncomfortable with his choice... keeping his POF open and other women.. Talk to HIMMMMMMMM and find out what direction he wants to take this relationship. Tell him how you feel and what you’re looking for... maybe he wants something else. If he does happen to "open up " to you and its not what you want or expected to hear. Don’t hold that against him or snap on him!" No I dont want that at this time or ever" is not a rejection of you persay. It's his personal choice. We all have one and should be free to express it without hangups to follow. Choice is still "a choice" in this world. He has his and you have yours. If the two of you don’t line up? Move on and away from the subject! ie HIM.
Some men love women and one is not enough for him nor will it ever be. Some women are comfortable with that others are not. As people we need to socialize with others and yes this includes the opposite sex. Commitment to one on one is another thing.
Yes it would be nice if he removed his profile but he didn’t. Yes it would be great if men only had eyes for one but they don’t they love to look at beautiful women and there is nothing wrong with “looking” as long as you don’t “touch” the forbidden side...unless of course your sweetie says its ok honey “as you wish”. lol
Three are enough people out there that want One on One and ONLY ONE ...
If this is not what he wants and you need that.. you may need to fish again! and again and again lol
all the best | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:43:24 AM |
Searcher8001-
Sorry - but few males on these sites are "one girl" guys!
And you know this, how? Because thats how YOU think?
FWIW I'm looking for one woman, and when I find her I will settle down with her and only her for as long as things will go. I've been in relationships that have ranged from 1 month to 2 years. It's one woman at a time for me. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:01:23 AM | | OK.. I'm going to say it. (might regret it, but here goes..) Honey, The WORLD is a dating site. If your man is the type who likes to talk and chat it up with ladies, keeping him off a dating site or any social networking site IS NOT going to keep him from talking to or meeting other girls. He could just as well be shopping in the produce section of the grocery and strike up a conversation with someone, or chat it up waiting in line at the theater. The key here is trust. If your gut instinct tells you that he is looking for one better than you, then you need to do some re-evaluating of your relationship. If it makes you uncomfortable, it will only get worse until YOU feel like you can trust him enough to know that you are his one and only. That takes time, maturity and self confidence. I can't say that he is or isn't looking to cheat on you, only HE knows that. If you are looking for someone who doesn't speak to other women, perhaps you should look for a man who is shy and withdrawn. A social butterfly type isn't for you. Maybe he doesn't realise that continuing on this site is hurting your feelings. You should discuss it with him and see where it goes from there. Perhaps BOTH of you need to lay off the site if its causing a ripple in the relationship. What's good for the goose... | |
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776877
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Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 87 | |
| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:32:57 AM | 'Sorry - but few males on these sites are "one girl" guys!'
'I'd venture to say most of us are actually "zero girl" guys!'
Funny! But sadly SOOOO true! This site is probably the safest site on the web for guys NOT meeting girls, be more wary of the supermarket, health club, parties, concerts...just about anywhere else :-) Its possible to meet a woman in real life and within a short while exchange numbers etc, that really doesn't happen here. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:56:08 PM | I was in a relationship like that. He kept in touch with a former girlfriend and would talk about me to her. I found out he was trying to work things out with her and all the while he was telling me that he had never been so content with anybody but me. He wrote me Harlequin like love letters. But behind my back was trying to get back with her. Believe what you see and half of what you hear.
I would ask yourself would you do that to him? I think he is looking to trade up. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:17:27 PM | This one I struggle with as I do the same! Don't all hit me at once but I'm a sneaky midnight chatter even though I should be perfectly content not to need to chat to loads of new female strangers. Not sure if that's my ego, my sad dependence on my computer or my having become lost in a 'virtual world' at the loss of the big wide 'real world'
Wicked is guilty- what should I do?! All appropriate punishments will be duly considered! :) | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:29:18 AM | This is a hard one, most men do leave their profile active but us females hide ours till we are free again.
I did aproach my ex friend about this issue and I got the talk of his daughter had control of his profile.....yeah right. His profile vanished for a while but soon came back, maybe I was over reacting but a lot of things didn't add up. I only have a son but I am sure I wouldn't like him checking my emails from guys on here.
The guy I was seeing from this site did a disappearing act with me so I think Mr want-to-be-happy wasn't happy good bye and be happy elsewhere I say. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:07:47 AM | Sorry - but few males on these sites are "one girl" guys!
ohhh.boyyy...here we go again, round the same old pole.
I read, ohhh...maybe 40 , 50 times every visit on here....a woman using the wonderful catchphrase...." Sometimes , you gotta kiss a lot of Frogs".....or, (in question form)....'How many frogs do I have to kiss to find the One"
of course, it's an unanswerable question, and none of my business whatsoever, but 'if' I wanted to jump to a generalization, I could think...."Wow....seems like very few women on here are 'one guy' girls" they seem to be flitting about at least 'as much' as the guys....hmmm?
Is it possible, that it may 'seem' like a man is just playing the field all the time ...24/7...when he is actually just dating...and has the same wishes and desires that you have??
...that, yes, there are plenty of people we can 'get along' with.....but perhaps we are selective, or holding out for that one that will just 'shake our tree'.?
I'm just wondering if it's a possibility in any way. Because, by now, one thing I'm sure we are all in agreement here on, is that any statement, any action, can be taken many different ways, depending upon 'your own stuff'.
Another thing we may also all be in agreement about...is that painting across the gender lines with a broad brush, is not only bound to be inaccurate, but may even be the very reason that so many people seem to be stuck, judgmental, and unhappy.
what if we were all evolved enough to realize that everything is a case by case basis?
And that generalizations shouldn't really affect us all that much?
I need more coffee, pretty sure about that.
just wonderin'
Kimbo | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:46:36 AM | | He's probably keeping his "options" open. Maybe he not really sure what he wants but one thing's for sure - he is doing what he WANTS to do! If he still got his profile on I would suggest you do the same and find someone that knows what they want and will put 100% into a relationship with you. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:03:10 AM | RockMan said it all..............
But you need to focus on how you can change your reaction to him - he is not gong to change. You either take it or dont - dont spend your valuable time trying to change him. You are at the point where you have to make this decision regardless of your insecurity. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:15:49 AM | ... he tells me i am perfect ... that he is going nowhere and he is 110% happy.
perfect in what? hanging out with, doing all the fun stuff together, being there for him always whenever he needs you (before he finds someone "more perfect"), and most importanly, being a great lover (or he'd not be 110% happy)?? ...... but for a healthy relationshiop that is not enough- he needs to make you 110% happy in return & apparently he has failed so far (or you'd not have come here with this thread, also, the fact that he stays online or not itself is not important).
Communicate openly with him how you feel. Love is natually protective & contrary to popular belief, most men are capable of doing whatever they can to make sure you know they want you, instead of leaving you in doubt - if they are truely in love with you. | |
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| if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:43:48 PM | | Have you told him that you feel the same way about him? Perhaps, if you're being coy, or if you're making him chase you, he's not certain enough of your interest in him to give up pursuing other women. Men get lonely, too, and relationships with women -- whatever those relationships entail -- can help stave off oppressive loneliness. | |
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