| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:15:50 AM | cit47: I understand you, I am on the same level with you..When it comes to social ethics on dating/ as a hostess I was educated on that at an early aged... If I invited you to come to my house/ dinner,of course you are spruched up, with something in your hand a little can of peanuts,chocolate, (what ever you can afford ) flowers,or wine, but the most important is your good company.... It is the same with a man who invited you for date or dinner at his home...
If a man invited me for a dinner date , it is tacky for me to offer to pay,like I am insulting him ,that I am better than him,moneywise or my standard is higher than him or I have no social ethics, no gentleman would want that...I met a POF truck man from another state ,he invited me for breakfast (first meeting ) he asked where * he can have a good American breakfast for he is starving, so I took him to a place where I frequently eat and he enjoyed the food and my company,when the tab comes ,I pinched my thigh hard,to have a gumption to tell him " may I share the cost of our meal ? He looked at me and said "in this country the one who invited you is the one who is pays, so I am paying"...How dare he make me feel like a stupid Filipina who doesn't know any better. The reason I offered, POF men ,thinks that women are Golddiggers, if I am a Golddigger I would dig Gold not a stupid plate of food..
But if man said "Hey Vannili how would it grab you to eat at highfaluting restaurant? Dutch treat ? of course my answer is SURE!! As long as it okay with my cash flow or if it is not I would say no thanks I am on a diet.. or I would say I like hamburger..Or he'd say Hey , Vannili I'll buy all the ingredients of chicken adobo and pansit of course my answer to that "you don't need to buy any thing just bring your hungry stomach, "  I am trying to score on his attention and affection too,,for him to land in my net. My personal point of view. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:26:44 AM | | Many men always complain about women who look for free lunches, and they always ask this kind of questions about how to let women pay. Everyone has a brain that should be used to understand his woman. Money and dating aren't important to me so I don't care. I only identify if I like someone who likes me. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:34:11 AM | Well my God the dreaded new millenium speech I hate so much. I know the year thank you very much.
And yes if we're out somewhere, and I really want to go I have no problem helping with the bill. I just don't want another guy I end up supporting. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:09:17 AM |
why would i offer to pay for some ***hole that wants to keep his options open?
Maybe the guy is really a gazillionaire, so it could pay off big for you in the long run, when looked at from an investment (rather than an ***hole) standpoint?
From this perspective it certainly makes more sense for a woman to not only merely just offer to pay but to actually pay, since there are way more wealthy guys than there are wealthy gals out there.
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:33:23 AM | Msg:79 The rules of the game on dating is who invited who is the one who is paying ,it has nothing to do with the rich person should be the one to pay...
If I invited a man for a dinner date ( without the term of dutch treat) then obviously I am paying for both of us, he doesn't need to shed a penny. I don't give a shyt if he is rich and I am poor... I will pay for both of us, because I invited him ..
If a man invited me without the agreement of dutch treat and trick me to pay , he can't blame me if I spat the word of "" Buster buy your own dinner and pay your own dinner""..... | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:28:57 PM | First meeting/first date: I expect to pay my own way. Subsequent dates: I expect to pay my own way unless he offers to treat me, or I offer to treat him. If he insists on paying for everything, I don't fuss about it - I ask if I can leave the tip, and if not, I drop the subject. I can even things out by cooking him a nice dinner sometime.
If he tried to trick me into paying for both of us, or complained later that I didn't pay when I had offered to do so - then he shouldn't let the door hit him in the a-- on the way out. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:54:48 PM |
Msg:79 The rules of the game on dating is who invited who is the one who is paying ,it has nothing to do with the rich person should be the one to pay...
I haven't a clue where you're getting the idea from what I wrote that I was saying "the rich person should be the one to pay", when if anything I was arguing the exact opposite.
As far as your "the rules of the game on dating..." goes, it wasn't like Moses came down from the mountain with these inscribed on a tablet after having talked to God. Most guys realize said "rules" are just a not-very-clever gambit on the part of women to make men pay for them, since women still make/require men to do the inviting 99.9999% of the time for there to be any date in the first place. Women might as well just say the rule is "the man always pays", cause that's what it amounts to in practice, and guys aren't much fooled by the qualifying clause because they know a racket when they see one.
In other words, men fully realize this is women's rule for men, not "the" rule for everybody. Men obviously had no part in formulating said "rule". So it isn't a "rule", it's a condition women dictate to men: "Ha, he was dumb enough to ask me out. Now he has to pay on top of it. Gotchya!" No wonder lots of women couldn't scare up a decent date if their lives depended on it.
I was attempting to point out how such a condition doesn't necessarily always act in a woman's best interest over the longer term, that it may be wise for women to consider dispensing with such simpleminded "rules".
BTW - it seems you're not familiar with women's alternate self-serving fall-back "rule", namely that "whoever makes the most should be the one who pays"... when you combine that with women's unwillingness to have anything to do with men who don't make at least as much as they do, the result in practice is the exact same as the first "rule". | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:26:37 PM |
I'm not a cheap guy, I just care a hell of a lot about courtesy, and quite frankly, I think that showed a lack of it.
It's not a lack of courtesy, but it IS a lack of empathy for you and what you are doing.
I hope this post goes to about 38 pages, I love reading all those rants. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:01:58 PM | [Maybe the guy is really a gazillionaire, so it could pay off big for you in the long run, when looked at from an investment (rather than an ***hole) standpoint?
