Meriah
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 76 | |
| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:51:26 PM | I guess I am just frusturated that my son is going to deter my ability to find a guy
if you say this you shouldnt of had your son!
Its not your son its you!
Women need to get over themselves and making excuses of why you can't get dates!
I'm 21, a single mom and all I care about is my son and myself. Making our life better!
Think of your child before who your going to have sex with next week... stag shops were invented for a reason. Make you life stable, make you self sufficent, as well as mature and you will have no problem finding a man! | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:12:44 PM |
I guess I am just frusturated that my son is going to deter my ability to find a guy
if you say this you shouldnt of had your son!
Its not your son its you!
Women need to get over themselves and making excuses of why you can't get dates!
I'm 21, a single mom and all I care about is my son and myself. Making our life better!
Think of your child before who your going to have sex with next week... stag shops were invented for a reason. Make you life stable, make you self sufficent, as well as mature and you will have no problem finding a man!
So you had a child at 17 and are on a dating site. Why are you saying she shouldn't have had her son just because she makes the realization that having a child will hinder her dating life? | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:53:42 AM | Shug I used to be that young single mum... 19 and 21... What I did was upped my real estate, and realized that people have choices, especially at the age you are at. The reality is men in your age group are less likely to want to jump into an instant made family. My oldest is 25, and I didn't get married until she was 8, and her sister was 5. He had a son he was raising himself...
The good news, when your child is raised, and if you haven't found the love of your life, YOU TOO can reject men that are NOW single dads, raising their kids...
If you let this "rejection" become to personal it is going to start reflecting on your parenting, hard not to when the very being you love and brought into the world is NOW hindering your dating life...
Hun it isn't difficult to find a man... What is difficult is to find the right guy, that is ready for the ready made family, and willing to jump in with both feet and be a daddy figure...
Give it time, and don't ever let being single feel like some huge burden... Believe me there are worse things in the world, and being single is not one of them...
Enjoy your childs young years, get into single parenting groups, and be a great mum... At 20, you have plenty of time to get some dating in, and even relationships, especially as people age, and realize that being a parent isn't as horrible and scary as it seems at the tender age of 20... | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:31:22 AM | I have a friend that has the same problem. Anytime she tells a potential date she has a kid they run.
Me personally I do not wish to date single mothers. I very much enjoy WELL BEHAVED children, and the child is a reflection of the mother. If the child is unruly
and disrespectful(I'm not saying your child is, this is strictly hypothetical) then one can assume that the mother does not value order and respect.
Also there is the issue of the jealous ex. I would hate to have to shoot a man because he wants to act a fool in front of the mother of his child to prove some banal point. Another reason is possibly(this is a possibility) of complaints from said single mother about a deadbeat dad. A potential date does not want to hear about how DBD is late with the child support check or how you don't like DBD's new girlfriend being around your child, etc.etc.
Or maybe the guys you are trying to date are not into the "just add dad instant family "
scenario. Maybe they just don't like kids at all(me personally,I want my own family, with my own kids).
Maybe the best course of action would be to find a single dad who enjoys being a father. I have a feeling if you found a single father that shared the same interest and ideals, you could have a successful relationship. But what do I know .I'm just some guy responding to a thread.
Best of luck | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 3:15:16 AM | hi deary i have no issues with it an wish i could find a nice lady where we could have a futre love honor an respect be it she got kids or not is not relevant mine are grown up but i still luv kids..i raised mine mostly but if you ever wish chat then you got my id so look me up an we will tlk and ye si will date you as long you got self respect know how to respect urself ur partner an others can communnciate want to be friends partner companion then lover in that order that is what i look for in a relationship..look me up an we can talk an take care girly you so pretty an stop stress urself..be more confident but you lack confidence as no man mad eoyu feel confident in urself an i know u strong lady as u have a child is a lone parent an try to rais ea child on ur own so ur stronger than you think..be positive an if u wish i will like chat an know you better as a person too  | |
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Meriah
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 82 | |
| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:35:02 AM | One thing i was 16!
another thing having her son didnt defer her dating life there is tones of guys out there who will date single mothers.... I'm on here to meet friends and chat when my son is sleeping!
I'm sorry I'm not out searching for the love of my life, I love my life. Having a man isn't all that women should want. You should be happy with yourself and your life having a man shouldnt be the one thing that makes you happy.
When you have a child you put them first just how it goes for most mothers my self included. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:44:54 AM | ^^^ You're really not doing anything to help the single mother stereotype, hun. I suggest you stop posting things like this.
