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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:16:10 PM |
Man I can't believe how Fu**ing dumb people are on POF. Isn't it plain common sense? Young women are hot, men never stop being horny. Simple as that. Stop asking stupid fu**ing questions please.
Sorry, it can't be. Accepting such a simple, logical, sensible, obvious explanation would imply acknowledging that older women are less attractive or desirable than younger women. And we simply can't have that. Therefore, we must search from some harebrained, twisted explanation in order to protect their fragile female egos. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:19:23 PM | Well, having personally just left my teens about 2 yrs ago (now in early 20s) I can see how those girls would want to date men in their 40s.
I personally wouldn't do it because the age gap is way too big, and I'd consider him to be too much of a father figure than a bf/parner (gross!). However if other girls want to date them, why the heck not? Its not affecting any of us anyway, and its legal in most places. There might be the question of morality, but seriously, who the fVck cares? I don't. Leave them be. I think the OP is just bitter she can't date men her age...LOL | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:43:07 PM | I feel what is annoying the older ladies here, is that men of comparable age ,are writing them off, as old and being very hurtful and insulting , often just to bait.The ladies get defensive and the knives are out.Moobs,sagging skin, weight, grey hair, baldness all the by products of the passing years.Noone is immune from aging male or female.We all get old and look our age, time waits for noone.Why pretend it only affects one gender.I see older couples all the time,the men never looks younger than the women.
Women who have worked hard and borne kids and raised them.Why would an older man, who is aged himself, have contempt for the wife who has borne his children and being a help mate to him, because of something that has affected them both, time.She has not rejected him for his wrinkles and sags, why would he her.Is that true love and caring, I doubt it.
A 25 year old man looks better than 55 year old man, a 18 year old girl look better than a middle aged woman of course.But there is more than looks to attraction, theres personality, compatibility, common goals/ground.For a relationship to last, you need more than good looks, pecs or a firm ass.
I guess a younger woman and older man could meet and fall in love, why not.Its the derision by older men here, , toward older women I object to.So you dont fancy them, thats fine but why make them feel like crap, its not necessary.Yea they hit back, but what does it achieve, except hurt feelings all round.It seems some male posters think it is funny, to make hurtful comments, I will say it is not impressive.
There are so many fantastic older women and men on this forum, many are role models to me.I admire them.
I have never dated younger men, even 25 is too young for me.I prefer men in their thirties,mature and sorted.I reckon at 28, I am too old and grizzled for most here.I dont want to be 18 again either.Been there, done that and life moves forward not back.Cest la-vie, I guess I will have to live with it. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:47:23 PM | Ageism. Middle Aged Ageism.
How often does a man over 39 who is physically fit, intelligent, financially independent, and kind and honorable consider dating a woman his own age? The preceding question rhetorically asked, question two is:
how many middle aged men's profiles will not even accept e-mails from any/all women more than one or two years older than they? Including physically fit, intelligent, financially independent, kind and honorable women who have loved, know how to love, and are ready, willing & able to love again?
The answers are "rarely". And "even more rarely".
And this ageism is not unique to middle aged men. There are profiles here written by 65-70 year old women. Their age range for the men they seek? 45-70. Why not 60-75??
We are a society of many fears. Near the top of the list? Aging. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:54:38 PM |
Moobs,sagging skin, weight, grey hair, baldness all the by products of the passing years.
********Snort******** I have a vision of the last man I met who had lied about his age. Like I wouldn't notice he was either well into his 50s or the 20s, 30s, 40s truly had NOT been kind. 
~OT~ I don't understand for a moment why people get all fuzzed up about older men dating or wanting to date much younger women. I just figure it's personal preference and if they can find, attract and keep someone younger, kudos to them. I do think it would be really interesting to read how it's working out when she's 25 and he's 55 or nearing 60, my guess? Oh I dunno, Anna Nicole Smith's United States Supreme Court ruling comes to mind, but you never know. Then I think of the other side and giggle. The former Mrs. Hogan and her boy-toy living off of Hulk's cash. Whatever works.  (I want someone I can relate to for a LONG time, that means he needs to be age appropriate for me today and tomorrow.) JMO  | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 5:39:33 PM | | I don't know if it is an ego thing or not with those older men, but I think that men THAT OLD specifically looking in a very young age range are definitely dirty old perverts! Why would they want someone so young? What could they possibly have in common with someone so young and what else could they want from them besides sex? I really think they are old perverts, but that is just my opinion. Some people would argue on these men's behalf and say "age is just a number and you are as young as you feel" and all that garbage. But you know what? Let's suppose that America's view of adulthood was different.... and lets say we considered 14 or 12 years old adulthood. You know damn well these perverts would be going after our 12 year olds. Overly older men looking for girls who have just gone into adulthood just seems very wrong to me! | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:12:05 AM | But there is more than looks to attraction, theres personality, compatibility, common goals/ground.For a relationship to last, you need more than good looks, pecs or a firm ass.
