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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 76
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?

I've not done the asking for a first date ~ and I won't be doing so in the future. Just isn't what I'm about. Hasn't seemed to hinder my social life when I want one, so it must've been OK with those I have dated in the past. JMO
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 77
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 1:16:13 AM
never saw it happen until I started going to the bars and clubs with my Russian friends.
The Ukrainian girls are fearless. Walk in the door, and its like fresh meat on sale. Helps that I am new to the circle of patrons, and that I speak the language, but damn talk about a bizarro situation.
Its a topsy turvy world, and I welcome the change.
 944man
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 78
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 5:11:00 AM
Better question is how many guys on here have been asked out other than on POF. Think i'll do a poll at work today and ask. Even though many women on here say they have i would bet overall it doesn't happen much. I'll report later.
 canadianguy976
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 79
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 11:36:27 AM

Better question is how many guys on here have been asked out other than on POF. Think i'll do a poll


I've been asked out by girls over 10 times in person. Ironically, on POF where it's a lot easier, I've only been asked out once. When I was single, I went out with every single girl that asked me out and got to know her, got into serious relationships with four of them, one being my current girlfriend, and the girlfriend before that.

That all said, I do wonder why women are afraid to ask guys out here on POF. I've seen women's inboxes (friends have shown me) the over the top spewing drivel that floods their inbox, way overboard romantic poetry before communication has ever been established, crass crap like "want to come over to my place and stay the night U R hot", and bizarre illiterate requests for dates that are barely understandable. You'd think that they'd just get to a point where they would auto delete everything inbound unsolicited and only worry about the responses they got from guys they actually contacted themselves.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 80
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 12:22:19 PM
in response to CANADIANGUY...I'm about equal or with POF and IRL. I do have to say that when in comes to women straight up asking " Will you go out with me?" That has only happened IRL. On POF and IRL it's much more common for them to show interest, initiate contact and make it obvious that they want to go out. Women are much more protective of being rejected than they expect men to be.

I've also noticed that when women do get rejected they have more extreme reactions than they allow men to have...they either call names like "homo", try to insult you or go the other extreme and get real pushy/creepy and won't take no for an answer!

..Yet you hear women complain all the time about men calling them b!tches and lesbians or not giving up gracefully.

It's funny how many double standards there are between the sexes!

It seems they as a whole only want equality when it benefits them....I've seen the more devout women's libbers demand/expect chivalry and the most non womens libbers complain about glass ceilings and the good ole boy network. ...And I've seen both use sex or the threat of sexual harassment to get what they want....oh gosh....I'm sorry! I got way off topic here.
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 81
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 2:22:52 PM
canadianguy976,

For your poll:
IRL: never POF: 3 times (never actually shown at the meet) Other online: never

I too have seen female friends' inboxes and wonder why they still have profiles. It was exactly like you mentioned. I'll also add that about half the guy's would send pictures with wedding rings on. Most of the other guys they were contacted by eventually admitted to being separated/married. I kind of felt bad for them, seeing as how they would get so many emails like this, but on the other sites I get countless emails from Russia and Nigeria---"You mine handsome soulmate for complete me."
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 82
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/28/2010 2:56:27 PM


"For your poll:
IRL: never POF: 3 times (never actually shown at the meet) Other online: never"


Sounds similar to my record.

IRL: Thrice
Online: Once

I wish that I had the luxury of being able to choose whether not to initiate conversations AND still be able to get dates on a regular basis. Unfortunately, that's not how the world works for the super-majority of us men.

This kind of reminds me of the days of Prom and Sadie Hawkins dances. When it came to prom, you would see couples all over the place, but with Sadie Hawkins, you would see a few sparse couples, and a lot of all girl-groups. I've never seen a bunch of all-guy groups at the Prom.

Is the idea of rejection THAT devastating for women?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 83
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 10:23:04 AM

“The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.” Marlene Dietrich

This, of course, only applies if the woman is attractive to him. If she isn't, there's nothing on the planet that will make him want to pursue anything more than friendship. Of course, Marlene Dietrich probably didn't have any experience not being attractive to anyone, so she had no reference point for that when she made that statement.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 84
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 10:46:41 AM

Have you ever asked out a guy?


Nope. Never. I'm a pretty old fashioned chick when it comes down to dating, and I couldn't care less how much times have changed in dating and are still. I don't ask men out, regardless.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 85
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 12:15:39 PM
No, I have never asked out a guy!! LOL

On topic: For as long as I remember, most of the women I have dated was brought about wih normal social interaction. I have a very inviting personnality and am very social. So most women I have meet lthough normall day to day activities or among friends, after a few outings, it seems we end up in some corner or at a table together and eventually evolved.

I do have to say that most of the women who have actually asked me out, I did not feel attraction for, otherwise I would have already shown my interest. It's not the fact that they asked me out. There have been women that out right asked my out that I thnk I would have pursued if I was not already seeing someone.(At this point, I wish I could get a do-over with some. LOL).
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 86
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 12:40:00 PM
I don't have hang-ups about asking a local guy out. There is no harm meeting someone over a pint of Guinness, is it?
Mature people can handle a pint and conversation.
 Archer82
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 87
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 1:11:10 PM
Lately, there have been a couple of guys that I want to ask out, and I am discovering just how intimidating the prospect is! These guys are friends that I've met through other friends, and we always talk and have a good time when we run into each other (or at least I do...LoL) but it is so difficult to figure out if just because a guy talks to you that means he is actually interested in you.

