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Posted: 6/27/2009 7:55:09 AM | This reminds me of the 2nd date I had with the woman that became the love of my life. We were walking into a restaurant from a parking area a little ways away and she said, "I don't know why you want to date me, we can't get married?". And my response was, "I just wanted to have dinner with you!"..... It helped put things into perspective.
She had been raised with the idea that you don't waste someones time and money by dating them when "logically" there was no future. The reality is that you don't know what the future really has in store. In the end we married and loved each other as best we could. She died 6 years ago now and I'll miss her all my life. But I would not give up a second of those memories for anything. Even knowing how they ended up.
Give yourself a chance to have an adventure. Maybe things will work out very differently than you think they will right now. But at least you will have time together that is loving and precious regardless of what the future brings. Thinking about it too much just causes you to waste and not appreciate what you have today.
Well, that's what I think, anyway ......  | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:01:33 AM | | I am literally laughing at some of these responses, but some of you are right, and some of you need to get laid ;p For the earlier posters, I took your advice and just talked it over with him, and it turned out better than I expected because he was confused too. So we got it straight, he said he likes doing things with me because he doesn't want us not to be friends, and he said I needed to do some thinking about what I really wanted before one of us got hurt. I guess communication is really the key. I guess I am going golfing today after work ;P | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:07:27 AM | | "before one of us got hurt" is manspeak for "You're not the one" But I'll hang out w/ you till the right girl comes along. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:28:33 AM |
...but I have to look out for my heart too. I don't deal well with broken hearts
Why are you on POF at all if you're not willing to take a chance romantically? It sounds like you've found a man who you don't want to hurt (and you obviously know he wants more than sex)...yet you're more comfortable to hurt a stranger because you're not mature enough to be honest. That's pretty much what it boils down to.
Advice: if you're still on this path in 7 to 8 years' time the fishpool will get smaller very quickly & you will look back and regret the chances you threw away. I'm not suggesting you immediately marry/shack up with Mr FWB, but look at what you're doing, decide if you're serious about him (and about dating), or remove your profile or else other people will be hurt too. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:29:54 AM |
"before one of us got hurt" is manspeak for "You're not the one" But I'll hang out w/ you till the right girl comes along.
Or it could mean he doesn't want to get hurt by stepping wrong, and end up losing the relationship he has in the process. (That could mean he wants more but will take what he's got, or that he only wants what he has.) The communication isn't finished with these two. I think they're still walking on egg shells. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:31:55 AM |
"before one of us got hurt" is manspeak for "You're not the one" But I'll hang out w/ you till the right girl comes along.
Spumoni, have you even read the background to this thread? | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:56:16 AM | | spumoni I don't need quotes out of " He's just not that into you" I have picked up a book or two my dilemma was not that I was not "the one" but about his wanting more than the sex I am content with. You must have me confused with a desperate or insecure relationship kinda girl ;p and to the earlier poster I am on here for dating not for a LTR read my profile before you judge me and even then realize that your wishes for yourself are not for everybody else ;o | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 9:56:48 AM | | I hated when your fvck buddy wants more. Come on, who wants to talk, spend time together. The horror, the horror. Tell him to just drop his pants and fvck you. And to stop all the other non-sense. Or better yet, learn to seduce the guy and do a better job at your end. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 10:25:11 AM | | After reading this thread, I have that damn song in my head!!!! | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 6:02:53 PM | This is one of the silliest threads. I find the situation ridiculous. Either tell the "friend" that you are afraid of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, or stop riding him. He wants you as a GF, and if you keep this up, he is going to ditch as both a friend and a **** buddy. With good reason, too. You know the answer, and unless there is another guy that you are enjoying a relationship with. Personally, I like the idea that your friend seems to see you as a love interest, and I cannot figure out why you are afraid of him. Life will continue to pass you by unless you grab it by the horns. Go get your guy! | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 7:02:43 PM | So in other words this friend of yours you only want as a person to have sex with, nothing more, you need to stop being selfish and tell him that you dont want anything more from this relationship other than sex. Everyone has feelings and if you are a friend like you say, dont hurt his he deserves the truth. save him from a broken heart. So he can find someone who wants to be with him
