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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:50:27 PM |
She didn't cancel any plans for me- she canceled her plans then asked if I wanted to see her: so I was the back-up for her original plans that particular day.
Um...... a backup? I don't ever take back burner- but that's just me. They want to be treated like numero uno, so do I. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:16:12 PM | Possibly, except that would mean that she's the one who slowed it down- remember, she's the one who kicked up it by letting me in her bed multiple times.
AH HA! :)
No, hopping in bed does not mean you're speeding up a RELATIONSHIP. Biggest myth. Now, yes, many women tie both of those together, but not all.
Kicking it up means meeting parents, family gatherings, friends' weddings, etc. Meshing lives and tying you into people that are close to them. Spending lazy Sundays together and the like with no plans set but knowing you probably will, happily... Stuff like that.
Because a woman is willing to have a fling, doesn't mean she's trying to marry you. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:37:33 PM | I had skimmed through the discussion here and my 2 cents are:
Due to the fact that she hasn't dated (before you) for a whole year leads me to conclude that she is a very cautious person. She is probably someone who is very guarded with her feelings and will not allow someone to get too close unless she is almost guaranteed that they won't hurt her. There are a lot of people out here like that I've found. It gets to be crazy how some people are so damn cautious that you cannot tell what they want or if they like you or not. I hate that.
On the other hand, for most men (in general) it seems whenever a woman finally lets down her guard and lets you know that she is INTO you men usually turn off and run away. I don't understand this phenomenon but it happens a lot. OP, don't be surprized if she lets you know finally that you've won her over and then all of a sudden you are no longer intrigued by her. That's how men are in general .... love chasing but don't want the catch once they've caught it. just my 2 cents anyway. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:43:53 PM | | Oh my.. she sounds exactly like me.. I kind of lack the whole emotional closeness thing and I don't give off the impression I'm into the guy until I am making out with them. Maybe she also doesn't know how to deal with the whole emotions thing. See it;s easier for some people to sleep with someone than to cuddle and hold their hand. BEcause that involves trust and getting close to someone you should just really sit her down and ask her straight out what is going on because it';s no fun being kept in the dark. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:22:53 PM | I'm in exactly the same boat as you...for the last few months. I still haven't fully figured out what is going on yet because I am getting mixed messages but I have decided to not to invest too much emotionally and to just have casual fun with it. I believe she is interested in me but not at the same level that I am in her. Or, she just has too much going on in her life right now that she put up a wall and needs space.
When we are physically together it is great....but otherwise it is so hard to communicate over the phone/txt/email...especially since we are both so busy and not in the same town.
If you have 10+ min to spare, here is my post:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12606375.aspx | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:31:25 PM | OP here-
Actually Confident-Realist you're reading waaaay too much into anything I said, and I say that being someone who is quite adept at inferring a great number which aren't obvious.
I've been hanging with her and her friends, and at no point did I ever state that I had any interest in marrying her, or anyone. In fact, marriage, outside of a tax break, is not my bag.
I was never confused that sex may/not mean much, I'm not as self diluted as you presume. You used a quote to another person as a springboard for your moot statement. Sorry guy.
I had skimmed through the discussion here and my 2 cents are:
Due to the fact that she hasn't dated (before you) for a whole year leads me to conclude that she is a very cautious person. She is probably someone who is very guarded with her feelings and will not allow someone to get too close unless she is almost guaranteed that they won't hurt her. There are a lot of people out here like that I've found. It gets to be crazy how some people are so damn cautious that you cannot tell what they want or if they like you or not. I hate that.
On the other hand, for most men (in general) it seems whenever a woman finally lets down her guard and lets you know that she is INTO you men usually turn off and run away. I don't understand this phenomenon but it happens a lot. OP, don't be surprized if she lets you know finally that you've won her over and then all of a sudden you are no longer intrigued by her. That's how men are in general .... love chasing but don't want the catch once they've caught it. just my 2 cents anyway.
I've been willing to think the same- being very cautious and obviously guarded. Some of our more...interesting discussions (anything which deals with dating/relationships/etc) happen in places she is the most comfortable- her place, or usually between sessions in bed.