Of course there is. But you see, by their own admission, most of those older women:
- Aren't easy to impress. (They're harder to get)
- Don't fall for their BS. (They assume by default that you're a liar)
- Have higher standards. (But they fret and moan when the guy dares to have standards, too)
- Have been there, done that. (Can you spell "jaded"?)
- Consider doing ANYTHING for a man as "pandering the male ego" (and what's wrong with giving your man's ego a boost, I wonder?)
Besides of their love for mentioning things such as Viagra, male ego, ED, etc. in terms not exactly endearing to the man, and their penchant for accusing men of perversion and shallowness when they want something these women aren't willing or capable to provide.
Would you call that "personality"? Only if you put "toxic" in front of it.
"Common goals"? Most of those women can't be bothered with doing anything to become more attractive to a man, and you expect they will make any effort towards a "common goal"?
Just imagine being a man having a relationship with somebody like that. And they don't even have that good looks, pecs or a firm ass (and thoroughly despise those who still have) to make it worth the effort.
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't touch somebody like that even if she were a 19-year old hottie with big tats. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:21:14 AM | | Yes its sexual and these old buggers choice is legal yet disturbing if they have teens of their own. I don't get it how they can mentally do it with a 18 or 19 year old...sick! | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:06:53 AM | | Remember, two 25 year old's equal a 50 year old. That's why every respectful man should be indulging in threesomes with young women. It's the mature thing to do, gosh darn it. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:08:58 AM | I'm 42 years, I have lots of young ladies, who are good friends nothing more.
Why ????
Because I happen to like and preferr older women, or women if younger, closer to my age. My last GF was 55 and I was 39 when so picked me up. So if any older, but definately sexier women out here happen to see me, I'm available for you !
Cheers
Paul | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:15:29 AM |
I feel what is annoying the older ladies here, is that men of comparable age ,are writing them off, as old and being very hurtful and insulting , often just to bait.The ladies get defensive and the knives are out.Moobs,sagging skin, weight, grey hair, baldness all the by products of the passing years.Noone is immune from aging male or female.We all get old and look our age, time waits for noone.Why pretend it only affects one gender.I see older couples all the time,the men never looks younger than the women.
I agree with this but with a catch. Men and women certainly both age, but unlike women, men's attraction value is not typically based solely on looks. Thus, they actually have the potential to become more attractive as they age through things like wealth and experience despite looking less physically attractive whereas women do not really have that luxury.
I think the baiting for conflict is purely an internet forum issue, though. Let's be honest here. We're on an internet dating site message board. To the majority of the people that post here regularly, this is the best way they feel like they could be spending their time. That's why they do it. Many of them are here in the first place because they are alone, unhappy, and not having much luck with meeting people. So all that unhappiness and negativity gets channeled into instigating fights on here.
If you notice, the people that don't post very often are typically not nearly as opinionated or angry. Because they have a satisfactory life outside of the forum.
Ageism. Middle Aged Ageism.
We are a society of many fears. Near the top of the list? Aging.
Nice theory. The problem is it's not really why people do this. I'm not saying people don't fear aging. Most of them certainly do. But the reason older people want to date younger people is because attraction is not a choice. They want what they find appealing. A lot of people seem to have somewhat of a hard time accepting this and try to guilt others into settling for people closer to their own age because they find it offensive to think that they, themselves, might no longer be as attractive as someone younger. Not that I don't understand why they would feel that way. It sucks to get older. It sucks to lose your looks. But it happens to all of us in time. That's life. That doesn't mean we should go around encouraging other people to be unhappy because we're not. That's a classic case of misery loves company.
People really need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks they should to do and just do what they want.
I don't know if it is an ego thing or not with those older men, but I think that men THAT OLD specifically looking in a very young age range are definitely dirty old perverts! Why would they want someone so young? What could they possibly have in common with someone so young and what else could they want from them besides sex? I really think they are old perverts, but that is just my opinion. Some people would argue on these men's behalf and say "age is just a number and you are as young as you feel" and all that garbage. But you know what? Let's suppose that America's view of adulthood was different.... and lets say we considered 14 or 12 years old adulthood. You know damn well these perverts would be going after our 12 year olds. Overly older men looking for girls who have just gone into adulthood just seems very wrong to me!
