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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:27:16 AM | | I believe chemistry can happen right away. I also believe that chemistry can grow with time. I've experienced it both ways. Instant attraction with no substance and lots of substance with a growing attraction. The latter is much better if looking for a long term relationship. The former is great but won't last long. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:38:34 PM | For me chemistry happens over time. What is important for me is time trust and emotional intimacy. Then I start to feel the chemistry. I think instant chemistry can happens but I mistrust it. I believe instant chemistry is a combination of infatuation and lust and it does not make for the ingredients of a long term committed relationship. Also I am not a sizzler. I am much better at a slow burn. I have passion for a lot of things, activities and people but it takes a long time for things to ignite. Kind of like a long fuse on dynamite.  | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:00:56 PM | parrot said: Ms Kitty while this old parrothead is the last to put down wisdom of age be real careful all you fishies that your wisdom is not simply an accumulation of experience that you generalize to new ones. In other words like old ben franklin said doubt a little of your own infalability. let your wisdom serve as a guide to action not a dictator of it.
I hear you I just try and keep a lid on it.. In fact I might have to leash it this evening my imagination is running wild here.. 
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:23:53 PM | | Can go either way. I believe some people shut out others too quickly and later start having that feeling of chemistry but the other has done moved on, too late now. Then you have those that have it fast and fade as fast as it started. Does circumstances play a huge role in this timing, you bet! Although, I would like to think as we all get older we do tend to give things more of an opportunity to grow. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:41:33 PM | I've never had home-grown-chemistry. It's either there or it isn't and it's not going to be. I no longer wait for it to appear. That seems to leave room for hurt feelings when expectations build for one person or the other and the reciprocation never comes. I no longer let things get to that point. Everyone is different, however. JMO  | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:23:57 PM | | It can be immediate or develop as you get to know someone. With me, Mr. Instant Chemistry was a player and when it developed over time the man won me over with his incredible personality. Older and wiser, ya know! | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:27:08 PM | got rejected no chemistry in the email : cute note and the attached wine glasses
I guess guys don't like "cute"............. He thanked me and said sorry no chemistry.   | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:35:56 AM | | Apparently chemisty can happen through emails ? Geezze I thought ya had ta meet somone in person LOL Does it take more than one meeting to see if there is chemistry ? | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:53:18 AM |
I've found that the older I've gotten the less looks play a part in how I feel about a man. In the LDR I am in now, we have yet to meet in person but I truly love WHO this man is. I love his spirit, his intellect, sense of humor, his very essence. Not meeting for a while has given us time to really get to know and like one another as people and friends. We aren't in love with each other's looks. We are in love with each other... period.
Forumfilly, if that works for you, then that is great. For myself, I am not willing to invest so much in a relationship without meeting a person. It is possible that the love and attraction will not translate into a face-to-face relationship. The chemistry of a relationship is based on a lot of things, including physical appearance. I am sure this is true for many people, both male and female. But I suppose for some people out there, it is irrelevant. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:00:56 PM | ron9..............
I agree with you, the chemistry between two people takes time. It is all about learning . We can often think that attraction is the chemistry we need to get involved, but alas it is not. So it is better to wait a while to get to know each other to see if there is any real chemistry. Who wants to keep making mistakes? | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:09:38 PM | I think chemistry is something that is either there or it isn't.
Chemistry to me is something you build a relationship on...
not something you look for to appear at a later date.
I think other things may appear at a later date...mutual
admiration, awe, inspiration, desire...just a few off the
top of my head. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:13:40 PM | | Yeah, I'm pretty sure chemistry pretty much happens immediately. We either please each other to the eye and rub each other the right way or we don't. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:57:15 PM | Instant chemistry has only happened to me one time since I turned 45.
