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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:36:14 PM | Wow I always enjoy logging onto here..watching people get personal and tear others apart..its so mature.....when one just asks a question to DISCUSS a issue... that is all....but I guess some get a little emotional when they report a thread and the mods dont pull it....rite ?
Sad isnt it ?...oh and to the lovely private emails of support I have received. this morning...foreverkind etc..thankyou...Im pretty ok when I look in the mirror and my reflection stares back..Im no Angelina Jolie, thats for sure.. but the reflection that stares back at me doesnt feel the need to attack anyone on a public level..in a forum... especially when I have no idea of their stories.....Yeah Pete...Ive looked in the mirror this morning....Im doing fine thanks.... | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:10:57 PM | | I couldn't agree with your more...Questio.....however...there is no need to stoop to being nasty or personal, is there ? Is the purpose of any form of forum or debate to stay on topic and argue or contribute accordingly ??....isnt it kinda of sad and pathetic when people feel the need to attack anyone on personal level when we do not know the first thing about them ? - see Jacko thread .....Ive been on the forums for a long time....seen many nasties come and go... just think its quite sad when one feels the need to attack anyone personally so they can "pointscore" and feel better about themselves....Im still looking in the mirror...and Im still ok with what reflects back... | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:35:36 PM | "Pookie".....i think your Q is very relevant to anyone in their 40's who is dating and aspiring to be in a relationship...............................
And, you've posted a very honest,accurate account of what your experiences are.........
Course,i have no clue either as to why the majority * not ALL men* of 40+ men aren't looking for a relationship. ..................???
Sorta begs the Q -- What ARE they looking for,if anything..........??
I had experiences that run parallel to you,in that "they" didnt really want to do the dating thing let alone be exclusive to anyone,and,they didnt want to have any semblance of a relationship......................but they wanted the sex.
Wish more Aussie guys would contribute....................
Think you'd get a TON of responses if you posted this in the Overseas Forums.
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:50:34 PM |
Wow I always enjoy logging onto here..watching people get personal and tear others apart..its so mature.....when one just asks a question to DISCUSS a issue...
*sigh* Yep. I honestly don't think everyone is clear about the difference between attacking an opinion and attacking a person. The forum is for hitting ideas with other ideas, not for throwing rocks at people. The mods aren't going to stop debate just because someone doesn't like the topic or feels slighted about their ideas being out-debated, but they will stop those who get personal. Ignore the kicks, and keep building sandcastles Pooks. | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:28:07 PM | | hmmmm....well i cant speak for men in thier 40's as im not one (only 37 this year), but i think it has been said previously in here that a lot of them possibly have been married since thier early 20's maybe and now have the chance to relive thier 20's the way they wanted to.....not that i agree with this or that i would do it, but it MIGHt be what is happening?? as for guys in thier 30's.......yes probably some are like this as well.....not me personally....i have had 2 relationships in the last 10 yrs...one for about 7 yrs and one for nearly 2 yrs.....and that is what i am after again lol....a long term relatiuonship (anyone interested??? lol) | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:34:06 PM |
Wow I always enjoy logging onto here..watching people get personal and tear others apart..its so mature.....when one just asks a question to DISCUSS a issue...
*sigh* Yep. I honestly don't think everyone is clear about the difference between attacking an opinion and attacking a person. The forum is for hitting ideas with other ideas, not for throwing rocks at people. The mods aren't going to stop debate just because someone doesn't like the topic or feels slighted about their ideas being out-debated, but they will stop those who get personal. Ignore the kicks, and keep building sandcastles Pooks.
I hear you's....I used to post on a site that had forum called 'open slather' for all those folk that didn't like to put the effort into debating and discussion with respect, it worked to some extent but most threads degenerated into mindless abuse pretty quickly. | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:57:02 PM | | hehehe thanks for the lovely offer miss pookie....but im afraid i must decline.....not because of you tho......mostly because i would have to leave my kids behind...and i cant and wont do that lol oh and we have some good beaches over here as well, i live about 2 minutes from one and i love it lol | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:59:16 AM | "i probably won't have a RELATIONSHIP" now till i'm my late 50s menopausal and all my sexual peak energy will have looooong gone!!"
if this is a genuine worry to you now, rest assured.
it wasn't until i hit my middle 50s that i discovered, rediscovered, how good sex is.....
i was always too busy worrying about how my life was going to turn out and forgot how to relax and enjoy each day and experience that came my way.
don't let this happen to you,
life is for living,
not regretting. | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:32:02 AM |
Wow I always enjoy logging onto here..watching people get personal and tear others apart..its so mature.....when one just asks a question to DISCUSS a issue... that is all....but I guess some get a little emotional when they report a thread and the mods dont pull it....rite ?
