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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:33:33 PM | I don't understand why each person doesn't just learn to cook for themselves...
Fine, I understand if maybe your parent(s) were too busy to teach you when you're young, but at some point in your life don't you ask yourself "boy, it'd be useful to know how to feed myself?"
It's not that hard.
A lot of people are just simply lazy. That's all there is to it. Why work when you can make someone else do it?
It's retarded. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:51:27 AM | "Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? "
In short, because many men have had a woman cooking for them their entire lives so it is a norm for them. they're either too lazy to cook or don't know how or at least not very well.
Personally I've lived alone and I'd rather eat healthy good tasting food rather than fast food so I have no choice but to cook or starve. In a relationship I would still cook though.
If both in a couple are working, then both should share the cleaning. If only one in the couple is working, then the non working one should clean with the stipulation of the working one at least picking up after themselves and lending a hand sometimes. I think this is fair enough. If the working one is doing the work and all the cleaning, they're going to feel cheated and like the other isn't handling their responsibility and rightly so.
I gotta admit, cooking and cleaning doesn't even pop into my head when thinking about what I want in a SO. but at least knowing how to cook is a definite plus.
woman have done the cooking and cleaning while men hunted and gathered (aka brought home the bacon) for thousands of years. It's a die hard. Most likely these men are just following examples of what their own families were like when growing up. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:37:11 AM | I'm a little late to dive into this topic, but it's too fun NOT to answer:
As a refined 21st century male, I always strive to be completely self-sufficient, therefore I do not desire any person to do chores for me. Therefore a woman's ability to cook/clean does little for me aside from being a side perk on occasion. However a woman's INABILITY to cook/clean sends up a huge red flag for me, not because I expect them to take care of me, but because that may imply that they're incapable of taking care of themselves without spending a fortune (which in the future, could turn out to be a part of MY fortune).
In dating women of my generation I have noticed a sharp decline in the number of women that are actually able to COOK, and by cook, I mean the "preparation of food via heat". I know plenty of girls that can whip up a killer salad, but ask them to boil, saute, braise, grill, bake or whatever and their eyes glaze over and they ask if they can just go out to eat instead or order take-out.
I personally don't care when it's the occasional date, but I work with women my age that eat out 7 days a week, and the only thing they make at home is cereal in the morning. In my mind it lowers them as a potential mate as dining out is always more expensive than dining in, and I don't like my future $$$ wasted daily in such a frivolous fashion if I can help it.
FYI I spend $50-70 a week on groceries. My friends, male and female that eat lunch out five days a week at an average $7-10 have already spent $35-50 a week on lunch ALONE. So for me, the cooking issue is a numbers game.
On the topic of cleaning, once again I never understood why this work was hoisted on women when men have the greater upper body strength and longer reach, allowing us to scrub/scour things that much cleaner. Maybe I'm a little OCD, but I can't let anyone touch my dishes or do my housecleaning because I generally find them too lazy to do it properly. My mom always used to improperly rinse dishes, leaving soap residue in glasses (which I often wound up tasting, to the point I'm now eternally programmed to scan every glass I pick up).
Similarly I've watched past girlfriends try to wash my dishes - sometimes I stop them before they even start, other times they've sneaked past me and done them, with a content glee on their face of accomplishment. Little did they know that I usually re-washed at least half of them to my satisfaction after they left...    | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:44:06 AM |
"Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men? "
Well, it's not to me...
I can out cook most women. I can cook almost anything... and I'm not talking just on a BBQ either... I can cook anything from a gourmet meal to a clone of fast food stuff... Chinese, Seafood, you name it...
And to be honest, most women make more mess than they clean... | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:39:37 AM | | It amazed me how little my life changed when my ex moved out. He never did anything anyway, I did it all - cleaning, cooking, child care. It is actually less work to have him gone. Take on a new one like that? No thanks! My "personal slave" days are over. And yes, I worked full time too. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:23:44 AM | | hey watch your mouth..lol.. Im the kind of guy who love to cook and clean.. My mom taught me quite well.. Not only do I cook and clean, but I do laundry, sew, bake and clean the hell out of bathroom and stove.. So Im not a slob.. Im a woman dream.. but you know even with those skills you cant make a woman happy..lol | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:29:27 AM | I fall in between being a neat freak and organizer lover. I do not love to clean, but I hate chaos, so I must maintain order! LOL Now cooking, I love to cook! Hand me those old recipes for pasteles, borscht, espresso brownies, and paprikascholoten! | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:31:41 PM | What I miss most about being able to stay at home is the act of creating a "home"...
