| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:01:25 AM |
I am more than happy to keep my dating life within my own financial means.
You use your brain to control your life. Many people use their lower bodies to control their lives. This is why they always worry about money and talk about money; money and money are in their dreams! | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:18:26 PM | | If she doesn't offer but expects more dates and my budget is hurting, I tell her that the next one is her treat. If that offends her, I move on to someone better suited to my tastes. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:14:39 PM | Vannili
We women spent lots of money to look good for the man we date, so he can enjoyed feasting his eyes on us , on our lovely boobs and our lips that cost us
22 bucks lipstick , our hair,etc..while he eats, What does a man do ???? I hope he took a shower,deodorant, clean underwears, clean shirt and jeans so we can get even a tad of our money's worth..
Women make effort to look good regardless if they are on a date or not. For a man to look good also comes with expenses.
To say that a man should pay to make you look good is a hilarious piss poor pathetic excuse. Seriously, how low can you get? You pay for your self to present your self. That is life. It’s not the man’s responsibility.
If a man started saying that women should pay because I have expenses of using my hair gel, cologne, and shaving blades etc he would get laughed at by everyone
No double standards!
CassaGo
Another person who is unclear on the concept of "equality".
Making someone pay "every single bloody time" isn't "equal" at all. Whether you're female OR male.
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Oh, I stand corrected--OFFER to pay every time. Equal. I'm good with that.
You may be mixed up about my concept. I mean the woman should pay her half every single bloody time. Yes, that is equality. If you don't call that equality, you have a warped sense on what "equality" really is. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:57:35 PM | A woman should pay everything for her own otherwise guys expect something in return.
But if she does so, guys would leave her thinking she doesn't want anything to do with them. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:32:13 PM |
A woman should pay everything for her own
Yes, but both women and men should be gracious about accepting the other person treating for special occasions or if one person can't afford a particular event on a particular day.
otherwise guys expect something in return.
That's paranoid.
But if she does so, guys would leave her thinking she doesn't want anything to do with them.
Only if they both have retarded communication abilities. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:54:08 PM | | I can't speak for other women but *I* should and do pay my share regardless of the mans protest each and every single time. Now when I get into an actual committed relationship with a man, as I am now, we start to take turns paying for dates. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:34:21 PM | This is why coffee is a good first date, no money wasted if there is not a promising future...
I offer to pay for my own right from the start...now if something looks promising and I couldn't help pay...I wouldn't set an evening to date...unless otherwise stated that one would pay now and perhaps a good home cooked meal to come at a later date.
Things need to balance, to work long term. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:23:27 PM | OOnicko, hold your horses !!! the topic here is who initiates the invitation/ date is the one who is paying, or discuss the split of the cost or dutch... I DID NOT SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR MY GROOMINGS OR WOMEN GROOMINGS TO DATE YOU,WHAT I SAID WE PUT SOME EFFORT TO SPRUCHED OUR SELF AND PLEASING TO OUR DATE... No one ever paid any body,s grooming That I heard of..
BLOODY HAWK !! that is no problem !!!you pay for your own meal /drinks and your date will pay for herself too. Well, still a lots of men are gentlemen that observed social ethics of upper crust, so you have to tell your date that SHE HAS TO PAY HER HALF for she doesn't read your mind.... and if she invited YOU to her house for a dinner offer to pay half the groceries and her effort on preparation of the food..
I don't think she will be hospitable to you ,because you are not hospitable to her..LOL | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:53:20 AM | Darling,
I have a rule I often apply: If we're friends, we go Dutch; if we're lovers, sometimes you pay, sometimes I pay: if you're my man, you pay. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:11:53 AM | Sweetheart,
I have a strict rule : If we're girlfriends/ male friend/potential lover and I invited you I pay +tips, but if you invited me you pay +tips. But,if either of us would want to go to a high faluting restaurant/ bar/or any events/ we'll discuss the cost I'll give you my share of expenses in advance,because I am not comfortable opening my wallet and paying for myself or for both of us infront of people it is very down grading to a man that he is nothing and he got nothing but his height and muscles ,unless I am his BOSS I will pay for his meal in front of eveybody... If a man is my LOVER/MY MAN I'll treat him like a KING to a restaurant ( buffet) paid in advance, (I am a woman who believes in GIVE AND TAKE.. ) Or I will cook for him a gourmet meals fit for a KING..........
