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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:40:31 AM | IMO Esmene hit every point right on target, as she usually does. She understands the scenario that is being described.
Sorry FreeFriendlySpirit…I should have said friendly and approachable, not MORE friendly and approachable. But then again maybe they are…or give the appearance of being friendly and approachable, because they are on a mission. It would be like play-acting. Appear to be very friendly and approachable because you have an agenda.
OP had only one or two dates with these women. As Esmene stated, their approach is not direct. To be overt would defeat their purpose. It would quickly point out that they had no real interest in the man except for what he could do for them. The MO is to slowly work into the affections of the man or woman if that is the case, gain their affections and trust and then begin to work towards being invited to the US or as Esmene stated, any developed westernized country where they feel their chances for advancement and enrichment can be fulfilled. So NO it doesn’t have to be the US. Could be England, Australia, the US maybe even France or Germany.
People can defend these women who do this. That’s their right. But I have seen far too many cases where people have been horribly ripped off financially. Also where the lovely, friendly and submissive gal from the foreign country has been sponsored to the United States only to marry the sponsor and leave him at her early possible convenience. They MUST marry when they are sponsored to the US or their sponsorship is void and they are deported. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:47:37 AM | Ankkka wrote: "By the way...the worst part for Colombian Woman ...it is her husband's relations beside marriage...She is "La Propia"...and she must accept her husband's "La Segunda" and "La Otra"..."
This just points out to me why a Columbian woman would want to avoid marriage to a Columbian man and escape to another country where she perceives she will not have to endure this kind of treatment. It is compelling evidence for the contention that women in third world countries will act in ways that will garner them sponsorship to developed countries.
I do not contend for a moment that EVERY woman acts in this way. But the evidence is IN, that many do. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:15:40 AM | To OP and FriendlyFreeSpirit; Msg 49
I suspect the "novelty" was that OP is American AND has both the interest and ability to speak Spanish. He made that personal effort to make himself more welcome in Colombia. To see a more fact-based portrayal of the "socio-economic opportunities" in countries around the world I would suggest visiting the US Central Intelligence Agency's World Fact Book at the web site below.
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/ The Internet is enabling globalization of the "mate market" (pun intended). | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:09:28 AM | I stick to my statement. I have been in this country for several years now and now I know how things really are, I know not all Americans are rich,
Do you thing a young Colombian girl would be dating the OLD American because he is so handsome, nice, smart, fun to be with, great dancer??? LOL ,,,, I don’t think so.
If you want women (or men) attention, Colombia would be paradise, WE love Americans,
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:39:53 AM | I have had the opportunity to travel in Central America. I absolutely love Costa Rica. A wonderful country with very warm friendly people. When I was in Nicaragua before the Civil War We came across a area of the country that was filled with some of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. For a single guy in his 20's it was like something out of a dream. At the turn of the century there was a lot of immigration from China to Central America. Many Chinese that built the rail roads in The US also made their way south. They later intermarried with locals and produced these very attractive offspring. We did find these woman to be friendly warm and charming. Most seemed very happy living where they were. No one seemed to be looking for a Green card or a sugar daddy. We were fascinated with these exotic woman and they were fascinated with the Handsome traveling North American Surfers. I have met and dated woman from Asia, Australia, France, England, Latin America and of Course our home grown ladies here in the US. When i lived in California my theme song was The Beach Boys " California Girls." " Wish they all could be California Girls."
Funny how I have been able to meet warm Charming Beautiful woman all over the world and right in my own back yard.
Does it really matter what pond you fish in? | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:54:00 AM | Funny how I have been able to meet warm Charming Beautiful woman all over the world and right in my own back yard.
Does it really matter what pond you fish in? I think that's really the crux of the matter, artz, as far as the OP. He is unable to have good experiences with American women. So for him, apparently, it does matter where he fishes. Most men are comfortable with, attracted to, and attractive to women, wherever those women come from. But there are men who have difficulty interacting comfortably with and developing relationships with women, so they blame it on the women. In this case, the American male blaming it on American women. In some other countries, and I only know specifically of Britain in this sense, there are men of that country who blame their not getting on well with women on the women. I have actually read forum posts on another site from British men saying how hard British women are to get along with, but how easy American women are to get on with. It's really about the men who have social/personality problems. Most men get on fine with all women.  | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:44:49 PM | I'm kind of thinking
.....if you are one of us "unattractive males", as so many of us are now learning that we are, it doesn't much matter if it's Colombia, or small-town USA. Women find certain men as attractive, so do men find certain women attractive, and that leaves the rest of us....unattractive men and women...
