| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:12:00 PM | | omitting a fact to spare someone is a lie in itself. and in that you lie not only to another person but yorself. and when you lie to yourself that goes to content of charather. and if charather is compromised who are you. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:58:34 PM |
I’ve read that the Bible says, “You’re not supposed to lie, but you don’t have to tell everything.” And there is another quote which says that "only a fool speaks his whole mind…"
I love the way people rationalize deceit. In case it isn't obvious, selectively omitting information is at least as effective as an outright life because it contains an element of truth that conceals the omission. I assure you that if you really believe that and were perfectly happy with that kind of truth, I vould make you believe anything without ever telling you something that was untrue. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:54:43 AM | the whole cruxt of this is we are debating weather truth is a relevent issue or does it change with the times. truth is an absolute. the truth is always there. and i have found that the truth will set you free and that your sins will find you out is a very true thing. say for instance i was dating a woman who was a porn starlet in the past, i would want to know so if the future if one of my buddies tended to say somthing about it i would already be ready to hear it.
the simple fact in that situation would be yes she did it and by not telling me it would hurt if i found out | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:11:45 AM | Well, I was getting to know a man on another dating site. He wanted to take 3 weeks to get to know me online. After a week of almost constant daily emails, I told him some things ab0ut me that I usually would have waited for the first date to tell. I didn't want him to finally meet me then tell me I wasted his time because I hadn't told him about potential dealbreakers sooner. I thought I was being courteous, but he actually got offended that I put all my stuff on the table so soon. He actually told me that I shouldn't have told him so soon about anything, and that I should have let him get to know me more slowly. I think, right there, is a pretty sure sign that things are different between us. I'm a truthful person, I am pretty honest, and this guy didn't want it. I find people downright confusing sometimes.
I apologized to him and let him know that it wasn't my intention to offend, and then explained that most men (this is true) would tell me that they wanted to know dealbreakers up front. I let him know I had assumed he was the same in that way.
The more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps I ruined this fantasy he had about me. That perhaps he didn't want to end up meeting me at all. And if so, he didn't want the real version. He just wanted his idea of it. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:27:04 AM | | If you hide nothing you have nothing to hide... only hydes hide. The truth in an authentic person is not difficult .. getting to truth is respecting accountability and acting accordingly.. caring people have no issue with the truth .. sometimes it is the emotions of shame or guilt that continue to hold people for ransom.. telling the truth is oe thing.. living it is another .. and few people care to live their personal truth. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:35:14 AM | | It is so much easier to be truthfull and not have to continue to lie. WHY HIDE THE TRUTH? | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:02:07 PM | | Hell yeah....one lie begets another lie begets another lie and so on and so forth. If a guy has a certain age "limit" there is actually nothing anyone can do about age. Just deal with it.. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:34:26 AM | | Something else to remember! When you post on one of these forums, the link appears on your profile. So, anything you make a comment on can be seen. Your comment, or opinion could be a problem for someone checking out your comment. Something to think about! | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:20:44 PM | I would venture to say for me it's my Sexuality for both the strongest and the weakest. It sucks being this way!
Message: If someone would ask me “What is the strongest and weakest quality of my character | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:28:22 PM | It's impossible to do anything but that.
Your premise that we have a choice in the matter is flawed.
Even the habitual liar or cheat is truth-telling in their words and deeds.
The truth is implicit.
The truth is self-evident...
If a cheat or a liar was 'honest' and spoke to you of their deceit, they would cease to be a cheat or a liar. Think about it. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:45:19 PM | | There is truth, and there is diplomacy. The difference is in how much of a d|ck you are. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:51:32 PM | Good- I'm very honest.
Bad- I worry too much.
I don't tend to see a point in lying. If it's a small thing, why bother lying about it? If it's a big thing, it's likely to come out anyhow, so why lie about it? | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:35:33 AM | the problem with lying is the snowball affect. you tell one lie then you have to tell another lie when the truth of the first lie comes out. and the second and the third and the fourth and so on. and as the lies snowball so do the consequences of those lies or omissions. i would rather tell and have the truth told and avoid all the hurt and let down and own up to my mistakes rather than have to keep lying and perpetuate the lies. and not only is there the fact of the consquences but there are physical health consequences to lying. there are emotional onsquences to lying. there is possibly the loss of friends and credibility. we so often look at lying as a way of getting out of trouble or makin ourselfs look good.
Honestly i am stright foward with all the women i meet. I make minimum wage, i live in a moble home, i drive a mini-van, (the price is right). and i am outspoken and say whats on my mind. i dont like plastics and i dont like phonies and i dont like yuppies and such. so if i aint what yer looki fer move on. I am also honest about my past. i figure its gonna come out someday in pillow talk anyways. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:55:20 AM | I wouldn't trust someone who lied about his age or whether he was married or not. I don't think things will improve in time, he'll just find other things to lie about. I've been married 3 times. I don't advertise it on my profile, but as soon as anyone asks me about it, I tell the truth. I thought it would put people off of me, but it doesn't.
