| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:37:16 AM | | When this happens I realize that I do not love them at all and never did, because now that I know who/what this person is and I can't stand them, there was no way I would ever have loved them. I just wanted to love them, I just make up loving them, I just over used a word I was hoping was true. Love doesn't turn to hate but often lust does and more than likely, fantasy over someone you don't really know will turn to hate once they ruin your perfectly constructed fairytale. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:50:31 AM | | yes....Dr. Jecke and Mr. Hyde.... a vivid portrayal of a split personality, split in the sense that within the same person there is both an apparently good and an evil personality each being quite distinct from the other....I won't tell who But the Mr. Hyde in him won the battle and I ran faster than lightning!!!! However, hate is a nasty thing...so don't become bitter...learn from it and get past it and you will be happy again. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:02:33 AM | Love and hate are both very intense emotions. So, if you've felt one intense emotion toward them, when they turn out not to be what you thought you loved, of course you're going to feel the other.
Might be a good idea to hold back, withdraw, maybe separate...before things get REALLY ugly and the dishes start flying. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:02:46 AM | | I can't say that I've ever wound up hating anyone I've been in a relationship with. For me, it takes an awful lot of knowing someone first before I'll even admit to myself that I may love them. I may not be able to carry on a romantic relationship with someone for various reasons, but hate is not the predominant reason. When I love someone, there are reasons for it and there will always be a piece of love I carry for them - not in the romantic sense any longer but as a friend. I suppose that explains why I'm still friends with every single one of my past relationships. I couldn't hate someone I truly once loved, or I couldn't have possibly been in love in the first place. I don't hop in and out of love or "think" I am in love with someone. In other words I'm not easily infatuated and don't mistake it for love. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:55:39 AM | | I wish I could turn love into hate. Love is the most constructive positive thing there is...when it's going smooth. The trouble is that it causes pain, despair and vulnerability when it doesn't. Hate and anger can make you stronger and give you more drive and focus than love can in those instances. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 1:59:35 PM | | The real opposite of love would be indifference, not hate. Hate is an intense emotion, just like love. So to go from one to the other, is not that unusual. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:32:16 PM | | hate requires an awful lot of energy. if we get to a point where we simply don't care, we know that we have walked away safely and securely. and won't look back. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:10:19 PM | I firmly believe the higher up you are on someone's pedastal, the longer and harder the fall. It kind of makes me think of balancing on a tightrope over hungry lions. I think love can fade away to indifference, but I think some other emotion like intense disappointment turns into hatred.
Vash | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:27:29 PM |
Sometimes the fact that you loved someone can fuel the eventual hate and you wouldnt have had this feeling if you had not first loved them.
If it's hate, it's misdirected.
I believe it's really anger at no longer feeling loved, in a relationship. It's directed at the other person's actions, not who they are or have become or some hidden personality.
The person is who they always were, even if who they always were isn't who they seemed to turn into, when they stopped loving.
I think the anger comes as a reaction to treatment received in the relationship.
I think the feelings of anger become mutual. (Think "Fatal Instinct.")
Have you ever wondered why this scenario of loving and then discovering the other person is really Caligula, in disguise, repeats itself, over and over and over?
Why do those feelings change? Is it really a case of repeated mistaken identity? The relationship started out loving. Is it possible that nobody changed, but the way each loved the other changed?
Is it possible it's all a case of not knowing how to keep on loving as we loved when it started?
. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:03:53 PM | | Never hate a person only loathe their action(s). When you hate someone it is a poison inside you and you are only hurting yourself. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:17:44 PM | I don't think it works that way....at least it doesn't for me.
Hate is not something I want to carry around....ever
and, we have a very distinct choice to 'choose' to not 'hate'
It's poison to the Soul.
It's actually ok to experience each emotion for 'just' as it is.
So, If I feel disillusioned, then, well. ..I deal with disillusionment.
If I feel disappointed in someone , or something...I don't hate that person or thing
I just feel disappointed
The wise ones above me here said it
Love doesn't fuel Hate.
Hate fuels hate.
Kimbo
 | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:31:24 PM | | so we should all become comfortably numb? sounds like a good idea. like garth brooks said " ive got friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away. im not big on sosical graces so i think ill slip on down to the oasis" | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:34:33 PM | I don't think it works that way....at least it doesn't for me.
Hate is not something I want to carry around....ever
and, we have a very distinct choice to 'choose' to not 'hate'
It's poison to the Soul.
im my expierence though hate and disillusionment are not nessacarily a bad thing. they can keep the fires burning that keep you warm and the memories of why you hate can also keep you from mistake number two. ( getting involved again) | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:34:59 PM | I don't think it works that way....at least it doesn't for me.
Hate is not something I want to carry around....ever
and, we have a very distinct choice to 'choose' to not 'hate'
It's poison to the Soul.
im my expierence though hate and disillusionment are not nessacarily a bad thing. they can keep the fires burning that keep you warm and the memories of why you hate can also keep you from mistake number two. ( getting involved again) | |
|
| Can love really turn to hate
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:20:30 PM | I thought I could hate someone I'd loved, til the death of my ex-husband.
I "hated" my ex for the bad things he'd done, until I had to watch him die a prolonged wasting death from a horrible illness. It tortured me to watch him in torture and I realized that if I could have, I would have, relieved his suffering.
That's what it took to show me it wasn't hate for him I felt, but something more like hanging on to a worn-out wish to blame him.
