| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:27:50 PM | I would ask" When should the MAN offer to pay?"
Nowadays there are many guys are hiding there and waiting for women to pay everything. Ofcause they never would be the one having the guts to do the asking out.
They expect women take all the job. Even though they still complain women's asking/offer was insincere. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:30:43 PM |
A woman should pay everything for her own otherwise guys expect something in return.
This is my default. I'm not one to invite obligation on myself or cause confusion. I realize some guys don't feel a woman owes them for paying, but I'd rather not even bother trying to figure it out. Once I'm with a guy a while, I relax the scorecard a bit.
But if she does so, guys would leave her thinking she doesn't want anything to do with them.
Let em leave, then. It can't happen both ways. They either are ok with treating and insist not knowing whether she's there for him or the meal, or they deal with dutch and hope it doesn't mean she's not interested.
Personally I don't think most guys assume there's no interest unless there's attitude and body language that points to it. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:26:00 AM | everytime !! its plenty of fish not plenty of free food !!
why you expect anyone to buy you food and drink, especially someone you have never met or barely know................ on the other hand if the other person absolutely insists on paying, then you should graciously accept, offering to pay next time, but only if you are sure there will be a next time to reciprocate | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:11:18 AM |
so it's really a big deal but yet "it's rocking your world" when he does pay for your meal? blah blah blah>
oOonick, I don't think that you are pathetic at all,even your thought is pathetic. I understand,where you are in,your profile says you are unemployed so most every body ,the economy is slamming US hard.. What is your intention on your discription of your self that you are unemployed ?????? Perhaps some desperate dame will take you out for date,so you have a free meal ? Hardly,. Here is the clue what you thought of another person is what you are......... Don't understimate the mentality of women, that they have to dress up/makeup, spend on gas just to have a man buy them a plate of food? What they are really interested is "THE MAN" and please put that in your thick skull. Here in America, if a woman is really that hard up that she can't even feed herself ,she doesn't need to spruch up , she can go to eat in some charity places in her dirty sneakers,uncomb hair, rugged comfy clothes... She can even get a free monthly supply of groceries to feed herself..
I don't feel romantic for you like the rest of the women here ,but my HEART goes for you, I would be glad to take you to some casino buffet restaurant if you are in Reno Nevada, and it is ON ME. So you will learn, that people use their heart( kindness) and not their stomach (hunger) ... Even a lowly sewer rats have dignity than that... | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:58:50 PM | Now you are resorting in to shaming tactics by trying to say that just because I am unemployed, I disagree with paying for the woman's way.
Being unemployed may be a small income but I can still afford to eat out or even shout some one. If I am earning a 6 figure income, my mind would be the exact same. It's the sense of entitlement that I have the problem with, not the money.
What they are really interested is "THE MAN"
Well if that's the case, why do you still have a problem with a man who disagrees on giving you this faulty sense of entitlement? | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:24:36 AM | | I always offer to help. Ecept with one guy, because for some reason he would get really offended if I tried to pay for him. lol. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:20:12 AM | Oh my, these threads keep popping up and I can't avoid posting to them because they strike a chord with me.
"The one who asks, pays"...how often do women ask out?
"My man would never let me pay"...and you think that's okay? Sounds like a control monger to me. Must be nice to be patronized.
"A guy who doesn't want to pay my half is cheap"...well, you don't want to pay for your own half, so what does that say about you?
"Guys who talk about who pays are unattractive"....news flash, so is selfishness.
"A gentleman pays"....being a gentlemen has nothing to do with money.
"Where's the logic?"....there isn't any.
It's unlikely that you'll change anyone's opinion on this issue. Simple solution for me: I date women who share my POV. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:04:22 AM | | I plan to pay my own way right out of the gate. I wasn't always that way. Pretty much all of the relationships I had when I was younger, my boyfriend always paid the majority of the time. And yeah, it's nice getting free meals and drinks and going on trips without spending a dime. Who would argue that??? But now that I'm a little older, I want things to be even. I had a bad experience a few years ago when I was younger and dumber, where I really liked this older guy but I made this assinine comment to him about how I was going to date him for his money, because he had a pretty well-paying job. I wasn't serious, but he took it seriously, and as a result, would never take ME seriously. So I don't ever want a guy to feel like I'm just after a free ride and his wallet, I want him to know that if I'm spending time with him it's because I really like him and the time we spend together, nothing else. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:31:02 AM | I always offer but expect at least an offer from them. & with 90% of times I dont accept and pay. after a time if dating regular I think it should be 50/50 eg me one time her next.
have had several dates where we go for a drink and she has sat there and let me buy one after another. I almost never let it go past 5 drinks before making an excuse to end the night and never go for a second date.
if its coffee or a short drink fine but there are some out there who show from the start what the future may be like.
if they are on a cheap drink fine but when the top shelf starts being eyed its time to RUN.
as said before its 2009 and we all earn almost the same, and we are back in this dating lark because of one being not suitable for the other and so should seek the right one this time around. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:13:53 AM | I earn almost exactly the average wage here in Aus. My SO earns almost exactly 3 times that. Our first date, he paid for coffee then a couple of hours later I bought cold drinks. 2nd date was coffee at his place. 3rd date he cooked for me. We don't go out too often to eat as we both love to cook but if we do, even after 2 years together it tends to be a 50-50 split between us for who pays. maybe its because I have been a single mum 12 years now and with no CS I did things entirely alone, and by now I find it hard to accept someone paying my way? I budget very well and thoroughly enjoy treating my guy. He is more than enough of a man to just say 'thank you'. It does not emasculate him....
On edit- maybe its 55/45... we sometimes go out for brunch and I've only paid once. Just trying to be truthful here!! | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:22:23 AM | I have been on three dates now and the first one i went out with a Banker lady who made way more than me...we had drinks and apps and then went to a coffee desert bar, I spent over $60 for the night, she did not offer to pay anything. She knew i was just starting over and had a min.job ...
next date ( we were going to go to breakfast) ended up having time to meet her after work and went to TGIF , had app.(which i wanted and asked her if she ate first, she said yes) and two drinks each..i paid for all and she did not offer. She made way more than me.
Next date i met a girl for a drink and we had two...i paid. We went to another bar and had a few more..I paid...no offer from her.
Now i met another woman and on her profile it says meet for coffee is best so not spending alot on dinner ..go dutch it says.
So on her profile it says she loves breakfast, and we live in same town, so i say hey i love to eat breakfast too and she suggest a local place we both know. This is for next weekend.
So we have been conversing and she suggests we get together sooner than that, like this afternoon. She suggests going to a chain restuarant in town, which i know if we sit down and have a meal and drinks is going to be $40 at least...
Is it up to her to pay since she changed the plans..it will be interesting to see what she offers since she had that written in her profile and understands the costs associated in dating. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:41:55 AM | I think a woman should always offer to pay. I always do. I try to always pick up half unless I'm told otherwise. If its a long lasting relationship often we end up taking turns. You know, "my treat, you get it next time"
I can't imagine going on a date expecting everything free. | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:12:28 AM | | Update: went on breakfast date this morning..check came she paid half and i paid half...we are seeing each other again soon.!! | |
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| When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:04:46 PM | The woman should offer to pay when:
1. She asked the man out on a date.
2. Both have been dating each other for awhile. They should take turns paying for each other, since both are willing participants in going out.
And to the people who offer to pay just to be polite, but don't expect to follow through- you're ridiculous. Mean what you say. | |
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