I am an open and honest person and it's got me into trouble sometimes, but most of the time, people are glad because, as they say themselves, they know where they are with me. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:56:50 AM | The truth of an absolute is fairly easy to get at... age, height, marital status. But as soon as you move away from that you are getting into things that require perception to interpret.
There's no THE truth... there's A truth. In some situations, I have several truths that are all equally honest. I can deliver my truths in a way that will have them rolling on the floor laughing or reaching for a box of kleenex. Then too, there are some truths I am not going to reveal until we have a certain relationship, until there's some trust built and some interest garnered. In those cases, it is a bit like how I told something to my daughter over a period of 10 years: each time the story was told, it was a truth, but at an age appropriate level - as she got older, I added a few more details. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:36:46 AM | If someone ask me what is " what is my strongest and weakest quality of character,I would answer" honesty "for both. * I did pay my price for being honest and with years, I 've learned that there is a certain art on delivering the truth without compromising my integrity. This" Art" is not easy to practice.
A person who doesn't know how to play the game,he /she is the *game*, for Life is a Game, if you tell to a man /anyone that you are honest, hmm,you become an open book ,they'll be asking every inner core about you, "what 's in your wallet " etc.?? and then you become a victim..
There are only two kind of people that lives on this earth the Con Artist and the Victim. Personally, I don't care if Iam a sinner that when I died I 'll be in Hell, for my words of bluff ---as long as the result is good for me .....Once I was in a casino with a girlfriend,she was playing 3 nickels slot machine and she losed all her money, she asked me if I have money I told her I have only 2$ and some coins I showed my wallet to her, but that was a lie for I have 60 bucks tuck inside my driving licence . If I was so honest,she'd take my 60 $ if she lose the money, we are both penniless and I don't think she'd pay me back... Actually, I don't care how truthful a person tells me about her/himself, for me to see is to believe ,I don't relay on a person words but his deed. Honesty is a word of honor for me , if I promise something consider it is done and I expect others to do the same with me.... | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:45:29 PM | I HEAR YOU, MAN...
It was a good 'survey' and now I see what the most people think and do. And I understand that in order 'to live among wolves' we must act like them. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:37:20 AM | I love to share and hear the truth, if:
1} the veracity of the words has been verified.
2} there is benevolence rather than malice from the deliverer.
3} it is a necessity when a hurtful truth is told.
I read something regarding tattling/in your face truth a long time ago, being more about feeding the need of the teller, than actually helping the told. Now that I have learned more about myself, and human nature, I am particularly suspicious when someone is too preachy about his/her truth to me.
The truth is always welcome if someone's benevolence to me, women, and the world has always been beyond reproach. M | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:17:57 AM | I love people who tell the truth with a Big Heart. Nothing better in the world than that!
I would love to meet a guy like that. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:10:09 AM | There are some things I can answer because I want to and some things that are nobody elses business.
I have been around for a few years and I dont think I need to relive every second of my life.
If asked a question I will answer or I will assume it's not a person's business to ask if it does not directly affect them. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:30:38 AM | | I say yes tell the truth but only a little at a time its easier for the other person to swallow it a little at a time lol Gail | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:07:21 AM | | Lets see my mom raised me to tell the truth. On these sites sometimes people really dont want to hear the truth on things like what your career is and what things you like to do because if people really did than a person might be able to find someone who can accept them for them. That is all I got to say on that. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:31:35 AM | So… Shall we tell the truth or not?
OP,
My view is that we should speak the truth openly.
I believe in the saying "The Truth Will Set You Free"
But there is a certain balance to be maintained. You don't want to overwhelm the person you just met with too much info.
A good approach is to openly and honestly answer what was asked and just let the conversation flow. You don't need to cover every topic in one conversation.
As for double standards and other forms of BS... this is where I believe in the saying "The Best Defense is a good Offense".
Just openly point out their hypocrisy... if they get all huffy, it just means they are revealing their true nature... which means you're getting to the truth, which is a blessing (sometimes in disguise)
Now when you say "if a person isn't completely honest - does it matter to you"... well it depends on what it is. Was it a flat out lie? Or was it just not telling me everything just because they just met me and aren't quite ready for that level of openness yet?
Nobody is completely open with someone they just met. Not even I am.
But if it was a pathetic, bald-faced lie, that would be a deal-breaker. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:01:55 AM | | don`t do it. i`ve tried being completely honest and all i got was a bag of rocks. people only want the truth when it`s good news, otherwise your an ***hole. women beg for truth all the time but get mad when they get it and run to the first liar they can find and he gets laid because he said what they wanted to hear then they complain about him being a liar and the cycle begins again. lies are only wrong when others tell them and we all know that. | |
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