As for the chase and being male specific- not so: women obviously play this game too. I abhor game playing, and it was part of the impetus for my original post that I didn't want to believe someone I was dating was in fact playing a game, or not being honest with me and just using me for a fling in the hay.
There is still some talk of the future-plans, and she was wanting me to stay the night this weekend, but after 5 hours of fooling around decided she needed sleep (we couldn't stop touching each other, so I can't blame her), so I left. I now think she may actually be interested in me, and clearly has a hard time showing it. She has comfort zones I've learned to recognize (as mentioned above) as well. I get along with her friends fine. Otherwise she keeps such an incredibly busy schedule that we try to see each other when we can, but am always assured of seeing her on the weekends.
I guess in closing I should say I'm still just letting things happen as they happen (my previous resolution), and I'm pretty content accordingly.
I appreciate all the responses, thanks guys. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:02:01 PM | OP-
I wasn't referring to ACTUAL marriage. My point was, because she was willing to hop in the sack doesn't mean she was "speeding things up". I mean, on some level, sure... but just because she's a girl doesn't mean she's trying to get close to you in terms of dating/relationship... especially if she hasn't dated for a while and has "a wall" up.
Hence, don't read into her willing to get physical as a sign of kicking "us" into high gear. Many people getting their feet wet (no pun intended) in the dating scene are willing to be physical quicker or in general hard to read. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:00:38 PM | Sounds like a little bit of a game. You just need to play.
Dont talk to her about where its going or anything like that. Just act like it doesnt bother you in the least, like you got a million other things going on in your life besides just her.
You did good by not giving in to her when she wanted to hang out after cancelling. Really, I would try as hard as i could not to over contact her. make her contact you. If she likes you she will. She will overanalyze the same crap you are now. why you arent contacting her.
People will flame and say dont play these games but sometimes you just have to.
Her having a guard up and whatnot could be a viable excuse, but who's to say this isnt how she dated in the past? Id just play along, show interest on the date, but act like your life is busy enough without her. Give her a challenge. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:24:52 PM | | I don't really see anything in what you described as something to really worry about. It's only been three weeks. And she may be more traditional than you and are used to more traditional guys - guys who make the first moves and do the wooing and chasing in the beginning. Why do you expect her to chase you? There are plenty of men around that are willing to do the wooing. You may not like it, but you are always competing against the other men she has experienced. Guys who may have done all the calling, asking out, whisking her off her feet, etc. I'm not a big phone person myself. Doesn't really mean anything. Try romancing her a bit more, and maybe she'll warm up to you. Maybe she is waiting for the woo. (by the way, that's not playing a game. It's simply not having interest piqued enough to fall for you...and hoping that things will improve as dating goes along. And sometimes guys do get better as time goes on and they feel more secure in what is going on). | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:36:05 PM |
There are plenty of men around that are willing to do the wooing. You may not like it, but you are always competing against the other men she has experienced. Guys who may have done all the calling, asking out, whisking her off her feet, etc.
Which is exactly why you need to not show her the same ole song and dance she is used to. Especially if there is other men in the picture. You need to separate yourself as desirable, someone in demand.
You can woo her when you get her. Right now you aint got her. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:04:57 PM |
Why do you expect her to chase you?
Because I've never dated someone where it wasn't the case, and I'm not suggesting I don't show interest in the people I've dated, but I've never been in a situation where it wasn't blindingly obvious. And I mean like looking into the Sun obvious.
That being said- it's been a month now, we have dates, fool around, etc. She has a problem talking, not communicating, but talking still: if she's not in her comfort zone she clams up. I know the advice incoming will be something to the effect that I need to make her comfortable around me, but I'm thinking maybe, just maybe, she has forgotten how to interact with people she may (just maybe maybe) have an interest in.
If we're out at a bar of hers, shes open. At her place- mostly open. In bed- wide open (no pun intended). I can bring up a myriad of topics, discuss her life, what's going on in her world, etc. She doesn't take queues or ask questions. Never has.
So sure, it could be she doesn't have enough interest yet, I could agree with that, but if she doesn't open up how does she think interest develops? I've always found communication to be very seductive.
