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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:10:20 PM | To the O.P. original questions: Is it purely sexual? No like any relationship it is a strange mix of different motivations and reasons. Different from person to person. Keep in mind the women in these relationships have a choice also they are not coerced or drugged. Why not ask them.
Your second question- Other than the core need for men to reproduce, spreading their seed sorta thing, other than that why do men do this? Men take what is given to them. The general feeling is that older women are to guarded, jaded, and will find more reasons to say no than yes. (not without reason I am sure). Women around our age like to make men feel like crap. Maybe you are just better at calling us on our B.S.. Just my opinion. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:12:22 PM | | As long as she's not my daughter I could care less but she obviously has issues and he is taking full advantage of the situation. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:28:30 PM | To The Rock Man!
YOU ROCK..that's true...it go's both ways. Honestly? Most men over 45 don't turn me on at all, so I guess I can understand about the 48 year old and the 18 year old. It doesn't bother me at all actually, I have a nice body that doesn't sag and I'm intelligent and fun. It's all a matter of personal taste and perception. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:28:43 PM | @ marianne 100
Sorry that joke hit home, as it was quite clearly a JOKE.
However two points did come to mind...
You act as if the blame for a woman's inability to achieve orgasm has never been placed on a man's shoulders. Pretty sure thats happened before.
Secondly, I was once in a relationship where my initial attraction for the my SO was waning as she was gaining too much weight. I began having trouble achieving erections when we were attempting to be intimate, and it pretty much didn't work at all unless she went down on me. When it came to porn and "me time", I had absolutely no trouble getting erections and I have not had trouble since. I Wonder what the cause of my temporary bout of ED was?
My point is this: It isn't always the woman's fault. That doesn't mean it never is. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:34:11 PM |
Well, you are in a minority if you believe this, 'cause women seem to find myriad reasons to call men shallow, immature shitheads no matter WHAT men say in the fora or how they act in the real world.
But that's the point isn't it? I don't think men are shallow, capitano....You seem to. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:36:05 PM | People like what they like! Who really gives a sh1t if a young women gets with an older guy, or visa versa? If it works for them it works for them and is nobody elses business..
Heaven knows i have met many people my age who act and look 20 years older than me, and i'm damned if i want to be with any of them. I couldn't give a damn if they don't like it! I like what i like..
I'd reckon a man who prefers younger women, prefers them for the same reasons a woman my age (me) prefers a man who can still operate sexually and who hasn't let themselves go physically. I guess i'm pretty lucky in that i have a man in my age bracket where everything is still working and he keeps his body in good condition. But if i hadn't been able to find a man like that then i would have looked for a younger man. Shoot me!!! | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:36:33 PM | dirty ole man syndrome tis called which wont work in 999/1000 cases.
I believe the female equivalent is a cougar - notice the subtle yet spurious accepted name created by some of the opposite sex as there are rubbed up against with the fervour of a dog against a lamppost afore they meander not a care in the world to next bestest thing as the trade toyboy for the wordage of P (and i aint saying it)
Classical lamppost theorem hmm mind you i need a name for guys who do this so erm let me think
Dirty beggar theorem sounds good | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:45:36 PM | Sorry that joke hit home
If by "hit home" you think it applied to me, it didn't. My ex never had ED, and when we were together for our son's graduation this week, he invited me to come back to his house for a "sleepover". In fact, he hits on me pretty much every time he sees me, so if he ever develops ED, it isn't MY fault.
If by "hit home", you mean that I find it offensive that a guy MY OWN age, and my own level of physical attractiveness would need to take a pill to be able to "get" with me, then yeah, your joke was a success.
I happen to think that when a person regularly has sexual difficulty, it is much more about the person than his/her partner.
You act as if the blame for a woman's inability to achieve orgasm has never been placed on a man's shoulders. Pretty sure thats happened before.
Actually, your joke implied that it was mostly the woman's fault that the husband had ED, so I was merely pointing out the inequity of your statement. I am sure there are multitudes of dysfunctional and unsatisfied husbands and wives who would love to blame it on their partners.
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:48:10 PM | "Women wouldn't date an 18 year old because of the bashing they would get from other women."
