| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:29:02 AM | When you talk to someone......
And it's always SOMETHING!
It's either a pity party......
Or there's always a crisis to resolve..........
I'm sorry, but it gets old.
Except for my cousin.
He's a Pisces and LIVES and feeds off drama.
I'd attempt to keep it low key or positive as much as possible.
But to some people, that's just impossible.
And I don't need that in my life. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:38:46 AM | I think the term "No Drama" is an horrible phrase. It is ill defined, thus your question. It is also very negative (obviously). I really think that most people who use that phrase really mean that they are looking for someone who is "Socially Mature", which I define as someone who has a clear understanding of who they are and what they want. This person is self-sufficient, knows how to deal with common every day problems and is emotionally, socially, and financially stable.
There is also an innate caution that men have with dating someone past their 30's. The first question that comes to mind is "Why is this person single?" If they have not been in a long term relationship, why? If they have, why did it not work out? Unfortunately, those questions are assumed when the person says that they do not want any "Drama". I think if a woman can give rational answers to those questions then the "Drama" issue will be put to rest.
Cheers! | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:29:52 AM | | Most reasonable people (men, women, whatever age) prefer not to be whacked upside the head with the past no matter who it belongs to. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:02:42 AM | It's a sad simple fact that men will put up with a lot of shit from a woman if she happens to be really hot.
It is also a sad simple fact that women generally aren't as hot in their 30's as they were in their 20's.
So as they, and we, get older, the amount of shit we are willing to put up with goes down quite a bit.
Basically it boils down to 'News flash, you are no longer hot enough for me to put up with all your bullshit, so knock it off or I am gone!' | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:13:38 AM | uh.No. that last post is a bit annal.
as it seems to speak on behalf of men.
First. me personaly cant stand ladies under 30.
I can't stand a thing they say do or wear.
So being Less hot as they get older.. dude ..really what are you 16?
now.. Me personaly, Drama, your "feelings".. alot of I'll say Traditional traits of women.
Tire my brainout.
Drama seems to be fed by your feelings. sad sad effect. as the more you dwel on something those feelings make it drag onmore and more. frankly.. I cant handle it.
Talking about every single thought to enter your heads... sigh.
Most men do not talk alot.
Most men use talking as a form of fact getting. Not fact probing.
We dont use our words base on feelings as it is based on getting information.
Our minds do not over think things.
Myself.. If I am "happy" or content. I am not trying to figure out why I feel happy or content. My mind is a blissfull blank Happy or content state.
As I sit there in that state.. Hearing"what ya thinking" is going to .. if anything aggrivate my tiny mind.
As now I have to think of somthing when just second s ago NOT A SINGLE thought was inmy head.
I will answer "nothing"
But that's not good enuff.
Ladies seem to NEED a reason for feeling a certain way. Men.. not so much.
This alone leads to MANY diferances that split up into Drama baggage so on and what not.
Men tend to Let things Go.
Woman tend to hang onto things.
What ladies don not know.. wehn a man hangs onto something it is becuase it takes a LOT more for a man to get into his "feelings". If he does connect with his feelings with a lady, then she.. betrays trust or whatever happens where they do not talk or spend time with each other "break up"
Then it can be aLONG time before he gets into his "feelings" again.
But .. won't have bagage, no drama. Just a well learnt lesson Not to be so quik next time.
and that's not even based on feelings as it is a LESSON. to a man.. ( well myslef) it is more like the same lesson about not stiking your hand into a spinning machine.
Not cause of the pain, but cause something bad will happen.
Drama bagage, and all.. is a moving machine. We may be not so talkative or connected to our emotions But we learn quikly | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:30:22 AM | | There's always going to be drama, no matter how you look at things, it's life, life is drama. It's just a matter of to what extent. My biggest issue is that the same people who claim to not want "drama" in their lives are generally the ones that create the biggest ones of all. If you keep open communication and be consistent about what is and or isn't expected and talk things through, most of the time, big drama can be avoided. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:30:20 AM | | It is so very amusing to see how a woman would rather live in solitude than NOT be an unbearable kunt. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:24:38 PM | There are two types of people in the world. The people who understand exactly what "Drama" is... And those who cause it. 
If you don't agree, guess which one you are? 