From this perspective it certainly makes more sense for a woman to not only merely just offer to pay but to actually pay, since there are way more wealthy guys than there are wealthy gals out there.]
well i'm not stupid, i'll know when i meet the right guy then i'll offer to pay, but chances are most guys do only want to get into girls' pants. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:20:46 PM | um....no reason to, less it s you b-day or celebrating like a promotion of yours or somethin to give you props !
if i want to treat a guy ( and i been seein him a while ) i'll invite him over 4 some home cooked food 
now : never offerin to do THAT is selfish , esp if the guy treats you well  | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:36:26 PM | If a guy can not afford a date then he should not initiate it, he has to wait for the woman to invite him on a dinner date and the woman will pay for both of them, so he can save his breath of complaining about money he is spending on her for a measly meal..
ColonelIngus: I'll be glad to buy you a nice dinner with no string attache... | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:39:52 PM |
When I consider him my guest. It could be on the first date or much later on. Two examples come to mind - someone travelling from a distance to my area. Another is when I invite him over and cook a meal for us, usually finer than can be had at any restaurant.
So what you're saying is you're an equal giver in a relationship? I don't think any man on here is buying that. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:44:32 PM | And what a joke that men being evaluated on their generosity is why they should pay.
Because obviously all men try to avoid dating generous women. What could be worse than a generous women?
<div class='quote'> A man told me this..."Being a well kept woman is costly they have to pay more for dry cleaning, nails, hair appointments, need a couple dozen pairs of shoes, waxing, stockings, makeup...hence men should pay for dinner."
Because women only dress for men right?
No woman ever dresses nicely for herself, for her job or to impress other women?
What about men's suits? If they are expensive than her dresses should she pay?
If you are that man ,here who is not buying the possibility of a give and take in relationship of both couple, nobody give a shyte.
So you replied for the sole purpose of telling me no one cares? | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:36:24 AM | Yeh, I hear ya OP...I think the girl should offer to pay for at least something in the first few dates... Even if it is just getting the tip. It is just right.
If we b**ched (spelling wrong on purpose) that we wanted to go to war and risk that we would die for our country, we want equal pay for an equal job... we want to be on the same level as men, but when we date... they should pay. Make up your mind ladies, all in or all out. Do you think we are due the things I mentioned above? Then, we can at least pay a flippen tip.
Come on.
At least offer to pay the tips ladies. Not that I am saying a man should not pay, I think he should. I also don't have any intentions of fighting in a war... The way I roll... However, I do think it a courtesy to at least offer the tip now and again or make him dinner and NOT tell him to give money towards the meal... (LMFAO, I know of a woman who ACTUALLY does this; she invites her guy for dinner, he says yes anddddddd....... he has to pay for the food and the gas and the electric and the heat and/or AC... God Forbid he pee pees's ! WATER! more on the tab! Yeh, like you get a flippen bill pretty much at the end of the night to sit with her sorry ass in a TRAILER... Forgetting the fact that she begged you to come! Saying, 'don't say maybe, that is no...SAY I PROMISE!') Deal with that mess.
LORD.
Makes your problem less trivial eh, OP? Though anyone in their rite mind would have told this old mess to flip off day one... SOOOOOOOOO.............
Now, let us get out of the trailer.
I say just be cool and honest with each other. Whatever you feel , regarding this dining thing, say it. Work from there.
Hey, it cannot be worse then the 50 yr old hag charging u for the light to eat the shit u buy in her flippen TRAILER! LMFAO....What a dumb ass that dude is. She is not even hot... She is old and looks it! TERRIBLE.
Count your blessings peeps... THAT could be YOU! GOD FORBID anyone should be that lonely.
Terrible.
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:12:56 AM | ^^^....That would be a good start for them. Of course we can always cover tip...
We women will buy you a nice dinner and you can forget offering the tip , Aww,you don't have to help on the measly tip, we can afford that too.. We'll even order extra meals for you to take home for the next day,>>>>>> with no string attach, no regrets,no complained, no whining on the money .. We call that charity not chivalry..
We women spent lots of money to look good for the man we date, so he can enjoyed feasting his eyes on us , on our lovely boobs and our lips that cost us
22 bucks lipstick , our hair,etc..while he eats, What does a man do ???? I hope he took a shower,deodorant, clean underwears, clean shirt and jeans so we can get even a tad of our money's worth..  | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:29:12 AM | I don't offer - I pay. As to when this is brought up, that is something that would be brought in a conversation long before an actual first meet - there's no point in meeting someone that is not only not on the same page but who's reading an entirely different book than I am:)
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:01:23 AM | Every single bloody time.
Women want equality, now they have it
Another person who is unclear on the concept of "equality".
Making someone pay "every single bloody time" isn't "equal" at all. Whether you're female OR male.
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Oh, I stand corrected--OFFER to pay every time. Equal. I'm good with that.
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:18:20 AM |
Making someone pay "every single bloody time" isn't "equal" at all. Whether you're female OR male. .....ermmmm...the guy said the woman should offer to pay every single time. He never said she should pay every single time. Big difference.
I pretty much take it as it comes. Once we have established there are going to be several dates, tends to be loosely based around 'taking turns' and whoever did the 'inviting' and/or chose the venue/event pays.
If the venue/date chosen is way out of the other person's means, then I think it is implied that the person who wants to go there/do that is doing the treating; and that is irrespective of gender.
As a single, temporarily stay at home/studying parent, I am in a place I'd never imagined and have limited means for dating. The men I have dated are around my age and tend to be - as I was, and will be again - fairly well established and in professional careers. So they like to go out for a nice meal or whatever.
I am more than happy to keep my dating life within my own financial means. I do not like not 'pulling my weight' in that regard *at all*. But I have accepted dates where it was made clear it was the man's treat. And when it comes to reciprocating, I do so, but it will be within my current means.
The exception is if I know that there is simply not going to be a next date. If that is the case then I will not accept an offer to pay for me, no matter how insistent; unless we're talking a very small sum (like $10) and he is very insistent. That is because I know I will not be reciprocating. | |
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