Now, because of that, I'm not sure I can hate anyone any more (not that it was ever a goal !! :).
His epic betrayals & other atrocities still just gall me sometimes, and death didn't turn him into an angel in anyone's eyes. But when I encounter mean people who make my skin crawl, etc. -- I know now that if they were standing on the edge of a cliff and stumbled, I'd want to try to pull them back to safety, even if they just cut my throat in a business deal. | |
|
| Can love really turn to hate
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:17:41 AM | ^^^^^Then you are a better person than me, for sure. I take it very personally
when someone betrays my trust. | |
|
| Can love really turn to hate
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:55:38 AM | yes, I believe we all should become comfortably numb....
since most of humankind is already uncomfortably numb, might as well work a bit to improve our positions.
people betray your trust...? Well, that can mean many things , ...
people have their trust bars set at all different levels...you might know that if your trust bar is set like a trip wire,, then you hare hiding..and don't trust, very much if at all, and perhaps even someone saying 'ONE thing.....not meaning any harm..can set off the "Invader " alarm.
It's becoming clearer every day...the largest issues are around trust.
people wont really let anyone in....or , they have the landscape sooooo strewn with hidden snare traps just waiting...waiting...for one word.....to blow it all to bits.
and, yet....they fish...they fish.......they fish
when inside, they never come to grips..face the face....with the real fact.. any truth, except manufactured truths.....
They shouldn't be on here....they don t trust, there may be hate.....
logical conclusion: there will NEVER be another relationship......
........ever
many start/stops perhaps
ahh...well, whatever gives lonely life meaning, I suppose.
have a good Tuesday
Kimbo | |
|
| Can love really turn to hate
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:27:16 PM | @when will this work26
see though i have had two wifes that cheated on me. and i forgave them. both are ex wifes for other reasons. and marital fidelty is the biggest betrayl of trust there is. but i am always there for those two pepole if they ever need me. ( i know some would say whipped or door mat). but the fact is yes there is a time to hate but there is also a time to forgive and move on. and that also entails forgetting. there always comes a time when you need ure friends. and even ex lovers can make the best of friends. time does heal all wounds even though thier are scars. thats why because of the cheating i have decided i will be frank with every woman lets be open about sex and just have a swinger realtionship. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:38:57 PM |
Have you ever experienced the feeling of being so disillusioned with someone you love that you started to hate them? They not only fell off the pedastal you had them on but actually seemed to be the opposite of what you thought they were?
Not personally felt like that, but I've found from personal experience and talking with buddies, that women often seem to despise the "love of their lives" for the exact thing that they fell in love with in the first place....
... it's a curious phenomenon that SEEMS to be more of a female thing than a guy thing....
As I've said before and am happy to repeat for the edification of those who've never had the life-altering experience of my wisdom:
Today's soulmate is tomorrow's shithead.
 | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/24/2009 4:42:56 PM | | the thing is i dont believe in realtional ship love though. i think love is an outdated idea given us by religion. given us by hollywood and by the elder generation. and that works for me because i dont really believe in hate either. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:02:53 PM | | hi when...don't let the hate consume you. people often feel so betrayed when something happens that they don't realize part of the reason is the pedestal. the pedestal is merely projection. you see some good qualities in them and add more. it's easy to overlook the failings because you have your rose-colored glasses on.it's not them but the feeling of betrayal that is getting to you. let the hate go. i know it's not easy but in the long run you will be better off. you're a good person who deserves better than that guy. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:47:40 PM | There is a fine line between Love and Hate.
It IS about disillusionment, treachery and deceit.
I've been there! What I realized was the hate came so vilely to protect me from my own disillusionment and the mere thought I would ever recede back to love that man again.
It took more out of me to continue to hate him than to love him.
Eventualy, I realized, I loved him anyway, that is why I hated him so much.
We still talk, we still love, I stay away, he still tries to draw me back in.
I see him for what he really is; I still love the guy.... it doesn't go away and I hate him for that, while I love him.
But, go back... NEVER! | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:31:52 PM | Have you ever experienced the feeling of being so disillusioned with someone you love that you started to hate them? They not only fell off the pedastal you had them on but actually seemed to be the opposite of what you thought they were?
Sometimes the fact that you loved someone can fuel the eventual hate and you wouldnt have had this feeling if you had not first loved them.
ANYTIME, you put someone on a pedastal you will eventually come to recent them, whether it be your partner, father, mother, child etc.... the ego loves to think of itself as being the special one! (Which one are You??)
The trouble comes when the the egos (the one you have on a pedastal and you) clash, I wouldn't call it hate?! I would call it fantasy, illusion, and/or make believe?? What comes next??
Facing yourself?.............no praise, no blame here!
Just notice how you are setting yourself aside for something better?? Is it better??  | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:06:03 PM | | When I got married I loved my husband with all of my being...my heart, my soul, my mind and my body. We were not married very long when I found out that he was cheating on me. I was devisated.....my heart was broken. This was the man that I wanted to spend my dying breath with. At one point I really do think that I hated that man with the same passion that I had loved him with. What a strong feeling....both love and hate. I have never again felt such love or such hate. | |
|
| When love turns to hate..
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:27:32 PM | | Nope .. not ever. Once I've loved someone I'll always love them.. Love doesn't turn to hate IMO, it just morphs into a sort of indifference. I guess I'm fortunate. I don't comprehend how you can hate someone who you once had love for.. I may hate the outcome, or the action(s) that led to us parting though. | |
|
Home
login 
