| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:18:13 AM | Ah come on CD….she might like to sit there and hand you the thingamabob and whatchamacallit while you are tinkering!
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:31:13 AM | If I like having someone around, I don't have a problem with him being anywhere with me as long he can behave himself and adapt to the enviroment. I have had BFs that want to spend time together but would dictate what we did. There were many Saturday afternoons I spent going to a really stupid movie or bottling beer while things I needed to do for my work or home didn't get done. It was all about doing THEIR projects and never about mine. But- I aimed to please : ) | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:49:03 AM | I think the bathroom is a given "off limits" ... I mean doesn't everyone need some nose-picking and butt-scratching time to themselves?
I personally don't require a lot of "alone" time but am not a big fan of hanging on my partner's every move either. I think two people can spend "personal" time just sitting in opposite ends of the house playing on their computers. Their partner is there but not joined at the hip.
My hairdresser time is so limited and so not dramatic that it would not bother me if he came along. Mostly I anticipate that it would go so fast that he'd have barely enough time to flip through 1/2 of a magazine while waiting for me to get my "do" perked up.
I have never been one to need time out playing with "the girls". My "girls are attached and I can get time with them anytime I want.
I'm just not a "serial" party person and don't need a herd of friends to go out with. When I go out dancing, it's organized Western Style Square Dancing and Cued Ballroom Dancing ... lots of friends there just out burning some calories and having fun while doing it. When I go out singing, it's organized Karaoke ... lots of friends there just out to strut their stuff. But if I were in a relationship, it would be activities that he would always be welcome at (hoping he will want to dance and sing too). It would be his choice to attend and if he didn't want to go, then he probably would have no grounds to complain.
I'm not sure I want to become too attached to a man who just has to go out with the guys all the time. Just my experience ... I've seen relationships like that and inevitably someone ends up getting totally left out and eventually it ends up in a break up.
For me ... it appears that the bathroom is the only "off limits" place I might have. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:05:19 PM | OP -oh my gawd(!) a man who would follow me to the beauty parlor would drive me
absolutely crazy....not because of what goes on there, but because it would demonstrate where he's coming from---and I wouldn't be havin' it, no-no-no (!)--
SO, that's one place that would be off limits, for sure.
Partnership is not about being joined at the hip 24/7, for me, I really value my space to explore areas of life he doesn't have an interest in....but I also know we would be talking about all that or we wouldn't be doing the partners-thing | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:53:35 PM | 24/7 partnership? Ouch
I don't care who watches me slather on my makeup........
Restrooms totally off limits....unless were showering or bathing together.
Shopping for clothes off limits.....
Girl time off limits.......its my chance to groan and moan and talk about my figure, new clothes and catch up on girl gossip.
My hair....if someone wants to watch that along with the waxing....then they must be so bored they have nothing better to do.
On the other hand.....I won't intrude on
Man time.....
Sports, racing.....fishing, hunting.......unless they just want me to go.
I will save intermission during the playoffs.......for special things.
I won't bother them while they are working on there car.....boat, trailer
If they want to cook without me in the kitchen....dang the bad luck.
I am not a needy woman.....nor do I want a needy man........Cheers... | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:40:36 PM | | I think at this point in life, that kind of togetherness, the 24/7 kind woud drive me batty. I like being alone at times and there are times when I would far prefer he were not around such as the beauty parlor, shopping for clothes, girls' night out, or special moments with my two girls when they may need to talk only to me. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:57:42 AM | Are there really men that are so insecure that they have to do everything with there S/O husband, boyfriend ? That would drive me nuts if I had a woman like that .
I do think we all differ on whats off bounds. I have went shopping with my girlfriend when I had one. It was not a regular thing, but she wanted to shop for a fancy dress and wanted my opinion. I enjoyed it but would not want to do it on a regular basis. Bathroom time should be off limits, unless someone wants you to join them . Girls night out ? no problem . If there is a program on tv or a movie you want to watch and I am not into it, fine I will use the other tv or read a book. Doctors appointment ? If you want me there I'm there either in the waiting room or the exam room if you want me there . Now if I am in for a yearly prostrat check , maybe you ought to wait in the waiting room LOL Steve | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:34:44 AM | | Wednesday afternoon and Saturday morning golf with the guys....they would never let me live that down...oh...and guys weekend on Block Island...it's in the travel manual | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/19/2009 1:22:55 PM |
Are there really men that are so insecure that they have to do everything with there S/O husband, boyfriend ? Yeah, I'm sure somewhere there are some gay couples like that.
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/19/2009 1:35:33 PM | If I'm having some retail therapy then I prefer to do it by myself so that I don't have someone nearby looking at the watch, yawning, pointing out stuff that is not interesting and in any other way distracting me from my own enjoyment. My personal rule is that one does not shop with men or children (unless shopping for them or needing help loading supplies into vehicle).