So she could be using me for sex, or just someone to practice date. I really don't think about this as much as one might think- I keep rather busy. I just stumbled in here and saw so many posts since my last one.
I'm still resigned to just riding it out and seeing where things go. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:39:22 PM | | Sounds like she revealed herself to someone (talked) and ended up getting hurt. She's being very careful not to do that now. Also, people respond differently when you talk to them about things that matter: some listen and are understanding, some listen for a few seconds then start a monologue about themselves, some start telling you what to do, some are creative and interactive, and some are judgmental. What do you do and would it encourage someone who is unsure about herself to be revealing? | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:17:12 PM | There's two ways you can approach this scenario.
1: Run. Unless there is some quality in here that you are intensely attracted to and can truly foresee a lasting, seriously relationship with her, then she is not worth your time, effort and headaches. She is not showing enough interest in you for an outsider observer to say that you still have a chance, and if she does suddenly decide to start communicating more, you will be permanently in the friend-zone. Girls that are honestly attracted to guys do not act in this manner.
2: Reverse roles. You are doing all the chasing and you need to stop. You are a man; a hunter, but not all prey can be caught by simply chasing it down until it gets tired and gives up. Some need to be lured in and trapped.
Stop communicating with her entirely. Delete and even forget her number if you can. Try to find an activity in your life, or set a personal goal that you've always wanted to accomplish and begin working on it right away. A few weeks, possibly a month may go by before you either get a call from her wondering where you've been, or she won't call you at all and you'll have your answer to the question of whether or not she lost interest or found someone else. Either way, you're better off.
In the event she does call, keep the conversation short. Be firm and in control. Tell her you have to go somewhere, maybe mention what you've been up to but don't be too descriptive. End the conversation and don't call her back. Do not send texts. If she somehow has become attracted to your sudden change of behavior and new mystique, she'll call back eventually. When she does, you can be a little more open, but don't mention everything right then; the goal of this conversation should be setting up a casual meeting to catch up, not an actual date. Ask her if she wants to get together for coffee, or something similar - no dinner. Give a date and time. If she's busy and offers an alternative date, oops, you're busy on that date and several days after. End the conversation shortly after. If she's still interested, she'll call back later and you can repeat the process until she agrees to meet on your terms. Once you have that, it's pretty much a done deal that you've rekindled her interest and now YOU'RE in control.
Girls like this are not easy and are a process. However if you are assertive, patient and in control at all times, it can be done. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:43:14 PM | I would say there's nothing wrong with keeping your environment in places she's comfortable with. That way, she'll be comfortable with YOU, and associate you, by yourself, being a comfort zone no matter where you go in the upcoming future.
However, I doubt that's the only issue here... there's more to it than that, otherwise, all these worries wouldn't come up. As a guy, you only do so much chasing. If she hasn't dated in a while, it can easily be a belated rebound-effect, so if she has the markers of someone who is emotionally on the rebound (from dating in general; not requiring a specific ex who just left), then that may be what it is.
Just don't invest too much emotionally into it. Don't be the "See? I'll do anything to make you happy! Here's a broom! I'm trying to sweep you off your feet..." kind of guy. That will only rock the comfort-zone boat. Don't be the opposite either. Just show that you're available, but not too available. You're a catch -- not a fish jumping in the boat begging to be caught (women don't like that, regardless of what one's grandmother would say).
When people are emotionally jostled (new to dating scene many times does that), they're like kids. They're clueless.
Allow the comfort zone to be there, but don't stretch yourself thin by any means at this point. The more you do, the more you're going to want to fight for it, and the more it can plausibly back her away. If she understands she does have to at least extend a hand, give a call or email herself, etc., then you're on the right track -- and she'll respect you more. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:50:33 PM |
What do you do and would it encourage someone who is unsure about herself to be revealing?
I usually start off with small talk, asking how her day went, etc. If we're in one of her 'comfort' zones then she's chatty chatty. If she's focused on some chore then she'll naturally wind down. I've broached her family, job, cats, etc. I'll discuss something about myself, ask a reciprocal question. The problem is she doesn't give much in the way of lead, or cue for conversation, or joking around. I've discussed some of her favorite things with her, and again depending on where she is when the convo takes place, she's either chatty or dried up.
