| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:03:14 AM | | Men look they always have and always will, sometimes they dont even realise they are doing it. If he was a cheater im sure he would hide his ogling ways. If he loves you he wont see looking at other women as an issue, just something he likes doing. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:38:04 AM | Given that its obvious perhaps hes just a sleezemongerer who likes you to feel bad given that no individual can live up to barbie doll syndrome or fancies a 3 some ..justify open relationship etc( to quoth an extreme)....whilst blaming eg you in this case through the deplorable means known as sleekit (oh ive dated that lot too - jut not worth it)
No its not nice I dont agree with it. A wander or strayer is is exactly that..and yet this ilk rarely like their own medicine - not that I am suggesting you indulge in it - what on account its notorious for back firing allowing those wanton of een to do what they want whilst spitting oot a justification and blaming you
I have said plenty on this one and if you feel he fits within this posts realms then my alarm bells would be ringing.
And IMO anyone belittling a loved one deliberately holds the lofty status of scumbag in my finest burnt sienna een(eyes) and is cast aside for someone who is true. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:52:22 AM | The phrase 'checks out' implies (at least to me) that if she meets his ideal, he's going to do more than look. That would be problematic. If you mean to say he's "appreciating" other women in the same sense he would appreciate a sports car or a motorcycle, that's different.
Women are taught to be subtle. Men are supposed to show interest - it's part of the approach. It's difficult to re-learn those habits. Imagine if you, as a woman, had to learn to habitually ogle. It would take some time for you to learn to do it without thinking about it - if you could bring yourself to do it at all. Your man is having to unlearn that. It will take some time. Making a big issue out of it will make him defensive, make you seem possessive - and the only real effect will be to hurt your relationship. Instead, make a very small issue out of it, and then leave it alone. If he cares to reeducate himself, he will. If he doesn't you'll have to accept him as he is or find someone else. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:04:09 AM | Do the exact same thing to him. The next hot guy you see make it very obvious how hot he is. I've done this a few times, it's my experience that the guy I was with felt uncomfortable and didn't like it. The added bonus is that the man you are eyeing is appreciative of the attention, unlike many women who feel uncomfortable with it.
It's funny how "men will just be men" when they're doing it, but we're labeled as disrespectful or sluts for the same behavior. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:15:57 AM | "What is normal and what is not?"
It is normal for a man or woman, married or not, to notice an attractive person. It is also normal for a spouse to feel a twinge if it's obvious..so tell HIM how you feel.
"How can I not let it bother me? "
This is YOUR emotion, you'll have to sort it out...but if you tell HIM how you feel, it may be a moot point. | |
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Phan59
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Joined: 5/26/2009
Msg: 31 | |
| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:32:44 AM | | Why not ask him why he is doing this and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Looking or glancing is normal. Gawking or ogling other women makes a fool of the married man doing it. I wonder if he has considered how the women he is looking at feel. I doubt they appreciate it. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:44:23 AM | I guess what set it off for me was when we recently went out to dinner. I was telling him a story and looking at him of course as you do in normal conversation and he was ignoring me while he was checking out a girl's but. I brought it to his attention and he said that he did not realize what he was doing and he apologized. (this is the first time that he did this...the ignoring part)
Then another day we went to the mall and he was checking out another girl that works at a store....... she saw him looking at her and she smiled, and i saw him smile back at her. But that was it. It still bothered me.
I do feel less bothered lately about the "staring" I guess I just have to ignore it. It's not so much that he looks it's how he does it. And I don't think he notices. But if he ignores me again and if it is due to looking at another woman then I will bring it up again. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:48:31 AM | | Corona: I don't know what you should do in your situation but if my girlfriend was ignoring me to ogle other guys and smile at them all the time like that, I'd make the loudest scene known to man and then walk away for good. Glancing's one thing, but that behavior sends a clear message about what the person thinks of you. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:04:23 AM |
I am happily married for almost a year now. The only issue that is bothering is that my husband makes it very obvious when he checks out other girls in front of me. What is normal and what is not? I know that we all look or take a glance at the opposite sex but I feel that he does way too much and too noticeable. He really stares. How can I not let it bother me?
OP -- I was wondering how long we'd have to wait before we saw a new "He's in a relationship with ME now so he should have to hand over his eyes for the duration" type posts.
Ugh.
Why is it that women have this preoccupation with thinking that just because a man is with you, in a relationship or married...that all of a sudden all eyes should be just on YOU? Why is it that men should somehow have to get voluntarily temporarily blinded once they get into a relationship?
Men have EYES. We LOOK. Yes, we even STARE. And guess what...if women didn't walk around in micro mini's, and stilettos, and their boobs pouring outta their tops chances are that would stop. Your issue ain't with the man, it's with your own kind. Start pointing fingers where they belong.
Blame your own kind.
Quit blaming men for having eyesight.
Really. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:13:48 AM |
Men have EYES. We LOOK. Yes, we even STARE. And guess what...if women didn't walk around in micro mini's, and stilettos, and their boobs pouring outta their tops chances are that would stop.
Oh, c'mon! A pretty girl could be wearing a potato sack and men would STILL have their eyes popping out of the sockets.  | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:16:10 AM |
Oh, c'mon! A pretty girl could be wearing a potato sack and men would STILL have their eyes popping out of the sockets.
I'd almost be inclined to believe you if I ever saw a surge in potato sack sales somewhere on the planet. Sadly, we all know that will just never happen, so... | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:22:01 AM | Staring is impolite. Most men (and most women for that matter) will notice someone attractive - it's human nature. I do think there are limits to what's reasonable, but it could be that you simply have different tolerance levels for this behavior. It's hard to say from the information available if he's unreasonable, or if you're more than usually sensitive to this.