I probably would not like male company at the salon either. But it is cute when the little old men come in to pick up the little old ladies! Now that would be nice! | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/19/2009 7:14:38 PM | | shopping for clothes/shoes, hate it when they hang around looking at their watches. i usually walk out of the shop and leave them behind. prefer to go alone. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 1:21:07 AM | i cannot even imagine a man insisting on accompanying me to the beauty parlor. boundaries vary. i just wrap my modus operandi around the concept of interdependence versus codependence. doesn't this man have something to do? if i was followed around to that level of interference, my skin would crawl. of course, in doing something together, you may each bop along into the other's shopping spree or whatever, but that would be with a mutual goal in mind. what was "his" goal?
a list? who knows, it would depend on the person, the day, the detail, the context and the rest of the relationship. the bathroom? knock first and i'll decide depending upon what i am doing in it! we have two bathrooms here, so not an issue. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:22:29 AM | | I've got one of those men that has to be with me 24/7, with the exception of when I go to work. And with him, it is because of some major insecurity issues ... insecurity with a tad bit of control freak thrown in. Living with someone like that is a very isolating experience, I tell ya. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:36:23 AM |
Are there really men that are so insecure that they have to do everything with there S/O husband, boyfriend ? That would drive me nuts if I had a woman like that .
There are indeed. Some men and some women, too, think for some reason it's an essential part of a relationship. They end up with no 'his' friends, no 'her' friends, just 'our' friends. And interests, and things they do. He likes bowling? She's right there watching. She likes golf? He's carrying her clubs, or driving the cart. It's all very nice to share some things, but all that 24/7 stuff would drive me up a wall in a heartbeat. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:44:51 AM | This is a post I can relate to lol One guy said Fabric Shops are somehting to be done in private LMAO  now theres a place Id need to go ALONE !!!lol i DONT SEW SOOOOO I guess I missed the point !!!!!! but all this togtherness is driving me crazy I have it now as we speak...get a life!!!I enjoy doing alot alone..I like and enjoy my own company and yes as one lady says makes a man feel a little nervous Oh come on...we all NEED to be alone at times and theres times we WANT to be simese twins but getting your hair done pleeeeeeeeeease...a man and a woman need theri own space and clinging can drive a person to drink   its unhealthy!!!!mr and mrs jones isnt somehting this woman wants... | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:07:27 AM | | My pants are off limits. I'm the only one allowed in them. If she tried to get in my pants I would get hysterical and accuse her of not respecting my mind. She could have at me if I was wearing a bathrobe. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:55:05 AM | One of the things that used to really bother me major in my last relationship many years ago..
He would insist of going everywhere I was going...my private time..
There is a difference between someone insisting on going everywhere I go and me (or him) having our private time. I have always valued my private time. Once, when I was in my 20's, a boyfriend and I traveled around Europe for 6 months...first time in my life I was with another person pretty much 24/7. He must have been an absolute paragon, because we managed fine and even grew much closer during that time. Even then, though, we took some time away from each other....him going off to have a beer in the pub, me sitting in the park reading a book. Love is wonderful, being with your best friend all you want is wonderful. Even so, 24/7 joined at the hip: not so wonderful.
I don't know that I have any off limits places (except bathroom privacy)--can't think of any. But most men do not want to accompany me to the hairdresser or fabric store or most kinds of shopping. For some odd reason they like to go to the lingerie store though....what's that about?  | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:21:48 PM | | hi... in a marriage no limits, for me anyway...all relationships generally start off with limits and when they progress to a point where there are few limits I imagine this is when it becomes comfortable and serious... blessings | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:56:31 PM | Unlike a lot of men, my BF really likes to go shopping with me and I quite like it when he comes along. He has excellent taste and enjoys helping me pick out clothes and likes to watch me try them on. He’s fully supportive whenever I need a little retail therapy and always insists on carrying the bags. And yes, I do finance my own shopping expeditions, unless there’s a special reason 
The only place we both consider off limits is the bathroom, when the door is closed. It’s closed for a reason!
Everything and everywhere else is negotiable. There are many activities that we both do and places we go without each other, but that’s because the other doesn’t share those interests, not because they would be unwelcome. But more often than not, we choose to do the things that we both enjoy because we really like being together. | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:41:41 PM | Thursday night is off limits - LOST is on - don't bother me
hey, don't you judge me | |
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| This place is off limits
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:01:18 PM | | Actually, I'm hard pressed to figure out anything that is off-limits to me in a relationship. If I need alone time, I would just request it and expect it to be honoured. It would be set on my mood and not some "rule". | |
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