It sounds, Mysteriosa, as if perhaps she simply doesn't know how to open up to people. Or she just isn't interested. I love conversation from both ends- listening and talking, and as stated previously I'm just not at all used to folks who are that quiet/shy/or uninterested.
Still, she sees me. Who knows.
Ran Man: The world isn't black and white, and most of your cliched and youthful suggestions have been offered in one form or another. Thank you. I don't play games, and I don't expect the people I see to play them. If she wants to indulge in it then she'll find me unwilling to play along, and yes I will move on. Your 'advice' is something right out of the 'Golden Book for Big Boys: Women'. It's trite. Please consider garnering some experience prior to passing on the 'broski' protips on dating and game playing.
To recap- I'm not making any extra efforts as previously mentioned well over a week or 2 ago, I'm just letting her get comfortable. Most of our dates thus far revolve around drinks/food/bars/movies, and a lot of that is simply due to her schedule. Our next one will be something more fun and activity oriented (not that hitting the bars and seeing her friends isn't fun). We'll see how that works out. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:20:33 PM | Severin78: I actually haven't read that book, or any other dating advice books of similar nature. My advice comes from personal experience as well as having observed friends in similar situations. I had a friend chase a girl who was acting in almost the exact same fashion that your girl is behaving and it ended terribly, with him blowing almost a year of his life chasing a dream she kept just out of his reach. She finally showed him enough mercy to cut him off and told him to stop calling her as she had a boyfriend and didn't want to cause any problems by having male friends. It's a good thing too, because he probably would have kept on after her, but he was a wreck for a good time getting over it.
Whatever you end up doing, I hope it works out. I certainly wasn't trying to imply that all girls/women are to be treated in that fashion, and I'm sorry that I came off as brash or insensitive. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:02:25 PM | | Don't think you are doing anything wrong, quite the contrary. She's still seeing you, sleeping with you and making time for you at weekends. Maybe she thinks she's demonstrating how she feels to you? Some people are just not good at expressing things verbally until they feel they are on sure ground. I wouldn't play games: if she's aware of gameplayer tactics she'll spot it straight away and that will be it. But I wouldn't crowd her either. In fact, you sound like you're pitching it just fine as it is. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:38:31 PM | Could be that she's just not quick to warm up to people, even if she's slept with them. Sounds ok - you don't have to worry about her calling too much, and she's not complaining that you don't call enough so that's a plus. Beyond that it sounds like she takes her time getting to know someone and just doesn't do a lot of cheerleading and doting. If you're used to women doing stuff like that, you tend to assume they are supposed to.
I am this way. I don't chase, I don't call, and I don't make grand gestures. Generally if I am asking you to spend time, or agreeing to it and I show up I am interested. I will tell you I am, and expect that if I do that you take me at my word.
If you can't devote the time to figure out if you like 1 person and move on to another, then what good is it to split your attention/emotion/time between 2?
P.S.: This is like saying to have one friend you can't pay attention to other friends, when the truth is that while you are with someone they can get your undivided attention. The only time you cannot concentrate on two people at once is when they are both in the same room.
However, once you know you really like someone and want to learn more (usually after some time), then I agree that it's not good to date two or three for months. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:03:13 PM | Interesting. So Womaninprogress: You seem to understand where I'm coming from, and especially about my usual track record with how people I see respond, but what do you make of the communication thing- just as you say: not quick to warm up? I've been thinking that our usual date venue is hindering some of that warming up process, we haven't done much activity based dating, which is odd for me as normally I'm a do-er.
Also, sometimes she'll say things then renege on them quietly.
Example- one night we're at the bar and she's telling me she wants me to spend the night (actually stay for once/breakfast, you know). We eventually get back to her place, what happens happens, we can't stop touching each other, it's pushing 6orsoAM Sunday morning, so it was suggested I leave (and even then we couldn't stop). I can understand to some degree- she can't very well be waking up at 5pm then go right back to sleep for work the next day (she's rather religious about work), but at the same time little things like that throw me a bit. This sort of saying something, then backing out on it gave me strong deja vu from earlier times: I've done that sort of thing. Had women over, wined, slept with, then asked them to leave (of course, I could stop, easily, touching them). I was a different person then. It makes me wonder if she's experiencing that at my expense.