My name is Vannili and my middle name is The Sensous woman.. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:45:59 AM | | I never follow any of those stupid rules, that a man has to pay for everything, for me since the guy is taking me out, then he should pay for the date, but as a women I can at least pay for gas. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:46:30 AM | Since the OP is in a group that be expected to built his career ...the woman he takes out are in the same boat ...be creative and dont just pick expensive dates if u cant effort them...this would create a false picture of u and ur finances...thats why guys get in trouble by trying to impress with money that isnt there... how should the woman know u have to watch ur finances if u act like the big spender? and may be the girl just thinks she is offending u if she offers...
My age group...yes I do expect that my date pays...and that is fact because He asks me out...nevertheless I always have enough on me to pay...at the point being in a relationship there should be communication about how this is handled...which is depending on so many different factors... its a very personal decision
Money only creates an issue if it isn't there but people act like there is no issue.. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:12:52 AM | Vannili
I DID NOT SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR MY GROOMINGS OR WOMEN GROOMINGS TO DATE YOU,WHAT I SAID WE PUT SOME EFFORT TO SPRUCHED OUR SELF AND PLEASING TO OUR DATE
I was not meaning that you were expecting the man to directly pay for your groomings. What I was meaning was that I thought you were trying to justify “grooming” with the man having to pay for the meal or what ever on a date. I think that’s a really bad excuse.
Meneater
if you're my man, you pay.
Why? What logical reason is behind this?
SoAwesomeGrl
for me since the guy is taking me out, then he should pay for the date
Alizee
yes I do expect that my date pays...and that is fact because He asks me out
To both of the above...Soawesomegirl and Alizee. I wonder how willing are you to do the asking out? If you have this lame excuse of “who ever does the asking out pays” and you are not willing your self to do the asking out, don’t you think this could be considered as “scamming”?
Also, some one has to do the asking out, if no one does this asking out, what will happen? Nothing
So the person who is doing the asking out is the one who is putting themselves at risk of rejection which means they are the one who is doing the favour. So why should the person who is doing the asking out face a double burden when they are the one doing the favour? Double burden meaning 1. Risking themselves to rejection 2. having to pay?
Why should the person have to pay for some thing that is essential in the dating game? When I mean “essential” I mean its some thing that has to be done or else nothing with happen. So a person doing some thing that can’t be avoided in the dating game has to pay a price?
Where is the logic? | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:52:51 AM | @o0onicko0o
rejection is something u consider a risk?...and u expect to be rewarded for taking the risk of rejection...hmm ok...well..if u start any relationship with that attitude then u will run into a lot of trouble...if u able to tell what ur expectations are...u get a honest response and I hope u can deal with that ....U saying -asking out is a favor-...means u want something in return...but that is not something u entitled to.....free will is the concept of relationship...and respecting if the person rejects ur invitation is essential ..... I am in a very different stage of my life then u ...so ...a dinner for me is not a big deal ...I sure dont have no need to scam or presure any man to go to dinner with me
the question of who pays never comes up in my world...but not because I expect it...its because it isnt an issue....if a man would like to meet for coffee because of lack of finances that also wouldnt bother me...have done that...and I dont consider going for a cup of coffee a date...there are plenty of things to do without spending a lot of money...if I want to invite.... I do so and Pay!...99.9% the guy doesn't allow me to...and if he does is not a criteria to decide to see him again...so again there is no need for me to scam anybody for a meal 
I always have money to pay for whatever I order or want to do...so I don't have to make it an issue...online dating is different from meeting in person and then decide if u want to go on a date... | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:08:51 AM |
Guys, but mainly girls, at what point in the dating cycle (IE: first date, second date, etc.) should a woman at least offer to pay?
No set timeline. I do it, and that's all that matters to me.
This is 2009, not 1946, and the last girl I dated offered one time - not paid, but just OFFERED - once, in maybe 13 or 14 dates. After a while, spending $50 every go of it just got, well, irritating, when there wasn't even a $5 footlong offer back.
If after a couple of dates she has not offered, and it is irritating to you stop dating her. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:57:20 AM | alizee, I am with you it is not really a big deal on FOOD,but the MAN we are meeting *rock our world * .... In a dating game it is like a buy and sell. I remember that some vendors invite ,my late husband and me to lunch or dinner to sell things from his company, that is a gambit " you have to lose some to gain a big kill"... that is a good salemanship...... I understand oonick would find pleasure and comfort on a meeting place like a normal person~ , nice atmosphere ,table laden with foods, eating while chatting.