I wouldn't give some people on here the time it takes to type F*** u on the keyboard... So I take my hat off to you pooks for even bothering. I will point out that paranoia is a thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.
ttt seems you've gone and threatened some with your OP pooks..... nothing like stickin it to em | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:17:04 AM |
I’ve gone to like fourth base with 2 of them- yes home runs have been hit..But I’m a big girl and if I wish to sleep with someone after a first date I can and will (damn those hormones) and I’ve not been sorry…….ANYWAY
I then have like ooo’d and aaahged for like 34 nano seconds to decide if I’m “up for it” or not…ok twice I was…
You may have a laid back feeling about sex, but guy's will cotton onto that and push it to the limit.....leaving you home and dry.
We have
I’m financially secure, I have a career and I’m not bad on the eye then we have
I’m already facing self esteem issues… .....STOP blaming yourself and STOP having expectations! | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:46:41 PM |
but the reflection that stares back at me doesnt feel the need to attack anyone on a public level..in a forum
I too have looked in your mirror Pookie.... much more than once. The image that stares back at me has always been one of beauty, of intellect, of interest and compassion, of concern, genuine niceness, and of an openness of heart and thought that I (and undoubtedly many others) have been privileged to share.
Good onya gal.  | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:26:20 PM | Juliet
All written tongue in cheek...my friend...I would have thought as a long term poster as I am ..you would figure that....and I shared my experience so I could explain where I was coming from and also specifically asked that people focus on the question....not my own experience.....to address the question...which was "Do Men in their 40's want a relationship ?"..this post was not about me but my own experience/observation.. which lead to my question...trust me Im not blaming myself at all ......far from it......Im a pretty nice person and Im sure there are lots of lovely ladies my age who are experiencing the same..hence why Iasked the question... ..gorgeous women who would love to have a great relationship with someone...and yet the men that they and I are meeting....dont..and its sad...especially as one poster mentioned we are at our sexual peak ...and we have the joy of menopause to look forward to......NOT............yeah I dont think me or any of women in my peer are asking too much........and we all have expectations...its only natural that we do !!!.
Told you So Returns....good to see back mate...yeah after many years Im finally ok with myself..took a lot of work...lots of patience and a huge shift in attitude...and Im ok....all I want is something simple...like most women...to meet someone lovely and build something but as I keep going back to my question..Ive yet to meet a guy in their 40's that feels the same....my own observation..and I was wondering..if I was the only experiencing that...and it would appear Im not............
So life goes on....Im ok with who I am...and what I am...and lets face it..I guess thats all matters....at the end of the day...that and Geelong handing St Kilda their ass today..these are all the things that matter in the end... | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:29:00 PM | Yes!
But by the time we hit 40 we've probably been hurt, rejected, demoralised, disappointed, whatever by at least one woman, maybe more.... so we aren't about to jump in to a deep and meaningful relationship unless we feel confident it isn't going to screw us up. When I was 20-something I fell in what I thought was love, got married, had kids - it was just what you did, too young to really think about it. But now that it hasn't turned out like the fairy tale we all want, I am more protective of my future, not wanting to repeat the same mistakes...
Maybe 40ish men are more cynical about the reality of long term love than women the same age? Don't get me wrong, I want it, and I believe it can happen (I can be annoyingly optimistic in fact) but I can't be 100% sure it actually will. So I convince myself that it just might not happen for me, and that's ok. That's not to say the right woman won't prove me wrong, but it's harder now... she needs to convince me she's going to make me happy, and more importantly that I make her happy. Oh yeah, and she's not going to tear my heart out and leave me lying in her wake....