I am not even going to tell you why. Just trust me. I truly do have your best interests at heart. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:53:58 AM | {another thing having her son didnt defer her dating life there is tones of guys out there who will date single mothers.... }
- for guys in their late 30's or older that may be true. But honestly, when I was in my 20s,. guys in their 20s were not interested in dating a single mother of that age. No, they were interested in sleeping with the single moms at that age. Sad, but true. And when girls post full body pictures trying to look sexy or cute, or when they post pictures that is for the sole purpose of showing their chest... well, i am afraid that is all they will attract. I dont quite know if the OP has posted pictures of herself like that, I am just speculating because I have seen numerous posts from young girls who complain about not getting any serious offers for dates, the offers they get are for sex or from men that think that all they want is sex.
My stepmom always used to tell me you get what you give. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:57:30 AM | | what you don't actual expect some one of my age group how dose not have kids to put there life on hold just because you have a kid. when you had a great shot at life and choice your path. you got remember the man dose not have to put your kid first because the kids not his. he got put his life first because it is his life. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:17:01 AM |
what you don't actual expect some one of my age group how dose not have kids to put there life on hold just because you have a kid. when you had a great shot at life and choice your path. you got remember the man dose not have to put your kid first because the kids not his. he got put his life first because it is his life.
Wow. Single ladies everywhere are crying in their pillows realizing that you won't date them. I count at least 6 grammatical errors and that is just glancing through it. What a catch you must be!  | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:46:09 AM | | fab mom you are misinformed if you think you sound intellectually inclined. i have a problem of not proofread my statement which combined with my epilepsy cause my ability to be misunderstood or dismissed. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:52:25 AM |
Wow. Single ladies everywhere are crying in their pillows realizing that you won't date them. I count at least 6 grammatical errors and that is just glancing through it. What a catch you must be!
Owned! | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:28:35 AM | I see nothing has changed ….. it’s a new day and we have a few new pages ….
Personally having kids is not a red flag. It is the most wonderful thing in the world.
Your right, having your “own” kids is one of the most wonderful things in the world, raising someone else’s, not so much.
How can you say it may suggest irresponsibility or naiveté.
And what exactly would you call having kids at 19-20 yrs old with no real education and or job skills to support yourself and your child/children.
We are all grown adults, well at least most of us.
Correct, which is why this particular post does not apply to you and your dating issues at 41 versus the dating issues of someone at 21 with kids.
Yours and my dating issues at 40 + with 11 & 12 yr old kids is a completely different world than that of a teen and or early 20 something with babies, toddlers, or very young kids.
Men really have to get over them selves. Try putting someone else first for a change.
And there it is !!! There’s that entitlement mentality on display once more, it’s all about her, and her kid, a man must be willing to put them first, forget about his hopes, wants and desires in life, it’s all about what “SHE” wants. (well at least we figured out what her dating issues are)
Not at all. My point was for her to keep looking, not that is was the guy's fault for not accepting her situation.
Perhaps that is what you meant but your words “he was not worth” still put the emphasis on him as not being worthy of her, Freudian slip perhaps ?
I would not want my son to take on someone else's kid at 20.
Great point, more people should consider the situation from that perspective.
Could we just end this war? Please.
Let's just chalk it up to preference and call it a f*cking day.
Don’t you wish we could, the sad part is though 24 hours or less after this thread has moved off of the front page another teen or early 20 something little girl will be posting yet another “oh poor me” why can’t I get a date now that I have kids thread.
And all of this will be repeated, the girls/women will rush in to bash the guys for not being willing to step up and commit themselves to raising some other guys kids, and the guys will either try and defend their choice to not date young girls with kids, or will rush to emasculate themselves by claiming they just love single mothers and would be thrilled to raise another man’s kids.
And then next week it will repeat again, And then next week it will repeat again, And then next week it will repeat again, And then next week it will repeat again, And then next week it will repeat again, ect……
Men who do not date single women do not date them ( and this is purely my opinion) bcuz they don't want to commit anyway. They are not looking for a long term relationship on any level. They are looking for 1 night stands, booty calls, and someone to hang out with.
And the epic stupidity almost melted my brain.
Actually I don’t think it’s stupidity here, read her profile, she only wants guys 35 and up to contact her, so she’s either figured out that guys in their 20’s are not interested in her and her kids, and most likely will not commit to a LTR, or she figures a man 35 & up is more stable and secure financially and will be more willing to commit to her and will provide her and her kids with a better lifestyle than a guy her own age, or both. Also note she has a Bachelors degree and her own business, so stupidity is not the word I would choose for her.
The good news, when your child is raised, and if you haven't found the love of your life, YOU TOO can reject men that are NOW single dads, raising their kids...
Truer words were never spoken, I met a number of women after my divorce who wanted nothing to do with a man still raising kids, after all they had raised theirs and were now looking for someone to enjoy life with, looking for someone to be spontaneous with, someone who could take off at a moment’s notice and run away for the weekend, someone who was in the “same” position in life they were so they could enjoy life together.
But ya know what ? it didn’t bother me, because I realized we were simply in different places in our lives, while I had run and played in my 20’s and early 30’s they were raising kids, now it’s their turn to run and play. And all I can say is, I hope you find what you’re looking for, good luck & have a nice life, you earned it.
