| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:33:37 PM | i`ve tried being completely honest and all i got was a bag of rocks. people only want the truth when it`s good news, otherwise your an ***hole. women beg for truth all the time but get mad when they get it
The key to that type of childish behaviour is to basically tell them "Thanks for punishing me for being truthful. Would you like me to lie to you from now on so you can live in an ignorant bliss? "
...Or something along those lines. It shuts down the petulant behaviour pretty fast... or it causes even worse behaviour, which in my view is a solid reason to end it with someone.
But it is true that everyone *says* they want the truth, but half of the people out there can't handle it.
The way I see it, if someone freaks over the truth, they just reveal themselves as NOT being suitable for a long-term relationship anyway. So it's another blessing in disguise. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:44:59 PM | I keep getting punished for being truthful to people.
Ya see, I hate when people disappear on me, or play games, or do the silent treatment. It's hard not to have some sort of closure. So I try to nicely, honestly, respectfully tell the truth to people online instead of doing those things.
It doesn't always pay; people get mad, they get hurt; it's like they didn't want to hear the truth.
Yet I still keep telling the truth, because that's how I want to be treated.
I'm not talking about brutal, brash, harsh, mean truths. I'm talking about letting people know where I'm at with this online interaction thing. I feel highly accountable to others. I feel very, very alone in this feeling. But I don't feel right not acting that way. I do feel resentful though, that I don't seem to get any real rewards from it. I'm jealous, too, that others so easily get away with treating others like crap but they never seem to suffer the consequences. I still can't let myself act that way though, because I simply feel it isn't right. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:15:50 PM | | If telling the truth is just the inconsiderate expression of your own vain and overly selfish nature, it's perhaps best to restrain yourself, keep quiet, think about the truth of yourself a little bit. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:34:45 PM | It's important to deliver the "truth" as you see it with tact.
See forum rules or spend eternity in Banned Camp.
I always state the truth - as I know it.
But?
Do I always do it with grace, finesse, elegance and tact?
Hell no.
I try. Sometimes.
And then others?
Not so much. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:41:54 PM | Yes we shall.
Liars are PROFOUNDLY dependent people. They depend on another's ignorance to maintain their warped reality. For liars, reality is their enemy. Dealing with reality directly is the only way to approach being successful in this life. Any who would obscure reality by lying are surely not on your side of things and must be put asside immediately when their lies are uncovered. I find though that one must be very careful in when and how one reveals certain things about one's self, especially accomplishments of an uncommon nature. I have found this hard to do without being pecieved as immodest. Often best to let others tell things of this nature. What I usually get is: "Why didn't you you tell me you did.....", some are are pleasantly surprised, others, almost resentful that information was withheld, almost as if I had been lying( but not quite). | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:43:26 PM | I've been told my honesty is one of my worst (and best) traits as well. I'd say strongest is my optimism, weakest is my impatience. But my mom said my worst trait (besides cussing like a sailor at the time ;-) was my honesty). So, I don't know. I personally value it highly. I'd rather someone hurt me honestly than to soothe me with a lie .That's a song =) Unfortunately, it's a tough trait to find. I find myself both more and less tolerant of it as I've gotten older.
I say truth is always better, truth will , indeed, set you free. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:42:25 PM | | Well, OP, it all depends on whether or not you want to get ahead! OK, all kidding aside...that's actually true in most cases. The people who get furthest in life have most likely bent the rules somewhere. On the other hand, it depends on how you want your tombstone to read! lol then again, no one really cares after you're dead!! | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:14:35 PM | Life is like a game show.
Don't give them the truth,
give them the Right Answer.
Do I look pretty in this dress?
Did you call that client like I asked?
What did you do last night?
Do you have any spare change?
Do you know how fast you were driving in that school zone?
Come on.
It's not a lie.
It's the Right Answer. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:03:54 AM | | ^^^ I hear you. We are not morally obliged to tell the truth in all circumstances. If a thief enters your home and asks where your hidden valueables are hidden, are you morally obliged to reveal that info? Of course not. Captured by enemies in combat, your orders compell you to be not forthcoming with any info more than you name rank and serial#. Or give the "right" answer. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:14:56 PM | Truth is relative. My truth will likely be different from your truth. Because we experience things differently. It is often not what you sat but how it is said that matters. I can handle someones truth if it is:
1 Owned as that person's experience
2. Said in a respectful way
3. The person speaking their truth is willing to hear my experience truth)
Having said this I think honesty is important but like all other relationship issues the depth and level of honesty goes to how deep the emotional intimacy is between the people involved. I am not going to tell a person I have just met things about myself that are deeply personal and open me to more vulnerability than I am willing to show because I do not know and trust that person. Also I may not be willing to risk saying my truth to a person I have only just met because I do not know how s/he will handle it.
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:38:57 PM | Some truth is relative, some is objective. I think for the sake of the argument here, we refer to the latter, as in; Do you have an STD or not?, Are you married or not? Are you the age you state or not? Are you looking for a LTR or a Fling?
Nothing relative about the truths implied in these essential questions as they assume a shared and objective reality that have real consquences for the parties involved if there is dishonesty; mostly I think because they're about "facts" not "opinions". | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:14:42 PM |
But what about common standards, like the person’s age, for example? What if someone “looks younger” than his/her age and feels that telling the truth would throw him/her out of the pool? And when you meet this person they tell you “it wasn’t important”, but it was for you?
