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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:12:41 AM | Right there with you....
I've grown rather frustrated with it, in fact.....
I'll be sitting at home and name off all of the wonderful perks to being alone-but then, I want to go grab a bite to eat....I HATE eating alone....or I want to go see a movie....I HATE going to the theater alone....but then, I like cutting my hair when I want to...it's a catch 22 | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:33:16 AM | I feel the same way! Ive been single for awhile now..and alot of times I like it. I like havin my space, an not havin to worry about sumone else. There is also a bad side too..I do miss havin someone by my side to. I seem to run into alot of guys that just want that hook up and thats it. thats not what im lookin for, so for rite now I enjoy my single status, untill I find that 1 person who shows me he is diffrent. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:00:11 PM | | I've never felt pressure to need to be with someone so to me being single is just a way of life. Sure, on occasion I miss the companionship of having someone here to share things with or to be able to let my guard down and be Vulnerable, but that is a want and not a need. But then again it has been a couple of decades since I have had that close of a relationship so am not so sure how I would encompass such a closeness. So am taking my time in putting myself back out there. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:13:08 PM | | scary is right, you're getting set in your ways! Hopefully you'll keep an open mind!! Once you mentally settle with this within, you will convince yourself you will be ok alone forever. But bottom line is, everyone needs someone. So get yourself out there and be open to be GIVING... once you stop GIVING, it will be a twister eventually when you really do find the right person, because you will push them away! | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:29:09 PM | After having been SINGLE for a long time, I feel now getting very comfortable with my SINGLE status and even feel as if I am getting better and better at that as time goes by.
This is one scary thought because I do not want to be alone.
Does anybody feel that way?
Yup, I'm in that club also. I would like to find someone who could take my bad jokes and snoring at night though. I do not think we are made to be alone. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:38:33 PM |
I'll be sitting at home and name off all of the wonderful perks to being alone-but then, I want to go grab a bite to eat....I HATE eating alone....or I want to go see a movie....I HATE going to the theater alone....
Both of these things can actually be more enjoyable once you get used to them, especially movies. Heck, you don't talk to anyone in a theater anyway, the whole point of being there is to watch the movie, and you don't have to plan around someone else when you want to see something or worry they won't like the type of movie you like. You just grab your keys and go.
Restaurants, you just sit at the bar and meet new people, or grab a booth and bring something to read. It can be pretty relaxing. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:44:36 PM | Being single is great! I always feel so much more comfortable, so much more 'myself' being single. It's ok to like it!
Movies by yourself are better than with someone. Dinner ... not so much, I admit, but there are always friends for that.
And - if you really don't want to be single anymore, going places alone makes it easier to meet someone, or for someone to approach you b/c you're obviously not with anyone or in a crowd of friends. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:42:35 PM | | I know exactly what you mean, I've been single for long periods and I do prefer it for the most part and yes that kinda scares me. It's less stressfull and like you said you get very comfortable and you can be very busy and active if you want to be and not if you don't.I do miss conversation and touch though and those are the things that keep me hoping that someone will come along for me.I'm sure they will for you to. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:09:46 PM | | here's my take on it - nothing wrong with being single if you're happy and comfortable with the whole idea. If you're unhappy about it than that would be a problem. Just because you're in a relationship and/or married does not mean you're happy and fulfilled - I would say you're better off being single and sometimes feeling lonlely, which is natural, than being attached and feeling alone and lonley. Nothing worse than being lonely when you're actually not. ..in other words it is the quality of a relationship that matters not wether or not you're in a serious relationship. I've been married for a long time but it makes for an even lonlier life and in every sense of the word I'm alone except that someone lives in the same house as me! So be glad you have the freedom to do whatever you want without answering to anyone -maybe some day you just might find that someone that will "fill the void" until then enjoy your freedom! | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:44:09 PM | I totally feel this way as well.
It really isn't as bad as everyone made it out to be LOL! So low maintenance. I'm loving it.
I think if I ever do have a man in my life again, he'll need to have a place of his own and a completely separate life and we can have clandestined evenings chasing each other around hotel room beds. LMAO!