What it all boils down to as usual is choices, compatibility & where someone is in their life , like a puzzle piece finding its place in the overall puzzle it must fit together with other pieces just as the other pieces must fit with the one.
It really is that simple.
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:32:04 AM | what you don't actual expect some one of my age group how dose not have kids to put there life on hold just because you have a kid. when you had a great shot at life and choice your path. you got remember the man dose not have to put your kid first because the kids not his. he got put his life first because it is his life.
EXACTLY.
And to your whole post, Just_2_b_me.
EXACTLY. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:35:54 AM | fab mom you are misinformed if you think you sound intellectually inclined. i have a problem of not proofread my statement which combined with my epilepsy cause my ability to be misunderstood or dismissed.
Did you have to google those big words? Knowing the difference between "their" and "there" has nothing to do with proof reading. And misspelling the SAME word twice says that you simply do not know how to spell it. Again, proofreading will not help you to suddenly remember how to spell. And way to play the epilepsy sympathy card.  | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:41:09 AM |
And way to play the epilepsy sympathy card.
Some forms of epilepsy can cause this poster's language problems.
Abstract
Although Benign Childhood Epilepsy with Centrotemporal Spikes (BECTS) has a good prognosis, a few studies have suggested the existence of language disorders relating to the interictal dysfunction of perisylvian language areas. In this study, we focused on language assessment in 16 children aged 6–15 currently affected by BECTS or in remission. An important proportion of children showed moderate or more severe language impairment. The most affected domains were expressive grammar and literacy skills. We found linguistic deficits during the course of epilepsy but also persistent deficits in children in remission, suggesting possible long-term effects. Our results support the hypothesis that BECTS may be associated with impairment to language and suggest the possibility of a direct link between epileptic activity and language development, and the existence of long-term consequences.
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:02:29 AM |
Did you read where that was talking about CHILDHOOD epilepsy? And I never said that it didn't affect it. Just said way to play that card.
long-term effects. Our results support the hypothesis that BECTS may be associated with impairment to language and suggest the possibility of a direct link between epileptic activity and language development, and the existence of long-term consequences. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:21:17 AM | {What it all boils down to as usual is choices, compatibility & where someone is in their life , like a puzzle piece finding its place in the overall puzzle it must fit together with other pieces just as the other pieces must fit with the one.
It really is that simple. }
Kudos to this justtobeme. It's also about preference as well as compatibility and where someone is in their life. There are just some men and women who do not want to be parents and should not be parents. That doesnt mean they are bad people. It's just their preference.
But, what I find hurtful and maybe these young girls do too, is the stigma that somehow attaches to the whole "single mom" stereotype and how we are somehow looked down upon. I am different in the aspect of I didnt have my child in high school. I was 25 and married. Ex wanted kids, said he wanted kids, but when it happened, he bailed. I raised her 8 years by myself. I never had trouble finding dates, but somehow, being 25-28, having a toddler to deal with, the guys never would commit. They were more content to just date and have fun but stopped short of making a committment. I will also say that there were guys who just wanted to date and there were guys who would only want sex (those are pretty easy to identify).
It all falls back on where someone is in their life. OP, you may say you have your life together, learned alot of lessons, you're more mature than other 20 year old... but the reality is you still have that child mentality. Seriously, MPO is if you "had your shit together" You wouldnt 1) be complaining about finding a man and 2) have pictures of yourself drunk, or trying to be cute (the quotes above your picture about the smile, you only get half a smile). Sorry, but I didnt find that a bit cute. But of course I am a girl and you arent trying to attract me.
Maybe it has very little to do with your child and more about the kind of men you are attracting. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:30:34 AM | OP,
I will also add that I went back and read your profile and you do sound like a very nice person and your son is adorable (however, as a mom myself, I might rethink posting your son's picture on the web. There are pervs in the online world who prey on single mom's. Just saying)
I will also add OP, to please dont fixate on finding a man. That appears desperate and believe it or not, disparity shows and desperate only appeals to men who look to take advantage of that. Concentrate on your child and family. be happy with you and your life. So what if you remain single. These should be the best times of your life. Men and women are settling down later and later these days. You may be single for awhile. But that's okay. Enjoy it. | |
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| Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:42:28 AM | "Ya well you should look in the mirror buddy. Your f**cking ugly. And with that additude you are going to grow old a very lonely man.
"
Who are YOU to call anybody ugly? & you pretty much prove my point about the bitter old women with their darling little angels having a constant fit toward men because, 1) We don't like YOUR btchy, self-serving attitude &, 2) We don't want to hafta deal with a double dose of that same attitude you are surely teaching that darling little angel of yours who is "#number one in your life".
I might be an ugly man, but beauty, which you do NOT have, "lady" is only skin deep. YOU are ugly, way down in your soul. YOU will die lonely & miserable; clearly you already are. Take off, Hoser! | |
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