Of course, I am a man so I'm looking for fun and frivolity with a woman that attracts me, but I am certainly also looking for a lifelong friend and partner at the same time. I am hoping (expecting) that they will be one and the same person.... so what starts as a fun friendship, casual dating and so forth, would grow into a relationship over time - but I couldn't say to a woman up front "I would like a real relationship with you", rather we spend some time together, and it will evolve into something more or it won't.
Hmmm longish post, maybe should have just left it at "yes".... | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:52:49 PM | If I were you I’d settle for the guy in his 30’s.
But by the time we hit 40 we've probably been hurt, rejected, demoralised, disappointed, whatever by at least one woman, maybe more.... so we aren't about to jump in to a deep and meaningful relationship unless we feel confident it isn't going to screw us up.
Speak for yourself Journey! All my women left me after I rejected, demoralised and disappointed them ………………………………………ungrateful wenches !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:18:51 PM | | It's NOT TRUE poster above about loss of libido in your 50s . It is stunning how it just sneakily lies doggo and then WHAM! all the dogs are loose . And al you men on POF , it's just a question of you not knowing how to go about a relationship anymore as the rules have changed so much . Women are much less likely to need a masculine shoulder to lean on or to ask a man's advice over their own insight . We are different still , thank the Lord , but we are more equal in life's battles . We don't read Mills and Boon novels anymore band are more likely to bne reading up on the electrical force field around any living thing . Well I am just now and no woman friend would freak at seeing me read such a book . | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:29:31 AM | Nev
I believe that the latest version of Mills and Boone is called "Twilight" it comes under the same category though.
I do think that strong women are magnificent, I was a sucker for Wonder Woman as a kid. ..lol. As can be seen from some of the posts there are still some genuine men in their 40's, just keep fishing, or be willing to be fished. | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:47:02 AM | ....' Twilight '..OK I'll bite Prak . ...is about the theme of vampires in human folk lore as much as it is a girl meets boy novel . Stephanie Meyer is on to something here . As regards Mills and Boon novels ... firstly they demand proof of a high standard of use of the English language , my sister has a friend who was put thru hoops until they allowed her to write for them , and some women need to believe in tall dark strangers who are well endowed , naturally , and my girls and I read them for fun when they were little teenagers . I wanted them to get a realistic view of potential male partners and , honestly , they ARE hilarious to read aloud . I am sure you are well endowed but think you don't quite 'get' intelligent women . You want a relationship ? Go look for it with a woman who can give no quarter to the male in their 40s with their outmoded patronising , paternalistic good old guy approach . This approach is dying a natural . Good luck hunting , hope you gather dear old Prak .  | |
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| Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!!
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:48:17 AM | Ouch, better not offend the Twilight readers anymore, they bite when provoked, met some "real" vampires in NY once, but that was a different story and nowhere near so woemantic....lol. At least the covers of the books are better, and yes the author is on to a winning formula. I dont know many teenage girls and their mothers that havent read it. (In fact I would hazzard a guess that a lot of them have their photos on here with said daughters...lol) But remember that the multitude of readers may not be so literary, proficient or as intelligent as you so obviously are. :kissass:
tall dark strangers who are well endowed , naturally
Are you perpetuating the myth that all dark men are well endowed? sure that this shouldnt read unnaturally?
I am sure you are well endowed but think you don't quite 'get' intelligent women
as per the old joke, im not big in that way but I have a ten inch tongue and can breath though my ears.............lol
Confusion, I have had intelligent women, so i must have been able to "get" them, and I believe that the only thing I was patronising on those days was a pub???????
As to the topic. A man being paternalistic with a woman that they have a physical relationship with, sounds a little wierd to me, and i am generally anything but a "good ol guy", guess if my approach is outmoded then im done for, perhaps its just that some men in their 40's dont like some of the traits that they see in the women they actually get to date? Or perhaps its the shock of the 6 year old photos turning to life as they walk towards you in the mall to the coffe shop........
Perhaps you can put those literary skills to good use and pen a worklist for the 40's man to aspire to?
(PS I dont really think they have an emoticon for that)
Keep smiling | |
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u know better than that.. and if I was the correct sex and could get past ur guard geese u neva know ur luck!!... I didnt realise ur geese was part of ur screening process to weed out the undesirable potential suitors 
( As Mr DH-1 got nibbled and we all know hes undesirable