Most of the women that I find attractive, I would never dare approach. I know that they have been hit on by guys much better than me.
What makes this OP so much more attractive in Colombia, than here in the USA?
Is there something that those of us who aren't considered "attractive" need to learn from this? | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:45:11 PM | hdspringer said:Most of the women that I find attractive, I would never dare approach. I know that they have been hit on by guys much better than me.
I fine that statement very sad. So you are going to give up without giving it a good college try? First of all you are an attractive man, secondly women look at more than just looks.
Now for heaven sake scribble of a note to those ladies that strike your fancy. Unless you plan on just settling for someone?
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:52:15 PM |
.....if you are one of us "unattractive males", as so many of us are now learning that we are, it doesn't much matter if it's Colombia, or small-town USA. Women find certain men as attractive, so do men find certain women attractive, and that leaves the rest of us....unattractive men and women...
Au contraire Sir, for the record....I consider you to be a very attractive man, killer smile.
...maeflowers | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:12:03 PM |
Most of the women that I find attractive, I would never dare approach. I know that they have been hit on by guys much better than me.
What! you got the "I'm not worthy syndrome"? If you think that way then you will not,and if you don't try,you will not.
To have confidence,and not arrogance, and not be afraid when someone says no thank, is part of life.
Like a lot of the ladies here that say", you deserve better,meaning life is for those who wish for more and deserve better. We don't want to hear any self defeating profitcey.
The only standard that is missing is asking. and who knows, she might say yes..Good luck | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:44:39 PM | First of all you are an attractive man, secondly women look at more than just looks. 
Au contraire Sir, for the record....I consider you to be a very attractive man, killer smile. Agree | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:19:10 PM | "There is no paradise anywhere in the world where younger, extremely attractive individuals go against type en mass and flow towards members of the opposite sex who are not attractive. Like attracts like, in most cases, universally. Highly intelligent people are attracted to highly intelligent people. Very physical people are attracted to very physical people. Etc. That includes looks."
Er. That's exactly what the OP experienced not. He describes himself as a literate but plain man and below-average in looks. And lo, he got the attention of young and old alike in Columbia.
I believe the OP was not lying. I don't know if you believed him, Ismene. But you're saying something as a theoretical truth that his instance has proven wrong.
I don't want to be a judge or a maker, but I am just saying. It's more of a logic thing to me than settling an argument. What you wrote and what he wrote makes one of your wrong. You both can't be right. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:24:38 PM | "There is no paradise anywhere in the world where younger, extremely attractive individuals go against type en mass and flow towards members of the opposite sex who are not attractive. Like attracts like, in most cases, universally. Highly intelligent people are attracted to highly intelligent people. Very physical people are attracted to very physical people. Etc. That includes looks."
Er. That's exactly what the OP experienced not. He describes himself as a literate but plain man and below-average in looks. And lo, he got the attention of young and old alike in Columbia.
I believe the OP was not lying. I don't know if you believed him, Ismene. But you're saying something as a theoretical truth that his instance has proven wrong.
I don't want to be a judge or a maker, but I am just saying. It's more of a logic thing to me than settling an argument. What you wrote and what he wrote makes one of your wrong. You both can't be right. If you had been reading this thread and my other posts, perhaps you would have understood the implication of what I was saying: there is no place on Earth where beautiful, very attractive and desirable men and women desire, en mass, to be paired with unattractive, undesirable people for no reason--no paradise where extremely attractive people find much less attractive people desirable for their person. They find them attractive for their money, status, the possibility of immigrating to a more prosperous country, but not because they are suddenly finding average people hot.
The OP was experiencing something many others who have traveled have experienced in poor countries, both men and women. I don't think he was lying; I think he was misreading the implications of what was happening. He has not proven my theory wrong. You have misunderstood my post. He misread the implications of what was happening to him. You have completely misread the post and have gone on to lecture me on a point that you have completely misunderstood and failed to grasp. Two geniuses. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:27:17 PM | "Au contraire Sir, for the record....I consider you to be a very attractive man, killer smile."
This reminds me of my first and only fight after school with a boy in grade seven.
