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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:32:30 AM | | I think men almost expect women to make the move now, they have for so long. If I see somoee I'm interested in, I let it be known but gracefully :) | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/7/2009 11:22:15 AM | more and more and more and more women should make first contact with guys......
............it would be a far better place on this site if that were the case, not because we guys are lazy as , in my case i message quite a few women but get no responses so if the women started messageing more and more guys then it would be more fun.
the fact that a lot of women on here are looking for that 6 foot tall " mr perfect " that doesnt exist is the fact that this site is the way it is. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/7/2009 11:25:42 AM |
if the women started messageing more and more guys then it would be more fun
Again, what makes you think they aren't when they see something they like? | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/7/2009 11:39:29 AM | ^^^^^^^^^
from what i have read on the forums, it still seems that its men making more " first contact " messages ............ and women are still expecting men to make that " first contact " but.............what most men are complaining about is the FACT that women only respond to certain guys whereas the majority of men are stating they respond to ALL messages they recieve.
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:43:37 AM | | Another thing that would be at least a little bit better if after the guy has made the first move and sent a message, it would be nice if the girl would re-initiate the conversation, like both taking turns initiating. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:52:55 AM | My vote: I think today its a very accepted way of meeting someone, and frankly I wish more women would make a first move. That doesn't mean that I as a man give up my "responsibility" to treat you like a woman such as, opening a car door for you, paying for a night out, etc...
I think the thing is, that women don't prefer to make an introduction for some reason. Maybe a woman can explain that one to me. I know if I have gotten an email from a woman introducing herself, I always send an email back even if I'm not interested. I think its the appropriate thing to do.
If you were to say you were interested it would not be offensive to me at all. It may not lead to that "love connection" but again it might, don't know about that one, but the point is, that you made the effort and you will find men to be friends if the connection doesn't happen.
My opinion for what its worth. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:55:21 PM | I do try to make the first move, as often as possible. I mean, the worst that can happen is that the guy isn't interested, right?
There are times, though, when I don't make a move, much as I may want to, because I'm not feeling too confident, and don't think I'm what they're looking for anyway. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:30:41 AM | ^^^^
there is much more of a chance the guy will like/want you.
get 20 " average" women together and one guy.........there is a huge chance that guy will like the majority of the women in front of him and he would at least want to date or get to know them.
get 20 " average" men together and one woman, the chances are that the woman will like/want to date/fancy a lower percentage of these men because she will be far more picky and fussier than the male in a similar situation.
One just has to look on POF to see this happen on a daily basis..........hundreds of men messaging women, hundreds of men dissapointed with the " unread deleted " or " read deleted " . I wonder how many guys recieving messages ignore them or delete messages without even reading them.
Since i joined this site for the 3rd time ( glutton for punishment) ive not yet recieved one single first contact message from a woman, ive wrote quite a few out to women i like or i think are interesting yet i still get very few replies back.........this is the way of life on POF for a lot of guys.
It is a playground for the girls and ofcourse for their egos.
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:39:00 AM | I believe men should make the first move, especially online. If a man sees your profile and doesn't respond, he's not attracted.
I had one exception to this. One time a guy looked at my profile and didn't respond. I noticed that he did and had to write him because I loved what he had to say in his profile.
We actually ended up going on a few dates and were very attracted to each other.
I know a couple of people who asked a guy out, but they are like models who a guy would probably be scared to approach.
I am an outside of the mainstream. So I know I'm not the typical thing most guys come here for.
It's against nature for women to pursue a man. As with anything there are exceptions, but if a man doesn't want you, he doesn't. Making the first move may distract him for a bit, but ultimately, nature prevails. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:58:42 AM | NaturalBoheme ^^^^^^^^^^^^
the fact is, that it is the guys making most of the effort in contacting the women on here.
the sad truth is that its the women on here not making the effort to REPLY to the majority of the men making the effort to write to these women.
the women are just too fussy and picky at who they want to reply to, the ladies are looking for their " mr perfect " and nothing else will do for them..........hence we get the " moaning " on the forums from the guys at why are the women on here just not replying back to our messages.
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:37:22 PM | Since i joined this site for the 3rd time ( glutton for punishment) ive not yet recieved one single first contact message from a woman, ive wrote quite a few out to women i like or i think are interesting yet i still get very few replies back.........this is the way of life on POF for a lot of guys.
