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 rjoyful
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 101
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Wow! So glad that my question has sparked so much great participation and the thoughts, and experiences of everyone are just a wealth of information. I tend to graduate from that first email to several, 2 to 5 and then get to IM's for a bit, and see if the guy asks for my number. I have once or twice asked for theirs and then called. It is scary and sometimes when we hit it off up to that point, and we get to the calling stage, the guy has nothing to say and we go back to emails or IM's and then all is okay again. Some just don't like to talk. But at the very least I have made a new friend. I don't consider it a loss at that point because there is much to learn about everyone, so that helps you along the way with others and who knows, you may meet someone through that person. I feel I just have to put myself out there and see what progresses. I always hope with that first meeting that he is THE ONE And I anticipate that all men who are desiring LONGTERM are too. Being my age, with the way I was brought up, and the changing times and today's proprieties, (if there are any), make this a very keen issue with us over 40 crowd. What to do, what to do. Muddle through! Thanks everyone!

Diana
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 102
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:40:53 AM
I always do my best to put a woman at ease and through my actions will in no uncertain terms let her know I am interested in her. At that point her unwillingness to contribute more initiative than simply MORE typing, I perceive as simply lack of confidence on her part or bad baggage she is hauling around from some past relationship. As I find neither trait very appealing, I tend to lose interest very quickly at that point. I am looking for a Relationship of equal parts give and take and not one where I am doing all the giving.
 brillsuk2002
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 103
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:41:53 AM
Well my first post.

If a man has given his number to you and actually hasn't said when to call, then it must means "call anytime" It would also show that he has nothing to hide as in only call me between XX and XX.

If i give my number out, Very rare, then its a anytime you want to ring, except at 3am when your staggering back from town and think it's a laugh to do so. I would be quite unhappy to think i have given my number out and that person hasn't called. However, if we exchange numbers then the man should call first to say hi etc.

End of the day its a phone and not face to face so in theory the conversation should be easier.
 spudz50
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 104
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:39:06 AM
I kinda go with the I don't care who calls first, If you give me number, I'll call..or visa versa. I'll return your calls, texts, emails, etc. If I become dis-interested I will tell you. But if contact all of suddenly stops.. The signs say.... Not Interested......
 Sue74426
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 105
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:40:47 AM
I am a "reserved" Englishwoman living in Spain! I am well over 40 - 62 in fact!

I do think that a woman who wants to contact a man can do that by suggesting that she would prefer talking on the phone, and see if the man offers his number.

If he does I have no problem calling - even if I do have to gather ALL my courage to do so. At least that way I have a chance of finding out more about him and if I am wasting my time (or he is!) If he is rude or objectionable I just say thank you for answering but I think we do not suit! I just have to get over it, and myself, here.

I have a great respect for the fact that most men go through this all the time - it took me a long time to work that one out!!

Hope this helps someone.
 Libby55
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 106
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:13:38 PM
GentlemanJim, I want your number! Mostly because I am about to move to Florida and I haven't a clue what to wear, but that's another story.

Now, about calling a guy-heck ya! I am on this blooming machine 12 to 16 hours many days right now and I get so tired of the click of the keys, I could scream, but it might wake the hooker who moved in next door and she sleeps days. Anyway, I so enjoy a good phone conversation. Thanks to the guys who understand and don't mind talking instead of reading!
 callmelori
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 107
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:40:24 PM
85032luck typed...
get their number -send them a text (less invasive)

Less personal, less interesting, and texting is not how I want to start off anything. But that's only MY opinion and it's based on a dating situation where the man would only text or email me. I hated that. Pick up the phone and call me to ask me to go out.

I will say, I don't like calling men first. If we've chatted on the phone (initiated by him), and he asks me to call him later/tomorrow/whenever, then I will. If a man calls and I can't get to my phone or don't hear it and he leaves a voicemail, I'll call him back. For the initial contact though, I feel if a guy is interested, he'll call. If he's not, he won't call.
 brainsurg1
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 108
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:11:18 AM
If after reading your profile, he finds you to be someone that he would like to get to know. So much so that he gives you his phone # . Call.
Rob
 leglover
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 109
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:32:09 AM
Just call, who has time for such childish nonsense! if you want to be my equal, act like it.
 Me Leona
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 110
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:02:43 PM
That's kind of a heavy-loaded statement "if you want to be my equal, act like it."

Not every woman wants to be "equal" to a man in every sense of the word.

For instance, I don't want to look like you, walk like you, talk like you, think like you, or sound like you. I want to do all those things differently because I'm a woman.

Not to get into the whole gender war issue, manners, chivalry and all that has been done, but I've never had a problem with the guys who are interested in me, calling me, or calling them back.

I think there are both men and women who don't like to pursue and it has nothing to do with equality as a human being.
 strawberi50
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 111
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:04:07 PM
Still perfer the man to call me. Seems like men are somewhat more liberated than I. Would need somewhat of a relationship going before I feel comfortable.
 Cherys Delights
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 112
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:57:30 PM
Yes, I can call the man first.
I don't play that stupid calling game. I call when I want to, if he doesn't like it he can tell me. He can call when he wants, fair is fair.
 Shoedaddy
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 113
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/1/2010 2:25:31 PM
(sweetlilgal2009 pg4 msg#100)

Yup. But I also I remember in high school watching girls chase boys, and it never seemed to work. Not for the long term, anyway. One girl I'll never forget drove by this boy's house and blew the car horn. Every day, after school! Twice! Because he lived on a dead end! LOL! This is a true story.