We had been escalating some differences, and finally we decided to duke it out. Three girls and five guys came to watch the fight.
We found a clearing in a large empty lot in our neighbourhood. We threw our backpacks down, and took off our jackets. We rolled our sleeves up, and in the sunny April balm I took my shirt off. My bronzed muscles gently undulated in the strong afternoon sun. The other guy did, too. The girls got mesmerized; one by one they each took off all their clothes, and the boys too. We, the two fighters, looked at each other, and hand-on-shoulder we followed the others to behind some bushes.
There was a great rubbing of parts for some time, with moans and sighs.
This is what this thread turned out to be like. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:32:43 PM | You're right, Ismene. I misunderstood you. I was stumped by this line:
" individuals go against type en mass and flow towards members of the opposite sex "
I was trying to understand what is the type that has been the focus. A type is a subset when talking about populations, delimited by clearly identifiable qualities. I don't know what you meant by the above phrase, so I ignored it. And I said, why stop there? If I can ignore that part, then I'm sure I can do that to many other parts of Ismene's post.
Hence the result, the post I posted. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:50:02 PM |
OP had only one or two dates with these women. As Esmene stated, their approach is not direct. To be overt would defeat their purpose. It would quickly point out that they had no real interest in the man except for what he could do for them. The MO is to slowly work into the affections of the man or woman if that is the case, gain their affections and trust and then begin to work towards.............
Virtually the same thing could be said about SOME American women. I know I've had it happen to me right here in the good ole USA.
I'm not niave (but can't spell) to the many scammers from other countries. Had my experiences with those too, but I had early suspicions that their intent might not be genuine. But again, I can say the same thing about the American women that were looking to scam me. Proud to say, I listened to my intuition and they were dismissed before they got anything from me.
[Just to add, I wasn't chasing a 'young thang' in any of these instances.]
However, I'm not sure I could blame anyone wanting to improve their living conditions. If I were living in poor conditions, with a pool of potential mates that were less than respectful,....I'd be looking to improve my life and dating pool as well.
I was the first in my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...included) to get a college degree. And, as much as I loved my family (most are gone), and I take my oath on the fact that they were good people, I didn't want to settle for a narrow minded, uneducated, redneck woman that was prevalent in the circle I grew up in.
I wanted to improve my options via education.
I guess my only point is:
Yes, there are a lot of female scammers out there, from here and other countries, but there are also good women that are simply trying to improve their lives by making better choices in love and opportunity.
To systematically eliminate foreign women is stupid. One just needs to be cautious as they should with any potential mate.
On a side note: Yep, those South American women are hot!
just a few thoughts | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:54:58 PM | delimited You may mean delineated.
tinkles: there is no need to ignore any parts o f my posts if you read and understand them. I said in an earlier post that like attracts like. Studies show that people are attracted to and mate with people who are like themselves: beautiful people mate with other beautiful people, intelligent people mate with other intelligent people, and so on. In general, this seems to be the fact, based on studies, and, actually, if you just look around, it tends to be what you see. Of course, there are exceptions, and quite beautiful women marry physically unattractive men, sometimes it is for their character, and sometimes it is for their money, power or status.
So the word type was in reference to that. Which I had already posted. I generally don't repeat what I have posted in a previous post in order to continue on with a thought in a later post.
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:05:33 PM |
I'm not sure I could blame anyone wanting to improve their living conditions. If I were living in poor conditions, with a pool of potential mates that were less than respectful,....I'd be looking to improve my life and dating pool as well. Agree. I don't blame them for trying. As I have said, I lived in a country where this happens a lot with the men coming on to Western women. I had an experience one time, traveling from Rhodes to Izmir. I met a young man who was leading a group of Turkish tourists on a bus tour of Rhodes. I met him on the ferry from Rhodes to Turkey. He invited to ride free with them on the their tour bus all the way from Marmaris to Izmir (several hours) rather than taking the public bus back. This guy spent an hour or so on the ferry and 4 hours on the bus being very friendly and complementary, wanting to talk to me for hours and exchange email addresses, etc., complementing me on my beauty and youthfulness, etc. He was 26. Half my age. He was interested in making a connection, no doubt, but not because I was suddenly more or as attractive to him as girls his own age, rather because I was an American. He was very handsome, fit, college educated and spoke fluent English. It isn't just very poor people who do this. They are not what I would call scamming. They are looking for a better life. I know of one American woman about 45 who married a young (26) Turkish man. My cynical view is that she was desperate to get married, being 45 and single. He was looking for a retirement plan. They both got what they wanted, so what the hell? But it's not for me. And she was completely in denial, going on and on )though I never actually questioned her about it) as to how much he loved her. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:07:20 PM | I have not read the whole thread, but I visited Colombia at the age of 17 (in the 70's, which was a very interesting and educational experience) as I accompanied friends who had a sister who lived there, but I have an idea as to why the women enjoyed the OP.