Finally, Womaninprogress- It's my personal 'deal', I just won't see multiple people at once. I feel it's a game (it is, irregardless of how it's spun, you're playing one party against the other to see who comes out on top), I feel ashamed that I did those sorts of things when I was younger, and I'd rather take the time to get to know 1 person fully before deciding yes/no. I'm still a proponent of the "Last Date" ideal.
Mysteriosa- any ideas in regards to communication? What's your take on the example cited above? Womaninprogress stated what I've been feeling/seeing. I guess I'm looking for some idea to open her up a bit more, though 'doing' something (what with our schedules, mostly hers though) it can be tricky. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:07:29 PM |
Interesting. So Womaninprogress: You seem to understand where I'm coming from, and especially about my usual track record with how people I see respond, but what do you make of the communication thing- just as you say: not quick to warm up? I've been thinking that our usual date venue is hindering some of that warming up process, we haven't done much activity based dating, which is odd for me as normally I'm a do-er.
Is this because she's not an activity dater? Or because she doesn't see it as dating? Or because your schedules haven't cleared enough to get into active dating? I guess that's the real bottom line. Not what you're not doing but why and what each of you thinks it means.
Also, sometimes she'll say things then renege on them quietly.
I guess I'd need an explanation on that one as well.
Example- one night we're at the bar and she's telling me she wants me to spend the night (actually stay for once/breakfast, you know). We eventually get back to her place, what happens happens, we can't stop touching each other, it's pushing 6orsoAM Sunday morning, so it was suggested I leave (and even then we couldn't stop). I can understand to some degree- she can't very well be waking up at 5pm then go right back to sleep for work the next day (she's rather religious about work), but at the same time little things like that throw me a bit. This sort of saying something, then backing out on it gave me strong deja vu from earlier times: I've done that sort of thing. Had women over, wined, slept with, then asked them to leave (of course, I could stop, easily, touching them). I was a different person then. It makes me wonder if she's experiencing that at my expense.
See, to me this means she wanted you to come back to her place - sex and any possible time spending being the main reason. I think you took "spend the night" literally, and honestly when you get right down to it it was morning when you left. I tend to want my space after sex too - it's like ok I did that, now I want sleep and what's happening tomorrow...I can't sleep with someone in my bed, and I can't sleep well somewhere I'm not used to.
Finally, Womaninprogress- It's my personal 'deal', I just won't see multiple people at once.
Ok, so long as you know it's not YOUR deal.
I feel it's a game (it is, irregardless of how it's spun, you're playing one party against the other to see who comes out on top), I feel ashamed that I did those sorts of things when I was younger, and I'd rather take the time to get to know 1 person fully before deciding yes/no. I'm still a proponent of the "Last Date" ideal.
You feel it's a game based on personal experience, and I suspect due to the fact that not being in control and having an ego that tends to prevent some men from wanting to know they aren't the only anything...however:
If you feel this way, that is solely your opinion of it. Again, initially there's no exclusivity, and when you don't know someone well at all, to cut off all options is sort of silly. If you mean after the first month or two, yes I agree with you. In the first couple meets/dates tho you're still trying to find out basic information, and it's not a game to a lot of other people. When someone works well for you no one else will compare, however intially you have to make sure you're not jumping at the first person who shows interest.
You'll be able to focus on the person that works best for you no matter who else you're dating, so I don't agree that others distract you (unless you're sleeping with everyone, which I don't condone).
Unless you're the type of person that goes to a store and just buys the first thing someone suggests to you. Most people seem to put more time and energy and research into buying a car than dating these days. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:20:57 PM | Well in regards to the stay-the-night example: she wasn't sure about sex (time of the month), or rather my opinion of sex during that time. She asked before finding out.
Anyway, I understand what you're saying, believe me, I tend to use online dating services to their fullest- I'm more than capable of conversing in email and sorting out a slew of...mess before I even met a person. If I were just going to use dating services online as a meat-catalog, like an extension of meeting people offline- without finding out anything about them, asking some questions, getting to know them a bit prior to meeting, then it would be different.