On first date if a man invited me expect me to pay the tab or split it ,it will come to my mind that he don't like me ,he doesn't want to" invest in me"... Or he want a DOMINANT WOMAN.. there is nothing wrong with that if that is his cup of tea. And these women enjoyed that kind of a man, it gives them an elated power to........ Women are nurturing ,kind and generous when it comes giving to a man, I am talking about these women that are savvy, educated, they know the balance of finances, for they themself knows the responsibility of paying bills, and they UNDERSTAND the men that they pay bills too...  | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:59:26 PM | | I don’t care who pays, I like to pay the first time but I refuse to go Dutch in the beginning, it seems so petty and impersonal at a time when personalities should be allowed to bloom. My male friends and I don’t even go dutch! | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:17:57 PM | If you question someone who is free luncher and plays with you, you can stop dating her. If you really like someone, why do you care about who pays? Maybe you date so many but earn a little so you can't afford those dates. Otherwise, you can only date one who affords the dating payments.  | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:56:03 PM | It would be nice for a woman to offer right away....no one should be insulted by this or hold them in contempt of court!, it is 2009 and most have come to an understanding that its a level playing field in today's world. It puts a smile on my face when a date offers to pay, a sweet sentiment and no doubt very sincere. (Even after she has said she will make the apple pie next time....priceless).
If two people are getting along it's never an issue, if my date wants to split that's fine, I usually refuse because it's the polite thing to do. But I have never argued the fact, you know that it's all going to even itself out in the long run,most of us understand this fact.
And if it's only the one date thingy, you usually don't find that out until the next day, so it all comes down to respect, respect that fact that you are not going on a second date and suck it up buttercup. If it's costing you a fortune, there is obviously a profound character flaw in your judgement and you are not dating the right people. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:00:34 PM | Alizee
rejection is something u consider a risk?
Yes, and it’s obviously some thing that you don’t want to deal with as you expect the man to do the asking out. So rejection is obviously a burden for you also.
and u expect to be rewarded for taking the risk of rejection
No I don’t expect rewards for taking the risk. What I am meaning is that the person who does the favor as for risking themselves to rejection should not be penalised for it by having to pay.
hmm ok...well..if u start any relationship with that attitude then u will run into a lot of trouble
hmmm ok…well..if you start any relationship with the attitude of the man having to pay for you is not a healthy, reasonable, and fair way to approach it.
U saying -asking out is a favor-...means u want something in return
Did I mention anywhere that I want some thing in return? You are putting words in my mouth.
but that is not something u entitled to
You are also not entitled to enjoy dates at the expense of the man’s wallet.
I do so and Pay!...99.9% the guy doesn't allow me to
Have you got any stats for this? There have been many threads about “who pays” in the past and there have been many men who are against paying for the woman’s half.
Vannili
alizee, I am with you it is not really a big deal on FOOD,but the MAN we are meeting *rock our world
So it’s not a really big deal but yet, it’s “rocking your world” when he does pay for your meal?
How do you rock the man’s world in this date or meeting? Just simply existing as a woman and showing up to a date is equivalent?
On first date if a man invited me expect me to pay the tab or split it ,it will come to my mind that he don't like me ,he doesn't want to" invest in me
Again, the open question comes up, are you willing to do the asking out?
The man is doing the favor as he is putting the wheels in motion and he is risking his self to rejection. (some thing that you are not willing to do) He is doing some thing that you are not willing to do and yet he gets penalised for it? ROFL
When a man ask you out on a date or meeting and you are not interested in him, do you say "yes or no"? You obviously say no if you are not interested. But if you are interested, you are not doing him favors by showing up to the date. He is doing the favor by being the one having the guts to do the asking out.
Also what you were saying in that quote, why does he have to invest in you to make you feel wanted but you don’t have to invest in him to make him feel wanted? Why the double standard?
Women are nurturing ,kind and generous when it comes giving to a man
ROFL yeah it really shows when the woman expects the man to pay for everything on a date. THE IRONY! | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:11:05 PM | I met a man for coffee this week, I paid. I was at the counter, he was behind me, didn't even think about it. We went to dinner and a show tonight, I just handed over my half of the bill. I didn't "offer", I just gave it to him. He paid the tip and my way into the show. Ten bucks. And I feel guilty about that.
First few dates when you're not even sure you'll want to see this person again, I think each should pay their own way no matter who did the asking. How often do women ask men out anyways? | |
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