| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:31:30 AM | There are so many days where I look at the fact that I'm single and think "Wow... is this EVER going to change?" But then I think about it... and I kind of LIKE being single. I like going out on dates. I like meeting new people. I like all of the things that come with dating!
Maybe I just NEED to be single. I never really dated much until now. Previously, I had only been in long term relationships. So, naturally THATS what I originally wanted! Now I'm kind of just enjoying the dating scene. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:33:03 AM | After my last "long term relationship" it sucked being single for about 2-3 months.
Then i started meeting other girls, no relationships...just fun.
now 8 months later, Im starting to realize I want a special someone to be there with me. not just a hookup. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:27:29 PM | Shoot, OP, I'm ahead of you. At this point, it will take some convincing - or someone really wowing me to - get me to date. Looking at all the BS in the dating/singles scene, I've come to the conclusion that I just don't need it. To coin what some others in this thread said, I'd rather be single than to wish I was.
I didn't find getting used to being single scary - I found it liberating.
If "she" comes along, fine. If not, no problemo.  | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:13:36 PM | | I agree...I find being single very liberating, and I ask myself, "is this really what I want out of life?" The longer I am alone, the more selfish I am becoming. Don't want to cook tonight? I don't. Want to stay up until 3:00 a.m. at a club with friends? I Do! I don't need my father reincarnated to tell me when to come home and when to do my chores. I have cats and I have a dog, and while conversation might be lacking, sometimes they make more sense than some of the men I have met. I don't get asked on dates anymore - not sure why - but I have a very active social life and laugh more than most of my friends who are in relationships. Is that normal? I am just not really interested in becoming one of these fawning women who blink their eyes and giggle at every word that comes out of a man's mouth....I just want to be me....and that seems to scare the crap out of men. I had enough years twisting my wants and needs around to make someone else happy. I'm probably associating with the wrong men, so just as well that I am not dating. But do I want to be alone when I am 80? or 70? or 60? When should I start to worry? | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:17:38 PM | being single isn't bad, i say everyone should enjoy it to the fullest and really seek to do /exp and enjoy everything you can so that you have fully exhausted those interest, desires an you won't have any or as many temptations/distractions when you do get into a relationship.
then again, when you get to comfortable w/it its hard to adjust to being accountable and/or responsible to another person...
but try to enjoy it and don't look at it as a death sentence | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:58:08 AM | OP: your profile reminds me of an ex female friend (She's now 40 yrs old, no prospects, never married, no kids and has a masters degree - want her email/number?  ) She used to lament whiningly to me, all she just wants is a husband with 2.2 kids and the white picket fence. She wants to go grocery shopping with her man and be that 'perfect' couple. I finally couldn't stand it any longer and told her what it's like to be in a "real" relationship. It's not a walk in the park. It takes work to continue that "spark" and we're human, so likely we'll argue and disagree eventually.
If you're not content nor comfortable spending time by yourself, how do you expect someone to enjoy being with you if you don't enjoy being with yourself????????
Just saying..... | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:40:10 AM |
I am very used to being single,and I love it! What scares the heck out of me is that one day I am going to have to share what I have with someone.
Same here.
The longer I am single, the more I worry that when I do find someone (I am NOT scared I'll remain single, but I would be OK with that prospect) that I'll have to TRY to get used to all the trappings of having a relationship again.
Sharing things and space has never been my strong point. I am an only child, I never had to share. Having to inform someone else about what I'm doing/where I'm going? Not my bag.
Maybe if I was in relationships my whole life single would be worse.
As a teen and up till I was about 26 or 27.. I was NEVER single longer than a month or 2. For the last 10-11 years, I've been single more than coupled.. a lot more. For someone who always had an SO, I thought for sure I'd go insane, but it was just the opposite.
I really got into my space being truly my own space or my time being truly my own time.
~~~~~Well when you actually get completely comfortable being single, you will finally be ready to be in a real and healthy relationship!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to agree, but when I think about shacking up again and having to do the SHARE-ZIES thing, I want to break stuff. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:32:03 AM | | Oh I feel you on that one! I actually cringe at the thought of having to rearrange my life for someone else, lol. I know that is REALLY bad. When the right one comes along you wont even give it a second thought, or I've been told. I think it just gets to the point that you find its easier to get things done when you only have to think about you and your wants, needs, and schedule. We are very adaptable and can easily incorporate the change being in a relationship brings, so don't worry too much cabrandon. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:04:01 PM |
Being single is much better than being in a terrible relationship anyday.