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:20:37 PM | When a guy says Drama Free:
this is what they mean:
Drama free means, start fresh with them, keep it low key. They don't want everyone up in your guys personal business. At the same time, they don't want to much baggage...don't tell them about your exes.. they don't care. Everyone has baggage....but... don't let it get in the way of starting fresh with them.. and woman who have babies daddys can tend to cause men drama.. not because of their kids... its the baby daddy... They don't want to have to go punch them out lol.. because woman are emotional guys are physical...so before you get involved with them.. if you have a child.. make sure you and your baby daddy have had closure... men do not like those kind of surprises.. at their door stepss.. and i'm sure a lot have encountered it.. ! and don't be overly obsessive.. to the point you push them away... you can play hard to get lol... let them get to know you... most are to grown to chase..you... lol or fight....so don't expect it either........i don't think that those things are too much for a girl to do for a man.. am i right guys? this is what drama is lol.. and also don't cuss them out ****ing every day.. because they missed one lol.........thats why they left their ex.. don't let them do it to you too. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:26:59 PM | Simply put OP, when guys say they don't want drama, they have recognized that life is too short for it by age 30. What you stated in your last paragraph illuminates much of what I've always thought about both genders. As I've stated before, women and men both desire respect, but we interpret disrespect differently. A man who views you as a booty call isn't showing you respect, but a woman who is always trying to change a man so that he conforms to her ideal of what he should be isn't according respect, either. A lot of women don't recognize this throughout their lives and then wonder why they remain single or cannot maintain a functional relationship.
If you probe my profile, I clearly state that I have no tolerance for drama queens or women who try to mould me. I wrote this as a result of my last relationship which wasn't great since my last gf was guilty of being a drama queen and constantly trying to change me. I also note that some posters confuse baggage with drama, but they are indeed seperate. Everybody acquires baggage regardless of marital status or dating history; not everyone harbors drama. I grew fatigued with the litany of apologies that were exchanged so often that we couldn't assign any real meaning to them; I got tired of her constant need for emotional validation. She once remarked that I was supposed to make her feel better. Ok, but since when would lying to her aid her? The only reason I'm rehashing this is because I'm trying to give you a reference point---nothing more, nothing less. I don't think I'm requesting much, but sometimes I figure I'm asking for something exorbitant. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:34:19 PM |
It is so very amusing to see how a woman would rather live in solitude than NOT be an unbearable kunt.
being as the thread wants an example of drama. this would be example of what causes drama.
on a personal note..however that's a bit over the top bro. you know a smart women is going to read that when she looks at you profile right? you women arnt by nature evil they are just different.
wtf... lets see if this posts then i have to call timewarner | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:55:58 PM | well its not just men who are drama shy ,
women are aswell
sometimes when you meet a guy in the first half an hour he tells you about the b***h of a girlfriend who cheated on him or how nuts she was and dont get started on her mother .
why cant men and women get over their past relationships and move the hell on !!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:42:48 PM | | ^^^^because we dont talk about it. it becomes a dirty little secret and the issue from the 1st bad relationship just keep coming up in the later relationships . nobody ever wants to admit they might have been wrong so we blame the other person. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:38:53 PM | I don't know if it is limited to just guys over 30, but I'll throw in some reasons for you.
Because we don't want to come home after a hard day's work to a nagging b*tch.
Because we'd like to focus on what can change, not on the past.
Because we want a peaceful and chemically balanced partner.
Because we want to have fun with you but your whining and moaning gets in the way.
Because we're with you to start fresh on a bold new adventure.
Because we don't have drama/baggage, is it wrong to want the same? | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:42:02 PM | women do the same thing; it's not a gender thing.
To me people that say they don't want drama have been through a lot of it and they also dont' want something too heavy. Any intense relationship has drama. No matter what. Some good, some bad.
If someone says they want a drama free relationship, in my mind they are not into putting any time of effort into the relationship being a lasting one. They also want just fun. I kind of move on from people like that. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:11:37 PM | Haha well well well I left for a day and come back and all yall have been doing WONDERFULLY at giving me your opinions, both expert and thoughtless - but welcomed just the same.
I would like to say at this juncture that I feel like I have been really blessed the more I read about how so many women complain about bad prior relationships - maybe its about attitude or interpretation - I am not sure - but I just dont harbour ill feelings about any of my previous relationships. I cannot say I dont miss parts of those relationships from time to time, because there were some really great times, but I just cant imagine sitting talking about what a loser I chose, or how he did me so wrong, or whatever it is that these "whiners" allegedly say to you men who claim this. Good or bad, the relationship lasted for a time with good reason, and ended with good reason, time to carry on.