But seriously, I'm loving this no drama stuff. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:24:34 PM | | I understand what you are saying. I am not lonely and I stay pretty busy. I am content you might say. However, I was married for over 23 years. I lived a single life for five years before that and I have lived a single life now for 2 and 1/2 years. I love the fact of I can go as I please, return when I want, eat what I want, watch on televsion what I want, stay on the computer for as long as I want, etc. I MISS-waking up in someones arms, having a conversation over breakfast, dinner or just driving in the car. Sharing holidays with that special someone, etc. I know though that if the right person comes along I am more than willing to compromise and share. In a marriage or a serious relationship you cannot always have things your way, not for it to ever really last. I hope it is not in God's plan for me to live the rest of my life alone but if it is, I will and be happy with the fact that I can. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:09:19 PM | I agree about being scared to be single for to long . I have found that it seems to be that the longer a female is single then the more she will not want to be with someone as well. After reading some of the write ups in here i have confirmed my suspisions now as well. And the women wonder why us men have problems in a relationship when the women are not being honest and want seperate houses . cmon what ever happened to wanting to be with someone and work thru the bad times and really enjoy the good times . Who knows maybe the next generation will figure it out as i see our generation has just made it worse . just an opinion and we all have one of those to share .  | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:15:48 PM | Hey Brandon, thanks for throwing this singles party! I have read all the posts and having a great time doing so  I'm not here to tell you what's wrong with your perspective, prophesize how the rest of your story goes or give you a pep talk either. I guess I stopped in to say that I feel like I can understand where you are coming from. I know for myself, spending time with myself out of a relationship has helped me to grow. My friends are happy they get more of my time and attention. My family is too, and I am grateful I can just pop over and see them without the issue being a compromise for anyone else. I know that my past relationship journeys have also been huge opportunities for growth and understanding the human condition, and that we peeps sometimes crave that opportunity on a soul level as well.
Giving our heart to someone, having it shattered to bits, healing and finding our center, forgiving and coming to peace and acceptance about the past and present-all of that came out of each relationship experience for us-ooh what a doozy these trips we've been on ha? It is difficult for some to imagine growing old alone. For many of us tho, it is equally difficult to let down our defenses and 'self-sufficiency' enough to do the 'We' and make it last. How did we get here-well, that's surely been covered in other threads-(me thinks). Hang in there Brandon and all of my lovely single friends on POF! We're gonna be okay, promise.
In fact, truth is, we're doing great! To everybody: I am so glad we have each other to lean on at times too! I really appreciate all of your collective wisdom, humorous comebacks, and yes even your longsuffering gripes! These forums have helped me in many ways to realize how very connected we relatives really are, and how common are our hearts who feel. We don't know who among us will try love again and who will walk off into the sunset alone whistling to themself. I think we are all here right now with each other teaching and learning for a reason.And Bro, The band you invited to your party rocks! Who woulda known fishies were so musically talented? Hey Brandon-can you pass the chips and salsa? Thanks again for the invite! ok........... everybody ready? Time for the big POF group hug Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now say cheese and remember this moment always-Wiyan  | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:15:11 PM | Hey OP, your feelings reminds of one my favorite songs of all time, a country song (no less) by Shelby Lynne.
I Need A Heart To Come Home To
Swore the day you left me
That I would never fall in love again
Cause when you love somebody
They're only gonna hurt you in the end
So I wrapped up all my memories
And I put them on a shelf
And I find that after all this time
I've been living by myself
But I need a heart to come home to
Someone I can tell my secrets to
I need a heart to hold on to
I need a sweet, sweetheart like you
I can buy the groceries
And I can cook them on my own
I can pay the bills
But I don't wanna lie here all alone
This lonely old apartment
Feels just like a prision cell
When I get that empty feeling
That I know all too well
Something happened
The night you kissed me
My will to love
Was born again
Your tenderness
Oh, it has convinced me
What a lonely fool I've been | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:48:57 PM | ^^^Yes, actually which should make it easier for those who are, since they have that much less competition.
It's more like being open to it if it's something that works for you, rather than trying to hunt it down and force it. If it happens, great - if it doesn't great. It's about being happy regardless. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:19:16 PM | | I prefer being single and alone. I like it that way. Life is better. I enjoy going to the movies on my own...I don't have to listen to my friend/SO doing those 'hush' whisper things. I can dine on my own and not have to put up with small talk, people wanting to sample the food, ect. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:08:45 PM | I have been single for a while and its only now appreciate just how much a partner changes your life.
I come and go as I like.
I spend all my money on me.
I go to bed when I like and watch what I want on TV without having to consult someone else.
I fully own my own house and car.
The longer i am single the more I like it.
For the sake of sex and some company and the possibility of losing half your home its just not worth it.
As time goes on women become more and more demanding and this is a huge turn off. | |
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