Actually there are some very interesting threads about women dating younger men. Most of the "bashing" came from men. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:49:54 PM |
But that's the point isn't it? I don't think men are shallow, capitano....You seem to.
Semantics, perhaps?
I don't think that a man seeing a hot, young woman and wanting to bang her is shallow at all. MOST heterosexual men, approximately 99%, have that reaction, immediately, without EVER having met the woman. It's just the way we're wired and has ZERO to do with our emotional 'evolution' in most cases.
It's a VERY rare guy who sees a hot woman and says to himself, "Hmmmm, I wonder what she thinks of Norse Sagas? Now, THAT, would give me a woody!".......
WOMEN, you included, use the adjective "shallow" to describe the way men react to hot, young women or to the hot women of any age for that matter. There are many other adjectives tossed our way as well that are less than complementary, though most often completely inaccurate.
You are trying to attribute something to me that is just NOT true. So it goes.
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:00:34 PM | Because it makes sense. Reasons:
1) Mature women want someone to grow old with, at least when it comes to guys their own age. But feminism has become the victim of its own success. It's been so successful, that the law favours women in all live-in relationships, married or not. Add in that most relationships end in breakup, and a man is risking losing the majority of his savings and assets, and those are what he's relying on for living off when he's too old to work. But young women are the reverse. They don't usually want to marry a much older man. But they are often happy to date a much older man short-term. So they are looking for the same type of relationship as the young woman.
2) Mature women are very firm about what they do and don't want. They can be incredibly forgiving with a young guy. But not with a guy their age. They expect him to have his sh*t together. So things are very difficult for a woman his age. Younger women tend to be much more understanding of an older guy, far more than guys their own age. Plus, older men have been young once. They know a lot of the problems. But they are only learning to deal with a lot of the problems that women their own age are grappling with. So it's easier for them to deal with a young woman.
3) It seems sometimes like the entire world is having sex constantly. All men want to be a part of that. But older men do even more, because they've missed a lot of opportunities working, or being married. They want to get their final shot while they can. However, mature women now tend to say that they've "been there, done that", and that "if all they wanted was sex, they could get that anytime without trying". Mature women don't seem to be that up for sex. Young women are often known to say that they are up for sex first, then seeing how things develop after, and a lot have sex on the first date. It's simply getting what's fair.
4) Younger women in general have great bodies. There are quite a few mature women who have looked after themselves. But if you look at pubs, clubs, and bars, it's the mature fit women who are surrounded by guys now. They have their pick of men. So if you want a woman who is in shape, it's just a lot easier to go after younger women. Not as much competition.
Now, I know a lot of men who would love to spend the rest of their lives with a woman who is looks great, who is great fun to be with, and is very easy-going, who is very into sex, who is going to be fair with them and not screw them over if they split, and who is really into being there for the long haul. But they aren't finding many women like that. So most men I know are staying single, getting laid the odd time here or there, and not much else.
I'm not saying that I agree with it. But it makes sense. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:05:07 PM |
Actually there are some very interesting threads about women dating younger men. Most of the "bashing" came from men.
Yes, I believe the bashing mostly takes the form of 1) he just wants you for easy sex 2) he is after your money 3) he will make a joke of you and never marry you. It was mostly men who said this stuff, although I can see that it might be true.
Yet, if women suggest that the young chick wants the old guy for his money, and is desperate to get married, or that the young chick is trading sex for those things, the women are accused of being bitter or angry......even though these things might be true.
I am 43. My oldest child is 21, and for the life of me I cannot see anything interesting about any of his friends. Different strokes, I guess. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:22:09 PM | @ Marianne 100
Actually, your joke implied that it was mostly the woman's fault that the husband had ED, so I was merely pointing out the inequity of your statement. I am sure there are multitudes of dysfunctional and unsatisfied husbands and wives who would love to blame it on their partners.
Actually, my joke was simply meant to be humorous. Your opinion may be that it was not, but I am sure that others found at least a little amusing. If we are going to dissect the thing to death, I suppose I could point out that in this particular case the source of the fathers ED could in fact be the boys mother.
I wasn't saying that women are always the cause of ED, it was a joke... plain and simple. In fact, it wasn't even my joke. It was a stand up bit from Greg Giraldo.