I did notice that a couple of the men made rather derrogatory and demeaning comments about women in their explanation - I suspect that if you have a woman who is constantly unhappy, complaining, or whining - maybe you just arent doing it for her and she needs a different man. I also suggest that if she is someone whom you would describe as a "nagging b***ch" maybe if you did what she asked of you the first time she wouldnt have to nag you about it?? Might help cut down on the nagging right?
Then there was the gentleman who stated something about over 30 you arent hot enough for us to put up with as much as we would when you are in your 20's - well ... no surprise that guy is here, I hope whoever reads his profile also has the opportunity to read his response on this forum. It just OOZES with lack of respect for women in general, of all ages, and strikes me as a really callous type guy who would never consider putting ice water on the night stand for a lady all on his own.
There was even a woman on here commenting about people's baby daddy's .. I wonder if ex husbands fit into that mold as well - or is that just something that goes along with the baby mama syndrome? Just curious about her interpretation is all.
Last there were some really positive answers with some great feedback - drama is interpreted in many different ways I see - and means different things to different people.
As I suspected - all of this is something one needs to decide during their "selection process" - maybe if men werent so afraid to be friends with a woman (that is apparently some no win category that many men dread - totally wrong on that if you ask me) but if they truly did become a woman's friend first - they would see her at her best, and her worst BEFORE they got into something serious that they felt they couldnt get out of easily.
As one of the posters said - mutal respect goes a long way - and should be a requirement of EVERY relationship in our lives. Where there is no respect there never will be love, at least not the kind of love I am in interested in - but that is just my opinion.
Keep the commentary up - I am really enjoying this - thanks to all. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:12:07 PM | OK, I just have to respond to this! Aren't all of you over 30? Haven't all of you had previous relationships? Doesn't that color all your subsequent relationships? For Christ's sake can't we all stop making the past a rigid marker for everything else?
Drama is exaggerating everything to be an emotional overload....... baggage is what we all carry from our lives. Everyone has baggage.
If you want acompletely "baggage free" relationship", get yourself a little 20 year old. Oh, wait, ..... she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years when she was 19 !!!! That carries a lot of "baggage". Damn!!!! ....... Guess ya can't have a relationship with anyone!!!!! Give me a break people!!!! Most folks are good people looking for a good relationship!!
Everybody grow up and realize that we are all just people looking for a connection with someone that will last through time..... not through good times or tough times..... just through time. Just my 2 cents.....
Ed | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:23:18 AM | Poster # 42, while I can somewhat see where you're coming from, I disagree with your assertion that people who desire a drama free relationship aren't serious about one in the first place. Ask yourself this: does any relationship or family life deserve to feel uneasy? When there is a plethora of drama in a relationship, it indicates to me that there is a need to placate, which also tells me that one party is giving while the other isn't reciprocating. Women and men are both guilty of this.
On the other hand, I agree with what you said about people who just want to have fun. I know a lady who once remarked that despite everything else about her ex husband, he was fun, and that she never laughed so hard in her life than while they were together. If that's all he provided, then there wasn't much substance to the marriage, and probably explains why the divorce was amiable. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:02:04 AM | Drama is fine to some extent. But I think most drama can be summed up by men is thinking women are nuts. Alot of time its just dealing with the emotional swing.
My example, Was suppose to go to a Xmas party, my kid had a B-day party the next day that I had to take him to. Told her I didn't want to be out too late.Next thing I know I'm being ****ed at about how it was planned a month ago and your trying to get out of being with her friends and etc. I decided to let her dig that hole of ****in. I didn't get a word in edge wise and decided screw it. She never asked what time "too Late" was before she flew of the handle. the time would have been midnight or 1 o'clock. I told her that the next day, of course that start round 2 which ended everything. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:30:10 AM | | We all have a bit ig baggage. But there is a world of difference between having some carry on and needing a skycap. | |
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:54:11 AM | We all have a bit ig baggage. But there is a world of difference between having some carry on and needing a skycap.
Exactly!
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| Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:49:40 AM | There's a difference between having baggage...........
And your baggage always being a source of crisis! | |
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