It was awesome, unbelievable, amazing ... and it was over as quickly as it ignited  | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:03:15 PM | | I'm a firm believer in instant chemistry. It happens to me all the time. Only problem is, it's always one-sided. I thought equations were supposed to balance! | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:04:14 PM | | I once had the most wonderful chemistry with an associate I worked with out of GA for a company I worked for. We spoke almost everyday and develop the most awesome friendship ever. I invited him up to watch some of the NCAA basketball tourney with me and did not even care what he looked like. We have been best buds ever since. Did not work out as a couple, but if I can get just half of that again, I would go for it!!!! | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:58:21 PM | | I believe it does, I think you know what makes you hot and what doesn't ...so an initial meeting and even a hug can tell you alot. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:35:12 PM | i don't believe in instant chemistry as something to decide whether to go forward.
speaking as a shy person: if someone i meet is into instant chemistry, we will likely miss out, as it takes me time to get to know a person and let the knots out. until that happens, seriously, they don't know me. and i won't feel like i know them either.
my favourite people are not into instant anything, so it's all good. people are really complicated, IMO, and though i might feel immediate interest, it's not the same thing. for me, chemistry is something that grows over time... and this has worked very well. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:34:18 PM | | I think chemistry is an immediate thing. The few times in my life I have decided to wait and see if someone would grow on me, they did -- like a fungus! I should have gone with my first reaction and ended it right then and there. I'm a great believer in chemistry. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:32:35 PM | I think it can, but I also think it can take time. Human relationships are a little more complicated than mixing baking soda with vinegar. I think maybe the problem is that the chemistry sometimes takes the form of a little spark, instead of the raging inferno that many people are looking for. When we look for the fall-over-backwards-in-your-chair kind of chemistry, well, you can overlook some pretty phenomenal possibilities that are somewhat more subtle.
Different strokes (or levels of flame) for different folks, like everything else.
JMO
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:11:59 PM | you can have a sexual attraction to someone which is not all of chemistry. i think that is where men and women wander in their definitions, given that we put out more bonding hormone in our bodies. to have a sexual attraction and a spiritual fit where you share joy and laughter and seem to sink into each other's psyches, w/o mistrust and becoming more than "two"--that takes a while to measure or experience. women, gotta make sure it's not the oxytocin talking to you! sometimes, chemistry sneaks around the corner and surprises you and sometimes it just limps away. typically there is a clicking of the intellect and the spirit that is on "top" of the physical attraction.
to be honest, i never achieved complete chemistry with someone else, and i would like to do so. i tend to bond too much and perhaps i settle, while in my realistic mode! yet, on the other hand, i've learned from my experiences. plus, i am a sensual being. often, in the past too early bonding has led to hurt but, instead of withdrawing, i continue to register for more lessons. i believe i am getting closer to the "truth" (for want of a better word).
so yes to the question, if chemistry is only defined by attraction. first the pheromones, then the oxytocin. no, if you are talking about something that is way more and much more encompassing: a meeting of the minds and a connection between two souls. again, that is what i ultimately seek and i may go out, still seeking. but, won't be able to say that i did not "try".  | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:40:04 AM | | Chemistry is important...but sometimes it takes time to build. The more I have gotten to know people the better I have liked them.....Sexual attraction .... lust.....that is the easy part.....but the chemistry is mind, body, heart and soul.....that is the hard part. I would rather have the hard part....and work for it. Trust, communication, spirituality this takes time to build....I have known people that do the instant attraction thing. And they fail miserably later on.....as we mature hopefully we look for the real important stuff.....yes the instant attraction thing happens...but without the rest of the qualities that are so important the relationship fizzles out because it has no substance. I would rather take my time to find the right one.....sex is easy and if you want it you can find it anywhere. But Chemistry is about balance.....and I want the chemistry. I want the whole thing......... | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:44:38 AM | blueyesrsmiling - Msg 50
I would rather have the hard part,.....and work for it.
Most men will agree with you on this point.
Sexual attraction .... lust.....that is the easy part
Not all men would agree on this one. | |
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| Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:22:28 AM | Always thought a person's mind was the most attractive thing about them. Always did have a vivid imagination. Have you ever met someone who you thought was the most handsome and sexiest thing in a pair of blue jeans but before long they began to look
ugly and lost their appeal simply by what came out of their mouth.? On the other hand, have you ever met someone who, at first, you thought was really unattractive but the more they spoke and shared, the more attracted you were to them? I always liked English better than Chemistry. Just something about those words and the melding of the minds. It takes a little longer to read a book than mix a formula but the plot can stay with you a lifetime. | |
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