Hear hear! This is an excellent quote that I adhere to myself (or at least try to!).
Being single isn't all bad... Sure, we all want to find that "someone"... That's perfectly normal... But let's face it... In today's complex World, finding that "perfect" someone is a tall order.
I guess just hang in there and try and enjoy your Life. You're definitely not alone so chances are something may happen if you give yourself the right opportunities.
But these are the modern times I guess... All lot of things that should be naturally occurring just don't seem to happening with the same frequency anymore. It's all becoming a tad too complex… | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:15:43 PM |
There's no good reason why we must give up all the things we enjoy about being single.
If a relationship requires that we do, perhaps we all need to ask ourselves how healthy a relationship it really is?
Boy ain't THAT the truth. If it's just like me being single except once in a while someone's with me, that's something to consider. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:25:20 AM | I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I have been single, if you include the ex's affair, about 4 years
It does get lonely, and tends to make me wonder if the right one is out there, but i find that surrounding myself with good friends helps quite a bit.
Hey, its better than being in a bad relationship, right?
Anyway, Id love to be a good friend , and help fill the void you are feeling.
Always rememeber, everything happens for a reason and you are single now for a very good one, just hard to figure out why.
Perhaps you just didnt meet me yet ?
Jeff
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:06:00 PM | I have been single for sometime now, I'm ready for serious i have all my ducks in a row, and all i need now is my other happy but what im scraed of is that i have been so used to doing everything on my own that it is hard to share my space and get usedto having someone around, at first i get bother by the little things and can't get used to the idea over ever depending on someone else after having to fend for myself and do everything on my own
I'm afraid this ruins my relationships and why im nowon a dating website  | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:55:13 PM | I can relate to your situation. However, the fact that you are still young (32 yo) there is a lot of opportunity for you to still find the right women. Don't be discourage, give it time and it will come.
As for me...Whew I am 50 I am really worried of being single...LOL...
Take Care....and Good Luck!!!
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:24:38 PM | not to sound disresectful to you ^^^^^, but i do not want to end up older and still single but am afraid i am going to, i tend to push guys away whenthey start to talk serious, and have been working really hard to get my ducks in a row, now that they are, i find it harder and more uncomfortable to date,and find myself getting picky to a point that i feel there is no one out there for me, how do i stop that??? i havent been on any really bad dates, buti think i am to critical because im afraid of getting too serious?? make any sense??
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:11:28 PM | | Its even worse when you got used to it (at least outwardly) and then you meet someone, take a chance and then 12mths later (after having lived together for half that time) you find yourself right back on the singles rack again! But I'd do it all again for a chance to not be alone! Get out there - take a chance otherwise the thing you dread the most may just become the reality! | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE,which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:29:20 PM |
I am getting used to being SINGLE,which scares hell out of me.
Yeah that's tough cause it's not really the whole entire you that's getting used to it... there's always that part of you that still has a need for sex and a relationship. And then there is a part of you that wants to find someone while you are still considerably young and hoping to start a family one day. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE,which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:44:02 PM | "There's no good reason why we must give up all the things we enjoy about being single.
If a relationship requires that we do, perhaps we all need to ask ourselves how healthy a relationship it really is?"
well good luck finding a relationship with that mentality.
sex with different people, not compromising on anything, doing whatever you want...I don't think your going to find that in a relationship.
The only thing that scares me with being single for the past 3 years and just dating is how much I actually enjoy it and don't feel lonely at all.
While if this continues for the next 30 years of my life, well that will be a load of fun but not exactly conducive to having a family or not dieing alone. I guess that is another thing that scares me with being single is if you take away those two variables, a relationship actually sounds pretty boring at this point. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:45:34 PM | | I absolutely feel that I am so used to being single, yet it doesn't bother me at all because I have preferred it this way for a long time. I would never even think of changing it because too many things would be spoiled if I was in a relationship. I really value my lone time to such a large extent now it would never be possible. But I just wouldn't have it any other way. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:50:06 PM | Love being single, but then I love being in a relationship....well that is because either way I still live with me. I do truly believe the only person we have to like or love is ourselves. Being alone? I have been alone many times in life and when that happens I enjoy that too. Some of the best times in my life were when I just thought things out and felt better. So.......live and let live....love is great and always around the corner if you let it in.  | |
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