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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:17:38 PM | I have a seven year olddrama queen,she comes back from her dads and nothing at my place is good enough, just this morning i picked out her clothes and asked her to get dressed and she didn't like waht i picked out so she started yelling and fighting and crying over it, i gave her something else and still fought about it, she didn't even like her sock????? she has beenacting like this for two months now every little thing is an issue and im not sure what to do, im losing my mind and i have already slowly but surely started to take away her precious item of her rom ex: tv, dvd, player, mp3 player, radio and ds,
any ideas on what else i can do??, also threatened to take away our summer trip, to leave herhome with grandma, but it doesn't seem to phase her one bit????
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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:28:26 PM | She is too young to able to control her emotions to the point you are trying to get her to. All you are doing is adding to the frustration. Please stop punishing her by taking all of her things away. I would start doing the opposite, rewarding any good behavior you see and ignoring the bad behavior.
It sounds like this has something to do with the transition from dad's house to yours. Are you recently divorced? Is this all new to her? Does she do anything like this at her dad's house? | |
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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:24:59 PM |
I have a seven year olddrama queen,she comes back from her dads and nothing at my place is good enough, just this morning i picked out her clothes and asked her to get dressed and she didn't like waht i picked out so she started yelling and fighting and crying over it, i gave her something else and still fought about it, she didn't even like her sock????? she has beenacting like this for two months now every little thing is an issue and im not sure what to do, im losing my mind and i have already slowly but surely started to take away her precious item of her rom ex: tv, dvd, player, mp3 player, radio and ds...
Give her choices of what she wears--'do you want the purple or the pink?'--this gives the responsibility to her--and whatever she chooses, remind yourself that it's just clothes...take notice of her ability to put interesting outfits together...
When she comes back from her father's, begin a tradition to take the edge off--ask her what would help her adjust to being back with Mommy--a bubble bath? a game? a DVD? Time for the two of you to do something light and non-stressful...maybe refridgerated cookie dough--make a plateful, sit without TV on, and discuss her weekend--what was the most fun? what didn't you like? Help her re-enter gently... | |
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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:28:14 AM | | i have ried rewarding her for her good behavior, I am so blessed to have such good children, and no this is not new to her we have a very well put together schedule and it has been the same schedule for three plus years, as you can see the thing \s i have taken away from her she had earned in the first place, her dad has re married and has an infant to take care of now. but that doesn't explain her new actions, and on the weekend i have her we spend mommy and daughter time together, and when she comes home from her fathers, me and both of mychildren usually sit down with a snack and watch a movie together, some down time just us three, and the outfits usually she does pick out on her own this particular morning she told me should could not find anythind to were and trust me she has more clothes and shoes than any other seven year old i know,i think i give her tooo many choices, she usual loves picking out her clothes and her brothers every morning | |
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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:51:02 AM | If you could see yourself reading a how-to book, I recommend the absolute best book on this topic I've come across:
"Have a New Kid by Friday
(How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days)
by Dr. Kevin Leman
Yes, I've used the techniques. Yes, I've suggested this book to friends who've changed the entire atmosphere in their homes .. IN DAYS. Yes, it will work for you. Yes, it works every single time. Every child. EVERY time. Yours included.
I'd wish you luck with your quest to become a better parent but you don't need luck, you need INFORMATION and you need it now. Your daughter is still at an age where this isn't going to be hard at all. You need advice that is tried and true. Proven. Entertaining to learn. Easy to employ. You need information NOW and you will be just thrilled with the outcome. It's a promise.
If you do pick this book up and follow it's sage advice. I and others would welcome hearing your personal testimonial to a sane approach that actually works. | |
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| Like nails on a chalkboard
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:49:04 PM | OP You have gotten alot of parenting advice! Some I agree with some I don't. I feel you are on the right track, kids need responsibility and are very capable of helping out.
What doens't seem to have been addressed is your frustration on her new favorite saying. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT". My kids picked up words, sayings, excuses, etc. over the years that drove me batty too! Would you let her continue saying it if what she was saying included profanity? No. That saying has become profanity to you, so don't allow her to say it. Use the same tools you have been using to put a stop to it. There were words or phrases that we DID NOT say in our home. And there were consequences of choosing to say them. It is debatable as to whether you should set the consequences or let her help set them. Explain that it is not ok to say IT'S NOT MY FAULT and when she does BLANK will happen, then be prepared to follow through every time, immediately. She is definately in a power stuggle with you and now is the time to really follow through! Good luck! | |
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