OP...Putting false information on your profile is not only a lie but it's the biggest form of deceit, whether it is age, old photos, marital status etc...It is just plain wrong. As much as I despise people that deliberately go out of their way to BS in their profile, part of me feels a sense of empathy for such people...To be yourself and be proud of who you are is one of the most attractive traits in any person. It's sad that some people aren't able to face reality, what's even sadder is when they post things like....
I always state the truth - as I know it.
........Especially when everyone knows they're lying.
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 2:53:08 PM | Does telling the truth count on tax returns and resumes? LOL I can be a *tad* untruthful at times for my own quirky reasons. For instance, I don't trust the internet. It's a very impersonal environment. There's always a small part of me that is a little leery whenever I give too much personal information on it, like my credit card numbers. I change my credit card numbers every few years.
Similarly, on my profile I "tweaked" just a few things a tiny degree, but not in any way where the reality of me was more than an inch or two to the right or left, and certainly nothing that would give anyone the distinctly wrong impression about something important about me, like my "status". I also keep my photos private, though I'd send them on to anyone I felt comfortable in doing so.
It's just an internet bugaboo of mine, and something I would tell someone about just like I am here the instant I felt a modicum of comfort about it. It has nothing to do with "hiding" anything about myself, or making a deceptive fantasy out of me. It's just an internet quirk of mine. Perhaps a little stupid, a little paranoid. But there you have it. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:30:17 PM | Truth is a must. But there are things depending on the stage of a relationship which might not be something that is appropriate to tell or at that time something that is any of his business. It is not "keeping a secret" but we all have the right to share information when it is in a secure trustful relationship. We don't have to "tell all" to feel that is the only way to be honest.
Truth is very easy, if asked tell the truth, if something you aren't willing to share and don't have that type of understanding--then just say so, don't lie just say at this time I am not willing to share that with you. Not a lie, not untruthful. We have a right to protect our lives and share only what we feel is safe to share with those we trust. This is not being untruthful, just responsible and protective which we have a right to be. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:30:35 PM | I think it's important to tell the truth. There is no point in being dishonest because the truth WILL come out eventually. Secrets will not stay secrets forever. All that is hidden will eventually be revealed. It is better to drag it all out into the open early and often. An honest person is a more trustworthy person in my opinion.
For those reasons I also think it's important to be completely honest on your profile. When I wrote mine, I told of my negative attributes right along with my positive ones.
OP, in regards to the Biblical references you mentioned....I agree when it says "only a fool speaks his whole mind". That's from the book of Proverbs. While it gives no permission for dishonesty, it does seem to indicate that there are times when it is better that we keep our mouths shut rather than always butting in with our opinions. Particularly at times when we have not been asked for our opinions in the first place. That's what I was able to glean from the verse anyway.
So yes, we should always be honest. But we are also to realise that there is a time and a place for speaking our opinions. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 7:03:53 PM | | i know eaxctly what you mean. there are some things that are too silly to lie about(age,divorced etc..) but it was pointed out to me yesterday i was lying on my profile and i didn't even know it. it may be harder to be honest with yourself than someone else. i think trying to get too deep into truth will just make you old. do the best you can hope for the best. have a beer, tell a joke and enjoy each other. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:01:47 PM | Yes, we should. But you raise an important issue.
Beware of people who claim to be "brutally honest." Beware people who brag about how they "call 'em like I see 'em." Often, people use the word "honest" to hide the fact they are rude, cruel, and lack social skills.
You must shaer basic factual information. But you can say many things in many way, all of them honest, without being mean. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:26:17 PM | I am not trying to win any popularity contests. I tell the truth and speak my mind and I want the brutal honest truth and maybe I will get mad or hurt but I still want to hear it.
I wish everyone would just communicate the truth and let the outcome be damned.
It makes me sad to hear how most people think it's ok to lie.
You hold people at a distance when you make a habit of lying to them.
You can't have a relationship or be friends with someone you are lying to.
It's terribly frustrating to want to be friends with someone you like but you
know they lie to you. You think you are sparing someone's feelings by lying
to them? NOPE!!!!!! You are hurting them. Most of the time people pick up
the fact you are lying to them and as a result don't trust you or like you. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:45:01 PM | Please money talks bs walks...
I trust little that comes out of peoples mouth and everything what they do.
IE ask an evil person if their evil as they will perceive themselves as good.
and people who claim to be honest seldom are with others and themselves
Rule of thumb
you never hear a person who is strong say they are strong
as they are too busy lifting | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:55:01 AM |
IE ask an evil person if their evil as they will perceive themselves as good.
That would be They're and not their..(blush) | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:32:03 PM | | If someone asks you a direct question you should be truthful. HOWEVER, there is no need to volunteer information that is not needed or asked for. And, to be honest, some things are no one else's business, unless perhaps, you are in an LTR, and some things even then. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:34:58 AM |
If someone asks you a direct question you should be truthful. HOWEVER, there is no need to volunteer information that is not needed or asked for.
True
There is a difference between being honest and ball busting. | |
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| SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:26:02 PM | | ermmm..... Most sane, semi intelligent people tell the truth when it is beneficial for them. They lie when it is beneficial for them. So get with the program. It's the ones that don't who throw us sane semi intelligent people out of wack. | |
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