In my youth I first got onto matchmaking chat lines, back pre-internet, when they were 32 line BBSes and just a fun way to speak to people. Back in those days there were no photos of the users, people would meet weekly at some venue, and you had to rely more on personality (or a fake one, as the case may have been with some), and took care of whom it was you were interacting with prior to actually meeting them. Of course back then 'online' dating wasn't the same cross-section of society it is today. People were, to say the least, far more intelligent (you had to A) know what a modem was, B) know how to manually dial it, and that's for starters). I'm in my mid-30s now, that was some 21 years ago in my early teens.
I digress- in those days, after time when I met a few people off of them (mind you, not my first choice in those days, sure people were more intelligent, but well, there were some physical interests to accommodate) I tried dating multiples. It just never worked out for me. I felt overextended, exhausted, and like I really wasn't putting forth effort in people whom I probably could have developed something in.
I suppose that's it: I believe that something just need to develop. Be built. Sparks are nice, and they do happen, but frequently sparks can be a facade. When the sparks fade if nothing was built, it crumbles quickly. So I learned to sort through folks, some I would let go in a date or 3, and if I was seeing you a month or more, then it was obvious that I was interested and trying.
So, when I go to a store, to use your analogy, before I step foot in the store to make a purchase I've already researched it, thoroughly online. You are right- people do spend more time on researching a car, and in my opinion it shows how out of whack society may have gotten. I believe some balance is the key, but everything we're taught suggests otherwise. I tend to place more value on emotional and spiritual contentment than on material/transient things in life. I see people daily, though, confused, blaming other people for their lack of happiness. Life, as they see it, has cheated them. Perhaps it has- we're teaching people the wrong values, and so while people become important in society as it relates to work/taxes, they cheat themselves out of an identity, out of a life, out of any spiritual fulfillment- all for 'things'.
I'll get off my soapbox. Hopefully that wasn't too...word-salad-y. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:37:47 AM | | You've had some good advice and interesting comments. I don't have a lot to add really, just one or two things to think about. I'd guess she is just 'seeing how it goes' at the moment and is not sure about you, but does like you. She probably isn't used to showing her interest or doesn't know how. If she comes from a puritanical family then she may not be used to normal signs of affection, touching, cuddling and so on and sees those as a sexual advance, so you'd tend to go from one extreme to the other. Also, I think you could have a conversation about dating and ask her how she normally shows her interest in someone. That could be quite revealing. | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:10:30 AM | Severin - First off you have received some great advice here - especially from mysteriosa 
Granted I have only skimmed this, but you just entered this relationship, what you may interpret as "over the moon" may not be how she views things. From what you have described, clearly she likes you. She may be reserved and have a tough time sharing feelings, nothing wrong with that, alot of people are. You have to decide how that makes you feel - perhaps you are someone that wants to discuss everything, get it all out and then hash over it, once again, nothing wrong with that either.
I can identify with her, I am somewhat reserved, a big observer and listener...."Do I agree with what this person is saying? How do they interact with other people? How are they around my friends and their friends?"
Certainly sounds like you enjoy being with her...enjoy it!!! I think it is a little to early to decide exactly where the relationship is going | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:12:58 AM | Op
It sounds like you and I have dated the same woman..lol
She went from "you are the only guy I meet from this site that I like", and "I really like you", to spending almost every day of the first week together, to her suddenly ignoring my calls and text for several days and then saying 'she's confused and conflicted' and she wants to go slowly...
The chemistry was amazing between us and I saw definite potential there, but "life is too short to waste time on those who are unsure of what they want". Along with "mixed messages are a greenlight to move on to someone else".
Your mileage may vary | |
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| Is this a game, or interest?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:14:58 PM | All I can say is WoW! this thread is still going strong.
OP you are really hung up on this girl to just have known her such a short time!!!!
God! I wish I could garner that kind of total mental obsession from a guy! I think I will be more stand-offish from now on ...that seems to work --geeeesh! I thought this was something only women did --obsess over a guy's every word and action (inaction).  | |
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