The negative potential here is that he no longer finds you as attractive as he'd like, or that you may be insecure and easily put off by his behavior. Or perhaps neither is true - just something to consider.
Perhaps you can turn this situation around. Notice any attractive guys and nudge him when you see one. Eventually, he may change his behavior if he doesn't like you doing so, or, perhaps you should start pointing out attractive women to him and ask him to point out hot guys to you. Make it a game rather than a problem. My S.O. and I often point out the eye candy to each other - it's just for fun, really.
And I wish I could check out other girls, but my local library doesn't extend such lending privileges. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:48:12 AM | well well, some ladies here have really had a job done on them.
They really believe that a man staring at other women is just par for the course etc etc.
How brainwashed.
Everyone can glance.. but staring?
Come on, that IS disrespectful and belittling to the partner.
You're sending out a non verbal message of 'I'm finding these women SO much more attractive than you , right now'
Nice. Nice message to send a partner, is'nt it.
Has everyone forgot respect and manners?
Do guys think all women are there just for them to ogle at?
Its NOT an insecurity issue, its a respect issue.
I could look like Miss World, but it would still annoy me if a partner ogled others whilst with me.
Its disrespect,.. and I'm not insecure about how I look, on the contrary, Ive been known to draw a few glances in my time.. but I would dump someone who consistantly stared at other women whilst out with me.
if they cant respect me enough to keep the damn eyes and attention on me whilst out with me... they're not worth my time.
No insecuritgy in the matter at all.
Just want to be respected.
OP, Im afraid you;'re stuck with an ass of a husband.
Did he do this before yhou were married?
if so, why did you think it would stop?
He doesnt respect you dear.
You'll find out.
First its staring, then its flirting..etc etc..
You have more aggravation to come, no doubt.
By all means just tell him outright if he wants to remain 'happilly married' to you, to stop ogling others, if not,.. well, thats up to you,.. put up, or dont,.. your choice.
G. x | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:55:28 AM | | Goodewitch: I agree with you on this one for the most part. (I have to take your side since you're a fan of The League. Don't worry....I'm local. lol) | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 11:51:46 AM | | I think it is disrespectful! Maybe he is just not that into u! Normal is not being obvious about it. You should either say something to him or start doing it to men so he notices and see if he likes it. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 11:58:18 AM |
He's not dead he's only married.
 My thought exactly.
I am tired of women dressed like sluts.
Just what does a "slut" dress like???? I have a cousin whose happily married and has been for a long length of time and her husband loves for her to dress "less than conservative." She's NO slut. BUT, you'd probably think so. Augh I hate stereotypers. If you don't "approve" of how someone dresses, DON'T LOOK ~ pretty simple.
~OP~ I dunno know how you can all of a sudden notice this, unless I missed that explanation somewhere in here. If he's looking now? He was most likely looking before. How do you cope with it? You make up your mind that you know where he sleeps at night and let it go OR you tell him it bothers you, be prepared for the fall-out and let the chips fall. I guess I'm wondering WHY this bothers you so much ~ he's most likely the very same man you met, fell in love with and was most likely an oogler even then. Are you worried he's becoming to "comfortable" with you and no longer appreciating your beauty? If so, that's a WHOLE different thing and you probably should clear that up. Good luck to ya. JMO  | |
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.amy
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Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 45 | |
| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:19:11 PM |
I am happily married for almost a year now. The only issue that is bothering is that my husband makes it very obvious when he checks out other girls in front of me. What is normal and what is not? I know that we all look or take a glance at the opposite sex but I feel that he does way too much and too noticeable. He really stares. How can I not let it bother me?
whenever my ex ogled girls, I ogled 'em right along with him ;)
then we'd speculate who'd do what to her once we got her in bed  | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:39:29 PM | It should bother you in 2 regards:
1) that you've married a man who doesn't have the knack for hiding his glances (because lord knows what else he can't hide). This is one of those man-skills all men learn.
2) it could be a very distinct sign that he has a roving heart.
Now, to be fair- it also could just mean that he's very comfortable with you as a partner/friend/wife. But *really* looking as you suggest...seems rather obvious he's got some discontent. I'd talk to him about it calmly. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:49:48 PM | Normal to look. Very normal
Not normal to "make it obvious he is looking". (as post states)
Is he trying to make you feel bad or jealous?
You can control if it bothers you, but need to know why it does.
I think it does because he makes sure you see him do it, if I am reading your post right.
I have never been married to someone who made it a point to let me know he was checking another woman out.
I have dated the type and just looked at a another guy the same way. That usually got the point across.
I find it childish and rude if he is making a big deal about it.
I think talking is the best thing and if he continues to be so blantant about it, some couples therapy.
Or next time say gosh she is sooo hot!!! I want to meet her. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:01:31 PM | It seems disrespectful if he did not show this behavior prior to getting married and is blatantly starring now that he is married.
If he had this behaviour prior to marriage and then some blame is on you for not addressing this prior to getting married...but staring to the point of drooling isn't respectful in general. I mean it's not something I would do in the company of business clients so why would I do it in front of a female? | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:03:06 PM | You don't have a pic on your profile Corona so it is difficult to say whether your hubby has a good reason to look at these other women.
You could be a complete moose and he regret's being married to you and might be the reason is checking out these other women, yearning for the ones he doesn't have.
Then again you could be rather attractive but yet he simply cannot stop appreciating all women within his line of vision.
Until you or him file for divorce , just live with his staring. | |
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| When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:04:00 PM | The best thing I can suggest in regards to men "looking"...
Johnny Carson asked Ray Charles about his love life, and Ray suggested that because he was blind, he was at an advantage since he had to "look" at the women he met with his hands.
Ladies...you have a better chance of dinosaurs returning than of a man not looking...at least he is open about it
I'm just saying | |
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