You're 25. I'll be interested to hear your opinion on this when you're 50. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:00:12 AM | | My opinion would not differ if I were 50. I've always been attracted to my own age group. I am not saying that it is wrong for an older guy to go after a woman that is younger than him even by several years. But what I am saying is that it is wrong when they are going for women who have just became 18 or even 19. It seems so wrong to me! These girls are barely even considered adults and are still considered young adults (eighTEEN, nineTEEN). Why on earth a 50 year old man want a relationship with someone who is barely legal is beyond my understanding! | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:49:45 AM | Whenever I see a barely legal to middle-age pairing I assume it was initiated on purely physical attraction. Let's face it, with youth comes certain physical benefits and with the declining support for our founding puritan principles, young people are strutting around looking way better and more provocative than the old folks ever did at that age. Even the generation just after me makes my eyes bug out with what their parents let them get away with these days.
1) If we're going to talk the cliche Dirty Old Man, Barely Legal Sexpot scenario:
A naughty cheerleader was the original Viagra, and some men don't like how the blue pill buggers with their heart... 
2) If we're talking the recenlty-coined Cougar (former Mrs Robinson) and the young stud:
A well-trained Cabana-boy is less expensive to keep long term than replacement batteries. 
Either way, what these older folk choose to do is no business of mine, nor is it any skin off my back since I'm too old to seriously date teeny-boppers anyway. I've had a couple of youngin's succumb to crushes on me in the past, but I just can't stand to hear them blather on about Facebook drama and Reality TV, and I'm just not a big enough bastar*d to tune them out and use them sexually.
So I just back away, and encourage them to find boys their own age, however stupid most may currently be. Still, there are days where I wonder why I deprive my loins to no apparent reward to pursue women my own age that ignore me...   | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 12:43:17 PM | Very well spoken there JgirlinSD
To each their own and if works more power to them, but I am not into baby sitting and drama that goes along with some of the ideas of a few generations passed mine. btw Jgirl, I must admit you are a very beauitful lady, one tht I would be interested in getting to know, how is 49 n holding for as numbers? lol | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 1:38:24 PM | I know a couple who are like this.., he got with her when she was 18.. she already had a kid.. and he is a successful person.. makes a bunch of money.. a few years down the road he is having some medical problems and she cheats on him anytime she can.. she doesn't want him.. but doesn't want anyone else to have him.. so she went back to him.. but she spent $88,000 bucks on stuff.. who knows what it was... she will leave again.. she is only back for her stability...but she admits that she doesn't love in the way she should...so this is how most of these relationships end up...
This other one she is 25.. and he is 55... he is abusive to her.. emotionally and physically... and he constantly mistreats her... Telling her she is stupid and all that stuff.. but she stays...at first she used to feed his ego.. she got pregnant.. and I think outta depression she started to eat and got fat.. his ex-wife told her.. girl he is not a nice guy.. I am warning you don't get involved with him... and you know she jsut thought.. oh she was just jealous.. she found out quickly that is was not true..
There are reasons these men choose younger.. so they vary...good luck to anyone who does it.. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:30:06 PM | I don’t see what the hullabaloo is all about. I'm one of those people. We don't have a 20-year gap but I'm closer to my wife's parents' age than her age. It works well for us. We have a functioning, respectful relationship (in and out of the bedroom). We have three well-adjusted and (usually) happy kids together. We both have good educations and decent jobs. We’re accepted in the community and have a lot of mutual friends. Sure we have some different interests. We also share many interests - and our day to day agendas make the differences a moot point most of the time anyway. So what?
It’s easy to point at other folks’ failed relationships and blame it on the obvious. But h*ll, most relationships fail - even when there isn’t an age gap. Who’s to say that the relationships with an age discrepancy wouldn’t have failed even if the partners had been the same age? - Certainly none of you who weren’t there and don’t know the situation or the people involved. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:28:18 PM | | As far as im concerned if a 48 year old can sleep with a 16 year old CHILD he HAS pedophilic tendencies…a 12 year old and 16 year old would be the same thing to him..the ONLY thing stopping him is the fear of getting caught…but he’s still a pedophile no matter what. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:55:45 PM | Hard to read something like this and not man bash. Men seeking out the 18 year olds?