Another one comes to mind. It goes something like this...
Why is it that when I can't get an erection it's my fault, but when you can't have an orgasm.....it's my fault. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:26:15 PM | | OP, simply put.... he's suffering from SWTS: severe wishful thinking syndrome. 18 year olds have many choices .. the world is their oyster .. him, hmmm not so much (in that respect anyway) not nice to hear, but mostly true. too bad so sad ... :D | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:16:57 PM |
I wasn't saying that women are always the cause of ED, it was a joke... plain and simple. In fact, it wasn't even my joke. It was a stand up bit from Greg Giraldo.
Fine, fine, fine....I no longer wish to dissect "your" joke.....do you have any of your own material? If I can't get laid due to my advanced age, I might as well laugh.
Or drink....lol
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:18:00 PM | Why do you care?
I mean seriously, I see it on men's profiles, and it makes me laugh, roll my eyes, and think "loser!".
Who cares what some old dude thinks he wants. Let him get one and see what happens to him!
Funnier than fek! | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:29:45 PM | Well!
My grandfather married my grandmother when he was 52 and she was 18.
Why? Her father owed him money and my grandfather said he would forgive the debt if he could marry the daughter. Old Gus said yes and the deal was done.
My grandmother? Her brothers locked her up in her room until the wedding. When my grandfather came to collect her, she threw everything out the bedroom window at him..shoes, basin, vases, collectibles...they all went like missiles and she delighted in watching him dodging them all....while he was trying to reason with her. My grandmother...a feisty woman ahead of her time...
Their marriage? She had three kids with him (my mother being one) and she made sure he knew who was wearing the pants..and it was her. Him? He was enthralled by her until she died.
Go figure...eh? | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:36:36 PM |
Younger women tend to be much more understanding of an older guy, far more than guys their own age. Plus, older men have been young once. They know a lot of the problems. But they are only learning to deal with a lot of the problems that women their own age are grappling with. So it's easier for them to deal with a young woman.
Scorpio....I think you're confusing "understanding" for "oblivious"....And instead of "dealing" with their issues they somehow avoid them???...sounds like ESCAPISM to me...  | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:38:01 PM |
Who cares what some old dude thinks he wants. Let him get one and see what happens to him!
Billy Joel (60) and his wife, Katie Lee (27) have filed for divorce. I am not sure what could possibly have driven them apart (other than her alleged affair with a 36 year old hunk, and the huge age gap, and the fact that she apparently liked to go out and have fun, instead of hanging out at home with a guy more than twice her age).
Side note: Christie Brinkley is still looking pretty fine at 55. Apparently before they split, Joel used to call her "Wrinkly Brinkley".
I guess he got what he wanted. I wonder how young his next wife will be....she's probably still in grade school. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:39:07 PM | One of the unintended benefits (at least at first) of dating younger women is how much it pizzles the older ones when they see you together... Either older women are getting worse at hiding their anger or they're a whole lot angrier nowadays.. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:44:03 PM | | This maybe far fetched but,could she have a need for a 'daddy' or a sugar daddy and he is using her to boost his all to low ego? | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:28:52 PM | I agree these men are artificial and got an ego promblem.
The majority of 18 yr. olds do not have a lot of life experiences. When i was in my late 30s I was a non-traditional student in college, I went out with some 22 yr olds, then we started talking and they were very simplisitic and naive. I think it was my ego that made me date these young males and I think they thought they were going to get sex. They didn't get it. I learned I needed someone closer to my age or somone who has been around the world a few times. | |
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| She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:38:21 PM | RE Msg: 71 by Arabianangel:
Younger women tend to be much more understanding of an older guy, far more than guys their own age. Plus, older men have been young once. They know a lot of the problems. But they are only learning to deal with a lot of the problems that women their own age are grappling with. So it's easier for them to deal with a young woman. Scorpio....I think you're confusing "understanding" for "oblivious"....And instead of "dealing" with their issues they somehow avoid them???...sounds like ESCAPISM to me...