Good luck | |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 7:20:32 AM | | I thought it was clear that I did tell him that I was not ready for a relationship. Yes you are exactly right people I am petrified of relationships. I have closed myself off emotionally for so long that it comes as second nature to be this way. When I start feeling any emotions I usually cut it right off, but this is the first time it has been with someone so close to me and I am afraid that yes I will be passing up something that could be great, but at the same time I don't think that I am ready to go through heartache. Don't get me wrong if I wanted a boyfriend it would be him, no question. thank you everyone for your input even the ***hole comments because those were for a good laugh if anything xoxo | |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 7:27:15 AM | | Yup. I'm with Austgirl. And I have read the thread. Just sayin maybe he really isn't that into you, but his emotional issues makes him think he wants what he can't have, that's why there's no big sex drive towards you. Just sayin... don't B hatin. | |
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Posted: 6/30/2009 7:33:09 AM | | I understand that every person you open ur heart up 2 takes a lil piece with them (a bite?) and after a while, you don't have much left. At least that's how it feels. Sounds like you both have some issues...but never be afraid to love. Just cut the cards, and don't up the ante too fast. Of course a relationship will take a toll on people. That's the price of love. But the payback can be tenfold!!! | |
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Posted: 7/1/2009 11:34:17 AM | | Now your talking ;p lastnight made everything clear, I just had to stop lying to myself. I just told him how I felt (really felt, no pretentions) N it turns out that was what he was waiting for, and he did want to date me he just was worried If he brought it up I would disappear; we are now exclusive. I was warned this would happen that if I let myself open up to him, there was a possibility that we would be dating. I guess no broken hearts ..... for now . Am I a reformed coldheart? I guess all it took was the right guy my FRIEND xoxo | |
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Posted: 7/2/2009 11:03:13 AM | | Fabulous! Tis better to try & see, than always wonder. And damn the torpedos! If it ends up taking a bite out of your heart, well, the Good Lord gave us the ability to regenerate, as long as the bite isn't too big. Good for you for picking yourself & dusting off. You can't win if you don't play. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2009 2:49:23 PM | I kinda jumped in here a little late, but this is how I would feel;
It would be wonerfull to have a female friend who trusted me enough to have friend based casual sex, especialy if the sex was good, relaxing and fun. However, To be honest with myself, I dont know if I could handel a relationship like that. I'm afraid that I would develope an overall love for the person and would eventualy want more. I admit I'm clingy like that and feeling so comfortable around a woman like that would have an obvious effect on my emotions. Not to say that your friend was or is like that, but from a mans prospective, I think it would be hard not to fall in love. And then the fear of driving that person away would probably dampen the friendship.
Not that all men are like this. In my current state, I would have a very hard time keeping a situation like this from turning into an rolercoaster. I'm naturaly a lonely person who craves female attention, (and no, I dont mean just sexualy. Just being next to a woman that I love and being touched is wonderful). | |
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Posted: 7/5/2009 11:30:40 PM | This thread makes me sad.
TK
{yeah, I know, messages this short cannot be posted
messages this short cannot be posted
messages this short cannot be posted
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Posted: 8/23/2009 5:31:11 AM | Romny, you absolutely know nothing about men or women, your asinine post reveals your inexperience and naivete... or perhaps, like in every other thread, you are just trolling.
seriously, get a life, your attitude is why you spend 24/7 on a variety of dating sites and keep hooking up with undesirable, loser men. | |
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Posted: 8/23/2009 9:41:27 AM | | He sounds like a good guy that genuinely likes you and finds validation in doing nice things for you. But instead of allowing a relationship to grow out of friendship, you probably prefer the bad boy that disregards you, treats you with disrespect, is domineering, and keep you on a level beneath his own. He’s one of those “nice” guys that live in the friend zone because you don’t respect his appearance of being a wuss. The truth is, this guy is better than the others I describe and, better for you. And perhaps you would be wise to give things a chance. Now, there is a point where his attention will drive you nuts if he takes it that far. But, if he can maintain his manhood and still treat you like a Lady, than that’s a good thing. | |
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Posted: 8/23/2009 11:47:21 AM | Lie and tell him you're going to only have sex with someone you're in a relationship with, that you're "starting a new path". Here some good text.
"Jon, I have words to say to you, but I don't want you to say any words back to me - I know how you feel. Jon, I am SO glad you killed all the mice in the basement last week. And I LUV the way you twist your ****finger around my Gspot - nobody does it better. But honey, we've tried this relationship thang with you and me before, and it's just NOT gonna work. So, let's just stay apart for a few weeks, and see how it goes. And if I don't have a date for New Year's, I'll give you a call. Now, I mean it - I really want to try looking for The Guy for a while, so please, do what's right by me like you always have, and please don't call or stop by. Until New Years. If I need a date. Love ya. Bye." (insert kiss on cheek here)
Deliver this monolog OUTSIDE of your the door AFTER you've gotten your dozen multiples, then immediately go inside and lock the door. This is NOT a discussion. Talking only gives him hope.
Signed,
Your old and wicked ladyfriend who is accustomed to getting her own way. | |
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