Having been 17, blonde and quite beautiful at the time, I created a "sensation" everywhere I went... especially in my white crocheted bikini...there were actually guys in Cartegena who followed us and thought that we were "rich" for being there and tried to hang with us whenever possible. It was then and still a very poor country and like many, the women (and men) are desperate to leave and to marry foreigners and this is their ticket, so they were "nice" to you for that reason. So OP, if you have the $$$ and are not in sync with the women of your own culture...then go for it. Good luck. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:00:06 AM | ...I think a lot of men are fascinated with exotic looking woman.... and 99Latingirl is a classic example of that...she's incredibly beautiful. Why she's on a dating site is beyond me though.
OP....Sorry to hear that you don't do well with North American woman, so maybe you might want to look at retiring in South America...greener pastures so to speak.
...maeflowers
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:12:14 AM | Huh?
You're certainly a good writer Tinkle.
You're provacative tale didn't seem to apply to this thread in any way that I could discern.
Additionally, I felt like I had picked up a "naughty novel" and was reading some things I honestly really didn't care to read. I felt as if I had stumbled upon someone's personal and private experiences and it felt uncomfortable . It felt a bit like voyeurism. And of course I am in no way a voyeur. In conclusion on that aspect of your post...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
But...you threw it out there. I can only wonder why.
How does a fight that you had after school in which people got naked and did "whatever" have any bearing on a thread where the issue is that a man went to a foreign country and was fawned over and has come away with the misapprehension that is was because the women found him irresistable. How does it address the actual reason for why he was treated that way? I see no connection whatever.
...Barbi  | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:33:10 AM | HDspringer09..I've been to about 20 different countries, and I've observed that certain countries do tend to have a select number of women that prefer certain types of men.
Many Filipinos love caucasians
Many Germans love men of color
It's apparent these women in Columbia find the OP attractive, good for him. He simply sought to provide an honest opinion of his experience. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:07:25 AM | "I generally don't repeat what I have posted in a previous post in order to continue on with a thought in a later post."
Thanks, Ismene.
In order to avoid future misunderstandings and in order not to force you into repeating yourself, I'll endeavour now to read all you previous posts and I'll try to memorize them as close as possible to the original wording.
When I'm finished, I'll let you know.
I'm still not comfortable with your use of the word "type"; there is no such thing as a "good-looking type" or "famous type" or "rich type of guy". Type is a lesser subset of a subset of the population, with usually not immediately obvious delimiting qualities. It refers to behaviour or mindset which is different from the norm, but there are enough instances in the population that the people who fit the description, can be classed into a type. For instance, "I'm an argumentative type of guy." If someone does not know the language, or if I am reading a book, nobody around me would know that. But when Farrah Fawcett showed up at a gala, nobody referred to her as "a rich type" or "famous type". Or before her fame, she showed up, and everyone thought she was beautiful, yet nobody referred her as "look at that girl, isn't she the beautiful type?" Other people may be referred to as the "Farrah Facett type" by looks or by personality; but again, that would be a very small subset of the population.
I really can't see how a bunch of young, good looking people who are rich and have a sense of humour, can be referred to as a "type". Ivy-league type? There aren't too many of those at any time in ALL the grocery stores in an average town.
I am sorry to have made such a big fuss over this. I just thought that since you liked the nuance pointed out between delimited and delienated, you'd like to have the proper use of the word "type" pointed out, too.
That's all. Sorry. Never mind.
Again, I'll comment on your posts when I've read all your previous ones, repeatedly, and memorized them all. | |
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| Differences between American and Colombian Women
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:22:37 AM | Yet another guy who can't get a woman so it must be because American women are so bad.
I know a lot of people from Columbia both male and female and they are all very warm and friendly to everyone. They are very much extroverts.
If American women are cold and unapproachable so are American men. | |
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