I miss making those special meals and not having to worry over where I'll get the next few dollars to pay the bills. I miss being able to spend real quality time with my children without being frenzied because I have a zillion things to take care of at the same time. I miss not having to multitask beyond laundry and dishes or balancing the checkbook and changing a diaper.
I miss being able to do things for the community because I could, because I wanted to instead of having to work at a paying job in order to put food on the table for my family.
I miss crocheting, sewing, drawing, painting...and all those things that allowed me to feel free.
But I don't miss being unappreciated because those things don't bring in a paycheck. I don't miss being told that because I was a stay-at-home mom and a homemaker that I wasn't towing a financial line.
I think I'm a great cook. And I know how to keep a house clean.
I just don't have time anymore for either most days. I do miss the simplicity of it though.
OH well... | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:08:04 AM | I know that cooking and cleaning aren't everything, but they shouldn't be completely dismissed either IMO. The pendulum has swung too far the other way. That's sad, especially because I see fewer dresses and too many pants. Call me a caveman all you want. Just send me a cavewoman. Now that is sexy :-D
PS: I can cook and clean very well and I like to do both. Plus I can work on cars and am more than very capable on home projects :-p | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:10:41 AM | | i have no idea, OP. i can cook & clean for myself. i was an enlisted man, and unless i'm back in the Marine Corps, i don't like to bark orders to anyone. if being a slob is who you are, then RIGHT ON! If all you can cook is a bowl of cereal or microwave pancakes, right on! | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:28:15 AM | If I can be brutally honest, in this huge list of responses, READ the guy maybe 10 posts above my post, named Tiger Woods something with numbers. His post sums up just about everything I was going to say.
This 'new age' chick and guy thing (supposed to rhyme, but I'm trying not to be crude here) sends up a lot of red flags. Every movie thats been out in the last, what, decade? Century? Is about chicks having trouble deciding between a few guys, and them all pining for her simple affection. The guys cook meals, work all day, buy gifts, etc. and the 'winner' is the guy who gets the girl.
In reality, thats a crappy move playing 2 or 3 guys at once, don't you think? But the majority of girls that watch it begin to EXPECT it. Not knowing how to cook or clean is a bad sign because of the fact that I can, and believe me, I'm as far from a 'house' person as can be, and so if somebody else hasn't picked up the basics, or isn't intelligent enough to figure it out, I'm not interested (always exceptions, but exceptions are just that: exceptions to the rule). | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:15:21 AM | To me it's not that important that a woman can cook and clean.
What is important is that you can take care of yourself.
I have a married friend who does the household laundry. But he does that because he is picky about the way his clothes are done. He works early and his wife works late. He will pick up their son in the afternoon. She doesn't get home sometimes until 7PM and he will say "hi, what's for dinner". It amazes me that she hasn't let him starve! What also amazes me is that he doesn't see a problem with acting like this!
I would enjoy a woman who likes to cook, simply because that is something else we could do together! For me, I'm looking for a parner, not someone to take care of me, or someone I have to take care of. I already have that t-shirt. lol | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:58:49 PM | | This is for the men that have remarked that it is because their mother's have cooked and cleaned for them. Well, so has my mother did it for me, I still dont expect anyone to pick up my slack! | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:53:03 PM | "Because God said so"... LOL! Good one, Punch Drunk Love. You are being sarcastic, aren't you???
Another vote for no a big deal to me. As long as she doesn't leave messes she expects me to clean up... | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:16:44 AM | Maybe because we're tired of women who can't cook and clean.
My mom was raised on a farm and knew how to plant and harvest crops, milk cows, etc. She didn't teach those skills to us because she wanted a 'better' and 'easier' life for us. Now that we have microwaves and fast-food restaurants out of the wazoo, mothers don't teach their daughters how to cook. This is true in other places besides North America and Western Europe as well.