(And I guess men have this same issue with women).

It isn't that I am afraid of rejection...I just don't want to put the guy in the awkward position of having to say no to me. I also wouldn't want someone to say "Yes" just because they are too afraid to say "No" and hurt my feelings. And then I wouldn't want them to feel too uncomfortable around me to keep talking to me.

Argh!
 skirtsnboots
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 88
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 1:19:32 PM
Yeah I have ..one relationship lasted a year and the other nearly 14 years.
...but I think it's about time someone asked me out!
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 89
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/30/2010 2:16:21 PM
I would suspect that ALL men would agree with this but, guys do enjoy it when she makes a move to initiate something and NOT wait until he does it first.

Given today's society, the roles have changed and women can assert themselves more and more. This said, women should assert themselves to show the guy what they want. So what would make a woman change her mind and ask him out? The simple desire to become more up-to-date with today's society and live what it is guys have needed to do since the very beginning.

For myself, I know that there are some women that I no longer speak to simply because I ALWAYS had to make a move and contact them in order to speak or go out with them. If they were not ready to initiate contact with me then fine, I got sick and tired of needing to be the one who chased after them all the time.
 third_ronin
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 90
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/31/2010 9:13:43 PM
I love it when women do that, even if I may not be interested. Provided they are not**** (or obviously a whore), I think I have always found it attractive.

I once had an attractive young woman walk up to me, pull my cigar out of my mouth, and then take a puff. She smiled and returned it to my mouth, then walked away and gave me the old "come hither" look at the bar. Even my reptilian brain decided that this was a little too whorish (she looked the part, btw), so I shot her down. Then I had a whiskey, straight.

Then again, I had attractive young woman just walk up and strike up a conversation, and shortly thereafter she asked me out. I really dug the confidence, and the straightforwardness.

I hate games, pretenses, and don't have time for b.s., so for me it is usually a pleasant surprise to be asked out.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 91
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 5/31/2010 9:40:53 PM
"Have you ever asked out a guy?"
Yes
"How often do you do that?"
IRL: Occasionally; POF: 2x (enough for me with this site)
My relationships: 1/4 he initiated, 1/4 I initiated, 1/2 it was mutual
 Agauesurup
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 92
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/3/2010 9:40:20 PM
I have asked men out in the past, however shot down everytime, toke it well too (was disappointed, but lets me know they weren't my type) Regardless of my zero record I will probably try again.

I made a point of reading all the posts b/c I wanted to know what I could be doing wrong, so far, looks like I am doing it right, just with the wrong men.

That was all IRL, on POF , yes we get a lot of waist of time hits, so I have been initiating contacts. I don't just send "whaz up" and nothing as long as this, usually a good paragraph or two, on the humors side, being direct that I am interested, make sure I fit their criteria. Half are read, deleted. Others contact but keep putting off the meeting. After more than 2 months of writing back and forth I just say good by. I think a lot of men on here are married and looking for something on the side (just like IRL) or they can't live up to the photo they stole from someone.

I've only been active on this site since the begining of the summer and so far one date with someone who didn't really match his profile. Going to give it a go for a year maybe, then try something else, don't know what yet.

Thanks for starting this thread and the posts that give great insights.
 TravelingLight
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 93
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/3/2010 11:46:15 PM
Many of us guys love that. Women should try, even if they risk rejection.
Simple. :wink:
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 94
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:53:30 AM
Most men that I went on at least 1 date with have asked me out. But I have asked a man out a few times.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 95
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/6/2010 4:50:01 PM
Well,.. I'm done asking women out,.. because everytime I choose one,. it sucks REALLY bad! The two very BEST relationships out of ALL my relationships the woman walked up to me, outta the blue, & caught me unaware. I'm figuring it like this,. YOU ask the woman, hey they can take you, or leave you & wait for the next one,.. If THEY'RE doing the asking, THEY have something vested in it, it's THEIR idea, and they seem to work on it harder... just my observation. But I've absolutely quit asking women out. I'll die alone, before I go through yet another sucky choice and wasted time..
 Savona
Joined: 8/4/2010
Msg: 96
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/6/2010 5:08:55 PM


I've not done the asking for a first date ~ and I won't be doing so in the future. Just isn't what I'm about. Hasn't seemed to hinder my social life when I want one, so it must've been OK with those I have dated in the past. JMO


What she said.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 97
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/6/2010 5:09:39 PM

I have asked men out in the past, however shot down everytime, toke it well too (was disappointed, but lets me know they weren't my type) Regardless of my zero record I will probably try again.


They should BE so lucky!
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 98
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/6/2010 7:03:12 PM
Yep, I have. I figure that if I sit around waiting for guys to ask ME out, I could miss out on some really great people. Somebody has to take the initiative, so why not me?
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 99
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/7/2010 1:38:17 PM
Yes, I did.
If something catches my eye in his profile and pics support my inner feelings then I would like to know more. Face to face. Spontaneity takes first seat ...
 Agauesurup
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 100
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Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 10/7/2010 8:10:26 PM
Thanks jco415, your so sweet.
and incidentally, I noticed you a week ago, was going to message you, but you live in the States (not that thats a bad thing but I live in Canada). Drag, big drag, hate when that happens.
Well I just say now, your a really hot man and I enjoyed reading your profile. If you lived in Toronto I would have asked you out a week ago.

OXOXOX
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