How 'bout the women seeking the 21 year olds? Better keep my son indoors. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:57:57 PM | | Yes, it is purely sexual. He usually has wealth and can pay for the things she wants...it is a trade off of 'sexual arm candy' for him and 'expensive gifts' for her. He pays for her and she pays her dues to him in the form of sex. I know several men in their 50's who have women in their 20's. It seems to be very common these days. These type of men do not want to 'reproduce', most already have children her age...when she becomes overweight, stretch marks etc.. while pregnant he has lost the interest in what he was attracted too...the young flawless body. It isn't rocket science. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 4:49:15 PM |
but unlike women, men's attraction value is not typically based solely on looks. Thus, they actually have the potential to become more attractive as they age through things like wealth and experience despite looking less physically attractive whereas women do not really have that luxury.
Thats the thing , the theory is womens attraction is based on looks, but in a now supposedly, equal society should not be.We argue here about who pays etc and how women are now equal, but yet we are not equal, because we have an outdated, false notion, that womens sole attraction is their looks.
Does not intelligence count, loyalty, faithfulness, humour,kindness, a loving heart
Women have experience, education and the means to be wealthy, does not this not also add to their attractiveness.Of course it does.We women do have that luxury. When ones value is based on a finite thing like beauty, this leaves ones human value debased.Mens beauty fades and womens beauty fades.Youth is fleeting.This is life, but their spirit and character grows and expands past the mere physical.We grow from green shoots to full grown trees.A wonderful thing.
I was walking past a University today and seen all the young students pile out, laughing and chatting.Full of joy - de- vive.All around 18/19, starting their life, learning, growing still.Girls of 18 to 20 need to be getting an education, playing the field, enjoying life not shacked up with someone twice their age.This is their time, to grow with their peers,be young and carefree, it will soon be gone.Youth cannot be reclaimed.
Of course men of all ages, will look admiringly at these young beauties in their bloom.Its normal and male to do so.I would expect nothing else, it healthy .A relationship may develop between different ages, but with such a large age gap, the girl may find herself a young widow with kids.Kids may lose a much loved father.It not always practical or sensible.
A fling can do no harm, and may even prove educational.But 18 and 48, hmm big age gap.What would you have in common., when the sex gets boring and she wants to go clubbing.
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:36:22 PM | But the reason older people want to date younger people is because attraction is not a choice. They want what they find appealing. A lot of people seem to have somewhat of a hard time accepting this and try to guilt others into settling for people closer to their own age because they find it offensive to think that they, themselves, might no longer be as attractive as someone younger. Not that I don't understand why they would feel that way. It sucks to get older. It sucks to lose your looks. But it happens to all of us in time. That's life. That doesn't mean we should go around encouraging other people to be unhappy because we're not. That's a classic case of misery loves company.
Hi, "Raphael. . . "
That you can "understand why [older people] would feel "that they, themselves, might no longer be as attractive as someone younger"
only illustrates my point. Many people --- including you, think that "it sucks to get older. It sucks to lose your looks."
Respectfully. I disagree totally.
Growing older does not mean losing "your looks."
When I look at a man's physical self, I first and foremost look at his body. A 25 year old with 35 extra pounds around his 43 inch waist is "not attractive." A 52 year old man with a 34 inch waist, a flat stomach, and muscle tone that suggests he takes care of his body is very very attractive.
Do you think a person in great physical condition has lost his looks simply because he has wrinkles?
What if this 52 year old man with wrinkles and grey hair can run a 5k in 20 minutes? Can hike for 20 miles at a stretch, and has eyes as shining as his heart of gold? Is he less attractive simply because he is 3 decades older?
I think not.
But the above is just my opinion.
As I said before: most people fear aging. And fear being with someone "old".
Unfortunately for them, they may well sacrifice compatibility of interests and needs (witness: Hugh Hefner) because they can feel attraction only for someone who is not "old".
Don't get me wrong: it's certainly possible for a May-December romance to last and last well. But more often than not. . .
someone will get "old" in someone else's eyes.
And that may well be a long term losing thing -- for the person doing the "seeing" | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/2/2009 12:23:41 PM | | I suspect it is more of an ego thing. Specifically, middle-aged men who date young women often have control issues. Sure, they like the idea of sex with nubile young hotties. But they also like dating woman who are less experiecned about life, probably have less money, and in general will be more dependent and thus deferential towards them. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/2/2009 8:24:04 PM | | I think it's just wishful thinking on the mans part. But if he succeeds what a total legend mucho respects and props to the horny old dog LOL! | |
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