As far as I know, there isn't a man alive who appreciates that behavior. Because if he was interested in her, she would be so incredibly busy with him, she wouldn't need to drive by his car with her "siren song". And as far as I know, there isn't a man alive that can be "convinced" or "talked into" liking or wanting a woman. He either does or he doesn't. All the phone calls TO him isn't going to change his mind.


..So what exactly is the explanation or argument that suggests that the process is different when men do the same with women?
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 114
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/1/2010 4:02:59 PM
I'm the worst when it comes to calling people. My friends all know not to take it personal...I'm just not one to "Reach Out And Touch Someone" on the phone. I'd rather do it in person......
So no, I don't call men...
My Bad
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 115
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/2/2010 9:07:46 AM
...For me , the trick is.... getting to the point where he leaves his phone number

Seriously though...it took me a while, but I have found that some guys just don't communicate well through e-mails. I will call if they leave a number.

...mae
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 116
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/2/2010 9:04:03 PM
Some do, some don't. Some I call, some I won't. Emails are fine up to a point - but since I can't drive to meet anyone anywhere, it's a combination of emails and phone calls that gets them interested enough to meet. What I have noticed is that the closer they live to me, the less likely they will be to even consider meeting, and if I so much as suggest we might be a good match and it would be nice to actually meet, I'm suddenly a bunny boiler/stalker.

Me, I have no problem calling, but some men seem to have a lot of problems with being called.
 Re-animator
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 117
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/7/2010 4:26:03 PM
We're no different in the respect than women; if the woman is attractive to us, then sure, we'd like her to call. If we don't find her attractive, then the call will be awkward, just as it is for you when a guy you're not interested in calls. It's the 21st century; if you're interested, and think he is, then make the call. If he's not interested, simply move on, like men have had to do all our lives.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 118
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/8/2010 6:49:00 AM

Still perfer the man to call me. Seems like men are somewhat more liberated than I. Would need somewhat of a relationship going before I feel comfortable.

The woman I'm marrying took it upon herself to contact and call me. If you want something, you'll have better luck if you go after it instead of waiting until it finds you.
 Ken_Rgrass
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 119
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/8/2010 3:20:26 PM
If a woman contacts me I'm elated. I make sure she knows it. If she's not right for me I tell her I'm flattered and appreciate her contacting me. I also wish her good fishing in the future. No way am I gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. I know how it feels to make the first move. Either way she has my respect.
 FunkyMonkee
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 120
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:22:43 PM
Life is too short to be worrying about and be so inflexible about such trivialities.

Live your life by these silly rules if you must.

It should be quite clear from the responses here that it is different strokes for different folks .. expect someone to conform and .. well .. you just marginalised a load of perfectly normal, decent , sane people...

If you really think that is helpful .. ... fine ...
 leglover
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 121
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 8/16/2010 8:22:29 AM
oh just call damn it! Women like being in a position of rejector not rejectee just like being asked to dance or out for a date. if you want to be treated as an equal, act like one. if not, get back in the kitchen and be quite!
 ZosoSaint
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 122
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Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 8/21/2010 6:18:01 PM
How do you think men feel? Uncomfortable, uncertain? Yes, just like you. But women simply avail themselves of the prerogative of expecting and receiving the call. They have the best of both worlds. As for me, I like and appreciate being called.
 louise1359
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 123
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 8/22/2010 5:07:38 PM
Wow, over 40/45 and people are worrying about what the other guy thinks? I'm surprised I guess. I know it was not as usual to find people comfortable with themselves and willing to take risks in their 20s; just didn't anticipate it being so common in this stage of life.

If a guy was to be put out by my calling, then clearly he and I are not going to be on the same page about relationships, so it would be good to know. If he's comfortable with it, then that's one thing we have in common, also good to know.

If you are afraid of "scaring off" someone, then either you are too needy or--more likely--you and the other person just aren't on the same wave length. Doesn't matter how much you "want" them to like you. Find someone who wants you, pretty much just as you are; why waste energy changing yourself so that you appear to be compatible with someone you really are not compatible with?

FWIW, on old threads I don't read back very far, so sorry if someone already said this!
 pacfan12
Joined: 8/27/2010
Msg: 124
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 9/2/2010 11:59:09 AM
I have been a phoneaphobic for most of my life. I just don't feel comfortable on the phone, of course I do make and accept calls, but it is not my favorite thing to do. I like a woman to call first if she wants, but I usually will make the initial contact. The phobia was much worse when I was younger in the days of no cell phones, yes those days did exist. All kidding aside it is nice to have a woman make the first move as far as making a phone call and it should make the man feel good.
 stargazin4luv
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 125
Over 40 crowd. Women calling. Do men like it???
Posted: 9/7/2010 3:23:03 PM
I prefer the 2:1 rule. I'll call for every 2 times you call me. This way I'm ensured not to be doing the chasing.
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