However, there are still places in North America where the nearest fast-food restaurant is an hour or two away. Their local grocery store doesn't stock up a lot of microwaveable food. So these women learn how to cook by necessity and do it well. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:14:29 PM | | It's not. I'm still amazed when I hear comments like this in person or online. If they need household help, they just hire it. If they can't hire it, they just leave it if they can't or don't want to do it. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:45:58 PM | Dating aside its a sad state of affairs if your grown and dont know how to freaking cook! Good god didn't anyones momma teach you how to cook? My mom had me helping out in the kitchen since I can remember. She also taught me a thing or three in my early twenties when I was first living on my own and living on Top Ramen. Because of her, and various jobs I have had I now have kitchen skills. I'm not a Chef but I can prepare nutrious healthy meals that have flavor. I don't know about you but most of my guy friends cook for me and they are pretty slamming at it too.
Although this is not 1955, some men are serious old school and want to keep it that way. Ok fine but there are later generations that don't mind sharing the duties. Most of my friends husbands that I grew up with did the "wifey" work while their wives ( my friends) made the money. There hubbys cooked, cleaned, took the kids to kindergym,the park, and to Noahs for a bagel and orange juice. Oh yeah and changed pampers, and went on "play dates". The whole nine yards!!
I think everyone men and woman included should know how to cook and clean. For themselves if anything. I will cook for people I love and care for and I will keep a clean house cause Im a clean freak anyway and I cant stand a messy house. But thats my own standard. Of course the guy will have to help me out as well. If he cooks Ill clean the dishes, If I cook he cleans the dishes and hauls out the trash....... tit for tat!
Men who want a woman to cook and clean are from the old school while some are just chavanistics pigs. Either way its upbringing, culture for the most part.
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:00:19 AM | I adore my boyfriend, but there is no way in this world he is getting into my kitchen.He has insane ideas about fat and salt and calories, and if I let him cook he would ruin everything out of fear that it w0uld be unhealthy. So, I do all the cooking, and yes, I make good, nutritious, healthy food for us, and I love doing it. I hate cleaning, though, and he knows it. So he helps me by taking the garbage out without ever being asked, picking up after himself, and making himself very useful when it's time to clean up. Thank goodness, because if it were up to me I'd say to hell with the dishes and curl up with him on the couch and watch a good movie!
Oh wait, we do that too!
Beth | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:25:45 AM | | I don't think it's that important with guys...at best maybe share the duties...I'm not good at either yet most guys I've dated are very domesticated...they were very good cooks and clean up...most guys actually enjoy cooking and are very tidy themselves. | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:11:58 AM | | Maybe it is typical stereo type thing or general expectation? I’m only a fair cook and like to keep things clean although I also do all the outside work, general maintenance on the vehicles and all the home repairs. I don’t think it would be too much in asking to share the responsibilities, do you? | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:46:11 PM | | I really admire and look for the skill of cooking because I enjoy cooking. In my generation (27 and under) I see so many people who cannot cook and don't know cleaning "tricks". When I see someone like this I have to wonder if they are either living uncleanly or used to mooching/buying their way out of it. A clean room and a plate of good wholesome food are two things that go a long way in making a house (or apt) feel like home. I don't factor sexism into it at all because I think everyone should be able to take care of themselves. There are definitely women AND men who take advantage of their partners for good food and/or chores. If any of my ex's could have cooked worth a damn instead of asking me to cook all the time I would have been much happier in those relationships. I'm not expecting souffle with a sommelier assisted wine choice but chicken brocolli alfredo on a clean plate is enough to make me happy! | |
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| Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 8/18/2009 4:29:09 PM | Over the past year, I've met a large number of guys who are mighty fine cooks. I, on the other hand, am useless with tools. I believe that we all have our strengths and weakness and we should accept each other as we are.
I firmly believe in 'compromise' and if he'll chop the veggies, I'll plan and coordinate the meal. On the other hand, I'll run the lawnmower if he'll deal with the weedwacker.
Doing stuff together can bring people together. Non?
MF | |
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