It is a playground for the girls and ofcourse for their egos.
^^^bushcutter.....It's good to know that your one of the very few guys that caught onto that. That's exactly what this is, a playground for them to have their precious ego's boosted. And of course at the same time admiring all the attention. Which is why I'm only here for the forums. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:28:28 PM | its really weird every man's profile i look at and dont send a message, they always end up messaging me...every profile i look at and do send a message...they never reply
oh f'sss
you can't win for losing sometimes | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:36:23 AM | Bottom line is most you like won't like you back - and most who like you, you won't like back. Since men tend to make the first move more often, the guys women don't like are the ones messaging, I'd say a little over 80% of the time.
Women have a choice:
1. Pick from the guys incoming, most of which aren't their type, just to kill time or in hopes one will pan out.
2. Pick no one and go read a book (at least that's productive)
3. Step up to the plate and message the guys they like.
If a guy wants to be in category 1, that means that he's ok with a woman talking to him though she really wants someone else or just isn't all that into it. Anything else will be seen as too picky (especially by guys not getting picked, duh).
Guys if a woman's interested, she'll respond. If she isn't she won't. Why isn't relevant. If offline is better for you - then by all means sign off and get out there. Online isn't for everyone...it's mostly for people who are already doing well offline and want to add to their choices. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:49:17 PM | I hear you Meg, I totally agree. That's why I don't write men anymore. Plus who knows how many fakes there are.
The only time I don't write back is if someone can't spell. I'm not talking about one or two words, either. I'm talking about some guy who totally butchers the language.
OP means original poster. That's the person who started the thread. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:51:19 PM | well now another fascinating revelation .. all the books say let the men chase you until you catch one
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| Some insight on women approaching on POF
Posted: 10/13/2009 12:28:21 PM | The women that have contacted me first on POF (a handful) have been epic fail for the most part. Attractive, interesting profiles, but the execution is marginal at best.
Their msgs typically have no reference to my profile and include something along the lines of "hi, saw your profile. Let's chat", but with gross grammar mistakes and boring sentence structure.
At first I thought it was a mass msg, but apparently you need to be an event planner for that.
I've been responding to these msgs, and sometimes the sender won't even read her own response back!
I've only been here for a few weeks, but I am starting to realize there are a whole different set of rules. I'm not snobby, but I put some effort into my contacts, which may in fact, be ruining my chances!
I would say women should probably stick to sending decent signals and looking pretty. | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/13/2009 12:30:42 PM | Damn typo.
I meant TAKING what you like.
Helps if your entire profile ISN'T WRITTEN UP LIKE THIS.
No need to shout. | |
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| Some insight on women approaching on POF
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:24:02 AM | | Is it true that women make the first move more often than it seems and us men are just too blind to notice it? One middle-aged man told me that us humans have lost the ability to sense and pick up pheromones a long time. | |
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| Some insight on women approaching on POF
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:54:39 AM | | Whats interesting is that women don't have to put even half the effort compared to men and they have every possible advantage in the dating and relationship scene and yet they still believe that they have it harder. | |
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| Some insight on women approaching on POF
Posted: 10/20/2009 1:03:59 AM | | l've been 1st contacted by more women than l've 1st contacted, so generalizing women in that regard is off point....remember the famous POF recourse "the common denominator is you" | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:35:52 AM | It's a new century and all ...women work...men can be home with the kids etc BUT when it comes to catching a mate...doesn't alittle bit of nature come into play...I mean look at the bird's situation...the males are the ones all dolled up with color and more plumage and they do the ritual mating dance...
I'm a gal who has made first moves over a period of years/situations but I still think it's nature that the guy likes the chase(hunt) and gals like to be captured and enraptured...Primal Urges lol | |
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| Girls making the first move???
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:43:27 AM | Regarding the statement about women being too picky...I don't get much mail on POF but one profile struck my interest of a man who wrote me. I was interested right up until he mentioned "what" he was good at doing to the female if we connected ..Really ...for me it was a real turn off to put that kind of sexual detail in his profile (hey we're all good at something but no need for it to show up in a profile...save it for later)...
would like some suspense... | |
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