However, guys just have a different way of dealing with things. Guys grow up being expected to be "strong", to handle their problems themselves. When they don't, they're called weak. Weak men are considered incompetent. Incompetent men are considered incapable to doing something even halfway successfully, and that if they did something right, it's entirely due to others, and they aren't entitled to any recompense for what they achieved.
As a result, when a man does something truly amazing, if he doesn't make sure that everyone knows (or at least thinks) that it was because of what he did, they don't value him, and he gets paid a pittance. Conversely, if a man makes out that he's really brilliant at things, then he gets paid well, even if what he did was really not all that. Men get paid according to their level of confidence, not so much what they do. The same is true of dating, and relationships, and of most things in life. Men are far more successful when they are brimming with confidence, even if they are just not that great a date, and if they lack confidence, then even if they are an amazing guy, they hardly get dates.
So men NEED to boost their confidence all the time, just to get paid well, and just to succeed in life.
Nagging and criticism really knock a man's ego, especially when it comes from the one woman who is supposed to know him better than anyone else, so her opinion is the most accurate in his mind, who is supposed to love him the most, because if she doesn't believe in him, then who else will? and who is supposed to support him the most, because if he cannot get her to back him up when he needs it, then who else will?
The saying "behind every good man is a good woman", really means "a man's success in OUR society is almost totally dependent on his self-esteem, and a "good woman" is a woman who knows that, and who does her level best to ensure that his self-esteem is top notch, because if he has good self-esteem, he'll be a great man, and if he has low self-esteem, he'll get beaten down by society.
Young women tend to be more optimistic about relationships, and tend to be more optimistic that their man is really good inside, and is really capable of great success. Such an attitude helps a man to succeed.
Mature women seem to me, tend to have a much lower opinion of most men, and tend to use that as a basis for judging their own man. When they express that, they're criticising him, and the more respect he has for her, the more he values her opinion, and the more that knocks his self-esteem, which makes him even less successful, which lowers her opinion of him even more, and thus makes for a vicious increasing cycle of lower and lower self-esteem, with less and less success.
Many young AND mature women are BOTH naive, because both seem to think that it matters to be objective with men. It doesn't at all. Praise and criticism are subjective criteria for men, that are simply mechanisms for achieving success or failure. The woman chooses how successful her man is, simply by how much self-esteem he has. When a man gets too****, and starts listening to himself TOO much, and not to others, it's time for a little hard criticism, just to break him a tiny bit, so he'll become a little open to listening to what he needs to do to succeed.
BUT, a man isn't good at being told what to do, because he's taught from a young age, that he must do everything himself. So when he's subservient, he's only subservient when he thinks he cannot do it himself, and that's only when he feels that he's incompetent, and then he feels and acts incompetent in ALL areas of his life, especially work. But in work, he IS expected to do it himself, so he screws up, and gets paid a pittance.
A man needs to be praised and criticised and helped to see moral values, until he believes in himself, but also believes that he should consider his partner's opinions in decisions that affect them both. THEN, when he has a decision to make, he'll seek her opinion on his own, but will still have the confidence to believe that he can carry it through on his own, if need be.
Granted, that seems quite a skill. But that's a role most men are forced to accept on themselves since almost the day they are born. By the time you've gone on a date with them, they're very skilled at it, and if they aren't, they are often a failure at many things, and they'd probably not be the sort of person you'd end up dating.
Many women used to understand this. Maybe not quite in such detailed psychology, but they basically understood it. They would use this to make their men become successful, and to treat them nicer at the same time.
Feminism changed all that. Now, many women consider this pandering to a man's ego. But that attitude is just destroying the confidence they need to get on in the world and be a success. Feminism was a good thing. It just only looked at what women needed to change, and didn't look at the whole picture, so when the picture added more pink, it was just splashed everywhere, and the painting of relationships lost much of its original beauty.
Now, given the choice, the best woman is the woman who understands WHY it's important not to run a man down too often, and how to use his ego for both of their benefits. But failing that, the next best thing is a woman who has a lot of respect for a man, and keeps his ego high, because a man who is overconfident might have problems, but he'll get paid. A guy who is with a woman who is often criticising and nagging him, is far too often lacking in confidence, and a guy who is lacking in confidence, will not get paid more than a pittance, less even than his costs. | |
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